


TENder Blooms

by blithe_bee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Character Development, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Issues, Florist!Mark, Fluff, Guitarist!Haechan, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but an endearing idiot, mark's an idiot, side johnten, the OCs are hyuck's family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 111,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blithe_bee/pseuds/blithe_bee
Summary: Mark loves being a florist. He loves his simple, clear-cut, peaceful and, most importantly,quietlife. Then a music shop opens across the street and Mark finds himself face to face with the most arrogant, most irritating and most confusing person he's ever met. His quiet existence falls into chaos, but maybe there's a silver lining... somewhere. Hopefully.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 105
Kudos: 292





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the flower au I may or may not have wanted for myself... an idea I got while joking around with a friend around august about how mark and hyuck's friendship started as the total opposite of what it is now (by literally hating each other oh gosh). 
> 
> this is my first fic on here so I hope you enjoy it! and thank you to the people who hyped me up and convinced me to post it, you guys are the best ♡

During his first year of university, Mark had felt as though he was on top of the world. His dreams and aspirations were big, grand even, and the knowledge that after all the hard work and hours put into his education he'd earn a degree that would allow him a comfortable life only made him more ambitious. He'd always been a hard worker, infinitely dedicated in everything he did, but as a university student he studied and sat his exams with such enthusiasm that one might think he wasn't even working to begin with. It's safe to say that he'd never envisioned himself at his current job. 

A florist. 

Or rather, as his boss preferred to call it, "a connoisseur of the fine art concerning flower vastness and symbolism". Ten loved his big words and ample phrases, but put simply, TENder Blooms (the shop's name being the one instance Ten had lacked artistic vision) sold flowers, oftentimes alongside a sweet, short description of their meaning and supposed healing properties. 

The shop was located on a narrow, old street, in a townhouse which had been expertly renovated and converted into the cozy place it was now. Mainly all glass and mirrors, white furniture and pale vases, it exuded a feeling of openness, of vast space. Despite the modernity the window walls brought, overall the shop was old fashioned, elegant and classy. If there was ever a flower shop which transcended time periods, TENder Blooms was it. Ten, forever a designer and artist at heart, had figured the impact the colourful flowers would have in contrast with the white walls and furniture, as they were further reflected in the mirrors hung so very skillfully from place to place. 

Indeed, the effect was immediate: in the two years since it had opened, the shop had only prospered, making a name for itself in the business and by far exceeding the fame of the competition. People loved TENder Blooms, either for their unique approach (which could be halted in case a client really did want just a simple bouquet, no questions asked), the professionalism with which things were done, or perhaps the boys themselves. Charm and knowledge are a good combination towards success. 

"Don't let this soften you, Mark," Ten would remind Mark on the 26th each month, when he'd examine the month's earnings and everything else Mark was clueless about. "We're top players, but you can never put your feet up. The costumers deserve the best of the best, and that's what we'll make sure to give 'em." 

Mark would nod, just as determined as his boss to make TENder Blooms a worldwide renowned flower shop. Or, you know, just a city renowned flower shop. Either worked - though, for obvious reasons, the latter was more probable. 

It was true Mark had never even dreamt of working in a place such as TENder Blooms. But, fresh off of college, he'd discovered a degree didn't guarantee you a job, let alone a good one. He'd looked for one for months, but even with all his knowledge in the field, he couldn't find one. It was almost always the same answer: "Mr Lee, you truly impressed us, in more ways than one. However...". There was always another person, more capable, with more experience, or who fit the job requirements better. Figures. His dedication aside, he'd began feeling deflated and hopeless. What if his idealism had been his doom? What if he’d end up homeless? It happened to people, after all, so why couldn’t it happen to him? He was really starting to think of the worst possible outcomes, despite his family’s unwavering support. 

Still, he'd been lucky. He'd met Ten through a mutual friend, who'd briefly mentioned the predicament Mark was in. He'd hit it off with Ten from the get go, so much so that a week into knowing him, he'd been asked if he wouldn't consider working at his shop. 

"Listen, Mark. Sicheng, one of the guys who used to help me around, was scouted by this huge dance agency few weeks back. I knew it was his dream, so I told him to go for it. And I'm super happy for him, but y'know, I _do_ need someone to help keep the shop afloat," Ten told him over coffee one day. The left corner of his lips curled up into a sly, smug smirk, yet he managed to make even that look charismatic. "So, you don't have a job, I'm one worker short. See what I'm getting at?" 

Mark cleared his throat, a bit uncertain. He wasn't one to make reckless decisions concerning his future. And it was hard imagining himself doing anything aside from programming, let alone… this. 

"Suppose I do. But you own a flower shop, Ten." 

"A symbolism driven flower shop-" 

"I know, I know," Mark laughed, amused by Ten's elitism. "But that just means that it's both not in my area of expertise, and far out my league." 

Ten shrugged. "You're a smart kid, Mark. You graduated uni with flying colours, and you can't learn some stuff about flowers? Besides, for now I'll be doing most of the work. I'll be the brains of the operation, you be the brawn. C'mon, just say you'll think about it."

Mark did think about it, and a few days later, he was on the second floor of the townhouse, poring over countless books and documents about flowers, while his new boss chilled on the sofa, waiting to answer any questions. If Ten called it an art, he sure was right. There was a lot to learn, but Mark was resolute: he'd get to the bottom of it all. 

And here he was, a year and a half later, as much an employee of Ten's as he was a lover of flowers and everything their "fine art" entailed, caught in TENder Bloom's grasp, same as all their clients. More than anything, he was sure he didn't want another job for the rest of his days. He'd come to genuinely adore being a florist, to the shock of everyone who knew him, and had long since left IT in the past. Flowers were delicate and lovely things, bearers of joy, the entire neighbourhood was peaceful and quiet, and his colleagues had quickly become good friends. What more could he want? 

\---

"But each rose colour also has many meanings, ma'am!" Mark said cheerfully as he explained to his current costumer, an old lady in her 60s, that not all roses were equal. One could not simply buy 'roses'. "Who exactly are you getting them for?" 

"Oh, dearie, don’t worry! It's my husband's birthday, but I already know red roses symbolise love," she said. Mark inclined his head with a mischevious grin. She was right, but what if he made this old woman's present even more special? 

"You're right, ma'am. Just wait a moment while I put something together for you." 

This was one of the simple requests - no arrangements, just one type of flower. But Mark was good at his job now, and he took it very seriously. It had to be nine roses, to symbolise eternal love. He'd make sure some leaves popped up cleanly amidst the roses, for a more natural look. They'd be tied together with a soft, silky white ribbon, quite thick, so as to really accentuate the beauty of the roses. Propped inside the ribbon, a small birthday note, written on the spot by Mark with the help of some key information from the lady, combined seamlessly in a description of the meaning red roses held, of how deep her love for her husband was. Absolutely perfect. She seemed to agree, and she left with a toothless, grandmother-like smile on her face, after hugging Mark tightly. 

"Another happy client," he mumbled to himself, barely suppressing a "woohoo!". His personal touch to the notes was always much appreciated by his clients. 

"Our ace, Mark!" Taeyong, the oldest employee at TENder Blooms, as well as Ten's best friend, clapped a hand over his back in a warm gesture. He beamed at Mark with clear, sincere eyes. "You're even better at this whole thing than I am, and I've been here years ahead of you. You make me so proud." 

Mark's cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. The pale pink of a peony, he would have liked mentioned. 

"Gaaah, Taeyoooong." 

"It's true! You're such a natural at this. Tell him, Hendery!" he called out, probably unsure of the younger's whereabouts. 

A throaty voice came from behind the azaleas. "Sure, it's pretty cool. Until you remember that Mark's the biggest dork when clients aren't around. An awkward dork, at that. Then it's just miraculous." 

Hendery emerged then, face smothered in dirt, his dark brown eyes popping out like coal amidst the mess, holding some pruning shears in his hand. He was only missing his straw hat, else he would have looked like a true gardener. He shot Mark a cheeky, open mouthed smile. Since he was the one who took care of the garden out back, it was a strange occurrence not to see him drenched in either mud or parts of flowers or leaves. 

"Ha, you're one to talk! I've lost count of all the times I walked in on you speaking to the flowers," Mark said, crossing his arms and leaning back slightly, as if he was provoking the other, but was visibly joking. Then, in a deeply exaggerated imitation of Hendery's voice, he continued: "You're so lovely today, my cute carnation! My white lilac, you look akin to an angel! And you, my daffodil, shining so bright!" 

Hendery threw a yarn at Mark's head, which the latter dodged by kneeling behind the counter. 

"Ha, see, you're not denying it!" 

"I don't have to!" 

“You do if you want me to change my mind!” 

“You wouldn’t anyway, why bother?” 

"He's grown them all, Mark. Of course he's attached to them," Taeyong said, ever the voice of reason. 

"I'm not judging. But we all know he's just as much of a dork as I am." He heard Hendery's abashed laughter, who'd since lifted an arm to rub the back of his neck. 

"At least I'm not as awkward as you, doork." 

"Nope. You're cool and jock-y and have everyone falling into your arms with just a gesture, just a word," Mark said, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Hmph, good try. I don't have anyone falling in my arms. I don't need to either," Hendery said drily, not even momentarily troubled by Mark's teasing. 

"Maybe just the flowers," Taeyong supplied. The affirmation surprised both Mark and Hendery, who were used to him softening blows, laughing along with them, but not really making his own jokes. He smiled prettily at them and they all giggled. Mark and Hendery shared a look which implied the end of the so-called dispute, before Hendery grabbed a pair of gloves and headed out back into the garden. 

"Must be nice having a friend the same age as you," Taeyong mused. Mark regarded him fondly. He knew Taeyong had dropped formalities with Ten long ago anyway, so he had no reason to be jealous. "You two are adorable," he added. Trust Taeyong to find anything adorable. 

Hendery was Ten's younger brother, who loved flowers as if they were part of him. As far as anyone knew, they might as well have been. Hendery had come up with the idea of a flower shop, but had no idea how to open one, since he was only good at the practical, flower part. Ten, having the means to make his brother’s dream come to life, did. While Ten handled the actual business and the complexity of flowers, namely discovering the history and meaning behind each one, Hendery was the one who grew and nurtured them. Though he only reigned over the back garden, he often visited the greenhouses they owned outside of town to make sure the plants were being taken care of properly. Mark supposed this love and attention poured into each and every flower was a big part of the success of their shop. 

Later that same day, the clear ring of the shopkeeper's bell announced Ten's arrival. Like everything Ten, it was partly animated and flamboyant, partly graceful and chic, a mixture uniquely his. He plopped down on one of the chairs positioned by the counter, leaning over it in a relaxed manner. 

"Guys! How's work going?" 

Guys was really referring only to Mark, since Hendery was still out and Taeyong had gone upstairs to take up some of the online orders and check if any of their regular clients had birthdays coming up. Their other, much younger colleague (who was only volunteering at the shop a few times a week), Chenle, was also not around today. 

"It's been a pretty quiet day. Not many clients," Mark related and, seeing Ten's giveaway expression, added: "But all who came left happy, with both the service and the flowers. Of course." 

"I wouldn't have expected anything less!" He ruffled Mark's hair, a habit he was rather fond of, then started working about his tote back, looking for something. There was a hint of urgency in his moves and that, paired with the fact that he wasn't asking anything else, troubled Mark. 

"Is everything alright?" 

Ten seemed too immersed in his search to even consider Mark's question. 

"Here!" Ten exclaimed after a few moments, pulling out... a piece of paper? "Okay, Mark. Have you heard the news?" 

Mark shook his head, hoping for an explanation. 

"You know Kun, right?" Kun was the shopkeeper right across the street, who owned a small but rather successful bakery. "Yeah well, I met him down Archway Road, in this downright mansion," (for Ten, every living space that wasn't a townhouse or at least very old was deemed a mansion, a term which he spat out with utmost disgust and a shake of the head) "And he tells me he's moved to a bigger place. A bigger place... As if you need a bigger place to bake the same pies!" 

Mark wanted to note that a large bakery made for more diverse clients, and a bigger kitchen would have made Kun's life easier, but decided against telling Ten such a thing. He'd always been rather immutable in his beliefs. 

"Long story short, their store's been sold off. We'll have new neighbours!" 

"Well, that's not bad news. Kun's an awesome baker, he's earned this." 

A slightly disappointed part of Mark thought about Kun's kindness, his splendid pumpkin pies and the sweet smell from the bakery which always made its way over the street. Once in a while, Kun would save him a slice of cake or a little muffin. He was sad to see him go. Still, he knew Kun's business would only flourish in a larger space, so he didn't let his disappointment linger. Ten hummed, as if he didn't fully agree with the change of scenery, but was happy for Kun nevertheless. 

"What's that, then?" Mark asked, pointing to the piece of paper Ten had taken out. 

"Oh, right! Kun gave me the new tenant's phone number. His name's... " He paused to read the note. "Johnny Suh. Apparently he's going to open up a shop, too." 

"Woah, dope! What kind?" 

Ten smirked, mischief lighting his eyes. "A music shop!" 

"Music? As in like, records and cds and stuff?" 

Ten flicked him with the note over the head. "No, Mark, I mean a legit instrument shop! Or something like that, I don't know, I didn't ask. That's what I'm assuming it'll be." 

"Then why couldn't it-" 

"Mark, these are details. What’s important is I have his number!" 

Mark frowned. "Okay... How's that important?" 

The older sized him up with a very curious look, like he'd just said the silliest thing of all possible things, and Mark began feeling like a tiny speck floating towards a storm. It was not always easy discerning what Ten was thinking. 

"Tsk tsk, such uninspired questions, Mark. We can talk more once you ask the right ones," he said, smiling. In one swift motion, he folded the paper again, this time slipping it in his breast pocket. "Where's Tae, anyway? We were supposed to grab some coffee when he's on break." And he rushed to the stairs, enthusiastic as always, leaving Mark mid conversation. 

Mark just shook his head in resignation, watching Ten disappear, but his face brightened at the possibility of new faces in the neighbourhood. Despite not always being the best at social interaction, he liked being surrounded by others, feeling like he could learn from them, grow as a person. He supposed he had to wait to see just what exactly these new neighbours would bring, but he was hopeful and, honestly, excited. 

\--- 

The following weeks passed in a raucous blur, what with all the renovations taking place across the street. There was a constant fuss: materials being brought in, wood being cut, the walls taking on a new layer of colour, as well as people popping in and out as they discussed various construction plans and jotted down ideas. For Mark in particular, it came as an enlightening process. He started to feel a newfound pride in realising how hard Ten had likely worked to bring TENder Blooms to its current beauty. 

Johnny Suh, the man shrouded in mystery, made his appearance on a gloomy day, right when the constructions began. Despite his intimidating height and good looks, he turned out to be a warm, lively and good-natured man. He won them all over (Ten especially) when he made a joke at his own expense concerning the height difference between him and Ten. It was a joke that could have very easily gone wrong, but he'd handled it with such grace that it soon became obvious to the business-aware side of Mark that he was to make a great shopkeeper. Truth be told, Mark was eager to see his business come to life. 

"That's gonna be one... um... glittery sign." 

"Won't it just be very bright?" 

"Guys, it's literally already both. And it's not even lit up yet." 

All those working at TENder Blooms were gathered by the window, watching curiously as their new neighbours finally put up the sign adorning their shop's name. 

"Wouldn't have pegged Johnny as the type to come up with such cheesy names," Hendery said. One of the rare moments he looked more put together, he was sipping his caramel macchiato, leaning against the door frame. 

"It's sort of inspired though, isn't it? Pluckers, like plucking the strings of a guitar," Taeyong peeped in brightly. Everyone shook their head in unison. 

"Funky Pluckers? Seriously? What kind of name is that?" 

"It only makes me think of hanky panky, and that is not something I ever want to imagine," Hendery said, physically shuddering. "Yikes, who even created that word anyway? It sounds like a 5 year old came up with it." 

"The one good thing about it is that it makes TENder Blooms sound like a work of art. Monet or something," the youngest, Chenle, assessed. At this, they all hummed in agreement, save for Ten, who shrieked a "Hey!", but was readily ignored. 

Mark stared with a frown as Johnny, helped by a man he didn't know, stepped down from the ladder and turned the electricity back on to reveal the sign in all its glory. Inside the metal lining which formed the words were light bulbs, illuminating the name and spreading yellow (for 'funky') and brownish (for 'pluckers') light all over their side of the street. A few of the bulbs weren't working, but Mark figured they wouldn't have elevated the piece even if they had. 

"I guess it partially makes sense," Ten said, though the statement came out as more of a question. "Rock's all glory and riffs and loud noises and whatever else." 

"Thankfully you made our shop reminiscent of classical music," Taeyong said, hugging Ten from behind and making him visibly relax in his arms with a chuckle. "It suits us better." 

"Hence why I call it classy," Ten said. 

Mark watched them with a sideways glance, genuinely warmed by their friendship, which always seemed to shift something in them. 

"The name isn't everything, you know," Mark reminded them. He glanced at Ten with a smile. "Without Ten's brilliant ideas and ways of getting the shop knows, even ours might've never gotten where it is today." 

"You flatter me," Ten said, pressing a hand to his heart in jest, but his expression had softened considerably. 

"I think they'll do well! Johnny seems professional. And everyone loves guitars!" Chenle said. 

"Let's wait and see," came Mark's suggestion. 

And wait they did. Indeed, Funky Pluckers already seemed quite popular right from the first week. Johnny used various techniques to get people to come, and it worked. Ten had (of course) been right - Funky Pluckers was a music store, predominantly centred around selling or repairing guitars, though Johnny had also offered Ten to come over to take a look at their record collection, which he obviously did.

But after 7 pm, the shop also just became some sort of... open spot for music lovers? A mini club? Mark wasn't entirely sure - he just knew that every night at 7, they'd start playing music, somewhat dim the lights, and apparently people came in to chill. How they did that was beyond him - the music was not only rock (which... isn't really relaxing to begin with), but it was so, so frustratingly loud that Mark could hear it from right across the street. From inside his own store. Granted, TENder Blooms windows weren't soundproof, and it wasn't that loud inside, but the music was still there - and Mark couldn't stand it. 

He wanted quiet - he was used to quiet. If music played, it was because he'd chosen to play it, and it was the one he liked. TENder Blooms usually prided itself on its peaceful environment; people seemed to forget silence was as important as sounds. Occasionally, they'd play classical music, but at a minimal volume. They did and would not bother anyone outside with it. 

Mark was beyond irritated, but he tried his best to let it slip. Wait. Be a good, kind, understanding Samaritan. Accept it was perhaps a business strategy. Meditate. Zone out. Ignore it. 

A week and a half later, he couldn't stand it anymore. 

He’d wondered briefly if he was the absurd one. If, perhaps, he was being too harsh. It had mostly to do with Hendery and Taeyong’s confused frowns when he went on a passionate rant about the plague that is noise pollution, but on day 9 he knew, he felt it deep down, that he was being just the right amount of displeased. 

Allies were scarce and hard to come by. Hendery, what with being in the back yard the bigger part of the day, where he could hardly hear anything anyway, wasn’t bothered at all, while Ten’s novel crush on Johnny had made him completely blind. Lovely Taeyong couldn’t hate someone even if he tried, and as for Chenle… “ _GAH_ , what is your deal? It’s good music!”. The only person who seemed to agree with Mark was an old man down the street, but he wasn’t much help. 

So, simply put: Mark was on his own. 

“I’m really going,” he told Hendery, who was looking up at him from an armchair through half lidded eyes, yawning occasionally. It was a quiet evening at work - or it would have been, save for the pure noise coming from Funky Pluckers. 

“Mark… We’ve been over this.” 

“I wasn’t ready then! I’m ready now!” 

"Mate, I’d believe you, and no offence, but it’s like the 15th time I’ve heard you say that. Gotta admit it wears down the credibility a bit, don’t ya think?” 

Mark glared at Hendery, feeling just a bit less confident than he had moments ago. Mind you, he hadn’t been fully confident to begin with. Hendery seemed to catch onto that and smiled slyly. 

“Cool then, go. Just take Chenle with to film it, I can never have enough blackmail material against you.” 

At the mention of his name, Chenle popped out his other earbud, butting in on the conversation. 

“Film what?” 

“Markie making a fool of himself in front of Johnny and god knows how many others.” 

Mark threw his hands up in desperation, an exhausted motion, to the sound of Chenle’s joyful laughter and his ‘Oh, finally!’. 

“It’s not my fault they don’t know proper conduct, you know!” he accused, but didn’t stick around for an answer. Instead, he marched out, finding himself in front of the evil neighbouring store. A deep breath later, he steeled himself with the knowledge that, at best, he’d put a stop to this tomfoolery, and at worst, he’d lose all semblance of dignity he had left. Not an easy choice to be faced with, but he was aware he’d receive merciless bullying back at his own store if he didn’t go through with his resolution. So, all things considered, there really was only one right decision. 

“Hey,” he said lamely as he walked into rival territory. The greeting got lost in the jarring racket coming from the huge speakers positioned around the room. Consequently, no one paid any attention to him. Mark felt the unpleasant sensation that he’d just been dragged to a concert he didn’t want to attend. 

Inside, the store was both exactly as it appeared on the outside as well as utterly different. It was loud, sure, and some of the colour choices were just a bit too bold, but for the most part it felt… cosy. Intimate, even. There was an astronomical amount of pillows and auburn coloured blankets positioned in various parts of the room, among which some people were nestled, and the sheer variety of guitars displayed on the walls was both intimidating and awe-inspiring. In a far corner, Mark also spotted a piano, and briefly mused that it would fit the aesthetic over at TENder Blooms much better. 

All in all, there was something unique about Funky Pluckers, no matter how much Mark hated to admit it. And he did - he was here on vital, urgent business. So instead of loitering around the shop waiting to be ensnared by its deceiving appearance, he called out again to no one in particular, hoping an employee would hear. 

“Hello to you too! Can I help?” came a voice from somewhere in his proximity, making him jump. Startled, he clutched his heart and inhaled sharply, only to find the owner of the words pop up from behind him with a grin. 

The stranger was a young man in what Mark believed to be his age range, dressed in the most inherently rock outfit Mark could imagine - a cashmere shirt with a few of its buttons left unattended, black ripped jeans and a pair of matte black doc martens. However, the authenticity was provided by his smoky eye-shadow and self confident, if slightly cheeky smile, to say nothing of his messy hair. He seemed very comfortable, like he belonged there. He blended in perfectly with the crowd and background, yet simultaneously stood out without even trying. For a moment too long, Mark blinked in surprise at the way the guy simply… shined. 

“No need to tell me to get lost if you don’t need any, I just saw you standing near the door awkwardly and saying hello to… well, no one. Kinda points to need of help,” the stranger added, raising an eyebrow at Mark. 

“No, I, uh,” Mark began, clearing his throat to remember why he was there in the first place. Figuring he was an employee by his offer of help, he continued: "Not really help, just an issue of sorts?" 

"With your guitar?" The young man peeked behind Mark, making him think he was in someone's way. He quickly stepped to the side, only to realize no one was behind him. The stranger laughed, somewhere between real entertainment and light mockery. Balancing the distance between them again, the guy reached to touch Mark's forearm, either to make sure not to lose him again or just by instinct. 

"I was just looking for a guitar case," he said, chuckling. "Since we are a guitar shop and all. If... all the guitars hadn't been enough of a hint." 

For a moment, Mark had actually forgotten. "Oh, I... yeah. I mean, no, it's not a guitar. Could I talk to Johnny?" 

“You could,” said rocker-boy - as Mark had resolved to call him to make up for the lack of introductions-, resting both his hands on his hips in a comfortable stance. “If he was here. He’s not, though.” 

Mark frowned. He didn’t like people not getting straight to the point. He was also trying veeery hard not to go turn that infernal music off himself so he wouldn’t have to speak three times louder than normal. 

“Ah. Okay… Is he coming back any time tonight, then?” 

“Probably not. Had to drive out of town for a couple days and all that. You could pop by Thursday if you want him personally. But I’m here! And I’m pretty sure I know the works just as well as him. So ask away.” 

There was something incredibly cocky about the guy in front of him. Mark couldn’t tell what it was, especially since he generally got along with most people and they’d only exchanged a few words, but this rocker-boy had a demeanour that just… irked him, as arrogant as that sounded. However, when Mark wasn’t in his element and felt an awful lot like he was faced with someone he couldn’t understand, there was an impressive pull to make for the closest exit. 

“No, it’s cool, no worries. I can wait until tomorrow. Thanks though.” 

“You sure? Unless it's money related, I've got you covered.” 

Why did he have to explain himself? “Yeah, yeah. It's fine. I’ll see you later… I guess.” 

And with that, he turned to leave, but rocker-boy only cackled in a very, very aggravating manner. Or, so it sounded to Mark, who’d just about been deafened by the music and who was too annoyed as was to take happily to a guy he didn’t know laughing at something he said.

He caught a glimpse of the other’s carefree expression when he said: “Alright, your choice, big guy!” 

Big… guy? Big guy? Him? Called big guy by a stranger he hadn’t known more than a couple minutes? Big guy? This is where he drew the line. Barely suppressing a huff, he faced rocker-boy fully again and clenched his jaw in vexation. 

“Oh, so you want to show your expertise, yeah? Then how about you help me with this problem I’ve been having for over a week,” he declared loudly. By the way rocker-boy’s expression had shifted into bewilderment, it was clear to Mark that he sounded and probably looked angry beyond any logical reason. But Mark had honest to God had enough and wasn’t about to stop now. 

“This!” He gestured emphatically to the space around them. “For days, _days_ , I’ve had to put up w-with this… this music being showcased everywhere in this neighbourhood. My _quiet_ neighbourhood! I can’t even put together a garland after 7 pm without hearing a bass coming from across the street! Would _you_ like your art to be disturbed by someone else’s ignorance?” When it appeared the stranger had a mind to answer, Mark lifted a hand to silence him. “Sure you wouldn’t. Now I’ve got nothing against your parties or whatever, but like _why_ , why must they be so loud? You could have just as much fun without bombarding everyone else with your stuff. And now I come into your store and you act like nothing's going on? Nothing? Calling me big guy? Brilliant. You said you could help, so here’s your chance! Just turn down that music once and for all, and I'll be deeply impressed,” he finished with a proper scowl. 

To his credit, rocker-boy had trained his initially shocked features to a chilly expression. He folded his arms and leaned back on one heel, thus still bravely holding Mark’s gaze -and, admittedly, intimidating him a bit-, and then just partially turned his head to the side and whistled. 

“Xuxi! Turn the music down, will you?” he signalled to a lanky boy near where the controls were, who did as told without question. Music at a reasonable volume now, he turned back to Mark and shot him the most saccharine smile imaginable. Mark felt his stomach churn at the sight of it and the realisation that everyone was staring at them. 

“Well, there you go! I fixed it. Happy now?” 

That couldn’t be it. Or… could it? Had he misread rocker-boy? 

“Oh, um…” He paused to gauge the other’s intentions, only to be met by a sweet and innocent rocker-boy smiling at him just as before. “Yeah. Super happy. Uh… I- thanks?” He wanted to say it was a long time coming, or that it should have been like this from the beginning, but the stranger's impassivity to his earlier insults left him nonplussed. 

His benefactor grabbed him by the shoulder, nodding as he somewhat turned him towards the exit. “Anything for our neighbours! You needed only let us know our behaviour was bothering you, uh…” He made a small hand motion, implying he didn’t know his name.

“Mark.” 

“Mark. Yes. Glad to know I could be of help!” he announced. “Was there anything else you needed?” 

“Uh… no. T-that was it, I guess. I didn’t mean to be rude, but it was just so loud-” 

“No, I get it, I get it. No worries, Mark. Anyone can tell you I aim to please.” 

Mark awkwardly lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck. “No, but thanks, really.” 

"Of course, of course. But if that's all, then..." 

"I'll let you get back at it," Mark said, still confused. 

“Much obliged, Mark.” 

Though his replies sounded like mere sarcasm or ridicule, the easy-going grin on his face appeased Mark’s suspicion, and he even left smiling himself. 

Mark skipped down the street as he returned to his own shop, glancing back only to bask in the pure joy of knowing that he’d played a paramount role in the welfare of his neighbourhood, in the tranquility that now washed over the streets. Things had gone better than he’d even anticipated, and though he had to endure the guilt of having snapped at the kind stranger who’d restored his peace, he could only return to his colleagues with a sense of pride and achievement due to his victory. 

Just as he was about to enter TENder Blooms, however, his whole world came crashing down. Again, despite all sense and expectation, the riffs of a guitar could be heard coming from behind him. Loud, clear, resounding. Exactly like before, but now it felt completely and entirely meant for him, meant to grate his nerves in the worst way possible. 

Betrayed and beyond infuriated, he glowered back at the place he’d just left. He located rocker-boy among those hanging by the window, and was shocked to see him watching him. He didn’t need good eyesight to make out the coy smirk on his face, and he only took one last, enraged look at him before storming inside his shop, knowing without a shadow of doubt that he'd just made an enemy. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark's frustration reaches an all time high and he takes some rather drastic (and somewhat illegal?) measures to make the music stop - and get back at rocker-boy while he's at it, evidently.

The previous night’s events seemed to take a toll on everyone, somehow. Or rather, Mark’s state following the catastrophe had stunned all those at TENder Blooms. Though he didn’t explain what had occurred, it had clearly had cataclysmic results. He appeared stuck between a scowl and gloom most of the day, and the few times clients weren’t around, he’d look daggers at Funky Pluckers as though it was the guitars exhibited in the window who’d wronged him. 

Given no one had seen him so angry in his almost two years of working at the shop, Ten, as the caring boss and friend he was, took it upon himself to get to the bottom of it. That, and everyone else took it upon themselves to push the poor man towards Mark during their lunch break. 

“Mark,” Ten said, stopped. Cleared his throat stiffly. Continued with just a bit of his usual sureness. “The guys told me you went to Funky Pluckers last night. They, uh.” He glanced at the others, who were hanging around the store pretending to busy themselves with random things. Chenle shot him a significant ‘go on!’ look, so Ten did. “They also don’t know what happened. So, basically, what I’m asking is-” 

“Nothing worth mentioning,” Mark cut in simply, nonchalantly. Ten blinked at the younger in confusion.

“Mark… You know we’re all your friends here, and something’s obviously bothering you. Is it the music? Did Johnny say something?”

“Come on, Markie. We just want to help,” said Taeyong with a pacific smile. 

Mark sighed, unsure whether to let them in on his troubles. He hadn't intended for them to become a problem. But as Ten was looking at him so warmly, he just couldn't help but come out with it all.

"Never mind the music, it's that rocker-boy with his obnoxious smile and the way he's all up in your face with how confident he is!" Mark finally confessed, each word coming out more or less like poison. But, unlike the previous night, he wasn't truly angry; his emotions were more controlled, as if he'd since accepted them, but his irritability came from a wounded pride. He wasn't one to hold grudges, but the stranger who not only ignored his mistakes, but also decided to mock him, had temporarily changed something in him. "And he thought he was real funny when he pretended to help me out, ha! As if!" 

No one really knew what he meant, so a wave of questions followed the revelation, to which Mark gave ample explanations. It was a way of letting out steam, more than anything. 

"Well, Mark..." Taeyong started quietly, expression soft but sympathetic. "You started yelling at a guy who was only trying to help... can't you see why it upset him enough to react like that?" 

"Well, no-" 

"Taeyong's right," Hendery added. "I bet you're gonna say he's a worker so he has to be polite," (which was indeed what Mark had been about to say, if his arched brow was anything to go by) "but not everyone's like you, man. People react differently. Hell, even you reacted out of character last night." 

Mark shook his head as his expression became stern again. "Maybe, but that's not the same. It wasn't my shop, I wasn't disturbing people, and I _certainly_ wasn't playing around and making fun of them." 

"Not everyone's cut out for this line of work, y'know." Despite the simple assertion, he was half smiling. 

"Then maybe he shouldn't work there!" 

"Perhaps so. Not your choice, though," Hendery said and retreated to a corner of the room, signalling that that was his last contribution to the conversation. 

Mark groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend's back. Taeyong threw Ten a look, as if to say he knew Mark would listen to him if he were to talk to him - properly. 

"Listen, Mark," Ten began, lying a hand on the younger's arm. His voice was calm and comforting and it eased some of Mark's anger. "I'm all about a bit of fun, but I get why it's bothering you. Just... I'll talk to Johnny about it when he gets back, alright? But try, please try, not to do anything... reckless, yeah?" It was obvious he'd used reckless as the kinder alternative to stupid. "Some people don't match and that's that, no need to make it into a bigger deal than it is." 

"But, Ten-" 

His boss cut him off with a tut. "Nope, no buts, no tens. Let bygones be bygones." When Mark frowned in disapproval, he let out a hearty laugh. "Just forget about rocker-boy, Marks. You've got more important things to worry about. And anyway," he lowered his voice at the end, like he was sharing valuable advice, "You can never solve anything in anger." 

Mark sighed but agreed. 

...Partially agreed, but he didn't let Ten know that. He simply decided to wait, give rocker-boy the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he himself had been the one to stir up trouble with his approach, and rocker-boy could be forgiven his one musical tantrum. Time would tell. 

_"It's the final countdown!"_

The heavy guitar riffs and that singular line continued to ring in Mark's head even after the music had stopped at 10:47 pm (he'd checked). See! Of course rocker-boy had deserved his mistrust! He'd gone and played his music again, as per usual, with no regard for anything that had happened. He could have been excused before, since he might not have known it was aggravating, but now! Now he knew Mark's feelings - it had to be a personal attack. Mark wasn't having any of it. 

Precisely why, at 1 in the morning, Hendery was woken up by a rather wild shake. 

"Huh?! What-- Who's--" He bolted upright with a sharp intake of breath, eyes wide with fright, before they slowly focused on the form beside him. "...Mark?!" 

Mark would have laughed at his reaction were his mind not elsewhere. 

"It's me, yeah. C'mon, wake up." 

Hendery glared at him. "I _am_ up, idiot. The hell I wouldn't be after you scared me like that! What _is_ your problem?" He looked around, lost. "It's still night?"

Mark rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed next to his friend. "Listen, do you know how to lock pick?" 

"Lock pick? As in, doors?" 

Mark nodded. 

"Without keys?" 

Another nod. 

"Like breaking in sort of lock picking?" 

"Mhm." 

Hendery blinked as if through sleep for a very long moment. Then he sighed and lied down again, right in the position he'd been in before Mark's arrival. "I'm too tired for this," he mumbled into his pillow. 

Undeterred, Mark lifted him back up again. "No, for real. Do you?" 

"The hell would you need to lock pick in the middle of the night for?! Whose locks?!" Hendery hissed. 

"Someone... someone who deserves to have their lock picked!" 

It was only because Hendery was physically too exhausted to punch Mark that he only pursed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance. "This is about Funky Pluckers, isn't it." It was clearly not a question. 

"Well, yes and no, but I'm not going to do anything ba-" 

"Do _you_ know how to lock pick?" Hendery asked flatly. 

"No...?" 

"Good. Then I can sleep in peace." He pushed Mark's hands away and pulled the covers over himself, knocking the other off the bed with a kick. "Now go to bed and leave. me. alone." He peeked from beneath the covers at a desolate Mark, throwing him a lazy glare. "And for the love of God, forget about that guy and _sleep_." 

Mark huffed but acknowledged that he'd get no help from this person. But extreme times called for extreme measures, so after much contemplation ("Will the government find out? Will they come for me? Can search history be used as evidence in the court of law?") he began his endeavour. After about an hour spent researching the topic and watching videos of picklocks extensively, he felt ready. To save the neighbourhood or become a criminal, he didn't know. 

'Vigilantes have to exist, so like. They're the good guys. The Robin Hoods who think about the greater good, not themselves. Sacrifices and stuff. Yes! This is toootally fine,' he chanted to himself the entire time he examined the streets for signs of human life, checked Funky Pluckers for security cameras (and why didn't they have them anyway? It was clearly their fault) and carefully but clumsily worked about the shop's lock with some makeshift lock picking utensils. 

He could only stare in shock as the door actually, literally, truthfully opened after about ten minutes of failed attempts. 

"Oh. Wow?" he whispered, unsure what to do now that his grand plan had worked. He'd have tried again and again until the break of dawn if he'd had to, but a part of him still didn't believe he'd actually manage. 

Making sure to check for any witnesses once more, he stepped in stealthily and closed the door after him. He had to be quiet and precise, and the latter was not his specialty. Still, once determined, there was no going back. The lampposts reflected sufficient light inside the shop and, paired with some of the lights illuminating the windows, there was no need for a torch, which Mark appreciated. He'd have really felt like a thief, snooping around with his phone's torch like that. Though... he sort of was about to become one, anyway. 

The shop was even cooler at night. The faint light cast on the guitars almost made them shimmer, an elegant array of colours playing on their surface. Mark also noticed some glow in the dark stars plastered on the walls, making up several constellations. If not for his animosity, he'd have really enjoyed spending time there. As it were, he had to look for sockets.

He followed the direction of the speakers' cords, hoping to unplug them. He silently pushed some pillows aside to reveal his reward. It was (he realised too late) a bit extreme and dramatic and definitely childish of him to be doing all this, but rocker-boy had given him no choice. Plus he just really, _really_ wanted to see his expression upon discovering his most treasured possession had disappeared. 

So, he hoisted the first speaker up in his arms, somehow managed to open the door without dropping it or alerting anyone (thank god Funky Pluckers didn't have a shopkeeper's bell like TENder Blooms did) and carried it back to his shop, leaving it in the storage room. He then repeated the process another two times. It was going wonderfully, surprisingly, and Mark was sure he had never been prouder of himself. Important lesson: always follow your heart! Or, not.

Just as he was about to pick up the fourth and final speaker, he heard some footsteps coming down the stairs. The fear made him momentarily freeze, and he could only stare towards the sound. 

"Johnny? Is that you? Are you back already?" came the voice, and something interesting happened to Mark upon hearing it. He almost paralysed all over again, but then he recognised it. It was rocker-boy, no doubt about it. His words and voice hadn't left his mind ever since they'd met the day before (or, two days ago now), and Mark just knew it was him.

In the wake of his realisation, he frantically looked around for a hiding place, only there weren't any. Behind the front desk was the worst idea - anyone would think a burglar was out to steal the money, while the rest of the shop didn't offer many hiding spots for a whole 5 feet 8 man. Panicked, he saw the pillows and lied down between them and the wall, pulling some over himself as way of cover. It was late, dark, and an unlikely place to look, so maybe he'd survive this yet. 

Rocker-boy entered rather quietly, though it didn't seem like he was purposefully trying to be stealthy. Which, Mark mused, was pretty dumb. Announcing his presence ahead of time? Walking in all confident? What if there was an armed robber in the shop?! What would he do then?! 

Mark held his breath, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. The footsteps neared and distanced repeatedly, as rocker-boy inspected different parts of the shop. After a minute or two, they halted, and Mark thought he might have even gone upstairs again without him realising. He stayed put, though, unwilling to take that risk until he heard the creak of the stairs. 

"Huh..." rocker-boy said suddenly, as if in deep thought. "I wonder what I might have heard." 

_Nothing_ , thought Mark desperately. _Nothing, go back to bed!_

"Hm, maybe it was just someone outside? Or that silly cat pushing something off a shelf again. How curious." 

Mark almost physically nodded in his excitement at rocker-boy losing his trail. 

"But... what a funny thing!" He tapped his foot against the floor. "Something seems to be missing! Might I be dreaming?" He sighed theatrically. "I must be. After all, no thief would steal some speakers, and no thief, even an amateur, would hide so badly." 

Badly? 

Rocker-boy didn't say anything for a while, but Mark's heart pounded in his chest. He hadn't called the police, he was talking to himself, it'd be fine - 

"You do know I can see you, right?" 

Silence. Mark couldn't blow his cover. What if rocker-boy was just bluffing? 

"Your face is literally in full view, please-turn-off-the-music-guy. And your limbs are everywhere. How're a few pillows gonna cover all that?" 

Mark braced himself and quietly, awkwardly stood up, the pillows falling around him pitifully. 

"Now that's more like it!" rocker-boy said. Though he was wearing shorts and a plain white t-shirt, had just been woken in the middle of the night, and had met a thief in his shop, all which might have made anyone else lose face, he looked completely unimpressed. Really, he seemed amused, but also a bit critical as he eyed Mark up. 

"Okay, it's not-" 

"Not like you stole most of Johnny's speakers and were going to run off with that last one too? Of course not!" 

Mark had no idea what to say. He wouldn't apologise or explain himself, but he couldn't argue either. As things stood, rocker-boy held the upper hand. He just rubbed his forearm idly. 

Rocker-boy smiled gamely. "Cat got your tongue?" 

"What would you have me say?" 

"Far be it from me to ask a speaker thief for an apology!" he laughed, twirling the baseball bat Mark just noticed he held in his hand. So he had come somewhat prepared after all. "But I have a question. What were you planning to achieve with this, anyway?" 

"Stop your incessant racket, maybe?" 

His nemesis jumped up on the counter, setting the bat aside. "Pff! And you really thought I wouldn't have figured out it was you? After everything that you said the other night?" 

Mark wondered why he hadn't just run out the door into the night and avoided this interaction altogether. 

"I... didn't." 

"What?" 

"Think that far," Mark admitted, more of a whisper to himself than anything else. In the dead quiet of the night, rocker-boy heard and nearly exploded with laughter. Mark glared coldly. 

"Can you not? Do you want to wake everyone up?" Mark accused. 

Rocker-boy shrugged. "What if I do? Afraid of the repercussions?" 

Being swallowed up by the ground for all eternity seemed like a much better fate right about now. He was really enjoying this, and Mark hated him all the more for it. Though, truthfully, he couldn't blame him either, that didn't stop him from wanting to wipe the smirk right off his face. But, stuck as he was in the corner of the room, caught red handed, fearing for his reputation and worried his parents would find out (he hadn't done something like this even as a teenager!), there wasn't anything he could do. The boy waved offhandedly.

"Chill, chill. It's only me and Johnny and Sissi his cat here, and he's not back yet. With all the commotion, I thought he'd returned early or something. As for Sissi, she can't even catch mice to save her life, so you're safe." 

"Am I?" Mark said, raising an eyebrow at him. 

"Well, it depends. How 'bout you bring me back my speakers? Then we can forget this ever happened." 

Now that was not something Mark could even consider. Stubbornness was as much part of Mark as his determination, and around rocker-boy both those qualities only intensified. Returning the speakers meant a game lost, admitting defeat, a KO to Mark's confidence, and he wasn't going to give in that easily. Rocker-boy noticed his apprehension and sighed, the first display of anything less than grit. In all honesty, he looked tired. 

"Look, you're in my shop. I know you stole them. What's to stop me from calling the police?" he said. 

"What stopped me from calling it when you were disturbing the entire neighbourhood," Mark said, not about to back off. Rocker-boy threw his head back in frustration. 

"One's a mild offence, if even that, they'd have just told me to keep it down. This is breaking and entering. How are they even comparable?" 

"I'm only doing this because you wouldn't stop," Mark said, crossing his arms. "You kept doing your thing even after I told you it was infuriating." 

"Told or yelled?" rocker-boy said, no real bite to his words. Mark huffed. 

"I apologised right after. You're the one with-" He nearly said superiority complex, but his heart didn't let him. Angry or not, he wasn't one to hurt people. "The one who isn't letting it go." 

"Rich, coming from someone who's here because he stole, and I mean literally stole my speakers." 

Yet again, Mark was struck by how little he could make of the stranger's expressions - or his words. It was like he was alternating between jest and genuine irritation, or perhaps a combination of the two, but it rarely fully showed on his face. He was smiling, but it didn't always quite reach his eyes - though it didn't appear forced either. His retorts were fluid and simple, witty, with no sense of hesitation behind them. But what was Mark to make of them? He paused for a moment to take in the boy before him, but he was only graced with... more confusion.

"What is it?" the boy said, noticing. 

Mark shook off his daze and rubbed at his eyes, drained both from the conversation and the late hour. The need to rest was catching up to him. "Nothing, just... I'll give them back." 

Rocker-boy smirked. 

" _If_ you promise not to use them." 

"You're such a funny man, aren't you? That's the same as not giving them. Of course I'm gonna use them," he said, crossing his own arms and mirroring Mark's pose. 

"Use them all you like, but at a normal volume." A moment passed in which the two just stared at each other, but Mark wasn't intimidated anymore. 

"Let's just say I'll think about it. But bringing them isn't optional," the stranger said firmly. 

"It is if you don't promise," Mark retorted, adamant in his demands. With a graceful push off the counter, rocker-boy approached Mark until they were not even half a metre apart. He fixed Mark with a pair of intense hazel eyes, partially frowning. Instinctively, Mark took a step back, hoping to put some distance between them again. 

"Why are you so intent on this whole thing? Just give them back."

Mark figured he finally had a match in stubbornness. Both of them were clearly standing their ground just to not give in to the other. Had it been someone else, Mark might have relented just for the sake of it, or their feelings... eventually. But whoever this guy was —as he'd surprisingly or unsurprisingly not even told him his name yet—, he had a way of making Mark act... a lot unlike himself. 

"Do you promise?" 

Rocker-boy sneered. "Mate, come on." 

"Do you?" 

"No." 

Just why was a person so dedicated to making people's lives hard? Mark was trying with his entire being not to groan or roll his eyes or start another lecture.

"Then there's your answer," he said instead, brushing past the other (and ignoring the urge to knock him with his shoulder) and heading to the door. 

"Wait-- hello? I can simply call the police? Would you prefer that?" 

Mark shrugged but didn't look back. "Do it, I guess," he said, trying to sound unaffected. He didn't want to deal with something like that. It would eventually end with Ten or Johnny's implication and his charges would probably be dropped, but it was embarrassing and stupid and rebellious and not him. His mother did call him pigheaded for a reason, though. Even so... part of him didn't think rocker-boy would do it, despite his terrible impression of him. 

"You-- you're just leaving?" the boy said, voice dripping with exasperation. 

"For the good of the neighbourhood!" Mark announced, purposefully martyr-like, leaving the shop to the sound of a grunt. 

"You-- Unbelievable." 

Mark could hardly keep himself from letting out a self satisfied laugh. He still couldn't stand _or_ understand rocker-boy and his complete disregard for other people, but it felt great to know he'd frustrated him for once, too. The speakers he passed by when he returned to TENder Booms felt just as good. For once, his descent into sleep was more or less peaceful.

His morning wasn't, however. 

How could it be, when Ten walked downstairs to open the shop, only to discover three speakers clumsily discarded among the flowers? His initial reaction was of shock, but he tried to think of some plausible, non-criminal explanations for their being there, at least until Mark - the most likely culprit - woke up. It wasn't until an hour later that Johnny walked in, smiling but just slightly weary, as if he'd had a sleepless night. His morning hadn't been much better - he'd returned to find his speakers missing and his friend sulky, telling him about a 'silly guy from the other shop taking them'. Johnny being Johnny, he just asked for them back, amused for the most part by such a thing happening in his absence. Or really, happening at all. 

Ten nearly kicked Mark downstairs to apologise, but Johnny insisted it was fine and laughed that airy, bright laugh of his. He even patted Mark's shoulder, though he still teased him. 

A responsible boss, Ten made sure to have Mark carry them back himself. He cared about Mark very much, but he couldn't let him feel like he'd done something honorable, no matter how much Johnny tried to convince him it was fine. 

Sighing, Mark did as told, but didn't feel very remorseful - just embarrassed to put Johnny in that kind of position.

"I did tell you them being returned wasn't optional," rocker-boy said, holding the door with a small smirk to help Mark carry them inside. And that's why Mark couldn't even begin to feel remorse. This guy really cared about no one but himself, didn't he?

"At least I gave you a taste of your own medicine," Mark mumbled, not really caring if the other heard. By the way he 'accidentally' let the door hit him in the shoulder when he left, Mark was pretty sure he had heard.

After Ten's competent, mature intervention, explaining to Johnny why the... theft had taken place, the music decreased in volume. In fact, one couldn't hear it unless they opened Funky Pluckers' door, which Mark clearly never did after his past experiences there. Instead of excited, he found himself indifferent to the whole thing, which everyone preferred to more arguments.

But his indifference towards the music, or lack of thereof, didn't extend to the boy with tousled hair, smoky eye shadow and presumptuous way of being. Whenever he saw him enter his shop, Starbucks coffee in hand and grin perpetually adorning his face, Mark found his gaze would follow him in irritation. What reason did he have to be so sunny about? Did he pride himself in ruining people's lives? Take joy in mocking others? 

"When did you become so dramatic, mate? He's just going about his day, chill," Hendery had let slip, only to end up having another random thing thrown after him. 

"Going about his day like nothing's happened!" 

"Because... nothing... did? If anything, you're the one who should be embarrassed, breaking into his shop like that." 

Mark just huffed.

"Wait... is that the employee Mark hyung is so worked up about?" Chenle asked when he heard the conversation, looking out the window to the boy in question. 

"Yup, rocker-boy who's too evil to inhabit the planet, let alone this neighbourhood," Hendery supplied with an eye roll. 

Mark nudged him. "I never said that!" 

"You might as well have. You're all 'What is he doing? Why is he laughing? Why does he ruin-'" 

"Only because I saw how he acted--" 

"Twice in your life? How is that ruining anything--" 

"Hyungs!" Chenle called out, forestalling his older friends' unending bickering. With their attention captured, his hands came to rest on his hips and boisterous laugh filled the room. "Are you saying Hyuck hyung's evil? That's- that's the funniest thing I've heard all week!"

Sharing one surprised look, both Mark and Hendery dashed and cornered Chenle. 

"What? Hyung? You know him?!" Mark prodded, brows arched so high they'd vanished behind his bangs. Chenle only laughed more at their reaction. 

"Care to let us in on the joke?" Hendery said. 

"'Kay, 'kay," the younger finally agreed after a proper laughing session, inhaling and exhaling slowly to stop himself. "So! His name's Donghyuck, but I've known him since... forever, so like. Hyuck. And- Wait, I just-" He cracked up again, shaking his head in disbelief. "Hyung, Hyuck-hyung's a lot of things, but believe me, he's not evil. Like, dunno, maybe... bold's a better word. But he'd never hurt a fly! _Well, I don't think he could, even if he tried_ ," he muttered the last part to himself. 

"Well he doesn't seem so--" 

"But how do you know him?" 

Both Mark and Hendery spoke simultaneously. Chenle gave another giggle. 

"He's like a family friend of sorts. Or his family is. Ex business partners or something, dunno. Mum loves him. But really, mum loves everyone, so it's not much to go by. But he _is_ super funny! And warm!" 

"...Warm?" 

"Yeah! Warm, cuddly. You hyungs never let me hug you, it's unfair." 

"Hello, don't put me and Mark in the same boat, I hug you all the time!" 

"Yeah, but no one's like Hyuck-hyung-" 

"Can we get back to the part where you say he's not evil?" Mark said, like the previous conversation had never ended. Chenle sighed. 

"You can talk to him, you know," he advised. ('As if we don't know how that would go down,' mumbled Hendery). "I mean, properly and all. Like, he's a cool guy, you might grow to like him. Give it a go!" 

"Like him!" Mark scoffed at the thought. 

"This isn't really like you, hyung," Chenle said, eyeing him carefully. "Don't you get along with everyone?" 

"I don't get it either," Hendery mused, moving next to the youngest to look at Mark with his chin between thumb and forefinger in a thoughtful gesture. "One guy has a bit of fun after, I don't know, a random guy walks up to him to insult him, in his shop, and Mark acts like the foundation of the world just crumbled." 

They both shared a meaningful look, as if to say, we'll get to the bottom of this. In short, they'd teamed up, and Mark didn't know what to say. They were both a handful on their own, thank you very much.

"Please stop staring at me like that. I can see both your minds ticking together and that's the scariest thing I've ever seen," Mark pleaded.

Chenle laughed, locking arms with Hendery and pulling him away. "Fine, hyung." That didn't reassure Mark at all. "But stop being so angry and frown-y all the time. You're gonna end up with wrinkles."

"Hear, hear!" 

Sigh. Great. It wasn't just Donghyuck now, but his friends too.

\----

Late Thursday afternoon, Mark was placing their new order of pots and vases on the shelves in the room directly adjacent to the main hall, humming quietly to himself. Chenle was out on a delivery, Taeyong was on break, so it was only Ten tending to the clients. Another one walked in right then, with a click of the bell. 

"Hello!" Ten's cheerful voice greeted. "Ten at your very service, what can I help you with on this positively stunning day?" 

Mark rolled his eyes at his boss' antics, still rearranging the pots. He had such an easy, fluid way of speaking to clients, with both coquetry and genuine care for their needs, that only he seemed to get right. 

"Well, it's funny you'd ask. Uh, if I'm honest, I've never bought flowers before, so I don't really know how to go about it..." the client's voice trailed off, sounding a bit abashed. 

"Unheard of, utterly unheard of," Ten said, and Mark could basically see him clutch at his chest in mock hurt, the most Ten gesture there is. "But we can remedy that today. Is there an occasion? A person you have in mind?" 

"Well, it's my sister's graduation tomorrow, and she's a big fan of flowers. But I, um... can't remember which." 

Ten chuckled in good nature. "There's plenty choices. Here at TENder Blooms we don't believe in such a thing as graduation specific flowers: it's more about what flowers would make the day special for each person. So... simple questions first. What's her favourite colour?"

"Yellow!" The client laughed too. "She's the most sweet and happy person you'll ever meet." 

"I wouldn't mind it if I did! But first, let's make sure tomorrow she's just as happy, if not more, than usual." 

Mark quietly finished his chores during Ten's diligent inquiries and, happy with his work, he returned to maybe throw in a few ideas of his own for the bouquet. But just as he made the corner to enter the main hall, he stopped in surprise.

No, surprise was a nice term for what he felt - which was horror. 

Recognizing him was the least of his problems. If the way he was leaning back on his right leg, arms crossed, wasn't enough of a giveaway, the relaxed gaze that met Mark's (who'd stopped right in the door frame with a thump) had confirmed Mark's deepest fear. Donghyuck was looking as stylish as ever, wearing a nude sweater tucked in, a pair of dark round glasses hanging by its collar, and he was currently standing in his store. Why hadn't he recognised his voice? After that night, maybe his subconscious had tried to forget it for all eternity, which he couldn't blame it for.

"What are you doing here?" Mark blurted out before he could think. One of Donghyuck's eyebrows shot up comically, and he turned his body more towards him. He didn't look angry, or upset, or surprised - he just smiled simply, no true emotion behind it. None that Mark could distinguish, at least. 

"Mark!" Ten said in alarm ahead of Donghyuck. "You can't talk like that to a-" 

"I meant you," Make said to his boss, to save face. "There's, uh, there's something that needs urgent help in the backroom." 

"Can't Hendery-" 

"No! It'll just be a second. Can't be helped." 

Ten stared at him, and Mark almost ran out the room then and there. It was a dumb excuse - there wasn't anything Ten hadn't taught them to handle themselves, and as his boss himself had said countless times, there was nothing more important than a client's needs. ("Unless the store's burning down, of course. But I advise that even then you'd best call the firefighters. It's not like there's anything _I_ can do about it.") A few beats later, Ten sighed.

"Fine. I'll be back in a flash, alright? So sorry about this!" 

Donghyuck shook his head in reassurance, and if Mark hadn't walked out with Ten, he'd have seen him holding back laughter. 

"This is so unlike you, Mark. What's gotten-" 

"Do you know who that guy is?" Mark cut him off for the third time, a dangerous path to walk with Ten. The older took a calming breath, moments away from a breakdown because of Mark's behaviour. 

"If you're referring to the fact that he's an employee from Funky Pluckers, then yes, I'm well aware. But since when has that-" 

"He's not just any employee!" Mark whisper shouted, leaning in and gesturing hysterically. "That's Donghyuck!" Ten frowned, puzzled. God, why hadn't Donghyuck come in to complain to Ten himself that time? This all could have been avoided. "The speakers guy!" 

It was like a cloud took off from Ten's features, and his eyes shined brightly as he let out a loud 'ha!'. "Oh, him! Mark, you idiot." 

"I'm-" 

"Listen, listen," Ten started, eyeing him evenly, a fatherly appearance to him. "This cat mouse game, it was fun a while, right? But you've gotta stop this, Marks. It's childish, what has the lad done to you anyway? Stop, don't answer that. The answer is nothing. I am 100 percent sure that if I asked you right now what your problem with this Donghyuck fellow is, you wouldn't know what to tell me! Because there is nothing to say! He's a guy, you're a guy, there was a misunderstanding, that's it." He wrapped an arm around Mark's shoulders, making him crouch a bit to reach his height. "Now I know you got me back here to ask me why I'm selling him flowers, but we're not gonna go over the procedure, 'cause you know the procedure. Now, I say, we do something else." 

He turned Mark around again, patting his hair a bit, dusting his shoulders, looking placid but resolute. Mark didn't dare interrupt again. 

"I say you go out there and you sell Donghyuck the flowers he needs." The younger's eyes widened at the realisation of Ten's plan, and he started shaking his head in disbelief as well as panic. Ten only shrugged indifferently. "I don't want to hear it. You're gonna go, you're gonna make amends, and you're gonna stop this tomfoolery, 'cause that's what this is! It's your job, and that's that. Thank me later." 

As Mark's complaints went unheard, his last resort was to try to hold in place as his boss pushed him from behind. It didn't work - Ten was shorter than him, but his build was good, and years of having dance as a hobby had given him more strength than Mark's programming and flower arrangements ever could. So, before he knew it, he was yet again face to face with Donghyuck. He tried to straighten his clothes and act like he hadn't just been pushed inside like a child. 

"So, sadly, I have news," Ten said, and there was an impish glint in his eyes that seemed to reflect in Donghyuck's as well. "There really is an urgent matter I have to take care of. And I mean urgent urgent. Can't possibly be delayed anymore." Mark glared at him as he figured out he meant his and Donghyuck's... situation. "But! You're in good hands! Mark here's my best worker. He'll attend to you today. Super, super sorry!" 

"It's no problem, I totally understand," Donghyuck said, and all of Mark's hopes of keeping his dignity were crushed as he saw that Donghyuck's clever expression still matched Ten's, and he knew Donghyuck really did understand. 

With that, Ten clapped Mark on the back, leaned in stealthily and whispered "And this is also for interrupting me. Have fun!". With one last smile, he left in a hurry. 

Mark didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream or laugh or curl up in a ball. It would have been preferable if he could have done them all at the same time. But since he couldn't, he simply blinked at his nemesis in silence. 

Donghyuck was the first to speak. "Well, it's not very gentlemanly to not introduce myself, is it? I'm Donghyuck. It's nice to finally... properly meet you." 

Oh, how Mark wished he could say the same. He cleared his throat uncertainly, moving towards the counter where on a little yellow post it note, Ten had scribbled a few words, picked from Donghyuck's answers. Mark needed to be professional, and he was going to be. 

"So you don't know what your sister's favourite flowers are?" he said curtly. Donghyuck brushed some of his curly, messy brown hair out of his eyes before answering. Now that his eyes were in full view, Mark found he wasn't wearing any eye shadow. It didn't do much to diminish his confidence. 

"I don't. It would make this whole thing easier, I know. But I hear TENder Blooms is the best in the business. You should be able to come up with something." 

"I will," Mark concurred, going back to ignoring Donghyuck's eyes, which he could feel boring into his skull. 

"Confidence! A good shop dreams of it, but a great shop already has it. We're off to a good start," Donghyuck praised, a hint of ridicule in his voice. 

Mark tried his best not to sigh. At Donghyuck or at the situation he was in, or maybe both. "So there's no particular flower you'd like in your bouquet?" 

"Nope! As long as it's yellow and you vouch for it, that's enough for me." 

_If only you'd been this open to my opinions before_ , Mark thought to himself. Silently, he started meditating on the task at hand. He knew he needed to treat Donghyuck like any other client, if not for his sake, for his sister's. It was her graduation, after all. There were many options to choose from: roses, carnations, daffodils, calla lilies, black-eyed susans... But it had to be perfect. Mark never settled for anything else, no matter what. Even if the bouquet was for someone so infuriating as the person in front of him. 

"What's your sister like?" he asked. The question gave the other pause, unsure if Mark wanted a brief answer or was genuinely willing to hear a description. After hesitating, he seemed to decide on the latter. 

"Hm... She's kind," he began, a word said delicately. "Sweet. She lights up any room she's in. But not... she doesn't try. She doesn't act out, doesn't want to be the centre of attention. She's just... radiant, because of how kind she is. She wouldn't think twice before helping anyone with anything, even if it harmed her somehow. It's silly, I keep telling her, I keep saying she needs to take care of herself, but she's so determined, so..." He grinned, looking to the side as he imagined the girl he clearly was fond of. For the first time Mark had ever seen it, it was an honest, unhindered smile. The kind that spread to his eyes, a pure sparkle of joy. "So strong." 

Donghyuck found Mark's eyes again with that last word, still smiling. Something so unlike what his mind told him of the young man had Mark avert his gaze, blanking. "Okay," he said and fumbled under the table for some string and a pair of scissors. 

Because it sounded too final, too vague, too rude, he added afterwards, quietly, "She sounds lovely." 

Donghyuck chuckled. "She is." 

Mark had to ignore all of that, the smile, the chuckle, the warmth. Things didn't match and that wasn't something he was comfortable with. This wasn't the Donghyuck he knew - Donghyuck was cool and stylish and popular and distant and rude and cocky. Not... 

He ignored his mind, getting started on the bouquet. He'd meant it; his sister did sound lovely. Gentle, delicate, kind. Like... daisies. He grabbed a dozen small white ones, and set them on the counter. 

"Not to burst your bubble, oh mighty florist, but wasn't yellow going to be the colour we'd go with?" 

"Just shut up," Mark said hastily, focused as he was, but it felt good to let out some of his bottled feelings. Shame he couldn't see his reaction too. "And I don't know, turn around if you can't keep your comments to yourself." He heard Donghyuck snicker but eventually plop down in an armchair. 

Daisies here, a few filler limonium for a pop of soft purple, baby's breath for added continuity, greenery for rawness, and five absolutely stunning sunflowers as the centrepiece of the bouquet. Graceful, simple, but bright, happy - it was exactly like Donghyuck's description of the girl. He set everything gingerly in a basket, after which he admired his work for a moment. 

"It's done." 

At the signal, Donghyuck got up and stalked back towards the counter, that same neutral expression on his face. 

"Just tell me it's not... white..." His voice trailed off, his gaze settling on the bouquet. Or rather, flower basket. He bit his lower lip, and fixed Mark with his gaze. He kept his usual composure, but a flicker of surprise passed in his eyes. "It's not white." 

"First-rate observation, Donghyuck." 

It seemed to take everything in Donghyuck not to retort as he instead hovered a finger above the sunflowers, just barely caressing them. 

"It should hold perfectly until tomorrow morning. And afterwards, a few days, just remind your sister to change the water every now and then. Lukewarm, not cold," Mark instructed. Donghyuck watched him carefully and nodded. "And I hope you don't mind the basket." 

"Not at all." For a moment, the both of them looked thoughtful, until Donghyuck broke the silence again. "I'm sure I'm not doing society any service by inflating your ego, but it _is_ beautiful," he admitted, that shameless, hard to understand smile playing on his lips. "It really reminds me of her." 

"Must mean something, coming from you," Mark said in good humour, remembering the night they'd met, his cheeky comments.

Donghyuck stared, and his eyes slowly lost some of their attentiveness. 

"This should do," he said without any elaboration, reaching into his pocket for his wallet, and set down a card. Mark frowned - for once, he hadn't meant to say something against him. For what it was worth, he'd put together the bouquet quite happily, and was pleased with it. He was even partially wondering if there was more to Donghyuck than his initial... cockiness, but maybe his care for his sister was all there was open and gentle to him after all. 

"It'll be -" 

"Doesn't matter. I'm getting it anyway." 

Donghyuck wasn't looking at him anymore. There was impatience in his words, and Mark didn't know what to make of it. He swiped his card, handed him his flowers, and watched him head towards the door. He felt surprisingly uneasy. Perhaps guilty, though why would he? He hadn't done anything wrong. He had been diplomatic, if anything, and the flower basket was beautiful. He had no reason to feel guilty. And yet, Donghyuck's sudden coldness made him waver in his resolve.

He'd begun to expect he'd leave without a word, but Donghyuck turned around and shot him another distant grin, smaller this time. 

"Thank you." 

And with that, he walked out and left Mark in complete befuddlement. 

"Well?" Ten asked later, smirking. 

"I don't know." 

"You... don't know?" 

"I don't know." 

Was Donghyuck the detached, cocky guy he'd appeared that first night, or was it just a misunderstanding? Chenle's words, Donghyuck's bright eyes as he described his sister, even his openness to a genuine, unbiased interaction despite what Mark had done and his willingness to let him make his bouquet seemed to signal he might've been wrong. Maybe Donghyuck just... knew how to push Mark's buttons. Maybe first impressions weren't as reliable as you'd think. But then why had he left like that? 

Mark was left to ponder these things every time he wasn't putting together flower arrangements. At one point, he even realised he hadn't made a note for the bouquet - or even asked Donghyuck to write one. 

But evening the next day, Chenle walked in positively radiating. "Hyung! News!" 

"News?" 

"I was told to hand you this," Chenle said, pressing a small piece of paper in the older's hand and leaving to join Taeyong, his unofficial mentor among the employees. Mark had to wait out a few clients before he was able to read it. The note simply said _"Sehyun loved it ~"_ in black ink, the handwriting sort of shaky, like the pen had been intentionally held tighter to make the writing more intelligible. 

Sehyun...? He didn't know any... 

It dawned on him then, and his eyes shot to the shop across the street. Donghyuck wasn't anywhere visible, but Mark could still imagine the cocky smile he would have graced him with if he had been. Unable to suppress it, Mark's lips curled into a similar one, and for just a moment he forgot how confused he was supposed to be, even more so that he'd once been furious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chenle's the only one who calls the others hyungs just because he's... chenle. I couldn't get rid of that, I don't even know why but it sounds so affectionate when he says it, so here we are


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which a series of accidental meetings has mark rethink a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you thought mark was confused last chapter then you should see him now, but it's not all that bad
> 
> also, I posted an unedited draft of this chapter by mistake yesterday and my heart quite nearly jumped out of my chest :')

"It's perfect, stop worrying, Tennie," Taeyong said, patting the other's back warmly. "You know everyone loves your art." 

"Tae... but it's so different from my usual style, how can I not worry?" Ten said, and his voice came out a bit strained. 

"As long as you didn't draw it differently just to impress him, you haven't compromised anything and it's fine. You didn't, did you?" 

"Of course not! It just... came out like this. Artistic flow I guess." 

"Or a certain muse," Taeyong said, laughing softly. 

They were standing by a table in the living room upstairs, looking down at something intently, backs turned to him when Mark came in. "What's this about?" he asked, approaching them. There wasn't such a thing as interrupting at TENder Blooms. Everyone's business was everyone else's business. There were exceptions, of course, but they knew each other well enough to know when one of them wasn't comfortable speaking about something. Usually, though, conversation flowed freely between them, like among family. 

There was a framed drawing on the table, bearing Ten's signature. It was... abstract, fragments and pieces brought together by the same black ink pen. Among them, a raven, a kaleidoscope of butterflies, some seashells, all incorporated into something akin to a cloud, on a painted background reminiscent of a sunrise, golds and pastel pink and orange. Even with the multitude of details, it felt light and vast, unlike his usual drawings. It was hard to describe, but Ten's art always awoke feelings deep in those who regarded it. Mark felt his own lips slip into a smile. 

"Ten drew Johnny something, since he'd asked to see his art," Taeyong explained. "He's just flustered and doesn't want to give it to him anymore." 

Ten rewarded his appreciation of the situation with a nudge to the ribs. 

"Oh, then go for it, Ten. It's one of your best yet. The details on this... it's mad," Mark urged. It would have been a waste not to hang a work of art like that up somewhere. Ten averted his eyes, beaming. He'd never been very good at taking compliments, no matter how confident he usually appeared.

"Okay, but I can't just... _go_ and gift it to him! That's so weird!" 

"Tennie, he's the one who came up with the idea..." 

"And it's not like there's any other way to go about it, anyway," Mark added. At that, his friend's eyes lit up. He grabbed him by the arm, grinning up at him like he'd had a life altering epiphany. At the same time, he took the drawing and thrust it into Mark's hands. 

"Mark! That's genius! _You_ should give it to him!" 

Mark's jaw dropped. "Me?! What? I didn't say that and it doesn't even make any-" 

"No no, it's brilliant! I drew it but you brought it to him! It's casual, it won't seem like a big deal and he won't look deeper into it and everything will be fine!" It was, perhaps, an idea equally as silly as Mark's lock picking plan. If anything, he'd end up looking like he was embarrassed and make Johnny suspicious. And anyway, what reason did he have to be wary around Johnny? He was possibly the chillest and most understanding person Mark had ever met. Also, since when was Ten anything less than brave? 

All of these arguments went unheard, even with Taeyong's cooperation, and eventually Mark had no choice but to give in. 

"Oh my God, fine, I'll entertain your high school crush. What do I even say?" 

Taeyong stopped Ten before he could speak, as if he knew he would come up with more bad ideas. "Just that Ten's a bit busy right now, but he finished the drawing and really wanted to send it as soon as possible," he said, both fond and partly exasperated. 

Mark truly couldn't believe what task he'd been assigned, but in the past month it had become clear to everyone who knew him that Ten genuinely cared for Johnny, hence his uncharacteristic bashfulness. Mark understood and could honestly sympathise, so he went along with something as silly as this to help - though it didn't feel much like helping. Soon enough, he entered Funky Pluckers, and was surprised to find it empty. No clients, acceptable given Funky Pluckers never had too many costumers in the early hours of the day, but more importantly, no Johnny, Donghyuck, or even the tall, lanky Xuxi guy. Strange. 

Since he couldn't just leave the drawing there, Mark approached the counter and waited with a sigh. Why didn't they have a call bell? He really needed to give them some pointers to running a shop. 

Just then, he heard a voice coming from the back room. 

"Haeun? What's wrong?" it said, clearly worried. "Are you crying? Talk to me." 

Of course it had to be Donghyuck. He didn't hear anyone else, so he was probably talking on the phone. After that time he'd bought flowers for his sister's graduation, their interactions had mostly stopped. Mark wasn't as bothered as he'd been initially - the music wasn't grating his nerves anymore, and their last exchange had been more or less civil. He still didn't necessarily have much love for him, but he no longer huffed and puffed and glared. Things had gone back to normal. Donghyuck could take care of his own shop, while Mark took care of his, living their own parallel lives. 

"They what?! But they promised-" Donghyuck exclaimed, pausing to hear more explanations. His voice sounded... pained. 

Mark shuffled awkwardly on his feet. He didn't think it was right to eavesdrop, but what would Ten say if he were to return? Considering how he'd been lately, there was a chance he'd end up never giving Johnny the drawing, and that wasn't right either. He cleared his throat loudly as to announce his presence, but Donghyuck continued his conversation. 

"Haeun, this is absurd! They... everyone knows Sehyun has wanted to be a psychologist since middle school. It's her dream! They can't just... just take that away from her!" 

Sehyun? The sister who'd recently graduated? 

"I've always told her to stand her ground against them, Haeun..." he continued, and Mark heard him walking back and forth with heavy steps. "You what?" A pause. " _She_ doesn't want to hurt _them_? Why is it that we're always the ones thinking about their feelings, but they never care about ours? No, I know, but... No, Haeun... No, she deserves better than some parents who think they know everything and who're pushing their own ideals down her throat. You do too." 

So it was their parents who were giving them a hard time. Mark gulped, knowing how much his own parents' support had helped him throughout university and especially afterwards. They'd always listened, given good advice and supported him during his dark times - both financially and emotionally. He couldn't imagine how his life would have turned out had they been different. 

Quieter, so much so that Mark nearly couldn't hear it, Donghyuck said, "Yeah... It's too late for me." Mark found himself wondering what was. "I'll talk to her tonight, okay? Just... yeah. You try to cheer her up if you can, okay? Yeah. Alright, Haeun. Later." 

As he ended the phone call, he groaned. The next moment, he was marching into the shop, distressed but resolute. "Johnny, you won't believe-" 

He stopped in his tracks right as his eyes landed on Mark, and his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. Mark just stared, feeling guilty and concerned and awkward and pitiful. Donghyuck ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair, letting out a deep breath, like he had no idea what to do anymore. 

"Mark? Where's Johnny?" After a moment's thought, he added, "Why're you here?" 

"I, uh..." He pointed at the drawing. "I was just bringing him something, but he wasn't here, so I..." Waited and heard your private conversation, he didn't say, but Donghyuck understood. He nodded his head impatiently. 

"So you heard?" 

"Uh... Yeah. I didn't mean to!" he added when he saw the frost in Donghyuck's eyes. "I tried to get your attention, but I guess you just thought I was Johnny. I couldn't... well I couldn't leave, or stop you from talking either." 

To be frank, Mark felt bad. Not just for eavesdropping, but also for... Donghyuck. The conversation had clearly affected him: it was in his unfocused eyes, his grim expression and his mess of a hair. He looked discomposed, which, in his approximately one month of knowing him (and he would see him out the window most days), Mark had never seen. That, and he'd usually been so hard to read. And Mark, stubbornness or not, was sensitive to people's emotions. But how can you ask a stranger, or rather a person you'd aggravated and been aggravated by multiple times, to talk to you? As what, really? They weren't friends. What if Donghyuck would think he was asking just to make fun of him? 

Donghyuck sighed. "Never mind. It's fine. I'll get Johnny for you," he said, despondent. It was as if he didn't have the energy for an argument.

That worried Mark further. _To hell with it_ , he thought, drawing in a deep breath. Just as Donghyuck turned around to leave, he said, "Hey. Do... do you want to talk about it?" 

The boy faced him again, a frown creasing his forehead. "What?" 

Mark bit his lower lip. He tried his best not to avoid his gaze, or else he'd appear even more insincere. His free hand was hanging awkwardly by his side, so he shoved it in his pocket. Since he'd started this, he might as well finish. 

"Are you okay?" he asked again, awkward but gentle, because that seemed like the better question. 

As his chest filled with dread, he was only met with silence. Donghyuck's lips had parted slightly, and he was watching him with an unidentifiable emotion on his face. 

"It's just... Look, I know we're not on like... great terms... but I..." Mark tried, but Donghyuck cut him off. 

"No, we're not. Didn't you hate me or something?" 

Mark winced at the words. He didn't _hate_ him, not really. Maybe he had, for a few days, but in the end, he hardly knew him, and after all, everyone was telling him they'd both been in the wrong. To what extent... who's to say? Either way, whatever tension there was between them, Donghyuck looked lost and upset and just very, very exhausted, and Mark... well, he had to ask, at least.

"No, I..." How was he to say that after the way he'd acted? "I don't hate you," he said, quiet. This time, he actually lowered his gaze. "But I meant it," he continued, awkward still, "The question, that is. Are you... okay? That sounded rough." 

Maybe because he was tired enough already, Donghyuck sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I guess. It's not a big deal." 

Mark searched his face with an arched eyebrow, but didn't dare press for more. It wasn't his place. Donghyuck must've noticed his disbelief, because he continued with a grimace. "It's just family stuff. Sehyun, maybe you remember her, well, she's... in a tough spot." 

"Because of your parents?" 

"Yeah," Donghyuck admitted, crossing his arms, probably to bring himself some comfort. A sudden idea seemed to strike him. "Listen, do you, uh..." 

"Do I what?" Mark urged. 

"Do you think everyone should choose their own career, job, profession, whatever? Have it be their choice?" 

There really was only one answer to that. "Of course. It's their life, it's up to them how they live it," he said. "But I do think that other people's input helps. You might not always know just where you're headed, so... Yeah. I know I didn't for a long time when I was in high school, but some people's ideas really helped during that time. And after uni..." He stopped, unsure if it was a conversation to have with Donghyuck. It wasn't what he had asked, anyway. "Whatever the case, it's your path to walk." 

Donghyuck nodded. "But no one should ever push a job onto you, right?" 

"No, of course not. Input's one thing, imposing another. Why? Is that's what's happening to your sister?" 

Donghyuck stayed quiet and that was answer enough. 

"Oh. I'm sorry, Donghyuck," he said, earnest. The apology caught the other's attention, and his frown grew. It made Mark feel very little, despite their similar height. 

"You're a very strange person, Mark," he said, but it wasn't hurtful. He just sounded confused. "But thanks for that, I guess. I'll be fine." 

"Well, if you need someone to talk to... Maybe... Uh, I suppose..." he trailed off, the irony behind the suggestion not getting lost on him. Donghyuck was right, he was a very strange person indeed. He'd gone from breaking and entering to offering his help, and what's worse, it was entirely honest. He didn't expect Donghyuck to believe him, but he just... he couldn't stop himself from saying it, as awkward and fragmented and wanting as it had been. He had to go around caring about everyone's feelings, didn't he? 

Donghyuck laughed then, airy and unbelieving and a little bit hysteric. He seemed slightly less distressed, though, which meant something, at least. 

"Cool, Mark," he said, shaking his head in what Mark believed to be amusement. "I'll think about it." 

"Oh, um. You do that." Well this wasn't awkward at all, was it? Mark's recent existence really was a mess, but for once he couldn't blame Donghyuck for it. He was the one who'd gone around asking deep, silly questions. "And I hope she's okay. Or will be, once this blows off." 

That drew a soft smile from Donghyuck.

"Yeah. I hope so too." 

After, Johnny came downstairs as per Donghyuck's instruction. He ruffled Mark's hair when he saw him (did it even make sense that both Ten and him liked ruffling his hair?) and his face lit up from end to end when he was handed the drawing. He made Mark promise to give Ten his thanks and compliments, as if it wouldn't have been easier to do it himself. Mark just accepted both Ten and Johnny deserved one another - he'd never seen two people more different yet so very similar, nor two bigger dorks around one another, despite their usual confidence.

But throughout the exchange, Mark found it difficult not to focus on Donghyuck, who was dusting some guitars, not really paying attention. He seemed okay, but he'd learnt that wasn't much to go by when it came to him. In spite of himself, Mark hoped things would work out for him. 

The next time he saw him, just a few days later, it hadn't been intentional - at least not on his part. 

Chenle had pestered him for days to accompany him to a gig in a small, obscure pub across town. He wouldn't relent, and his pleading even touched Taeyong, who began trying to convince him too. Thus, Mark had to agree. He didn't mind, really. It had been a long time since he'd done something fun and "youthful", as Chenle put it, on a Saturday night. He also enjoyed Chenle's company - he'd always treated him as the younger brother he didn't have, and was happy to find that Chenle also seemed to look up to him. How was he not to care about Chenle, when he was as sunny, pure and genuinely good as he was? 

As they left late and got struck in traffic, they arrived to an already mostly full pub, lit with some makeshift lights, red and orange, a show in and of its own. A three man band was playing some indie songs on a remarkably small stage - if it could even be called that - while Mark looked for a place to watch the show from and Chenle disappeared to get them drinks. The seats in the corner of the room were almost deserted; it seemed people preferred to be closer to the stage. Mark wasn't that type of person, though, so he saved two for himself and Chenle, far from the action but with a good view. 

The pub was average, not standing out in any particular way, but it was clean and laid back and it offered people a break from their busy lives, a break to enjoy. Live music had brought together people of all ages, most in their 20s and 30s, but Mark noticed the odd octogenarian or the sixteen year olds who were trying hard to appear much older. Clapping and cheering, dancing along to the music, talking among themselves... it was a good crowd, small as it might have been. 

"I knew you'd choose the least crowded place, hyung," Chenle said as he sat down next to him, two garish glasses in his hands. "They legit only had cider and ginger beer, so choose." 

"Cider, then?" 

"Great! I wanted the ginger beer anyway," he said, handing Mark the beverage. Bringing it to his lips, he smiled at the taste. It was a favourite in his family, and he'd grown to love it. It reminded him of home.

"How does this work, anyway? Is it just one act, or more people performing?" Mark asked. 

Chenle's eyes sparkled like he knew more than he was willing to say, though maybe it was just a reflection of the lights. "More. You'll see, hyung. I like these guys, though. The girl's voice is very emotional." 

"Mhm. The guys' vocals are pretty great too." 

A few songs and a couple of Chenle's stories later, the band left the stage and a woman announced the arrival of another singer. "Some of you probably already know this next one! He's made a name for himself around the city over the years, but he's still humble enough to grace us with his presence from time to time, and we're grateful to him for it. Please give a warm welcome to... Haechan!" 

A wave of applause followed, some merely polite, but many enthusiastic. Mark found that Chenle was one of the latter. 

"Wohoo!!" he cheered. Catching Mark's surprised expression, he crimsoned. "Sorry. But I bet you'll love him too." 

Whether Mark loved him or not was the last thing on his mind, though, when Haechan actually walked, or more like sprinted on stage. Gaping, he wondered if he'd missed some sort of punchline. Maybe his hearing was beginning to weaken. However, his eyes couldn't mistake him for anyone else. Indeed, in all his debonair glory, Donghyuck, _the_ Donghyuck, was on stage, grinning at the audience, his sparkly dark moss green shirt making him shine like an actual star. 

"Chenle?..." he began, but Donghyuck was one step ahead. 

"What's up, everyone?" he spoke into the mic, more radiant than ever. It was a combination of the red hues bouncing off the stage around him, the way his own eyes glistened with them, and the brilliant grin on his face, daring but insouciant. If he looked comfortable in the guitar shop, he looked even more at home here. "It's always great to be here with you. I've got a few special songs prepared for tonight! Let me know if you know this one." 

Describing Donghyuck's voice was a difficult task. It was quite different from his speaking voice, much more high pitched. Light, clear, cheery, velvety, agile... all of these words fit, yet it was less about describing it, and more about... feeling it. Mark couldn't imagine a person alive wouldn't feel completely enveloped by every note, every change of pitch. Donghyuck carried the notes with ease, as if singing was the single most facile, most habitual, most natural thing to do. But what really struck Mark was how, unlike his usual way of being, detached and unreadable, his voice was honest. Every word seemed meaningful, and Mark... again, Mark was just confused. 

The first few songs were fun and fast paced and Mark found himself slightly moving to the music. At some point, he caught Chenle looking at him excitedly. 

"What?" he asked. 

"Nothing," Chenle said, shrugged. "I told you you'd love him." 

Mark shook his head in surrender. Donghyuck _did_ have a great voice. 

When it was time for the last song, Donghyuck's smile waned. 

"Now this one's a personal favourite and I've wanted to perform it for a long time, but y'know, sometimes you get nervous and you chicken out!" The audience laughed. "But I hope I do it justice," he said, running a finger over the strings of his guitar almost tenderly, and began singing. 

Mark knew the song: Human by Of Monsters and Men. The original was powerful enough, but as a guitar solo, substantially slowed down, with Donghyuck's voice guiding it carefully, quietly, almost like he was singing a lullaby, it was even more bittersweet. It came entirely from the heart, with a vulnerable, sad trace to the words. His eyes had fluttered shut, as he dove into his own world, seemingly far away. Mark would have done the same, had he been able to tear his eyes away from Donghyuck. 

He couldn't help but notice the vulnerability, the rawness. It transformed Donghyuck. All that he was now was a vessel for the song and, Mark felt, perhaps presumptuously, his own emotions. 

Once he finished, Donghyuck - and, like a spell, the audience too - took in a deep breath, letting it go steadily. When he opened his eyes, they didn't match the charming smile that had since appeared on his face. 

"Thank you. You've all been great. Have an amazing rest of the night!" he said and left the stage with a quick bow. 

Mark clapped along with the crowd, perhaps a bit dazed. 

Just how many sides of Donghyuck was he going to see? And really... what was he supposed to make of him? 

He didn't have much time to ponder on it, because Chenle jumped from the chair and stood in front of Mark, beaming. 

"What did you think? It was dope, wasn't it? Hyuck-hyung's voice is just... _Ah!!_ Stunning! So unique!" he said, gesturing passionately. 

Mark threw a questioning look up at him. "You knew he was going to perform, didn't you? That's why you insisted I come?" 

Chenle blushed and returned to his seat, grabbing onto his arm like a koala, head pressed to his shoulder, eyes staring at him endearingly.

"You're not upset, are you hyung? I asked Hendery-hyung and he said you two weren't on bad terms anymore." Well, supposedly they weren't, but how would Hendery know? "He said you're not glaring every time you see him anymore." Oh. Right. That's as good an explanation as any. "You're both really great and I like, wanted you to, I don't know, see him perform? He's very talented, isn't he? You're not upset, are you-" 

Mark patted his arm in consolation. "It's okay, Chenle. It was nice of you to think of something like this, don't worry." 

"Oh, thank gosh, I was so-" 

"Lele!" 

They both turned towards the call, only to find Donghyuck with his arms wide open in front of them. 

"Hyung!" Chenle cried. An eye's blink later, he was already hugging him tightly. "That was amazing! You did awesome!" 

"You always hype me up so much, Lele," Donghyuck said, poking his side. 

"Because you deserve it!" 

Mark waited awkwardly, glancing between the two and the stage, where a girl was singing about love or destiny or something. 

"Oh, right!" Chenle said, unwrapping himself from Donghyuck and pulling Mark up by the hand. "Donghyuck, Mark. Mark, Donghyuck." 

Donghyuck chuckled. "We know each other, Lele. Don't we, Mark? Quite well, actually." 

...Well that was debatable. Chenle answered before he could, though. "I know, I know, I just thought you should start anew. No more thefts and... silly stuff. Right, Mark?" 

"...Right." 

Donghyuck nodded and made a 'it's already in the past' gesture. "Well then, Mark, what did you think of my performance?" 

"It was... really nice," he said, biting his lower lip. It was true, of course, just not fully so. He thought it had been amazing. He thought his voice was one of a kind and his song choices (which were surprisingly not rock) great. He thought he'd known how to interact with the crowd and how to make them smile. He thought Human especially had been... truly special. Honest. Of course he had no way of saying that, though. 

But just because _he_ couldn't, it didn't mean Chenle couldn't. 

"Don't be silly! He loved it. He was in a trance the entire last song, I saw it with my own eyes! He was even more invested in it than I was," he said, bouncing up and down in joy. The joy of embarrassing Mark, clearly. 

It was a common enough occurrence to want to be swallowed up by the earth beneath him when around Donghyuck, but he'd never felt it more acutely than then, as Donghyuck simpered and rested a hand on his shoulder amiably. 

"Well that's unexpected. Does that mean I did right by Human?"

Faced with such a direct question, Mark didn't hesitate. "Definitely," he said seriously, surprising himself as well as Donghyuck. "It felt... personal. I'm guessing it was?"

He meant, in part, the conversation he'd heard by chance not long before. It might've been Chenle's influence, but Donghyuck seemed somewhat more approachable, which Mark took as initiative to subtly ask if he was okay. It was a question that'd been on his mind the past few days.

"Perhaps so," he opted to say, a safe road. He held Mark's gaze for a moment though, which Mark felt was an affirmative answer. With a smirk, he added, "What're you looking to do with this sort of information, Mark? Blackmail? Leverage for our future meetings?"

Mark noted how he avoided the subject but went along with it. "Didn't we just agree to leave all that in the past, Donghyuck?"

"Indeed! But are you going to hold to that?"

"I don't know. Are _you_?"

"You _both_ are," Chenle said firmly, unaware they were just teasing. "You're not two, hyungs." 

"I say we are. Me, one, Mark, two," Donghyuck said, counting on his fingers. He then flaunted them in front of Chenle as the younger pushed them away with a pout. Donghyuck just laughed. "What? They're two, aren't they? No, Mark?"

"Yeah. Two for sure," he said. He couldn't help himself from having fun at Chenle's expense, for once; it was too often the other way around.

"See! It's _two_ against one, so who wins?" 

"Gosh, I take it back, you really are two." With a grimace, Chenle continued before Donghyuck could poke fun at him further, "Years old." 

This time, Mark burst into laughter too, stealing a glance at Donghyuck as if to say 'well played'. The other bowed his head in mock courtesy. He then embraced Chenle from behind, even as the younger tried to break free. After a beat, he stopped; hugs were his biggest weakness, after all. 

"Oh Lele, we're just messing around. Don't get in a sweat about it. Mark and I were teasing. You have to admit it's a bit funny to reminisce on how we experienced something like that, let's call it a speakers theft, so soon after we'd met." 

"Or because we'd met," Mark corrected. 

"Ha, Mark.. Are you still sullen because of the music thing?" 

"Perhaps so," Mark said, feeling coy, using the other's retort against him. Donghyuck rewarded him with a chuckle. 

"Touché!" 

Meanwhile, Chenle rolled his eyes at them, watching curiously. Just then, there was a sudden reverberation and all three turned towards the stage, where the speakers were making shrill, deafening noises. They covered their ears while the owner of the pub ran over to the back to unplug them. Minutes later, dejected, he apologised, revealing he knew no any way of fixing them. He suggested the last act sing without a microphone, but his offer was rejected. 

As the crowd began dispersing, Donghyuck gasped.

"This reminds me! I need to talk to the owner about something. I'll leave first," he said. He squeezed Chenle's cheeks and grinned at him. "Thanks for cheering me on, Lele. Don't be cross with my teasing, yeah?" 

Chenle shook his head wildly. "'Course not, hyung! Do you want me to wait for you?" 

"Nah, I might be a while. Go home and rest." He then caught Mark's eyes, interest evident deep in his own, and he appeared to momentarily consider something. "Huh... Hey Mark, do you want to come tomorrow too? I have another gig close to our shops. Lele can give you the details. I have a few cool songs prepared. And, who knows... maybe I'll sing Human again." 

Mark frowned at the sudden offer, but found himself nodding before he'd even made up his mind. 

"Great! Then, tomorrow it is. And Lele, take care. Sleep early!" Donghyuck said, waving at them as they started walking in different directions. 

Before dropping Chenle over at his place, Mark thought of something.

"Uh, Chenle? You're coming tomorrow too, right?" 

"Huh? I can't, hyung. My parents always make sure I focus on my studies on Sundays, you know that." Mark paled, only then realising what he'd agreed to. "But like, don't worry, I'll give you the address! I'm sure it'll be awesome!" 

Awesome. That's just Mark's luck. 

Mark wasn't one to go back on his word, regardless who he'd given it to or how reluctant he was to go through with his promise. So, half dreading, half excited, he went to the pub Chenle had pointed him to, found another more secluded seat, even chatted with a couple people, and listened to Donghyuck - or was it Haechan? - perform another six songs. 

Seeing him sing in a more refined pub made Mark question why he didn't do this for a living. Apparently he'd been doing gigs for a while anyway, and he was clearly talented, so why not make an actual career out of it? Sign up with a record label, release his own music? He'd easily make it big. Talent aside, he had the confidence, skill of interacting with people, and perhaps mysterious aura, that were distinctive celebrity material.

For Mark, though, it wasn't his voice itself that enraptured him. Indeed, it was beautiful and he could listen to it again and again, but what struck him was how it made him feel he was receiving a glance inside, behind the apparent curtains he'd drawn, behind the inaccessibility, the witty remarks. It helped that every song had weighty lyrics, whether it was lively or sad. And, unexpectedly, he also sang Human again. This time, for the first few seconds, a playful smile played on his lips. 

After he finished, he approached Mark immediately, guitar strapped to his back. He rested his arms on his hips, tilted his head, and spoke impishly: "So you came!" 

Mark rolled his eyes at the statement. "Were you expecting me not to?"

"Honestly? I didn't really know what to expect. You're such a mystery, aren't you Mark?"

An enigma was standing in front of him, indecipherable smile on his face, and he was calling Mark mysterious. He nearly scoffed. 

"Or perhaps not," Donghyuck said, wagging a finger at his forehead. "That frown says so much, you wouldn't even believe. Your face really is fascinating to watch. So many emotions, no? Though I'd say you oscillate between anger and confusion. And some sort of sneer, too." 

Mark's eyes widened. _No, that just proves his point! _he thought frantically. He tried to train his expression to a neutral one, but it only made Donghyuck cackle.__

____

"Mark... at least you tried. I've never seen a more peeved non-expression in my life."

____

Upon hearing that, Mark let his muscles relax. He wasn't going to win no matter what he did, evidently. "You make it really hard to stand you, you know that?"

____

"Ah, but that's the fun thing, that you couldn't stand me almost instantly," he said. He gave Mark a boyish smile. "I'll try to be less exasperating, just tell me what to do. What's the secret?"

____

Stop being evasive, infuriatingly distant, detached and unreachable? Don't act cocky and superior and arrogant? Think about others, not just yourself? That's what Mark would have answered a month ago, but after the past week, he found he couldn't make himself say the words. In fact, he found he didn't fully believe any of those things anymore. They seemed like rushed impressions, outlines he'd drawn based on... what, actually? Perhaps he'd latched onto some things that had irked him and, in his anger, exaggerated them. Whether they were right or not, he'd now begun thinking that, at the very least, he couldn't blame Donghyuck anymore.

____

Who had been arrogant and brash and acted all-knowing? Who'd stolen someone's property, which was clearly a more problematic thing to do than playing music too loud? Who'd acted the exact way he had accused someone else of doing? Mark, of course. 

____

With the realisation came shame. He didn't know how to answer him. He felt he needed to be serious, but he couldn't think of anything. 

____

Donghyuck waited a moment, then his expression softened. Maybe he'd seen everything he needed on Mark's face, yet again. 

____

"Never mind that. I'll just do my best. C'mon, let's go get something to eat," he said, grabbing Mark by the forearm and towing him after him.

____

Before Mark could even complain or wonder where the idea of dining together had come from, they were outside. Donghyuck shivered at the chilly breeze. It was a rather cold day, despite the time of the year. The day's last few rays of sunlight didn't bring much comfort, but they did bathe the street in a warm shade of gold. 

____

"Hmph. Why is it chilly on a summer day? Where should we go?" 

____

"We were in a pub before you dragged us outside, you know," Mark said, deadpan. 

____

"Yes yes, but Mrs Watts is the most charitable lady to grace the Earth. If we stay, she'll insist we eat for free. I've been singing here this past year, so she seems to have taken a liking to me." 

____

"And how is that bad in any way?" 

____

Donghyuck's usual smile didn't change, but he did shoot Mark a theatrical eyebrow raise. "It's not nice leeching off of people, Mark." 

____

"It's not leeching if she loves you, is it?" 

____

If Donghyuck had been about to disagree, he never got around to it. "There!" he exclaimed, eyes lit up. Having grabbed Mark's forearm again, they crossed the street, dodging two cars as they went. If not for his recent pick locking experience still being quite vivid in his mind, Mark would have accused Donghyuck of being rash and reckless and frowned some more. As it were, he decided to overlook it. Chenle was right, this much frowning and he'd end up looking fifty by the time he was thirty. 

____

What Donghyuck had spotted was an old fashioned crêperie. He took one look at Mark as if to ask for his opinion, and the latter offered a nonchalant shrug. It had to be warm inside, and the smell was definitely tempting. They sat down at a black wood table for two near the window and ordered a sweet and a savory crêpe each, deciding it was as good a time as any to expand their culinary horizons. Or so Donghyuck had said. 

____

Once their order arrived, Donghyuck grinned at him. Mark found he wasn't quite sure what to make of it: the grin or the situation he was in. 

____

"Uh. You did good tonight. The songs were very different from yesterday's," Mark said just to break the silence. Since they'd reached this point anyway, the least he could do was try to... loosen up. "I didn't think you'd sing Human again. You said it... didn't come easy." 

____

"Sure. But I told you I'd sing it. Couldn't back down from that, could I?" Donghyuck said between a mouthful of food. 

____

"You sang it because I was there?" 

____

Donghyuck hummed. "You were quite far from the stage, but I saw you pretty early on," he said, a non answer. "You really liked Human. Why?" 

____

"I think it's... different?" Mark began. "The lyrics always got to me, even though I don't necessarily relate to them. Let the human in... that part sounds so heartbreaking. I think there's something special about songs like that. You can't really explain it, right? Besides, your guitar version was very clever." 

____

"Clever? I didn't sing it to be clever," Donghyuck said. The comment had clearly made him retreat into himself, mould into his aloof persona, and Mark had to chuckle. 

____

"That's not what I meant. It just made it more... potent? I liked it a lot. Don't get upset, you said we were past that," he teased. "I didn't mean to pick on you because of it, I know it's a personal song." 

____

"Do you now?" 

____

Mark sighed, ignoring his tone and twirling a piece of pancake around his fork instead. His eyes skirred the establishment. French music at a pleasant volume created a relaxing atmosphere in the dim lit shop, and the chatter of the costumers blended to create the much needed buzz around them. It was a perfect balance between calm and lively. 

____

"I see you like this kind of place?" Donghyuck said, claiming Mark's attention again with the change of subject. He never talked too much about Human, did he? Mark cleared his throat and nodded. 

____

"Yeah. I've never been about too much noise, but ever since I started working at TENder Blooms, I guess it's made me like this kind of environment even more. Ten's very particular about the music he listens to, and the kind of character the shop has. Well? Don't you like it?" 

____

"I do, I do," Donghyuck said, smiling. There was a nostalgic curl to his lip. "But I'm used to racket too. After all, I did grow up with two younger sisters. They say boys are loud, but you should have heard them! I was told I was a chatterbox as a child, but I bet anyone who met them had to rethink that. They hardly ever shut up. At least not Haeun. She's the youngest." 

____

"So growing up with younger siblings made you like rock?" Mark asked, only after realising how youthful and ridiculous of a question it was. Music preferences had nothing to do with something like that. He could blame it on the incredibly outlandish circumstances he'd been thrust into, and was currently unable to escape. 

____

"Rock's not racket, Mark!" Donghyuck laughed, short but loud. "But I get what you mean, I guess. We did go... _a bit_ overboard with the volume. Still, rock and noise have nothing to do with one another. Why? Does you liking chill music mean you grew up without younger siblings?" 

____

Mark felt his cheeks heat up. "Well, no, but... it's true I don't have siblings. Young or old." 

____

Donghyuck very dramatically pressed a hand to his chest and gasped. It was even more goofy than Ten's similar gesture. _This guy..._ , Mark thought, _he acts all dandy but then becomes as much of a child as Chenle_. It made his lips curl upwards in spite of himself. 

____

"You're an only child? That's horrible!" 

____

Mark's smile grew unconsciously. "It was lonely sometimes, but I had friends. It was alright." 

____

"Still! My sisters were the best part of my childhood. It's odd thinking about growing up without them." 

____

That joyous smile Donghyuck had shown him when describing Sehyun flashed before his eyes, and he compared it to the relaxed one he wore now. It wasn't forced or hollow, but compared to that one, it might not even have been called a smile. 

____

"You really love your sisters, don't you?" he asked. He was curious to know more, and, if he was truthful... maybe he wanted to see that smile again. 

____

For a moment, Donghyuck hesitated and his eyes lingered on Mark's. Whatever he found in them soothed his uncertainty. "I do. They're... I guess..." He let out a breath. "They're the best thing in my life, maybe. Singing, too, but they're not the same. I grew up with them... or they grew up with me. I want them to be happy. I've always wanted that." 

____

"It sounds like you three have a very strong bond. Are you close in age?" 

____

"Not really. There's a similar age gap between each of us, but that just means Haeun is almost ten years younger than me." 

____

Ten years! Mark didn't always do well around people much older or younger than him. He liked children and old people, but that felt different. Donghyuck noted his surprise. 

____

"You make it so obvious you're a single child, Mark," he said, leaning back in his chair, crossing one leg over his knee and smirking. "It's not a big deal. You learn more about the world. Generations, new trends, stuff like that. And she knows her big brother will fight anyone who hurts her." 

____

Mark gaped at him in horror. 

____

"Chill!" Donghyuck placated with a quick hand wave, his laughter rekindled. "I haven't fought anyone! ...For her, anyway. But just knowing something like that scares some bullies away. Anyway, she's a strong girl, she can take care of herself. She has this aura about her, kind of like... respect worthy? It's hard to describe. She's very mature and responsible, the kind of person people can rely on. I don't think many would want to bully her." 

____

Mark found it fascinating how Donghyuck could talk so freely about his sisters, and yet come up with witty remarks to thwart inquiries about himself. Oh, that reminded him! 

____

"Wait... if she's ten years younger, and Sehyun just graduated, how old are you?" 

____

"You know, Mark, most people begin their friendships with that very question! It's been a month and we don't even know how old the other is!" Donghyuck joked. Mark had to roll his eyes in amusement. 

____

"I didn't even know your name for ages, this isn't surprising. But... friendship?" 

____

Donghyuck dropped his chin in his hands, eyeing Mark with a coy expression. He clicked his tongue. "I'm twenty four. What about you, Mark?" 

____

Best way to get something out of Donghyuck: ask something even more personal about him. He'll retreat to the previous question. 

____

"Almost twenty five," Mark said. 

____

"I wouldn't have guessed you're just one year older. You do really like frowning around me, you know? It ages you." 

____

Mark rolled his eyes again and returned to his food, but then remembered he hadn't asked what he'd meant to. 

____

"Donghyuck... Sehyun, is she okay?" 

____

The younger's fork froze mid air. He avoided Mark's eyes. "Why do you want to know?" 

____

Why did he, indeed? Because he cared, he wanted to say, but that sounded melodramatic. But he did, didn't he? The question was why? He hated how he alternated between wanting to sigh in exasperation at Donghyuck's guts and genuinely wanting to know more. Caring? Whatever it was. It was absurd regardless of how he chose to describe it. 

____

"I did tell you you could talk to me if you needed to," he said instead. 

____

Unexpected to Mark, the corners of Donghyuck's eyes shone with... sadness. Like a chilly, frozen lake, but there was more Mark couldn't discern. "How do we keep reaching this point, Mark?" 

____

Mark frowned, stunned by the fragility in his voice. "What point?" 

____

"A point in our conversation that seems unrelated to the rest." His eyes weren't leaving Mark's, but they weren't really looking at him either. 

____

"What do you mean? We were talking about siblings-" 

____

"Not that. That night, the first time, we were talking. I talk to a lot of people every day, I know how to do it. It doesn't usually mean much. But you didn't like that. You got angry. You didn't like me at all. I honestly didn't know what to do with it, so I just decided to be angry too. The second time, you broke into my shop, but despite how I caught you, despite our repartee, you stood your ground in the end. Do people usually do that? Despite everything? The third time, at your shop, I ended up talking about my sister. I don't often talk about them, not really. Not like that, I think. Then you heard me talking to Haeun, asked me if I was okay, and I also asked you for your opinion. I didn't know you, I still don't, but I did. And you came to my gig, and liked Human.. you even sensed it might have something to do with what you'd eavesdropped, didn't you? You keep insinuating it. And came again, and now here we are, and we're talking about my sisters again. I told you more about them than I tell most people, yet you want to know even more. And I... do I mind? I don't think I do." 

____

Mark listened quietly, feeling a suffocating feeling pressing down on his chest. Donghyuck wasn't saying much, but why did it feel like he was confessing something utterly mortifying, unbelievably important? 

____

"Isn't it strange? Aren't our interactions always strange? Or is it just you that's strange?" he finished, a little breathless. 

____

"I... I don't think so," Mark said, but he wondered if that was true. He didn't know what Donghyuck meant or what he was actually thinking, but he too was left properly puzzled by all of the times they'd met. That, and he couldn't make out much about Donghyuck himself, not always. 

____

Having said that, he did feel some sort of pull towards him. It made no sense to him, but as fragments of a bigger picture kept presenting themselves to him, he just... He didn't know what he wanted. To decipher him or to simply understand him? Somehow, he felt there was a distinct difference between the two. 

____

"Really?" Donghyuck laughed, a frustrated tone to it. It was the first time Mark had seen so many of his feelings flash so freely on his face, tint his voice so honestly and leek into his words for so long. "Then maybe it's just me. Never mind. I don't usually speak like that, I'm sorry, Mark. I must be..." He exhaled a heavy breath. "Silly. I must be silly." 

____

It looked as if he was about to get up, and Mark knew that meant they'd never reach any sort of understanding. He quickly pressed a hand atop his, stopping him. 

____

Mark had always been so honest, sometimes even to the point of blunt. He never hid his feelings - he didn't have a hard time piecing them together, either. Now that Donghyuck, who, to the best of his judgement, didn't seem to really express his feelings, was, why was Mark so reluctant to voice his own? 

____

"No, wait," he said, apologetic. "You're right, it's strange. Maybe we're both strange." 

____

Donghyuck's eyes both darkened and glimmered with a spark of hope. "You're just saying that." 

____

"No, I'm not," Mark continued. He also didn't know how they'd reached this point, that unrelated point, as Donghyuck had called it. The description didn't do it justice. But maybe it meant something that they had. "I'm sorry," he apologised, hushed. 

____

"...What?" 

____

It wasn't easy owning up to any of this, but Mark had to try. "For the first time we met. And the second. Actually, all of them. Breaking in, especially. I've thought about it, and I wasn't fair to you. I reacted to things I thought I saw in you but I never stopped to consider those might have just been my own impressions. You're... I mean, I... You said you don't understand me. I don't understand you either. That's probably why we keep acting so weird around one another." 

____

He paused to gauge the other's reaction. Though not much to go by, he was watching him attentively and looked neither vexed, nor incensed. What... what _was_ Mark doing? 

____

He continued despite not knowing the answer. "I know we're different, but it was wrong to make up my mind about you without knowing you. I don't usually do that." 

____

Donghyuck shook his head, eyes somewhat wide. "It's not just you. I didn't always act proper either." 

____

"Maybe, but my fault in this is mine. Anyway, that's not the point. You're not how I thought you were," Mark said, smiling slightly at Donghyuck. 

____

"How do you know what you think now is how I actually am?" Donghyuck asked. That soft, almost not there crease between his eyebrows reappeared. Mark decided not to analyse it. Decided he analysed too much and felt too little. Decided he needed to stop being so stubborn. Decided he needed to be honest - because unlike usually, he hadn't been. 

____

"I don't," he admitted. "But how about I find out?" 

____


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which mark and donghyuck get out of their comfort zone a little bit, and begin to understand each other better in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a cute, fluffy chapter! i really couldn't help myself.. and mark also can't help but end up caring for hyuck, but _shhh_ , don't tell him that yet

Spending time with Donghyuck -properly, not just fleeting moments here and there, moments which mostly confused them both- turned out to be much more... mild than he'd expected. 

No, mild isn't a good word. Nothing about Donghyuck was mild. 

"What! Unbelievable! Why would you send free bouquets to your clients?" he'd exclaimed one day, when he'd come to pester Mark while he tried (emphasis on tried) to do his job. "It's great, don't get me wrong, but it is shocking. I didn't expect it from a business." 

"We do it because they're our regular ones, and it's their birthday. It's just a nice gesture. And it makes for good business long-term too," Mark had said, still trying to focus on trimming some jasmines for one of the very bouquets he was being interrogated about. 

"Really? How?" 

"How?" Mark had echoed. "Why don't you ask Ten that?" 

"Why, Mark, weren't you an expert too?" 

"Donghyuck... Maybe in flowers, but not business..." 

No, perhaps mild was taking it a bit too far. But Donghyuck wasn't all witty answers all the time. Or maybe he could be, would be, was with most people, but it was clear he'd begun trying to temper himself around Mark. For the most part, at least. 

"What're you doing?" Mark had asked, watching Donghyuck type something in his phone's notes. 

"I was just recording something you did. I'm writing a biography on you, did you know? I think it will be utterly captivating for the world," he'd answered, voice dripping with sarcasm, not looking up. His profile bore a perfectly curved smirk, though. "This particular note: he's curious about every single thing. Literally. Even this!" 

Mark had rolled his eyes, while his exasperated sigh had drawn the loudest cackle from Donghyuck. 

But really, it had been a happy chance that they'd talked about their feelings, or rather their common confusion. Realising their uncharacteristic behaviour around one another had been the first step towards a solution - which Mark had phrased as "trying to make amends", while Donghyuck, after a lengthy conversation and once he'd cheered up a bit, had called "mission _Unravel Mark's Mystery_ ". Lying at the heart of the vaguely structured plan was simply the hope of understanding each other better. To what end, he wasn't sure yet.

They were... trying, both of them, whatever that meant.

Donghyuck especially had taken it as initiative and implied permission to pop by often. Of course, no one had any idea what to make of his sporadic, yet frequent visits. They'd given up too, probably. How Mark and Donghyuck had gone from arguing for no reason to Donghyuck teasing him and Mark not only not combusting, but occasionally even playing along, was beyond them. If he was honest, it was a bit beyond Mark too. Chenle though, needless to say, was ecstatic. 

However, a few breaks stolen at TENder Blooms turned out not to be enough for Donghyuck. 

"You're joking," Mark said, looking at Ten with pursed lips. 

"No I'm not." 

"You're absolutely joking." 

Ten sighed. "Why are you like this, Marks?" 

That was a very funny question, considering the situation. Mark laughed, a broken sound.

"Me? You're the one telling me Donghyuck will be working here and you're asking why _I_ am like this?" 

The news Ten had just imparted to him was that, apparently, Donghyuck was going to... let's say volunteer at TENder Blooms half the day, and continue his job at Funky Pluckers the rest. Again, apparently, his own shop had just taken on another employee, so there wasn't "much for Donghyuck to do". Mark just wanted to scream with how badly they were handling their shop, but he figured they were only rookies still and could be forgiven. 

But that didn't mean he was okay with this! 

"Marks, the initial deal was supposed to be you working part time there too, to sort of balance things. But after seeing how you reacted last month I didn't even want to risk it. You should be thanking me, really," Ten said, winking at him. 

"Thanking you? You do realise I'm an adult too, right?" Ten raised an eyebrow, teasing, but Mark ignored it. "We have a contract, you can't just-" 

"What's all that between friends?" Ten said, and continued with a breezy laugh when Mark looked about to retort, "Marks, Marks, Marks, breathe. You've had such a temper lately, I hardly recognise you. I was only joking, no need to go into a frenzy. But really, what's the trouble? You've been spending a lot of time with Donghyuck lately. I thought you were friends by now." 

Mark cleared his throat, the realisation that they'd agreed to leave such reactions behind them hitting him. His past instincts had come into play in spite of his better judgement. Still, yes, he was okay with spending more time with Donghyuck. Unexpectedly, he'd actually begun to enjoy his presence. He didn't really seem the boy he'd first met, not fully. There was something refreshing about it, about discovering more about him. The apparent polarity between them that he'd initially hated was, at worst, testing his limits and getting him out of his comfort zone, and at best, actually showing him a new perspective on things.

But his work was precious to him. 'Sacred', as Hendery would have defiantly quipped upon hearing such a sentimental proclamation. He didn't want him getting involved in that, he was already around a lot, wasn't that enough- 

As he was ranting to Ten about the importance of his work, the shopkeeper's bell clinked. 

"Ten, Mark! Talking about me, I assume?" 

Fascinating. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear". What a veritable expression, Mark thought with a suppressed groan as Donghyuck's form came into view, confident walk, perfect posture. 

"No," answered Mark. 

"Yes," said Ten at the same time. 

"And they say you're a model of candour and virtue, Mark. Tsk tsk," Donghyuck said, gaze focused on Mark only, a wicked smile on his lips. Who would even say that..? Donghyuck just loved being cheeky... and giving Mark a hard time while he was at it.

Surveying him as he was, he caught onto the change quickly. Donghyuck's eye shadow was no longer the bold grey or brown it tended to be - it was a pale pink, with coral undertones, and the sides of his eyes even had light glitter on them. It greatly softened his features. Even his dark eyes looked less intense. 

Donghyuck noticed whatever expression flashed across Mark's face at the discovery. "Oh? What do you think of my new look?" 

It wasn't just the eye shadow. His usual choice of varied shirts and occasional jackets had been forsaken for white tapered trousers and a white t-shirt. His trainers, too, were white. To finish the look, a buttoned beige cardigan, with intermittent orange, vertical stripes. And, was... was that a sunflower earring in his right ear?! Who was this and where had rocker, normal Donghyuck gone?! 

"Stunning!" Ten said, clapping as if captivated. "You outdid yourself!" 

Even Taeyong clapped from the other side of the shop, though he was preparing an order. Donghyuck bowed in the most exaggerated, most cocky way possible. His smile seemed so far away yet as potent as ever - so clearly calculated, so him. Then it _was_ Donghyuck, but what was going on? Mark couldn't believe what he was witnessing. 

Thankfully, Donghyuck didn't press him for an answer. He pushed his bangs back gracefully. "I thought a change of look was necessary if I'm to blend with the flowers. Had to go shopping, but I think the end result is rather lucky. Of course, I'll have to change once I go back later. I don't know if this is gonna leave an imprint on my fashion choices, but I do love trying out new things," he said, turning his attention to Ten, and for a second he almost looked deferential, though still playful. "Maybe you and Taeyong can give me some pointers along the way, your style is so versatile. Some for Mark too, for that matter."

"I'm sure we can get around it someday," Ten agreed cheerfully.

Slower than he'd have wished, Mark comprehended what the younger was implying. "Wait, what do you mean, me too?"

Donghyuck and Ten shared a knowing look. 

"I have nothing against your style, Mark, it does suit you and I can see the appeal, but still, you could... enhance it a little bit. Make it pop," Donghyuck revealed, unfazed by Mark's outraged expression. Then, with both palms pressed to the counter, he leaned forward, in Mark's space, and grinned. "Aren't we getting started? I'm sure you could use my help somewhere."

"What _do_ you want to do?" Mark asked. He didn't know what he thought of the plan yet. 

"Find out more about flowers, the shop..." He stretched his hand to poke Mark's cheek. "You?" 

Mark was uncertain what he meant with that last word. Was the question meant for him, as in what did he want to do, or was Donghyuck suggesting so openly, even in front of Ten, that he wanted to get to know him? He wasn't given time to ask, though, as a group of teenage girls entered the shop, all of them dressed elegantly, as for a party, and laughing. 

"If you're serious about this, just watch, alright? Don't do anything," Mark whispered, a pleading tone to his words, and Donghyuck nodded innocently. Despite the excited glint in his eyes, he did appear genuine. If this was to go well, they needed to work together. 

As he moved behind the counter and to a corner where he wouldn't become an issue, he said, "So little faith in me still, Mark?" 

Mark snorted, eyes returning to the costumers. Throughout the entire interaction, Donghyuck kept quiet, just watching him put together the bouquets as he would before. He did joke around with the girls, but that was to be expected, given his popular, suave way of being. Overall, he proved to be the image of moderation. 

Alright then. _Fine_. With a little compromise on both parts, maybe they could actually pull this off. 

And so they did, though Mark couldn't fathom where Donghyuck got his determination from. To work at two shops... and for what, really, when flowers weren't even his passion? Say he was getting paid, it didn't change the fact that there was plenty to do, and it still probably amounted to the same sum he'd have earned back at Funky Pluckers, no extra work necessary. 

Even so, when he wasn't carefully listening to Mark explain how to match flowers in a bouquet, he was coming up with his own ideas - ideas not even Ten had thought of. 

"See?" he said, handing everyone a sample of his new creation. Each was a different animal - Mark's was a bear - made by combining different, small flowers, poked into a larger one with toothpicks. "It's not difficult, and with all the flowers you have around, the possibilities are endless. I don't know if they'd sell like this, but..." 

"Incorporated into bouquets, maybe," said Hendery with an appreciative look. "Right, big bro?" 

Ten nodded. His eyes were bright with the sudden swirl of possibilities the idea had stirred in him. "Yeah... I can't believe this never crossed my mind! It's actually rather genius. Especially for a baby shower or something."

"Or even as a friendly gift. Maybe they're gifting it to someone who resembles a certain animal. What do you think, Mark?" Donghyuck asked, and his eyes flickered between Mark and the bear flower arrangement. 

"Not bad," Mark said, his smile bashful yet impressed. Donghyuck paid it back in full, then settled for a more neutral one as his attention returned to the others. 

His ideas were ingenious and his presence energizing. He was very social and the other guys warmed up to him in no time. The clients, too, loved chatting with him while the others prepared their orders. He didn't work, per say, though he did occasionally help Mark with the bouquets. And, frustratingly enough, he was very good at it. What had taken Mark a while to perfect took Donghyuck a few tries to nail. It was like whatever he tried he was instantly good at, but aside from the occasional smirk, he'd never gloat. His flair for... well, most things, didn't make him act any different. Once his initial surprise wore off, Mark started to share the excitement of his accomplishments. It was near impossible not to get attached to this boy, Mark realised too late - once he had, already, gotten attached.

It was ironic, of course, knowing a moment of mutual vulnerability had opened up such possibilities, even if once Mark couldn't have imagined not scowling at this boy, let alone working together so well.

One day, when they were closing shop early because of some constructions happening on the street, Donghyuck caught Mark's hand in his own. 

"C'mon," he said, smiling an unreadable smile. There was mischief in his attitude but Mark no longer felt nervous being faced with it. 

"Where?" he found himself asking, no hint of irritation in his tone. 

"Why do you always always always have to know every single thing? Don't you ever live a little?" 

Mark reddened. He liked being in control of all details of his life. He liked knowing where he was going. 

But, just once, he could let Donghyuck lead the way. 

Just before they arrived wherever they were supposed to, Donghyuck stepped behind him and covered his eyes with his hands. 

"Donghyuck?!" 

"Mark?!" he replied playfully in the same tone. "Stop fussing, you'll see in a bit." 

He didn't need eyes to picture where he was as he walked with small, cautious steps - the blithe laughter of children, blending with the soft murmur of whatever water source there was in the area, likely a fountain. All around them, a tune played by countless birds, a stir of leaves in the wind. As they walked, Mark just basked in the serenity of the space around them. Not being able to see heightened his hearing, an outcome he welcomed, for he loved the sounds in this sort of environment the most. 

"Why are we in a park, Donghyuck?" he asked once the silence had drawn out for too long. He heard a snort, then the world reappeared before him, greens and blurred outlines of people as he squeezed his eyes shut from the strong light.

"You're such a spoilsport, Mark," he whined, tapping his cheek thrice to suggest tears falling. "I know it wasn't hard to figure it out, but I wanted to reach the pond first."

Mark still blinked, trying to adjust to the intense light.

"Hello? Mark? Man, seeing really is his primary sense, isn't it?" he muttered the last part to himself. He snapped his fingers in front of Mark, finally getting a reaction. "Idiot, come on, the pond's just over there."

Taking hold of his arm, he began sprinting towards said pond, and Mark had to unwillingly shake off his daze. Once there, Donghyuck looked around, an alert glint in his eyes. They grew in recognition and, with no explanation, he towed Mark along again. Mark had to get used to the idea that now that he'd let Donghyuck into his life, he'd be dragged after him more often than not.

They reached a more secluded part of the pond, where, swimming by the sunken branches of the willows were ducklings, perfectly cheerful and relaxed. Mark had to conceal a pleased gasp at the adorable scene.

Donghyuck pressed a finger to Mark's lips to assure his silence. Then, he reached into his back pocket, pulling out a small pouch, full of all kinds of seeds. "Here, you take some too," he said, pouring some into Mark's hand. He knelt by the pond, chirruping softly to beckon the little creatures closer, but they retreated to their mother's side in a flurry. Mark watched in awe as his new friend chuckled, throwing seeds again and again, first to the mother, then closer and closer to him, until they trusted him enough to even approach the shore. 

"They don't bite, Markles. Go on!"

Mark ignored the ridiculous nickname Donghyuck had been using for a few days and squatted next to him. 

"Try this," Donghyuck said, refilling Mark's palm with seeds and guiding it down to the water. After some deliberation, a braver duckling began eating from his palm. 

"It tickles," Mark laughed, but held his hand steady for the innocent creature to finish. A sense of calm and peace flooded him, that feeling of belonging brought by being in contact with nature.

"A little duckling like that nibs at your hand and you call it tickling? Watch out I don't tickle you myself," Donghyuck said, but upon glancing his way, Mark found a sunny expression on his face. He looked... radiant. But not like on stage; infinitely more brilliant. A soft, childlike aura surrounded him, and his eyes focused on the birds with what Mark could only describe as genuine affection.

"I didn't know you liked animals," Mark murmured.

Donghyuck pushed into him with his shoulder gently. "Who doesn't love animals, Mark?"

_Not everyone does_ , thought Mark idly. For a while, they just continued feeding them, the both of them chuckling.

Seeing how much he seemed to care for them, an idea struck Mark. All happened in the blink of an eye: he reached swiftly into the water, catching one of the ducklings; the mother duck started quaking in alarm, looking at Mark but not daring to do anything; the other ducklings dispersed, fleeing from the shore, while the one in his hand tweeted sadly.

"Mark!" Donghyuck gasped. Mark could feel the little thing's heart beating wildly against his grasp, from beneath a coat of fluff - it truly was so small, not even the size of his hand. What he thought would be a good idea turned out to cause more havoc than he'd expected. The scare the duckling was experiencing matched the shock on Donghyuck's face, as well as the guilt Mark felt, so he lowered it carefully back in the water. 

"Why did you do that?" 

"I..." _Don't know what came over me._ He wanted to give it to Donghyuck to hold, just to feel how soft and innocent and small it was, to know that short moment of joy. Silly though he knew it was, after witnessing the mutual affection, he wanted to offer him that... tangibility. "I don't really know."

Amusement animated the younger's features. He threw some more seeds towards the ducks, but they no longer dove after them. Trust's a fragile thing, especially for a mother caring for her ducklings. 

"Well, that's the end to that," he said, not unkind, but before Mark could even move, he started tickling him. "See! I told you that wasn't proper tickling!"

"Donghyuck, stop!" Mark managed through laughter, but the younger's nimble fingers didn't halt their mission.

"Nope, you've earned this!" 

Given he was squatting, Mark could only keep his balance for so long. He collapsed on his back, still laughing, even as he felt the mushy, cold feeling of the wet ground beneath him. Maybe that's what Donghyuck had intended from the beginning, because he erupted with laughter and jumped to his feet.

"That'll teach you to prey on smaller beings than you," he said, offering Mark a hand to lift him back up.

They were a funny pair - one of Donghyuck's knees was bright green with motes of dirt from the contact with the grass, while a good portion of Mark's right side, from top to bottom, was also tarnished with a similar blend of earthly elements. It was even better -or worse for his washing machine- that Donghyuck's trousers were white.

Donghyuck only noticed as he followed Mark's wide eyes down to his knee. With a cackle, he tried to brush the dirt away, and when he didn't succeed, he turned Mark around and tried to do the same to him.

"Oomph! Now I'm all dirty," he said, shaking his head at his mud stained hand. But if there was ever a quick-witted person, it was Donghyuck. He didn't need more than a second of consideration before he submerged his hands in the water, and once clean, he made sure to splash Mark with as much water as he could.

"Donghyuck! What's gotten into you?" Mark exclaimed, running and hiding behind a willow.

"Is fun so new a concept to you, Markles? Don't look at me like that! Fine, look, I wiped them, no more water, see? Stop hiding."

They continued their little walk through the park, in the pleasant shade of the trees, among people walking their dogs, surrounded by the fresh smell of roses. 

"Any reason we're here?" Mark asked again, only to be met by an exhausted sigh.

"The amount of questions you ask... The search for details... We had time to spare, the both of us, and I'm pretty sure you would have hidden in your room somewhere instead of coming out to enjoy the weather. You're such a contradiction, Mark... You say you love flowers and nature but spend most your time in that silly shop."

"It's not silly!" Mark said defensively. The expression Donghyuck threw his way reminded him of how he'd looked when he'd found him hiding behind the pillows in his shop.

"It's not, but you need a break." And this was coming from the guy who was constantly running from one shop to the other. "I thought a park was your sort of thing. I didn't want to take you to a club or something to unwind. Though I did consider bungee jumping!"

"Bungee jumping?!"

"There's a building that you can bungee jump off of, didn't you know?" Donghyuck revealed with a toothy grin. Mark paled at the mere thought of it. "Chill, I knew you'd be against it. Besides, the ducklings were a much better choice. I saw them yesterday while running an errand for Johnny and I instantly thought you should see them."

"You liked them too, though."

Donghyuck picked a blade of grass and twirled it between his fingers. "Mhm. I had a duckling when I was little, actually. As a pet, y'know. It wasn't a very bright idea looking back, but we were inseparable. It... Never mind what it did. It just didn't live too long." He hung his head, putting on that aloof attitude again. "But of course I love all kinds of animals. There's something really pure about them. People by comparison can be so... you know. Not all of them, but plenty. Not you, definitely. In fact, Markles... you might just be purer than those ducklings back there."

Mark floundered, fidgeting. He didn't know if Donghyuck was serious or if he was just teasing like usual. Not dwelling on it, he asked, "What other things do you like? Like, hobbies, interests, stuff like that."

Donghyuck shoot him a curious look. Mark returned it. He'd let Donghyuck in, into his shop, his passion. He definitely felt they were closer now, but a little more reciprocity wouldn't hurt.

"You play a mean game, Mark," he said, relenting. "Well, this might come as a surprise, but I really like reading. Novels, mostly. I know I just said they're not pure like animals are, but I like people, I suppose. Just being around them, seeing what they're like, hearing their stories... everyone's so unique. Hmm. What else? Playing video games, though that's very rare, and it's just 'cause I can't seem to let go of my old Nintendo. Johnny's also got me a bit attached to playing cards, so I do it with our clients occasionally. There's also this funny thing I do where I write down all of my dreams. Before you ask, yes, I remember most of them, and in detail too. And, yeah, it's relaxing writing them in the morning, and in a way it's like remembering a good memory, since I... rarely write about my bad dreams. It's stimulating too. Inspires my songwriting process."

That was already a lot more than Mark had ever discovered about him, especially in such a direct manner, in one go.

"So you do write songs!" he said, deciding to test the waters. A bell clink came from behind him, bridging the distance that'd stretched between them and the park. Where he was had escaped his memory, listening as intently as he was. Donghyuck pulled him out of the way quickly, letting the bicycle pass by them. He then wrapped an arm around his shoulders, holding him closer, probably as a precaution.

"Ay, Mark, be careful. And I do, who said I didn't?"

"Oh, no one. But then, if you do and you can sing too, why aren't you, I don't know, singing for a living?" he said, stumbling somewhat over his words. 

Donghyuck made a dismissive hand gesture. "Oh, I haven't really thought about it. I don't think it would be my kind of job. No freedom, right? Anyone who's met me knows at least that much, that I can't stand lack of freedom, of whatever kind. And the amount of questions they ask! I don't think I could stand it for a minute, no."

Mark's stomach churned uncomfortably. He did want to get to know Donghyuck, but if questions were so terrible for him... 

"You know, I can stop asking stuff if you want me to," he said, earnest.

Donghyuck slowed his pace, his eyebrows knitting together. "What? Mark, your questions are fine. I don't mind. I... I'm not really used to answering them, at least not directly, but I'm trying. I still don't a hundred percent know what to make of a lot of stuff but this is fine. You're fine," he said, the faintest upwards quirk to his lips. Mark parted his lips to reply, but nothing came out. He didn't know how to react to something like that.

"And anyway, the problem with stardom and fandoms is they want to know everything about you, but few actually care. It's just entertainment, isn't it? Looking into all details of someone's life, whether they're fine with it or not, and using it to forget about your own. Better yet, you do something they don't like, and boom, your career is over. They don't even ask if it's true, they don't care for the context of the clip they're using to hurt you, don't even care if it's a complete misunderstanding. They just don't listen. What they think is right is right. Your side of the story, the facts... they get lost in the tumult, the controversy. Your happiness, the fact that you're a human like everyone else... who would think of that?"

He laughed a humourless laugh. Though he was right, it sounded like he was talking about something else entirely, something more personal. 

"Are you okay?" Mark asked. A vein was throbbing in Donghyuck's neck but he nodded.

"Mhm. It's cool," he hummed, a smile returning to his face. Not fully sincere, but Mark could accept it. At any rate, he didn't know what else to say - inquiring further likely meant heading towards something Donghyuck didn't yet want to share, if ever, and Mark could respect that. Before he could think of how to change the subject, a tactic which suited Donghyuck much better, they passed by a greenhouse. A sign in front of it let him know it was open to the public for the next few weeks, free of charge.

"Why don't we check it out?" Mark proposed. Unlike the younger, he could wait to see if both of them were in favour of the plan. The idea seemed enticing enough, as Donghyuck marched towards it with quick steps, beckoning Mark to follow. _As if I didn't suggest it in the first place_ , Mark lamented to himself.

Contrary to what he'd guessed -as the greenhouse was old enough, stained windows hardly allowing a look inside-, he found no flowers, just cacti, hundreds of them, of all sizes and shapes, raging from some the size of his fist, and some a head or two taller than him.

"Oh my God," Mark mumbled, joy bubbling up in his chest. Keeping his excitement under check, he walked up to a cactus with large red flowers, which sprawled out over the ground, and admired it. Cacti may have looked simple to the average person, but they were fascinating to him regardless, especially because of how diverse they were.

"Don't tell me you're betraying your flowers, Mark. Goodness, should I inform Ten?" Donghyuck teased.

"Never. If anything, I'm betraying the cactuses. They were one of my favourite things, growing up." 

Donghyuck tapped his chin in apparent thought. "Fair enough. But you know what that means, right?"

At Mark's negation, he pulled out his phone, already about to take a photo. This much Mark couldn't deny him - it would have been nice to have something to remember this accidental but welcome visit by. He straightened his back, buried both hands in his pockets, and looked straight at the phone. Though he expected Donghyuck to readily take the shot, the younger only lowered his hands in consternation.

"What, that's it?" Donghyuck said.

"What is?"

"Is that how you take photos? You're not even smiling!"

"What do you mean? I am," Mark said defensively, but he had to rethink his pose to see if he'd actually been smiling.

" _That?_ I've seen you smile, Markles, and that's not it." He shook his head and shivered as if personally offended by Mark's affront to photography and modelling as an art. He waited until a group of people had passed by them, then approached Mark and pushed down on his shoulders. "Golly, sit down," he instructed, while Mark, too rattled to do much else, heeded his words. One knee planted to the ground, he was now mostly level with the cactus' flowers. "Okay, pretend to grab the flower, hm?"

"But-"

"I won't even hear it! Go on. Okay, now lean in a bit, smell it. Brilliant! No, not that close, what are you, kissing it? Perfect! You should close your eyes, it looks... creepy otherwise." As he directed the whole thing, he also looked for the right angle to take the photo. Once he'd found it, he made sure the most important thing wasn't missing, "And smile, Mark, you're taking in the scent of a cactus flower, whatever they're called. No better life than that, is there?"

Eventually, he allowed Mark to sit up and see the photo - or, photos, as he'd taken about a dozen. With the air of a savant, he walked Mark through each of them, as if they'd required great effort.

"Well, yeah, they're better than my usual photos," Mark admitted. "Thanks."

"They are, aren't they? But what do you mean, 'thanks'? We're not done." Mark shot his friend an open-mouthed glare. "C'mon, there's so many more! Look, how about there on those stairs, with those huge ones in the back?"

"On the stairs...?"

"Mhm. With your arms stretched out towards the sky in happiness."

"Donghyuck, there's people. Lots of them," Mark complained, unable to understand the younger's sudden passion for photography. Photographing _him_ , no less.

"And there's also a lot of cactuses, Mark. Those people won't remember you in two days time, but these photos will last you an eternity," he said, cocking his head in provocation. "So, what will it be? Cactus or people?"

With a sigh, Mark gave in. He could stand to have a few good photos, especially with such beautiful cacti all around. Thus commenced a proper photo session, accompanied by Donghyuck's detailed instructions. In the first few photos, Mark's cheeks burned bright red, but in time, he accommodated himself to the situation, and began coming up with his own poses, which he could execute less awkwardly than the ones imposed by Donghyuck. It was fun, and though he liked the photos in which he was carefully posing, he loved the ones in which he'd ended up laughing at the situation. They were the authentic ones.

"I'm curious though, Mark," Donghyuck said once they'd left the greenhouse almost an hour later.

"About?"

"You," he said, brassy. "You talk so easily to your clients, no matter their age, and they all love you in turn. You're really close to the others at the shop too. Yet often enough you get shy and flustered and don't approach people, don't really leave your little safe space. Like earlier."

Mark waited for an actual question, but it never came. It was implied, however, that Donghyuck wasn't entirely sure whether Mark was truly shy or not

"You're perceptive enough. What do you think? Shy or not?" he asked.

"Both?" Donghyuck tried, smirking, but he'd hit the nail right on the head, either by pure luck or good intuition.

"Yeah. I usually just say I'm shy and get it over with. I'm not very good at first meetings, at least not the sort of meetings where you're supposed to get close to the other person. If they're shy too, it's a bit of a slower process. But that's not always the case... I really like people, so I don't really have a problem talking to them. It's fun. Depends on the environment and how I'm feeling, though. I limit interaction sometimes, and I try to recharge occasionally. The guys at TENder Blooms are family at this point, though. I'm always comfortable around them," he explained.

Donghyuck gave a short nod. "So no one can fully be put in a box, no?"

"Of course not. Is that why you asked? Trying to prove to me the complexity of humans?"

"Maybe," he laughed, a small, low thing, as he watched a husky pup pass by them. Mark frowned, trying to understand what Donghyuck was trying to hint at. Perhaps at Mark's insular earlier opinion of him. "But I mostly just wanted to make sense of it. You're always swaying between the two. And honestly, I think it's quite a nice way of being."

Their conversation continued as they just walked, subjects coming and going with ease. Donghyuck tried to give straightforward answers, apparently much less apprehensive than before. It was comfortable, as if often was, to just talk to him, to Mark's constant surprise. Surprise or not, he couldn't deny liking it.

All of a sudden, during one of their more lighthearted discussions, something caught Donghyuck's attention and a smile stretched across his face. "Yes! I thought they didn't have these here anymore. C'mon!"

The novelty Donghyuck had come across was a children's train ride. Of course he'd noticed it: it was a whirlwind of any and all colours under the sun, of a vibrancy one could only dream of, shining because of its rich lustre. Mark had never taken a ride in something like that as a child - whenever he'd come across one, he'd felt too ashamed to ask his parents to ride it, and they'd also never mentioned it. They preferred carousels and Ferris wheels and since Mark had never voiced his desire, they must've assumed he did too. Thus, he felt a pang of nostalgia seeing it.

But when he realised Donghyuck was actually heading to it, he grabbed his forearm and stopped him in his tracks.

"Wait, Donghyuck, that's a children's ride."

Donghyuck let out a puff of air. "Pff, who's about those social constructs? That's so elitist, let's goooo." 

Since neither was letting go, Mark ended up very clumsily trying -and failing- to hold the younger back, feet weakly planted in the ground. "Donghyuck-- Wait, no, what- What're you doing? No, that's for children, as in we can't fit inside!" he said in alarm, struggling to keep him from advancing. For every two steps Donghyuck took, Mark pulled him back one.

"Jeez, Mark, think out the box maybe? We can ride on top! C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Ride where?! Oh my goodne-- Donghyuck-- Stop, no, come back, _no_ \--"

That's how they reached the train ride, as well as the man who owned it. Noticing him, Mark let go and dusted himself off, clearing his throat and throwing Donghyuck a dirty look.

"Can I help?" the man asked, looking at them cynically from behind a crooked handlebar moustache. Mark blanked on the spot, but Donghyuck had no such problem.

"Yes actually! We'd like to ride the train," he said. _Who said anything about us?!_ Mark wanted to argue, but it was embarrassing enough as it was, so he remained partially hidden behind Donghyuck.

The man raised an eyebrow. "No can do. You wouldn't fit inside even if you tried, chaps."

"That's right--"

"It won't take long, mister. Just a ride. We'll pay, of course. Say... twenty rides worth?" Donghyuck said. He smiled that cool, magnetic and ingratiating smile of his, which Mark hadn't seen directed his way in quite a long time. He looked so sure of himself, as if he was the one setting the terms, not the other way around. Mark was enraptured yet again by how quickly Donghyuck could put on this persona, even around a man so much older than him.

"Huh... Just twenty?" 

So the man knew how to play too. Maybe that just meant they should leave and-

"Twenty five," Donghyuck said, already having pulled out his wallet and counting the money. Did he have nothing better to do with his earnings? Unbelievable. He placed the cash in the man's hand and a brilliant expression settled on his face, implying there was nothing more to be said. The man shook his head in wry amusement and invited the two to take their places... _on_ the train.

Mark still complained, but it was in vain. Not without effort, Donghyuck managed to lead him to the train. 

"Wait, Donghyuck... What if it breaks?"

Donghyuck was examining his nails, intentionally sly. "He's the one who accepted my offer, it's not my fault if he doesn't know how sturdy his own train is." They'd both gotten on it by then, Donghyuck taking the locomotive, when he grinned, "But alas, Ten and Johnny can pay for the damages if anything happens." 

Before Mark could rethink his choices, the train started moving and low quality speakers began playing some children's music. 

"Mulan! I can't believe they'd play Mulan's soundtrack!" Donghyuck cheered. 

"How did you even figure out that's Mulan? The sound on these is so bad," Mark complained. 

"Pff, don't be a spoilsport again, Markles. It takes a trained ear like mine, is all." 

"Dork," Mark muttered under his breath, but Donghyuck somehow heard and turned back towards him, grin so large it looked to Mark like the sun itself.

"Did you just call me a dork, Mark? What character development! We'll make a rebel out of you yet," he said, leaning over to poke his already crimsoned cheek. 

The ride was less... thrilling than what Mark had been made to believe. It was slow. Very slow. _Too_ slow! It made sense, since it was a children's ride, but still, who'd made it so atrociously slow? Donghyuck joked it might've just been their weight slowing it down, but that didn't ease Mark's nerves at all.

Uninteresting as it may have been, Donghyuck's entire body was shaking with laughter, for reasons unknown to Mark. Maybe it was just the fact that he got to witness such a perplexed expression on Mark's face. He kept turning to him, pointing to random things, and even began making a 'Choo choo!' sound. Had he been with anyone else (though who did he know that would even suggest such a thing..?), Mark might have melted into a puddle with embarrassment by then, but like this, he couldn't stop smiling either.

"C'mon, pleaaase! I said please! It'll stop soon, you don't want me to pay twenty more rides, right?" Donghyuck pleaded, pouting. Actually pouting. "Please?"

Wait.... _pouting_? Donghyuck pouting? 

Mere humans were no match to Donghyuck's charm, and though Mark managed to withstand it occasionally, a pout had weakened his resolve more than he could have ever imagined.

Biting his lip, Mark nodded once, avoiding his eyes.

"Ha, okay! Choo choo!"

"...Choo choo..." Mark parroted, feeling his face burning. It had been said quietly, but Donghyuck grabbed his hand and high fived him with the greatest pride. 

"Brilliant! That's more like it!" 

They must have looked completely absurd, two young, full grown men sitting atop the brightest miniature train known to mankind, one laughing as if it was his birthday and the other hardly lifting his gaze from the ground. Some people were clearly staring, but even though Mark couldn't meet their eyes, he couldn't care in the least as his chest bubbled with warmth.

After an entire day just walking and talking (or, well, getting ice cream on their way back, watching Donghyuck teach some children how to properly hold a tennis racket), they returned at around eight, when the sun was just beginning to set, a July perk.

"So?" Donghyuck said once they'd arrived in front of TENder Blooms. 

"So?"

Donghyuck flicked him across the chin. " _So_ , did you learn anything valuable? Now that you've experienced freedom and rebellion, is the world suddenly bigger and brighter and better and all possibilities seem possible?"

"That's the most ludicrous phrase I've ever heard, Donghyuck," Mark stated, trying to put on a poker face.

The younger's eyes crinkled with mirth. "I never thought I'd see the day you'd join in on my banter, Mark, yet here you are, sarcasm in tow! I officially declare today a success," he said, clapping cheekily.

If anyone would have asked Mark to describe Donghyuck when he'd first met him, the words he'd have used are obvious. Now, faced with his bright grin, he could only shake his head, smiling. Donghyuck was best at portraying that cool character, but the more time they spent together, the more Mark felt that, at heart, he was a child. Perhaps Donghyuck wasn't the best at opening up, but just being around him was a revelation in its own. _So_ , to answer his question: he was grateful. Working around one another was one thing, but the day's events had allowed him a different way of seeing things.

"Because it was," he said, holding his friend's gaze. "Thank you for not letting me waste away inside. And for... showing me more."

Donghyuck cocked his head to the side. "More?"

"About you. Or of you," he revealed, but gave no more explanations. Instead, he punched the younger's shoulder, a weak attempt at what he'd seen guy friends dynamics to be like in movies. "I had fun, really, and got out my comfort zone, I guess. So thank you."

Donghyuck momentarily stopped in his tracks, then cleared his throat, surprisingly flustered. "Yeah, it's cool. Thank you for coming with. And everything else. Being chill. Putting up with all that." He paused. "Listening." Another pause. "So I'll... let you rest, then. You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow."

"It's not like I don't usually, Donghyuck." 

The fiery confidence flickered in Donghyuck's eyes anew. "Oh, no, Markles. That's where you're wrong."

"Huh?"

"Don't fret yet, but I asked Ten to let me be the one to work on the flower baskets for that party tomorrow afternoon," he said, walking backwards, hands stretching behind him in a playful manner. Mark's eyebrows already began to crease in panic, anticipating what he was about to hear. "And, lo and behold, he said yes! But I sense you'll be more stressed than usual despite the burden I took off your shoulders."

"You--" Mark started, gaping. How could Ten agree to that? Donghyuck wasn't ready yet, the party they were supplying the flowers for was a big deal, this wasn't a matter to take lightly, no matter how much he cared for him or not.

"Not me, Ten," Donghyuck laughed. "Take it up with him. Mind you, I suggest you rest instead. Long, long day, no?"

"Donghyuck--"

"Night, Markles! See you in the morning!" he shouted, waving a hand high above his head as he turned around and returned to Funky Pluckers, a skip to his steps.

Mark sighed, watching him leave and wondering how on earth he'd explain to Ten what an outrageous decision he'd made, given he never listened to such complaints anyway.

His life was not going to be easy ever again, was it? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a clarification, but when hyuck mentions celebrities receiving hate, he is only referring to when things are taken out of context, or baseless accusations are made, just to hurt a person, the usual internet hate, which can occasionally spread like wildfire, but can also affect a person deeply - not when there is actual proof, and the celebrity has done something despicable (which, unfortunately... happens often enough, and should never be overlooked). just in case that's not 100% clear!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to 'way to you' by hyuk (of vixx!) most while writing a lot of this chapter, somehow it's both hopeful and wistful, and hyuk's soft voice just put me in the perfect mood to write ^^  
> a big shoutout to my cousin and her soothing presence, who listened to me talk about this story, gave the calmest and most objective advice and helped me sort out my (hectic, so hectic) thoughts, she's a lifesaver ♡  
> that being said, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! and that you're all having a great and happy day today ♡

"Mark!" 

Raising his eyes from the book he was reading, Mark found Donghyuck standing in the door frame. He was leaning against it, slightly, but he didn't look very at ease. There was something off about his posture, though Mark couldn't pinpoint what it was. 

"Donghyuck? What are you doing up here?"

He did work with them now, but no one had let him come upstairs - they had no reason to, either. For a split second, he weighed the possibility of him having bypassed the guys and having made his way upstairs on his own, without asking. He found he didn't really care even if that was the case. 

"Ten told me you'd finished work for today and were here. He said I could come." 

Mark nodded, placing a bookmark in his novel and setting it aside. Before he could say anything, Donghyuck pointed to the book. "What are you reading?" 

"Great Expectations by Charles Dickens." 

"Great Expectations... what a fitting name," Donghyuck muttered, more to himself than Mark. There really was something off. Mark knew better than to ask directly, though. At least not when Donghyuck was still standing so close to the exit. 

"What's up, then?" he said instead, a more general question to allow a broader set of answers. "And why are you standing there? Come in." 

Donghyuck did step inside, approaching Mark but still keeping his distance. He eyed the sofa, but shook his head imperceptibly at it. For once, it looked like he didn't know what to do with his body; his arms were dangling uselessly by his side, and he was rubbing his fingers together, as if they wanted to do something, anything. Since the distance between them had decreased, Mark noticed there were bags under his eyes. It was stranger still that he hadn't thought to cover them with makeup. He just... didn't look like himself, and not even the straight back, raised chin or detached expression could change that. 

"Can't I just come visit you without a reason?" he said. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised Mark, but he actually managed a smile. It would have fooled the average person, but after spending so much time with him lately, he noticed it wasn't quite sincere. 

"You can. You do. But let's not pretend. We promised we wouldn't, Donghyuck," Mark said, and it came out less firm than he'd meant it to. His worry had latched onto his words. Either the mention of their promise or the tone weakened Donghyuck's smile. His gaze lowered gradually. 

Because he felt ridiculous sitting down while the younger wasn't, Mark stood up and took a few step until he reached him. He wasn't good at any sort of touches, but he rested what he intended to be a comforting hand on Donghyuck's arm. It halted Donghyuck's next intake of breath. 

"Okay. It's about my parents. Or my sister. Both," he said, fully dropping the smile. 

"Did something happen?" 

"Yeah, but that's not why I'm here. Not... the entire reason." 

It was like the words were stuck to his throat and he was physically straining himself to let them out. Mark felt an overwhelming sense of frustration with himself at the sight. Taeyong would have known how to respond to something like this, known how to make the other person relax and feel comfortable, with silence or words, with a touch or a look. Mark didn't. He wanted to hit himself for being so awkward in moments like these, but he could only look at Donghyuck, try to appear as staunch as he felt, and hope it would come across as such. 

Donghyuck gulped and his next words came out in one go, gliding off of one breath. "I wanted you to come home with me." He'd finally met Mark's eyes and upon seeing them widen, he continued, flustered, "Not... I mean, my parents' home. I know how that sounds. Or I don't know, but I know it's dumb." He started pacing around the room under Mark's unwavering gaze. "Maybe I should've talked to Johnny, but well. I couldn't. Because... I don't know if there's a reason. I just couldn't." 

_But you could talk to me?_ Mark almost let slip. This wasn't the time for childish questions. 

"This is personal, right?" said Mark, and Donghyuck nodded. "Then let's go to my room. It's more private there." 

It was a confirmation that Donghyuck was willing to let Mark in on what he was going through when he nodded again. Mark guided him with a hand hovering on his back to a room on the third floor.

He'd always dreamt of a room on the highest level, and Ten had been kind enough to give it to him. Needless to say, the room's design was Ten's. He'd furnished the entire building in one go, keeping a loose theme of white furniture with pops of colour here and there for the second and third floors. Mark hadn't dared ask to change it when he arrived, especially with how obviously expensive everything was, and in time he got too attached to the style to change anything. 

Donghyuck was momentarily surprised upon entering the room - perhaps he'd expected something else, more... Mark. But there was Mark's personal touch all around: the starred sheets, which his mother had gifted him back in university; the collection of pens and markers on the desk, the only piece of furniture which looked almost battered; the small, random but emotionally precious objects he'd placed on the shelves. Just touches here and there, but to Mark, they made the space home. There was even a teddy bear on the bed, which Mark had loved ever since he was a child. He wouldn't let go of Mr Snowflake (though his fur had since turned just slightly more yellow) no matter what anyone had to say about it. 

"Sit down," he said, motioning to the bed. In a way, it was unnerving to have Donghyuck there. Aside from Hendery and Ten's occasional visits, and the two times his parents had come to see if he was well, no one but himself entered. Donghyuck did have a way of seeping into all aspects of his life - first his neighbourhood, his mind, then his shop, now his room. 

But in another way, it felt... natural. Like Donghyuck himself, unfamiliar but balanced alongside Mark.

As they both sat down, Donghyuck's eyes flitted around the room. He didn't make any comment, which just showed his mind was elsewhere, but his lips twitched in a near smile. 

Mark didn't say anything, just waited for Donghyuck to feel comfortable enough. Words aren't the only thing you can offer a person. 

Donghyuck sighed. He looked so little, all of a sudden. "Where do I start?" he said.

"Wherever you think you need to." 

Another sigh. "From the beginning, then." His teeth were worrying his lower lip, but there was still a ghost of his staged confidence on his face.

"So, my parents... they're not bad people, per say. I don't think they are. I hope they're not. But they've always... they always think they know everything. They worked hard to get where they are, before I was born and long after. I guess they wanted to provide us a good life, but somewhere along the way I think they lost sight of that. It was more about working than us. It was always about a future prospect of a better life than a... present good life, if that makes sense." He coughed. "Ugh, anyway. We don't have to get into it." 

"You can if you want, Donghyuck," Mark said gently. Donghyuck searched his eyes, then shrugged. 

"It's not a big deal. But they weren't really... around. When they were, they were tired. The few times we went on holidays together, they still seemed elsewhere. Maybe they weren't, but I always felt like they were." That made sense. If they didn't spend much time together, some sort of alienation could easily settle over them. "Anyway, the whole work thing is dumb. It's the same for us. They want us to have stable, high paying jobs. They say that way things are easier." He laughed, dry. "How are they easier if you're only ever working? Is that life?" 

Mark noticed the untamed flicker of pain in his eyes and a shiver overcame him. 

"They're better now, I guess. They still work like crazy, but they... try. Or try to try, I don't even know. That's just what my sisters say, but I don't know if I should believe it or not. Knowing how they're acting... it doesn't seem very likely." 

"How are they acting?" Mark said, just to let Donghyuck know he wasn't idly listening. 

"That's the problem. Sehyun... I told you. She's so compassionate, she cares so deeply about people, everyone, I don't even know where she gets the energy to be as bright and loving as she is. It makes sense she'd want to be a psychologist, right? She just clicks with people, Mark, you get that, right? It's not just a random career for her, it's her calling, her talent, her gift, whatever people call it." 

Mark nodded. He'd seen that before in Hendery. He knew some people just... knew. They were meant for something. 

"And now here's the thing! My parents want her to become a doctor or something. It's not that she can't help people like that... but it's just not... her. She wouldn't be happy, I know, she knows, I wish they'd know too. Or at least care enough to listen." 

Donghyuck had slowly started flaring with anger. It was obvious every word was unsettling him. Hesitant, Mark shuffled closer to him and rested his hand on his leg, a subtle but stern touch. Donghyuck glanced his way and took a shaky breath.

Next his spoke, his voice was small. "She's too kind, Mark. She cares about them too, and that's the biggest problem. She tried arguing with them, but she worries she's hurting them by not being a good daughter. Especially... Especially after what I did." 

What he'd done? 

"It's my fault, too," Donghyuck continued, not going into detail. Mark wanted to know - but he also trusted he would tell him if it bore importance, if he was comfortable with him knowing. "That's why I have to go help, get it? Haeun called again yesterday and told me Sehyun's already applied for med school, and I can't let her do that to herself. I'd never forgive myself if I knew I didn't try to help, if I knew I played some part in it." 

Mark wanted to remind him that no choice was final - that life had a way of working out. But he also understood. It was better to act at the right time than to have to change course later. 

"And how do I fit into this?" he asked. When Donghyuck met his eyes, he realised he hadn't looked away from him for a moment ever since his arrival. 

"I've been asking myself the same thing," Donghyuck said, and for a second his tone was light. "I just... I know I'm asking for a lot, but... could you... I'm... I'm going home tomorrow. Sehyun won't do this on her own, not because she can't, but because she's too good. I worry about her. I don't want... I want them to stop this. For her sake, and for Haeun's sake later on. I know it's so out of the blue, and I know you have a life and this is asking too much and we're not even... we haven't known each other that long, it's dumb I know, but I--" 

"Donghyuck," Mark stopped his rambling. His heart softened seeing him so flustered. It was endearing and honest and Mark felt a confusing pull between warmth that Donghyuck was letting him in and a freezing chill that he was so affected to even do so. "You're not asking too much. But what can I do? I don't even know them. I'd just be intruding. This is family business, what if I only make things worse?" 

Donghyuck shook his head. "Not to do anything. I just... It's just that... You know. You know you..." He cleared his throat, his eyes fluttering shut as if not seeing him would make the admission easier. "I feel comfortable around you. I just keep doing... this." He gestured between them, or perhaps to himself - Mark wasn't sure. "I think I could talk to them if you were there. More than a few words, maybe, since we mostly only argue because of these things. But maybe you could just..." 

Be there, he didn't say, but his eyes spoke it. 

For the briefest of moments, Mark hesitated. The request would call for him to leave him comfort zone, quite severely at that. Not because of his awkwardness, rather because he'd be thrust in a completely new environment, someone's home, and be expected to provide some sort of encouragement for a boy he'd only recently gotten close to, all while technically going against some of his family members. Family members he wouldn't meet until the actual debate was to take place. For convenience, one could call it support, but it clearly involved a bit more than that. The next moment, however, he refocused on Donghyuck's eyes, and as if they were panacea, any hint of hesitation wholly washed away.

"Okay," Mark said. Before, he might have been concerned by how easily he'd agreed to something like this. Now, he just couldn't imagine doing anything else. 

Donghyuck's face shifted in surprise. "Okay?" 

"Yes. Okay." He scratched his temple nervously. "Haha, I don't know what else to say. I might not be able to do much there but if you think I could help... okay." 

"It's not a burden?" Donghyuck asked. Mark smiled softly at him with a shake of the head. 

"No. It's okay. I'll talk to Ten and we can go." 

He didn't say anything, but Donghyuck's gaze momentarily changed. 

"I won't tell him anything. Just that we have something to take care of. You know Ten, he's a good guy. He won't pry," Mark explained, correctly interpreting Donghyuck's silence. 

Something very childish happened then. It looked as if Donghyuck was leaning in to hug him, and Mark, though he didn't do well with hugs, spread his arms too. Perhaps embarrassed, thinking he was overstepping some boundaries, Donghyuck pulled back, but the sight of Mark's willingness had him open his arms again. By then, Mark had already crossed them back against his chest in nervousness, floundering. They repeated the process a couple times, like a faulty recording, before Donghyuck burst into laughter and pushed Mark's hands back down in his lap, putting a stop to it. 

Mark was about to let himself be swallowed by the embarrassment of the failed hug, but there was something soothing about hearing Donghyuck's laughter after the all the hurt in his voice. 

"Thank you, Mark," the younger said. His expression was still more lively after the incident, but his tone was grave, earnest. 

"It's okay. I've... got your back," he replied lamely, but he meant it. To move on from the seriousness of the moment, since he noticed Donghyuck didn't look ready to reveal any more, he added, "How long will we be staying? Do I need to bring something out of the ordinary?" 

A weak but grateful smile touched Donghyuck's lips. "Not... too long, I hope. But then, I don't really know. I... Alright, this is dumb as well, this whole situation is imposing too much--" 

He was about to go into another nervous rant about how much he was inconveniencing Mark, so the older knew he had to stop it. He spotted the teddy bear in the corners of his eyes and grabbed it quickly. 

"Can I take Mr Snowflake?" he asked, holding the toy by both hands and making him 'walk' in his lap. 

Donghyuck blinked once, twice, thrice. Then his lips curled up to one side. "Your plushie has a name?" 

"What real toy doesn't?" 

Mark could only think of blooming cherry trees in spring as Donghyuck laughed, shaking his head but taking Mr Snowflake from his hold anyway. He brought him close to his face and touched his big, shiny black nose to his own. "He's cute. You can bring him, just be aware Haeun might steal him if you're not careful." 

"Pff!! He'll come back to me even if she does." 

"Oh my God, Mark... We're not in Toy Story, you know," Donghyuck whined, but there was softness behind his eyes. And, if there was still a hint of hurt too, Mark felt he'd be okay. He just hoped the trip would have a similar outcome. 

They took a bus in the early morning, as his parents didn't live in the city. The entire two hour drive, Donghyuck told him random, funny stories, and insisted they play games like word chain, or even noughts and crosses or hangman on his phone. He'd win all of them, too, though once every half dozen defeats Mark suddenly began winning a few of his own. It was too systematic for Mark to believe it was not premeditated, but Donghyuck wouldn't admit to letting him win regardless of how much Mark complained. 

Mark didn't ask anything. Donghyuck was his usual self, grinning and making smart comments, but at times Mark noticed the discomfort or nervousness beneath it, so he didn't want to unrest him further. He did worry, though, both about him and what they were about to do. 

As they stood on the path leading to the semi-detached house Donghyuck had grown up in, uneasiness crept up Mark's spine. 

"You okay?" Donghyuck asked, and Mark glanced his way only to find him taking in a deep breath. 

"Me? What about you?" 

"I'll be fine," he said, before turning to Mark. "You don't have to do this, you know. It's not to late to-" 

"Donghyuck, stop with this. I don't regret being here. I don't know how things'll go down, but aside from that... it's okay," Mark said, clasping his shoulder firmly, as a means to show him they were in it together. 

"Okay. Alright. Thank you," he mouthed the last part, a spark of gratitude in his eyes. 

_Okay_... it was curious how much this word eased both of them when said by the other. 

Following the knock, the door opened so abruptly and forcefully that it made Mark take a step back and wonder just how a door could resist repeated such treatment. 

"Hyuckie!!" a shrill, jubilant cry came, and the next second the petite figure of a young girl was wrapped around Donghyuck, her head buried in his chest, the highest it could reach. 

"Haeunie," Donghyuck cooed, patting her head fondly, before cupping it in both hands and making her look at up him. "Look at you, you've grown so much. I might've not even recognised you had I passed you down the street." He squeezed her face, making her plump, smooth features morph into an adorable expression, and him laugh. "Cute!" 

Haeun swatted his hands away and stuck her tongue out at him. "Hmph, as if you didn't see me at Sehyun's graduation," she grumbled, but didn't look at all upset. 

"It's been a while since then, sis. You've reached the beautiful age of constant, frustrating changes, I bet you'll look different even next week." 

"Well _you_ haven't changed at all," she accused. 

"Huh?! Blasphemy! I'm at my most beautiful for sure. Right, Mark?" 

With their attention turned towards him, Mark blushed, crossing his arms. "Uh, I don't really know how you looked before, so..." 

"Hyuckie? Who's this?" the girl asked, black eyes fixed on Mark. She had some of Donghyuck's characteristic youthfulness and their noses were near identical, but her hair was jet black and her lips thin. Despite her small frame, her eyes glimmered with intelligence and spirit. Mark would have given her more than fourteen years based off her appearance alone. Her behaviour, however, was very childlike.

Donghyuck urged him to introduce himself with a bob of the head. "Hi, Haeun. I'm Mark," he said, stretching a hand for her to shake. She took it and simpered at him, and indeed, their smiles were so similar. It made him wonder what her brother had looked like as a child himself.

"Hiya Mark. Hyuck didn't tell me he had a new friend."

A scoff. "Well did you tell me about Jaewan? My little sister got her first boyfriend and she didn't even let me--"

Haeun grabbed her brother by the hand and dragged him inside, halting his exasperating statements. Donghyuck threw a pout after Mark, who only followed with a laugh.

"Mum! Dad! Sehyun! Hyuck's here!" she called once inside.

It was a rather old fashioned house, but clean and comfortable. Salmon, silk curtains framed the windows and engulfed the room and its occasionally ostentatious furniture in a rosy light, a colour that, if a few shades darker, would have generated anguish or distress. As it were, it created a relaxing ambience, especially coupled with the fragrant smell of sweet, baked goods trailing in the air. After Donghyuck's description of his parents, Mark had expected a luxurious space, boastfully showcasing their own and their children's achievements (diplomas, work photos, perhaps even medals) instead of family photos or memorabilia. Indeed, he almost felt at home, or at the very least calm.

The same couldn't be said about Donghyuck when his parents entered the room. It might've been a Saturday morning, but the tall, imposing, grizzled man and the sophisticated, if cordial woman with soft features both looked like they could be heading to a meeting at that very moment.

If Haeun's appearance -who was hanging by his side, latched onto his arm- had rekindled Donghyuck's joy, he'd now trained his face into a cool, apathetic smile.

"Mother, father," he said stiffly, bowing his head. "It's been a while. Sadly we couldn't see you at Sehyun's graduation." He was brazen, overconfident again, and it seemed to Mark that the affirmation was meant to sting. After all, who didn't come to their daughter's high school graduation? A hint of gloom passed his mother's features, but his father remained impassive.

"Something important came up, Donghyuck. We would have come if we could have," she said.

"Don't humour him, Seohee," the father said. He stepped closer. "We didn't expect to see you around for a while to come. Let me guess, is it because you need something?" 

A flash of ice illuminated Donghyuck's eyes, and it chilled Mark too. He didn't know whether to intervene or not. It was too inappropriate to. 

Donghyuck shook his head and his expression regained its detached quality. "I never have, have I? I just thought I'd pay a visit. I had time to spare." 

"Of course you did."

"Dad, is that any way to greet Hyuck? It's been nearly a year, I know you're happy to see him too," came an amused, sweet voice, and a girl not that much taller than Haeun walked in, yellow apron wrapped tightly around her slender waist, as she took her oven gloves off. There was something incredibly kind about her, and the tension in the air dissolved upon her arrival. She set a delicate hand on her father's arm, then approached Donghyuck and patted his cheek. "Hyuck, hot headed or not, let's get along, hm? I'm glad to see you again so soon. And who's this?" 

Donghyuck's smile softened. "Sehyun. This is Mark." 

Sehyun shot Mark a pretty grin. There truly was something soothing yet strong about her presence, and Mark instantly understood why she wanted to be (and would do a brilliant job at being) a psychologist. 

"Oh, yes, Mark! It's you who made my graduation bouquet, right? It was the loveliest selection of flowers I've seen. Thank you," she said, with the very warmth of a fireplace in winter. 

"It's nothing. Donghyuck can take just as much credit for it. Congratulations, by the way," Mark said, returning her smile and simultaneously remembering he hadn't even said anything to her parents. He bowed respectfully, not forgetting his manners. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he continued, not entirely sure he meant it after seeing how just being around them affected Donghyuck, "I hope I won't be a bother." 

"Of course you won't," Sehyun said, and behind her their mother nodded amiably. 

"We'll do our best to be as accommodating as possible, Mark," she said. Even Donghyuck's father shook his hand. Perhaps something could be salvaged, after all. 

"And I'll try to be as manageable as can be," he assured, seeing Donghyuck's eyes locked on him. He offered the younger an encouraging smile. 

"Oh, you need to leave your things somewhere! You'll be staying the night, yes? Perhaps longer? Hyuck, you know I took your room, but I can sleep with Haeun while you're here. And Mark..." Sehyun winced. "We'd give you the guest room, but we've had... difficulties with a couple of squirrels who moved in not long ago." 

"Wait, we have squirrels now? Can I go see them?" Donghyuck said excitedly, but his father let out a sound of displeasure which Sehyun took as initiative to avoid such a scenario. 

"No... We had someone take a look yesterday, but apparently they've done a lot of damage in the ceiling and walls, so they'll have to return in a few days to block all exits and repair the rest. They have babies too, so they suggested we leave them be until they find a solution," she explained. "Let's just go upstairs and figure it out, hm?" 

They left the parents downstairs to take care of their own business and soon arrived in a room whose theme could only be described as being... yellow. As much yellow as possible, in random corners and of various shades. When Donghyuck had revealed yellow was Sehyun's favourite colour, Mark couldn't have imagined he'd meant it quite so literally.

They set their bags on the two armchairs by the window, before Donghyuck plopped down on the bed with a deep sigh. If an outsider had seen him, they would have thought he had been on the road for days and was properly exhausted. 

"Hyuck," Sehyun said, a gentle warning in her voice. He just stuck her tongue out at her and continued to lie down in his outside clothes. To her dismay, Haeun jumped right next to him, laughing. 

"Don't worry so much, Sehyun. I betcha Mark will start thinking you're my older sister with how prim and proper you are."

Mark flushed as all their eyes landed on him. "Well, no... I know you're younger," he began, but Donghyuck sent him a meaningful look, "...But you do seem very mature, yeah."

"It must just be because these pranksters are my siblings. But it's nice of you to try to soften the blow, Mark. Would that be what Hyuck likes about you?" she asked, and it was amazing to Mark how you could hear the smile in her voice.

"Who said I like him, huh? And anyway, didn't you hate me, Markles?" Donghyuck, mischievous as always, joked. Mark knew he was, but it made the still present shame of how he'd acted in the past resurface, especially spotting the bewildered looks on the girls' faces.

"That was a long time ago, Donghyuck," he muttered, voice muted.

Donghyuck laughed, such a boisterous thing that he lost one of his slippers in the process. "Mark, you don't have to take things so seriously. You and Sehyun will be the end of me."

"And you of us," Sehyun said, taking a seat in one of the two plush armchairs and inviting Mark to do the same, which he did.

In the meantime, Haeun nuzzled closer to her brother. "I missed you. You need to come more often," she complained, voice coming out funny from the strain her position was putting on her throat. Because of that, as well as how small she appeared cuddled up to him, she looked like an actual child. 

"Nah, Haeun... if I don't stray far from home how'll I awake in you the desire to see me?"

"Mean," Haeun said.

"I try." He chuckled and patted her head again. "Anyway, you should come visit me yourself. There's lots to do around the city. And you'd finally see Sissi! It's exhausting taking good photos of her, you'll see once you're the one who tries to do it. Maybe then you'll understand my frustration with cats."

"Pfff, mum and dad wouldn't let me come on my own!"

Donghyuck made an exaggerated face of contempt. "They take the fun out of everything! You're already fourteen, why wouldn't they? Just come without telling them."

"Don't give her any ideas, Hyuck," Sehyun chided.

He laughed and threw Mark a look, as if the girl's instruction had reminded him of him. "You know I've only ever taught her proper things, Sehyun. She knows I'm joking... For the most part." 

Mark wasn't sure what to believe. It seemed to him that though Donghyuck was indeed someone who appreciated fun and freedom, he also wouldn't teach his youngest sister anything unseemly. He cared too much about her, that was for sure.

"You'll come see me someday, there's all the time in the world. But I'm sure Sehyun's been a great sister even if I'm not around."

"Yeah, but you know she'll be leaving soon too."

That put a halt to whatever playful remark Donghyuck had prepared, whether because the subject had finally arisen, or because he'd just realised what else Sehyun's departure entailed.

He sat up, disturbing Haeun's peaceful position, and pulled his legs under him. Haeun also looked a bit skittish - she had probably remembered the subject needed to be debated. Donghyuck's visit wasn't accidental. 

"Yes, she will, won't she?" Donghyuck began, tone an even mix between serious and teasing. "And? Where will she be going?"

Sehyun grimaced. She was evidently uneasy, if still composed. "I knew you'd want to talk about it. But Mark doesn't have to hear all this, Hyuck. I'm sure that's not why he came."

Well, that was exactly why he'd come. Naturally, it felt like the worst idea now that he was actually faced with it. He was intruding, likely making Sehyun uncomfortable, and the worst thing was that he couldn't get up and leave without hurting Donghyuck's feelings either. So no matter what he chose, he'd end up negatively impacting someone.

He looked apologetically Sehyun's way, hoping that, at least, if he were to stay, he'd contribute somewhat to boosting her desire to choose the path that made her happy. She seemed to get the message and even smiled softly at him. Mark couldn't comprehend how she still could despite the absurd situation, but it made his admiration for her grow.

"Alright. I'm going to med school. We don't have to argue over it."

Donghyuck and Haeun both groaned. 

"Sis, you're being ridiculous!" the youngest exclaimed, a surprising outburst.

Donghyuck squeezed her shoulder. "Haeun, didn't Sehyun mention something about a pie? Has anyone taken it out?"

"Yeah, she did right before you arrived," she muttered.

"And there's nothing more to be taken care of downstairs?"

Haeun glared at him. It was obvious he was trying to get her to leave so they could talk about the... problem. Donghyuck held her gaze. Regardless how headstrong she might've been, who could help but give in when faced with both Donghyuck's smart smile and his stubbornness?

"Ugh, fine," Haeun whined, pushing herself off the bed and heading to the door. "But I'm not a kid anymore, alright?"

"I'd never dream of thinking you were, Haeun," Donghyuck said, and they both made funny faces at each other before she left. Once alone, he turned to his other sister. "Sehyun..." 

Her features became downcast. "I know what you're going to say, Hyuck. We don't have to talk about it." 

"We don't have to talk about it? Isn't that something our parents would say?" he accused. Sensing where this was headed, Mark clandestinely stood up from the armchair and took a seat next to Donghyuck. 

Sehyun sighed. "Is anything going to change if we do talk about it?" 

"I sure hope so," he said. He noticed the aggression in his tone and lowered his voice, "Sehyun. I'm not trying to be patronising. But you know I can't just sit around idly while you do this to yourself. It's your life, not theirs." 

"And I'm making this decision, yes." 

"Sehyun, listen to yourself. It's clearly just to please them, how's that any sort of decision?" 

"Then I'll live with the consequences, but it's still my decision, my responsibility. They're not making the decision for me. Whatever I choose, it's my burden to bear," she said calmly. 

Mark felt Donghyuck tense next to him. "There you go, with your psychology. And you're gonna take up medicine?" 

Sehyun faltered, shook her head, then the words trailed off her lips sadly, "Nothing is quite so black and white, Hyuck. Sometimes... sometimes you have to adapt." 

"Adapt? You're telling me about adapting? Yes, you do, but not to this! They can't take this choice from you. Don't see you see what'll happen if they do?" 

"Hyuck... I don't want to cause them more hurt." 

It was like Mark saw something physically break in Donghyuck. His fist was tightened by his side, and for a moment Mark considered holding it. 

"Sehyun... I'm not saying this for you to follow in my footsteps. But what I did... Whether or not it upset them, it has nothing to do with you. Nothing, okay? This is your future, your choice, your dream. Don't let them intimidate you into letting go of that. I know everyone talks of happiness and it's become this clique thing, but you can't let go of it. Med school isn't for you, you know that. And forget about med school itself, I don't know how'd handle the blood or the insane responsibility that comes with being a doctor. I think you'd be stressed twenty four seven. Coping with a patient's death... I don't think you could do it, you'd blame yourself forever. But maybe I'm wrong, no? Could you? Tell me honestly." 

Sehyun's gaze lowered to her lap, a silence that confirmed Donghyuck's words accompanying it. When she broke it, a sense of unease still drifted between them. 

"It's a done deal, Hyuck. I've applied already, I have the marks for it, I just have to wait for them to approve my application." 

Donghyuck's lips formed a half smile, but Mark noticed his face was still not giving much away. There was that calculated, simple expression set on it, the one he so easily retreated to when something troubled, perturbed or asked too much of him.

"What about the other application?" his friend said, and the girl's eyes shot up in shock. 

"I told Haeun not to-" 

"And she told me anyway. She's worried, Sehyun. So am I. Yes, fine, you care about them, but you have to care about yourself first. If they cared a bit more about you, they wouldn't make you do this either. You've already applied for that psychology uni, and I bet you'll get in. Forget about med school, come on. It's what you've wanted for as long as I can remember. It's you."

Doubt unfurled across Sehyun's face, deeper with every word. Seeing it, Donghyuck gave Mark a pleading look. What with Mark's temperament and honest, simple way of being, he must've assumed he could get through to her. 

"Sehyun, I don't know if it's my place, but Donghyuck's right," he began, swallowing hard. He tried only to think that Donghyuck needed his help, not that he was overstepping. It helped that Sehyun seemed open to his intervention. He focused on her kind aura, and thought that she deserved to be reassured by those around her in this situation.

"The thing is... I kind of understand. I took up programming in uni because... honestly, at that time it seemed like the choice for me, but now that I think about it, it was mostly just about... comfort. Everyone's always told they can have a stable, great future in programming. Since I was so set on it, wrong reasons or not, I didn't have a problem during uni. But I also... never really felt like it was for me, either, if that makes sense. It was fine, in a way, since programming wasn't all bad, I didn't hate it, I was used to it, but still, if I had found a job after uni... I don't know how happy I'd be now, to be honest."

Mark often remembered those days, days that had come and left to the sound of pages flipping and the extensive use of his keyboard. They had come and left and Mark wondered if they had actually meant anything. All that dedication, all the hard work poured into something that didn't actually matter to him. Still, they had brought to him where he was, made him who he was, and for that much he was grateful.

"It's amazing to do something that you genuinely like, you know? Ever since I've been working at the flower shop, it doesn't feel like I'm working. A lot of people probably think it's childish or a silly career, but it's done more for me than anything I learnt during those years in uni. I don't really regret choosing programming... it's in the past now, and it was my decision, but you... A doctor and a psychologist kinda seem related, but they involve very different things. Don't you think it might make you miserable if you were to go through with it? Would you be able to say 'Hey, this was a mistake, let me choose another uni' after a few years in? Wouldn't you feel stuck?"

Sehyun looked more unsure than ever. Her resolve likely hadn't been strong to begin with, but two people asking and saying everything she must've been wondering herself had to crack the facade.

"I..."

" _You_ need to talk to them tonight," Donghyuck supplied. He'd walked up to her, knelt by the armchair and was now squeezing her upper arms. If he'd softened when talking about either her or Haeun, now that softness was infinitely more accentuated. Mark bit his lip and for some reason, couldn't look away.

"I've tried, Hyuck. They don't listen. And I can't push and push and-"

____

"You _can_. You're so much stronger than you realise, Sehyun. You inspire so much strength and faith in others, you just need to see that for yourself too. And I'll be there to help."

____

Hurt was so prominent on Sehyun's face that Mark spoke without thinking, "I will too."

____

Donghyuck's eyes as he looked at him were to difficult to decipher, so Mark focused on the thanks in Sehyun's instead. He shook his head to signify there was no need.

____

"Alright. We can try. I don't know if anything will change but-"

____

"But it will," Donghyuck assured. "But since Mark's here and dinner's ages away, let's not worry too much about it yet, yeah?"

____

Sehyun nodded weakly and a smile reappeared on her lips, still so warm. "Mm. Let's... let's call Haeun back."

____

"Oh, I saw her peeking from behind the door way back when Mark started speaking. No, don't run away, you're no coward, hm?" The door opened slowly to reveal the young girl with her ears all red. She looked defiantly at them. "You just couldn't resist, could you?"

____

"Mark was allowed to stay but I wasn't, that's a bit unfair. How is it my fault?" she said cheekily and shrugged.

____

Feeling a lot less awkward than before, perhaps because of the serious conversation he'd contributed to or just the dynamics between the siblings, Mark joked, "You really are Donghyuck's sister."

____

A small laugh escaped Sehyun's lips, while Haeun stuck her tongue out at him playfully. It was remarkable how comfortably she showcased her youthfulness at an age where so many were keen on appearing grown-up. Out of the corner of his eye, Mark thought he saw Donghyuck surveying him, but decided not to check the verity of that.

____

____

The day passed by quickly. Whether Donghyuck had intended it or not, he had to go along with it as the sisters took it upon themselves to let Mark in on the complexity that was the Lee family. Or rather, the complexity that Donghyuck himself was. They told him stories of all the crazy things their brother had done - and there seemed to be a hefty list, indeed.

____

"I was like eight or nine at the time, so he must've been around Haeun's age now," Sehyun recalled, a hint of Donghyuck's mischievousness in her eyes, "There was this guy he didn't like at all, and since he didn't manage to get through to him nicely, he took matters into his own hands."

____

"Uh-oh," Mark mouthed.

____

"...He set our neighbour's dog on him."

____

Mark nearly chocked on a breath of air. Donghyuck patted his back, as if that could bring any reassurance. "Chill! His name's Mickey for a reason. He barks if you tell him to," ("If _you_ tell him to," Haeun added) "But he doesn't bite. The guy was just scared of his own shadow. A cat would've scared him. He even climbed up a tree, it was hilarious!"

____

"And Hyuck made Mickey guard the tree the entire night."

____

"You left the poor guy in a tree the entire night?" Mark asked, unsure whether it was appropriate to laugh or not.

____

"Yup. He deserved it! He bullied people at school every day and found it funny. The teachers never did anything about it either. He deserved to see how it felt for himself. And anyway, it's not like he got hurt or anything. Mickey isn't even scary. Ha, he acted tough and mighty around the kids at school, but didn't actually have an ounce of bravery to speak of," Donghyuck huffed, shrugging as if he had no regrets. 

____

"And? Did he stop after that?"

____

"Sorta. Most kids found out what happened and he was too embarrassed to continue. He was probably scared they'd set their dogs or older friends or something on him too." 

____

Mark finally laughed, which drew a surprisingly tender smile from Donghyuck. There was no denying that the guy had deserved it. 

____

"One time he camped at school!" Haeun announced. Mark threw an incredulous look Donghyuck's way.

____

"Whaaat? I wanted to cross it off my bucket list," Donghyuck explained.

____

"Why was that even on your bucket list to begin with....?"

____

"Why not? Anyway, it was fun, I had to use a torch to get around and all. Didn't do anything crazy if that's what you're thinking, I mostly sat around and chilled in the tent. But I did go into the teacher's office, just to see what the big fuss was about. Trust me, there's.. nothing special about it. Though it would've been better if I'd taken someone with me." He paused, then inched closer to Mark, face right up in his with a devilish grin. "Say, why don't we do it together one day? We could go to Chenle's uni and camp there for the night."

____

Mark gasped. "Donghyuck! We'd get him in trouble!"

____

"He'll be starting his second year soon anyway, a bit of trouble is to be expected, professors won't bat an eyelash." They held eye contact, one amused and one firm and frowning. Eventually, Donghyuck laughed, poking Mark's cheek - he loved doing that. "I was just messing with you, Markles. Wanted to see your reaction. You have the best ones."

____

"Honestly, he was probably half serious," Sehyun said.

____

"Yeah, if you'd said yes he would've started planning it already," Haeun added. 

____

Donghyuck pouted, but didn't deny it. Of course he didn't. Worst part is, Mark momentarily considered the possibility of actually doing such a thing. Just what kind of influence did Donghyuck have over him?

____

To Mark's delight, they also showed him photos of baby Donghyuck, who had the chubbiest cheeks in existence and was laughing in most of the photos. In one, a three year old Donghyuck was sitting -since it couldn't be called wearing, considering the huge size difference- in a grow-up's shoes, wearing a huge hat on his head, hat which was seconds from falling on his face, and holding a handset to his ear. In another, an older Donghyuck was hiding behind a Christmas tree with another boy, both sticking their tongues out at the camera.

____

"Who's he?" 

____

Donghyuck let out a huff, but it wasn't aggressive - rather, nostalgic. "Jeno. He was my childhood best friend. We were very, very close." 

____

"Not anymore?" Mark asked, hesitant. 

____

"He moved abroad when we were like twelve or something. We kept in contact, maybe a year... then the calls stopped."

____

Mark patted his back, the best comforting gesture he could muster. "Did you ever try to get back in contact with him?" 

____

"Once, one time I sort of... needed him, I guess," he said, then cringed at his own wording. "Not because I wanted to use him or anything, I don't mean it that way. But I... well, I guess I would have liked talking to him. Give the friendship another shot." He put on a smile, shrugging. Evidently, his attempt hadn't been successful. "But that's all in the past. No need to look so sad. Friendships don't usually last very long and that's okay."

____

Did that mean Jeno wasn't the only friend he'd lost? Even so, that was a sad statement to make, and Mark had to feel discouraged knowing that Donghyuck saw things that way. "Not all do," he said quietly. 

____

Donghyuck chuckled, leaning back against the wall. "Well, when you say it, I'm inclined to believe it, Markles."

____

"This is my favourite!" Haeun exclaimed, putting an end to their conversation. Looking back at the album, Mark found a ridiculous, badly framed polaroid selfie of 16-17 year old Donghyuck, in which he'd probably been trying to balance a few teacups on his head, but they fell right as the photo had been taken, Donghyuck's face contorting in the shock of what was to happen. That, and some liquid had already spilled on him, which made it even better. 

____

Mark burst out into proper laughter as he saw the horror on his friend's face. "A masterpiece!" 

____

Donghyuck hit him with the pillow he'd been holding in his lap. 

____

"Let him tease you, Hyuck, you tease him all the time, don't you?" Sehyun said, but she was hiding her own giggle behind her hand. 

____

"Ugh, I told you to burn this cursed photo," he whined, throwing his head back. "I got rid of it, but it just keeps resurfacing, I don't even know where you find it." 

____

"I don't think you'll ever die this one down, pooh bear," Sehyun said.

____

"Pooh bear...?" Mark asked. 

____

"He used to love Winnie the Pooh when he was younger, didn't he tell you? And he's all playful and cute like him, so it stuck. Mostly just when we're teasing." 

____

"And I thought it couldn't get any worse!" Donghyuck lamented, clearly exaggerated. 

____

"What's the problem? That's adorable. You were adorable," Mark said.

____

At that, Donghyuck started coughing. "Am I not still?" he teased, but if Mark hadn't known any better, he would've thought the redness on the younger's cheeks was a blush.

____

_Well, yeah... you are,_ Mark wanted to say, but the girls never paused on any photo for too long. They flipped to the next page, which showed Donghyuck holding a baby in his arms, likely Haeun, and the moment slipped away. Not Mark's memory of the nickname, though. 

____

"Yep, adorable. You really are Pooh, can't believe I never saw it," he said. 

____

"Nah, that's it," Donghyuck said, jumping off the bed and plucking Mark's teddy bear from his bag. "I'm taking Mr Snowflake from you and never giving him back." 

____

He was truly playing dirty now, wasn't he? Mark stumbled out of bed too (stumbled is correct, as he nearly fell face first on the floor) and tried to grab his bear back, but Donghyuck ducked last minute. Thus commenced them running around the room, which didn't offer much space for such an activity, followed closely by the girls, each trying to prove to the other that they were Pooh, not the other way around. 

____

Despite the childishness of it all, Mark couldn't help but feel warmed by the strong bond between the siblings, the happiness which it brought to Donghyuck - and, in all truth, to him too. 

____


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is more... well, let's say emotionally charged, and so certain parts were also emotionally challenging to write. it's a special chapter to me because of that, and hopefully a bit of an insider into (at least this aspect of) hyuck's life. enjoy! ^^

As Mark well knew, good things couldn't last forever. Eventually, dinner time came, as did Donghyuck's parents. At the large pine table, Mark sat down next to his friend, both to provide the comfort he knew the younger needed, as well as to help ease his own nerves.

There was an unusual coldness in the air, more palpable after spending the day with the siblings, amid their laughter and comfortable teasing, their hugs and games. Still, conversation managed to flow, though Mark noticed Donghyuck spoke much less than he normally would have, and even less than a son who was paying his family a visit after a year should have spoken. 

Mark wasn't a child - he knew there had to be something more between him and his parents than Sehyun's predicament, if Donghyuck had to put up his façade of unreachable, impenetrable, airy control of the situation. Just what that was, he couldn't guess. 

"So, Mark, how did you meet Donghyuck?" his friend's mother asked at a point when the conversation seemed lost. 

"Oh, uh. His shop's right across the street from mine," he said, opting for the easy answer. He doubted Donghyuck would be okay with him telling his parents the history behind their friendship, even though it seemed like the kind of funny story to tell at a family dinner. 

"Is that so? You're an entrepreneur?" 

"Oh, no, no. Just a florist. My boss is the entrepreneur." Though he never hesitated in telling people about his job, he was surprised to feel a hint of shame at the admission. The woman forced a smile and nodded, but she didn't look particularly excited. 

"He makes beautiful bouquets, mum. He's got a talent," Sehyun said, and Mark appreciated her standing up for him even though she'd only ever seen one bouquet. 

Then, his father interrupted, tone condescending. "So it's true? When Sehyun told me, I couldn't believe it. You work in a shop now?" 

Donghyuck didn't spare him a glance. "Yeah, I do," he said simply. 

"Dad, let's not-" 

"So that's what you gained from your great liberation," he continued, ignoring Sehyun's plea. "You must be so pleased with yourself." 

"I never knew there was something wrong with shops, father. What would you yourself do without them?" Donghyuck said, shooting him an ironic smile. 

"I see. Is that what you tell yourself to ease the mediocrity of your job, son?"

Mark nearly gasped upon hearing something so intentionally spiteful. His parents would have never said anything like that to him, no matter what. But though no one at the table looked happy, there was no real reaction to the comment. It must not have been out of the ordinary. Donghyuck clenched his jaw but chuckled immediately after.

"Father, father, don't be a sour host. Mark works in a shop too. You don't mean to say his job isn't proper enough, do you?"

"So this is about Mark. You finally deem it worthy to stop by, but you bring Mark with you. What should I make of that?"

"There's nothing to make of it," Donghyuck said, voice low. "Let's stop this. Whatever you have to say to me has nothing to do with Mark."

His father let out a taunting laugh. "So I might as well leave or say nothing at all. I can't talk to my son because he brought a boy around, probably exactly to avoid any adult conversations. But I wouldn't want to offend Mark, would I?"

Donghyuck's nostrils flared and his body became stiff. "Father. Don't."

At the same time Mark rested a hand on Donghyuck's arm, his friend's mother reached out to her husband to ease the tension. It partially worked, but the anger didn't dissipate.

"We don't know Mark, Donghyuck. But your potential... you can do more than this. That's what your father meant," she said.

"More? What more?" Seeing as he'd raised his voice, Mark squeezed the spot where he was holding onto his friend. Donghyuck's eyes moved to his, and a moment later he sighed. His voice calmed, "It doesn't even matter. But since you brought this up, what about Sehyun? What about her potential?"

"Hyuck..." the girl began.

"No, Sehyun. We said we'd talk about it, yeah?" He turned back to his parents, smile both chilly and sad. "You asked why I've come, this is why."

"What do you mean?" his mother asked.

"You know what I mean. I just have to ask why. _Why_ push her to do something she hates when she already knows what she wants to do with her life?"

"We merely want what's best for her..." 

"In what world is this what's best for her? Sehyun, tell them." 

The girl stared at her parents for a moment, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Her eyes moved to Donghyuck, who, despite the tumult of feelings inside him, had regained a staunch and confident expression, holding her gaze both firmly and comfortingly. She glanced Mark's way too, and he gave a tiny nod. It was then that Mark saw the decision made in those soft eyes, those eyes which resembled Donghyuck's almost perfectly. 

"It's true," she said, quiet but strong. "Mum, dad... I don't want this. I don't want to be a doctor." 

"But you said you changed your-" her mother tried. 

"I didn't want to upset you. I still don't, that's not why I'm doing this, but I can't... It would make me miserable. It really would. It would eat at me." 

Their father's expression was beyond scandalised. "Sehyun, do you even hear yourself? A doctor isn't that different from a psychologist. We're not asking you to be an engineer." 

"No, but I can't, dad. They're nothing alike. They... They involve very different things. And even if they were similar somehow, a doctor still isn't a psychologist, and that's what I want to be." 

"What kind of life are you going to live as a psychologist? Everyone is one nowadays. It's not feasible in any way." 

"Dad..." Whether her parents were as hurt as she'd thought they'd be was debatable, but Sehyun looked like doing what she was doing involved taking on the pain of a dozen people. Yet she smiled, soft and warm still. "Money isn't everything. If I earned a lot as a doctor but hated going to work, then what would that money even bring me? Wouldn't you rather know I was doing something that mattered to me? The one thing about them that isn't different is that they both involve helping people. Isn't that what really counts?" 

"That's not how the real world works, Sehyun. Ideals have no place in it. Don't try to lecture me about things you don't understand." 

"But I do understand-" 

Her father shook his head and returned to his plate of food as if he hadn't heard anything from what she'd said. "We are not talking about this anymore. One day you'll see why we pushed you to do this," he said, stern. 

"No, dad.. Can you please just listen? Didn't you-" 

"Enough, Sehyun. Let's eat." 

It took no more than a glance towards Donghyuck for him to step in. He'd let her say her own part, but he wouldn't leave her on her own when she needed help. 

"Father, just listen to what she has to say. She's not a child anymore. This is her choice but she's willing to talk it through with you. It's more than I ever did. Give her a chance." A beat passed, then two, and his father didn't react, but his demeanour was hostile. Mark didn't know what to do, so he just squeezed again, and Donghyuck patted his hand in recognition. "Father. You always say you want adult discussions, but why do you ignore them every time they come up?" 

When his father's eyes finally raised from the plate, Mark might even have called them venomous. Nonetheless, they retained a businesslike attitude, which made them scarier still. "I should have guessed it was you who put foolish ideas in her head. Was one child running wild not enough? Are you finally seeing what a foolhardy choice you made and didn't want to be the only one to live with it?" 

"This has nothing to do with him, dad. I've always wanted this, you know that. He just reminded me of that," Sehyun intervened. 

"Of course he did. I can't understand where he keeps getting these ideas from. We've never taught you this," his father continued, eyes focused solely on Donghyuck. "But maybe we gave you too much freedom as a child and it got to your head. Or was it the crowd you hung out with?" 

Donghyuck looked torn between dry amusement and resignation. "Have you ever considered that not everything must be my fault, father?" 

"Watch how you speak to me, young man! You might be an adult and have a job now and think that means something, but we're not and won't ever be equals. There is a significant difference between us." 

It was a childish retort and it was said childishly, with that air of superiority Mark had never been able to stand. No truly superior person -if there even was such a thing- would flaunt their merits to begin with, and no true parent would look for comparison between them and their child. For it to be done so viciously indicated to Mark a faulty sense of what superiority meant. Still, those few words stung deeply. Beside him, Donghyuck was nearly shaking, though he didn't seem aware of it. It was likely unconscious, psychological even - words heard often, felt just as fully and painfully as the first time. 

"Donghyuck," Mark whispered softly, not knowing what to do. 

"I've raised you, so at least treat me with respect, since I have learnt not to expect affection from you." 

From across the table, someone stood up abruptly, loudly. It was Haeun. All eyes shot to her - she hadn't said anything throughout the conversation, but her contorted face showed that she had been paying attention. 

"I'm not going to sit and listen to this," she declared. 

"Haeun, sit down," her mother instructed, but she shook her head vehemently. 

"No! No, I won't! I won't sit around while you say stuff like that to Hyuck. Not anymore. He's done absolutely nothing wrong. Sehyun too! You act like you know everything, but you don't! If you did, you'd know respect isn't owed, it's earned. They won't yell, but I will, I don't care. Why won't you listen? The way you're acting, Mark will start thinking you don't even care about them. Anyone would think that. And here's Sehyun, only thinking about your happiness. What about hers? What about Hyuck's? I'm sick of this." 

It hadn't been petulant or stormy just for the sake of it, nor impulsive. The discussion had clearly upset her enough to lash out. 

"For once, listen! It's not a lot to ask for. Or at least don't say things like that! I don't care if you don't see it, but they hurt. They don't deserve to hear them. Who even cares about superior and inferior in a family? They're your children and you should teach them all the stuff you know so much of, instead of cutting off their head for having their own thoughts!" 

Her parents both tried to speak, frozen though they seemed, but she never gave them the chance. She pushed back from the table and left the room in a hurry, not even looking back when her father called in anger after her. Surprise was imprinted on Donghyuck's face, but there was gratitude in his eyes. It had been an outburst that would likely result in Haeun's punishment later on, but Mark appreciated her bravery and her words, as they were exactly what he felt. He just regretted not being able to say them himself. Perhaps he should have, social norms be damned. 

Soon after, their mother sat up too, attempting a smile. They really appreciated pretenses, didn't they? 

"We're all very tired. I trust you'll find a place for Mark to sleep, won't you Sehyun? Rest well, all of you. Good night." 

More or less fuming, their father followed her out, not forgetting to throw Donghyuck another snide remark, which Mark didn't even hear. He was too worried about his friend to bother with it. 

Still, Donghyuck smiled again, tired and definitely forced, helped Sehyun with the dishes, tried to lift up her spirits, complimented her pie. Always changed the subject when she tried to comfort him too, laughed a bit too much. And yet it worked: the pressing atmosphere floated away, word by word, joke by joke, practiced attitude at the base of it. How did he manage to lighten the mood even in this state? 

"We'll figure it out, okay? It'll be alright. What's important is you sent in your application where it matters. We'll figure out the rest somehow," Donghyuck said as they approached their rooms. "But... Haeun... Should I-" 

"I'll talk to her, don't worry. You two need rest," Sehyun assured. "About the sleeping arrangements-" 

"I've got it covered. Just take care of Haeun and sleep soon, yeah?" 

Once the two siblings had hugged, a strong, comforting touch they both tried to ease the other with, they entered their respective rooms. 

Donghyuck didn't turn on the lights, just the fairy lights hung above the bed. He seemed a bit lost, standing idly by the window once he'd done so. His shoulders had slumped and he wasn't saying anything. Mark hated seeing him this way, even wanted to hug him, but something told him Donghyuck needed some space. 

"Donghyuck... Are you okay?" Mark finally willed himself to say. His friend nodded almost on command, almost as if he'd been expecting the question. 

"Mhm. It didn't work out very well but I kinda knew it wouldn't. It's just the start though, it'll be fine. There was progress, y'know? I told Sehyun we'd figure it out. We will." 

"That's not what I-" He hadn't asked anything about the progress, the question had been about him. 

"I'm sorry you had to see all of that, Mark. My father's sorta difficult," Donghyuck dodged his worry expertly, awakening a feeling of uselessness inside of Mark. Don't hide from me again, he thought, pleaded into the void. Not when you really need someone there for you. "It must've tired you a lot, right? You take the bed. I'll take the couch downstairs." 

"Donghyuck--" 

"Don't worry," he said, but there was no hint of reassurance in his blank expression. "I'm used to sleeping on couches. This one's real comfy too, so just rest without fear. You're a guest, after all." 

A guest. Yes, maybe that's what he was. 

Donghyuck started towards the door, and Mark hesitated in grabbing his arm to stop him, yet something deep in his chest hurt too much to move. Instead, he opted to mumble the most basic, most clique thing he could've said. "Donghyuck. I'm here for you. You know that, right?" 

The boy paused right before stepping outside, and faced him again. His eyes finally let go of whatever pretense they'd been holding onto, and were lost and sad and hurt and bare and honest. 

"I know," he whispered, then added wistfully, "I really do know." 

And yet he left anyway, muttering a 'good night'. This time, however, he didn't fake a smile anymore. 

A couple hours later, alone in the room, Mark couldn't sit still. The night hadn't gone according to plan, if there even had been a plan, but Donghyuck had done his best and been brave and a good brother and he was so proud of him. It wasn't an easy fight, but his self control had surprised Mark, who might've left or had an outburst upon hearing those words directed at himself. 

But was he okay? That was the only question that kept playing in Mark's head, time and time again, interrupted only by images of the younger's eyes when he'd left, the hurt right beneath the surface. 

He didn't have to think as his feet led him down the flight of stairs to the living room. Part of him was unsure what he was about to do, what he could do, but deeper down he knew he wouldn't rest a minute without talking to Donghyuck. All potential greetings died in his throat as he found the sofa empty. The same could be said about the rest of the living room, and the good portion of the kitchen that was visible. 

A pang of panic rushed through him. Could Donghyuck have marched to his parents' room to continue arguing? He held his breath, listening for some signs of a quarrel, but the ticking of the pendulum clock was the only sound in vacant space around him. Had he perhaps gone to the guest room to see the squirrels despite the warning, just to feel some sort of freedom, of warmth, to see the animals he liked? He even contemplated the possibility of him simply going to his sisters to reminisce, to forget about what had just occurred, but something told him that wasn't right. He could just wait a while longer for some signs of life, or trust Donghyuck knew what to do, knew to look for him if he needed him or not if he needed to be on his own. 

Or he couldn't. Rather, it was like some sort of instinct was propelling him towards the door, just to check. If Donghyuck wasn't outside, then he'd head to bed, and fight through the night with the knowledge that Donghyuck could take care of himself no matter how he was feeling. It wasn't comforting, but it would have to suffice. 

As soon as he stepped outside, he was met by a pleasant breeze all around, a trace of moon flowers and grass hanging in the air, but also the reality that had Donghyuck actually left, Mark couldn't possibly know where to look for him. He didn't know the city, he didn't know where he felt comfortable. Mark was just acting entitled and presumptuous and wasn't letting him breathe, just like his parents. 

It was then that he saw someone's frame in the distance, in the fluttering light of the lampposts, and recognised it to be Donghyuck's. Had Mark come out a few minutes later, he would've disappeared from sight. 

Mark took fate or destiny or just the nick of time as reason enough to start running down the street as fast as he could. 

"Donghyuck!" he called out before reaching him, voice wheezy from the effort. Donghyuck turned, but then Mark almost stumbled the last few steps, and ended up grabbing onto Donghyuck sloppily. The younger stood his ground, his hands coming up to the back of his elbows to steady him. 

"Mark? What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, and Mark would have been abashed by how he'd worried him if he hadn't been worried himself. 

"It's fine, I..." He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to adjust his breathing. He really needed to build up his stamina, this was ridiculous. Then he finally met Donghyuck's eyes and continued, "But you? Are you? Okay?" 

Donghyuck's lips parted and something Mark couldn't discern passed on his face. "I... is that why you came?" 

Running and the fear he'd overstepped more boundaries painted Mark's ears completely red. "I was worried," he admitted, albeit quietly. 

"Idiot," Donghyuck mumbled, but it sounded like anything but an insult. "I just... needed some air. You can come with, I guess." 

For once, Mark didn't latch onto the 'I guess' and took up the offer. Just being there with him was already a start, after the way he'd left him earlier. He followed him in silence for a while, corner after corner and alley after alley, until they reached a small hill, mostly barren save for a huge oak tree and a bench right at the top. Mark had noticed the city had maintained an immense amount of greenery all throughout, but this hill looked practically untouched by any human activity. 

"C'mon, there's a trail that's lots easier to climb," Donghyuck instructed. Before long, they reached the top, which overlooked a large part of the surrounding area. Donghyuck ignored the bench and plonked himself by the tree, leaning against it. Not knowing what to else to do, Mark sat down by his side. 

"It's peaceful here," Mark said, just to say something. 

Donghyuck hummed. "I used to love this hill," he said, looking into the distance. "I'd run around this tree with Jeno nearly every day. Then I grew up, and I'd come here after midnight to listen to the crickets. It was safe. Once I broke down crying on this very spot. Ah, the memories." 

Mark froze at the words. His insides churned again, torn between the need to check in on Donghyuck properly, fully, and the forever looming thought that he was intruding more and more into the life of someone who was private enough as was. Maybe they were friends now, but still, after Mark's earlier behaviour... After knowing each other for so little... It felt improper, rushed, like he was asking for too much, time and time again. 

"I missed this hill the most when I left, you know? Aside from my sisters, but that goes without saying. I have all these memories here, there's something so comforting about it... it feels a little bit more like home than home," Donghyuck continued, when a sigh overcame him. "But I guess it was a consequence I had to live with." 

All this talk of leaving, of long streaks of pain... Mark couldn't help it anymore. If he was to sink, he'd rather sink in embarrassment rather than worry. 

"Donghyuck... You asked me to come here to help, but how can I help if.. if I don't know...?" he trailed off, quiet, gentle. 

Donghyuck sighed. Unlike before, he seemed more willing to speak. Maybe he'd realised he couldn't keep everything bottled up forever. 

"Right. You're right. I just..." Their eyes met, dark irises to soft brown ones. "Mark. It's a... long story. Are you sure it's not-" 

"Are you going to ask me if it's going to trouble me or if I'm sure I can listen or something along those lines?" Mark interrupted, voice still soft, and Donghyuck looked away, flustered. 

"Okay," he said, like the word was meant to soothe him. "No, I won't. I know you... I know you always listen. Okay." 

"Just as long as you're fine with this too," Mark felt it necessary to add. 

Instead of answering, Donghyuck took a deep breath and looked back into the distance. There was none of the studied nonchalance on his face, just something plaintive. It was evident this wasn't going to be easy for him at all. 

"Okay. I don't, uh... I don't really know where to start. Growing up, I was lonely a lot. Or alone. As I said, my parents weren't really around and not, well... emotionally available, to use the word everyone's so fond of nowadays. But back then, they still... tried. Maybe because I was their first, or because they were less shackled than they are now, so I'd say I had it well, all in all. Still, when Sehyun was born, I was young, really young, but I remember it perfectly, just like it was yesterday. I just remember... being happy. Just, joyful, one of the biggest joys I'd known back then, thinking I'd have someone around. 

"The same thing happened with Haeun, though I was older then. I... I really gave them the best of me, Mark. I guess you could say I raised them. That's why I say they're the best part of me... I tried to instill in them everything I couldn't in myself. I wanted so much for them, and I really gave them my all. I don't know how, but I did and I'm so... so..." 

"Mhm." The pride and love he felt were apparent in everything he did. 

"Anyway, that's not the story you need," he continued. The words sounded heavy in his mouth, but perhaps starting with his sisters had been a way to recall the good in it all too, a way to embolden himself. "As a child, I... I guess I was really energetic. Bright. I loved meeting new people, and trying out new things, trying to do everything possible, creating random things, anything. But school... I didn't really... care. I passed, sure, and I could get good marks too, but I didn't... make an effort to. I just learnt the important things, you know? Stuff I knew would help me later on, the stuff that mattered, and I learnt, like read a lot of stuff on my own. I tried to use my time to the fullest, you know?" 

It was the sort of thing Mark would have expected of Donghyuck - he didn't seem like the sort of person to focus his energy on school. But he was definitely smart and he knew plenty, so Mark couldn't understand how that could be a problem. He'd known a lot of kids with perfect marks that, if asked, hardly had any general knowledge, nor could they even remember the things they'd received those very marks for. 

Donghyuck laughed, a cold sound in the warmth of a late July night. "You can tell my parents hated it. I was unreasonable, a disappointment, a rebel, shameful, not thinking about my future, throwing it all out the window, all of that. Nothing I did or could do ever pleased them, as long as I wasn't doing what they wanted me to as well. For a while I didn't let it get to me, I didn't want it to. And... when it did, I didn't want Sehyun to see that. So I didn't." 

His speech, ever since he'd begun, had been hushed, discontinued, interlaced with numerous intakes of breath. At times, it might've even been called inarticulate, and Mark had to strain to make out some of the words. It was difficult for Mark to pinpoint what he was feeling seeing and hearing the younger like this, and it wasn't the moment to ponder on it, but the one thing he was incredibly aware of was the way his own breathing had turned uneven and shallow. 

"That's just how it went, for a few years. I still did what I wanted to, but... it no longer felt the same. It began feeling suffocating. Strangling. Every time I returned home I was reminded that there was something wrong with... with all of it. Everything I liked. My friends. Me. Ha. And then... then I found a guitar. I must've been fifteen or sixteen, and I just randomly strung it when I found it in music class." Donghyuck paused and a faint smile took shape on his lips. "I don't really know how to describe it, Mark. I've tried to write it down, I've even dreamt about it a few times, but it just doesn't come close to what I felt in that moment." 

"Like... it spoke to you?" 

"Wow, I know how silly that sounds... but yes, maybe that's what the expression means. I don't know, Mark, but I just felt like I understood it. Like... like it made sense. There's really no way to explain it, but it was special," he said, wistfulness dancing in his eyes. Mark found he didn't need to hear an explanation - a new sort of emotion rang in Donghyuck's voice, soaked his face in a special spark. "So I knew then and there I had to learn how to play it. And I did. I watched everyone who played like a hawk, a few times I asked a music teacher to help, but a lot of it was just trial and error, again and again, whatever sounded right. I sang as much as possible too. So in like a year, I finally felt confident I'd gotten it right. 

"I started playing in random places, on the street, in pubs, anywhere they'd have me. It wasn't easy at first, but I just loved playing and singing so much that nothing else really mattered. I was so... alive, Mark. I felt like things had purpose again, like I had meaning, I could see myself doing this for.... however long. I don't like plans, but this didn't even feel like a plan. And just.. it was a way to escape, to be myself." 

"So your parents didn't know? You didn't tell them?" 

Donghyuck deflated. "No. For obvious reasons. But figures, they found out eventually, around a year into my gigs, around the time my school progress was more.. average. It was... bad. We fought." 

It looked like he couldn't say any more, and Mark noticed the light of the moon hanging above them reflected in his lachrymose eyes. His arm moved instinctively, wrapping itself around Donghyuck's back, with every bit of warmth Mark could spare. 

"It's okay. You don't have to..." Mark trailed off, worry gnawing at him. 

Something akin to a sniffle sounded next to him. Donghyuck shook his head and continued, voice low and hoarse. "That was the first time I ran away from home. Or... was kicked out, I guess. I had a year until my graduation, and my father hated it. He took my guitar, but I think he would've ruined things even if he hadn't. It was the one thing that made me happy but he just... he just... he wouldn't listen! Not for a second. I didn't know what to do, Mark. I was angrier than I think I've ever been. 

"I returned the night after, just 'cause my mum tried to calm him down a bit, but he never gave me that guitar back... to be honest, I think he broke it or something. I don't know. I was too afraid of what I might find out to search for it. It took some time, but I managed to find another. Of course I didn't stop, how could I have? I didn't hide it anymore either, I just didn't care. Maybe... maybe that was bitter and childish of me, but I wanted him to see I was happy, that I could be even if he didn't want me to. I guess it just resulted in more arguing... He always had something to say about it." 

"Like what he said today?" 

"Stuff like that, yeah. Usually more of the same." 

"It was so horrible of him to say that, Donghyuck," Mark complained, and the bubble of anger created by hearing those words resurfaced inside of him. 

"Mm." He sighed. "I'm used to it. Anyway, after a while he sort of left me alone. We stopped talking, save for arguing here and there. I guess he told himself it was just my rebellious phase and I'd get over it soon enough, that it didn't mean anything. Of course, months before graduation he was worse than ever, reminding me of his... grand plan for my future. Law school! Maybe he liked the irony of it. Thought law would set me back on the right path. There were more and more arguments. The things he's been through! The books he's read! Everything he knew! His age! I couldn't decide on my own, what did I know? I was a silly boy who had dreams of fame and grandeur!" 

"But didn't you say he was all about working and earning enough for a good life?" 

"Depends how. This isn't... honourable, I suppose." 

"But you don't even want to be famous..." 

"Tell him that! Mark, we fought so much. Again and again and _again_. It was like talking to a wall. He wasn't willing to listen to... anything. If I yelled, cried, pleaded.... what did it matter? Ha. I was done with it all, Mark. You... You get it, right? I couldn't do something I didn't want for the rest of my days. I was sick of my happiness being treated like it was negligible. If Sehyun were to go through with it, she'd hate it yet manage somehow, but I couldn't have put up with it for even a year. So I... left a month before graduation." 

Mark gasped. This he would never have guessed. "You never graduated?" 

"Nope. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just wait it through. It wouldn't have changed anything, but it's sort of... dumb how I dropped out last minute. But I was young and immature and angry and I... left. I had some money saved from gigs and that was enough. At least for a bus ride out of the city and then paying for random nights in whatever cheap motels I could find." 

"Donghyuck..." Mark found himself saying with a pang of hurt. He must have felt so alone, so hurt, betrayed even. At around eighteen, to take life into his own hands, after years of constant frustration, of being told him and his interests weren't good enough. No one should have to be thrown out into the world so abruptly. Even if Mark knew Donghyuck was the sort of person to make it through anything, ingenious and hard working and charming altogether, it couldn't have been easy, least of all emotionally. Surviving isn't the problem - it's more about how you do it. 

"It's okay, Mark. It wasn't the easiest, but I managed." 

"But... it's been five years, right? You've been on your own for five years? Without any support?" 

Ironically enough, Donghyuck was the one to pat his knee in consolation. "Don't worry, Markles. It worked out. I earned enough through my gigs, and there were sometimes people who... helped. Johnny helped the most." 

This was one of the stories Mark was most curious about, about how Johnny had come into Donghyuck's life. It seemed a happy memory to Donghyuck too, as a soft, nostalgic smile took shape on his lips. 

"It was like... two or three years ago? He stood up for me in the face of a cranky, displeased crowd. You know how he commands respect, so things calmed down quickly enough. He took me out for lemonade after, and we... clicked. He honestly felt like an older brother, which is funny, given he's also five years older than me. Maybe he was even the father I..." He let out a sad sort of murmur and didn't continue his thought. "When I mentioned I didn't really have a proper place to live, he like... took me in. I've lived with him ever since. He didn't earn that much either, but together things worked out. His family was always there for him too, they're just wonderful. Then a year ago he started working on his own business and... here we are." 

"That's..." 

"Melodramatic? Cringey? A tearjerker? Silly?" Donghyuck said, staging playfulness, but Mark saw right through it. He was just as affected by the story as he'd been when he'd started telling it. 

"Sad. It's sad," Mark said, and it came out strained. "I'm sorry, Donghyuck. You didn't... you don't deserve any of that." 

That wasn't comforting in any way, but Mark truly couldn't say more after hearing everything, especially with the way it had been said. He just felt... suffocated. Hearing Donghyuck's story had been more painful than he'd expected. 

"I'm used to it. It's not a big-" 

"It _is_. It _is_ a big deal and it _is_ dumb and you don't have to say it's not." 

Donghyuck held his breath as his eyes found Mark again. Mark used the moment to properly examine them, and was surprised to find them candid and forlorn, almost innocent, like those of a child. 

"I hate it though, Mark. I just... I don't... I don't see what else I could've done, but I also... It's one of my biggest regrets. Leaving Sehyun and Haeun alone... Who knows how father was during that time, what with his temper. They never complained but I was so, so worried. I hated it every single day. I called as often as I could, but it wasn't easy for me or them. And now... " He turned his head to the side and looked up, blinking rapidly, as if to hold back tears. 

"Now I hate it more than ever. Mark... If I hadn't left, if there hadn't been a precedent... maybe they wouldn't be doing this to Sehyun now. A psychologist isn't that bad a job compared to my... to everything I did. And she's such a good kid, gets amazing marks and takes part in all these projects and so much more. If I'd just..." 

"Donghyuck. It's not your fault," Mark said sternly. The younger shook his head in denial, so Mark grasped his arm. "It isn't. You had nothing to with this. I mean it. What could you have done, given up your happiness? Freedom? You did what was best for you and I'm sure your sisters don't blame you for it. No, I know they don't. I've been here one day and it's clear they care about you as much as you care about them." 

"Mark, yes, but I left--" 

"And regretted it. I know how much they mean to you, Donghyuck. One of the first things I saw in you, angry as I was, was your love for Sehyun. I don't doubt it for a second, and neither could they. But this isn't on you. Even if you weren't in the equation, your parents' ideas would be the same. They'd push this onto Sehyun, ignoring what she wants, same as they did you. If you'd been successful like they wanted, they'd have used you as an example. It has nothing to do with you. Never take the blame for things you haven't done. You're doing the most for them now, and that's all that matters. Okay?" 

The ghost of a smile pulled at Donghyuck's lips. "Yeah. I guess you're right." 

"Okay?" Mark repeated and held Donghyuck's gaze, wanting to hear it. 

"Ha, Mark... You really are one of a kind. But, yes... okay." The younger smiled sadly, and for a second they stayed like that, almost unaware how close they'd gotten. Then Donghyuck cleared his throat. "Mark.. Thank you. For today. During dinner... I might not have done it without you. At least not so maturely. Thank you." 

Mark pressed his lips together tightly. "I wish I'd actually done something. Haeun was so much braver than me. I should've stood up for you, too." 

To his surprise, Donghyuck grabbed both of his hands and turned fully towards him. "Mark. You did enough. More, even. Just being there meant a lot more than you'd think. And here, now... it means a lot. I never.. expected this. So thank you. And you'd best accept it!" His joke at the end dulled the impact of the confession, making Mark break into a chuckle, but he knew the younger was sincere. 

"Okay. I meant it when I said I was here for you. But... thank you for being so open with me too, Hyuck. I know it's not easy for you." 

Donghyuck blinked at him for a moment, then his whole face softened. "Well, if we've reached this point, tell me. Is there anything else you want to know?" 

The emotional burden the story had come with was difficult to bear for Mark, so he wondered how Donghyuck himself felt. He could think of a few questions, but they weren't important, and he didn't want to cause the younger more pain tonight. Calm, steady, patient steps. There was no rush. The simple fact that Donghyuck had confided in him, nearly unprompted, fully and extensively, touched Mark. Wait. No, actually, there was something. 

"Why me, Donghyuck?" 

"What?" 

"Out of everyone." Though was there much of anyone? "Letting me come, talking to me. All this. Why me?" 

Donghyuck thought for a long moment, then offered Mark a small grin. "I don't know either. It's... different with you. I feel like I can open up to you. I feel comfortable. I don't know. We've been over this - we're strange, the both of us. What's a bit more strangeness to boot?" 

Perhaps strange was a good enough word to describe the core of their dynamics, yes. Strange, not strange... it didn't matter, when a surprisingly warm thought wandered through Mark's brain: that pretenses, half truths and evasions were replaced with trust, sincerity and understanding . 

The younger must have noticed his contentment. He let it pass between them, no more words said, a short but special moment. Then he spoke again. "I have one. Not a question, more of a request." 

He sounded deadly serious, but Mark felt ready regardless. "What is it?" 

"Stop with the whole blaming yourself for how things started," he said, to the older's surprise. He'd never voiced his frustration or shame, never once mentioned it even to the other boys. Donghyuck shrugged idly, as if the information was widespread, perhaps even banal. "I'm not blind, Mark. Maybe I'm just accustomed to seeing the giveaway signs of things like that. Maybe your emotions are just too easy to read, didn't I tell you so? It doesn't matter. Just don't. We both had our own little part in it. I'm over it. We're over it. I don't blame you. You apologised, and that feels like ages ago anyway." 

Mark stared, unsure how to reply. Donghyuck wasn't going to accept any sentence that started with 'but', and those were the only ones that came to mind. 

"We all... make mistakes. We grow. It's okay," Donghyuck added. Once he'd fixed Mark with his gaze long enough, the older nodded, a small tilt of the head, but it brought a pleased smile to Donghyuck's face. "Good. We don't need that weighing over us." Then, drumming his fingers on his knee, he continued, "Now that we've been over the request, I have a question too. What's your favourite flower?" 

Mark cocked an eyebrow at him. "Seriously, Donghyuck? After the talk we just had?" 

"What's wrong with lightening the mood? Besides, I've been wondering for a long time. It's not every day you get to ask someone who's well versed in the flower universe about their favourite flower," Donghyuck said. Not unexpected, coming from him, even after everything. 

There was a soft smile playing on his lips, and Mark returned it without even fully processing it. 

"Honestly? I've never really thought about it," he admitted. 

"How do you not think about it when you're surrounded by them on the daily?" 

"I just really love them all. Really," he added, intuiting Donghyuck's desire to retort. "But if I had to choose one... hm..." One did indeed immediately come to mind. "Daisies." 

Donghyuck's brow creased ever so slightly. That mixture of disbelief and a hint of amusement... Mark was so used to it that it felt comforting to have it appear on the younger's face. Yet he couldn't be happy just seeing it, right? Maybe the sadness that had preceded it had just made the gesture more potent. 

"So out of thousands of flowers, lots of which I don't even know exist, you choose the simplest, most common one there is?" 

It was true Mark knew of special, rare, interesting flowers. He could name some exotic ones he found enthralling, an endangered species found only in Rwanda, or the few kinds of purple roses he'd seen in Queen Mary's Rose Gardens in London (he hadn't been a flower lover back then, but his heart was instantly stolen by them and their creative names). 

But Mark liked simple things, and he liked memories even more. 

He remembered picking daisies even as a child, or simply smiling at them as he walked through the grass, trying to avoid stepping on them, which always made him walk silly. He remembered doodling daisies on his notebooks when he zoned out during classes. He remembered them as they were, indifferent to the world, resolute to keep their place in the grass, no matter how many soles pressed on them in a lifetime. 

They held happy feelings in them - just the sight of one managed to cheer him up. He told Donghyuck as much. 

"And also... people always want something new, extraordinary, and they end up not noticing the beauty that's right in front of their eyes. Daisies are everywhere, they're a reminder of the past as well as what might come. I really like that," he finished. 

When he turned to Donghyuck, he found him already looking at him. His eyes were soft, so soft. His entire expression was like the calm breeze by the moonlit sea. It soothed Mark deeply, but some part of him also felt like he was about to drown in that very sea. 

"I should have known you'd have a sappy, meaningful story about why you'd chosen your favourite flower," Donghyuck said quietly. 

Mark shrugged, not looking away. "What can I say? I'm a florist, after all." 

"And every day I'm learning that you guys have a whole different way of thinking." 

"It's probably just me, Hyuck," Mark joked, but didn't dare laugh. He wanted to bask in the quiet. 

Donghyuck paused for a second and his Adam's apple bobbed. "True. Probably just you," he conceded, his eyes trailing back to somewhere else in the dark vastness, brightened only by the timid lights of the streets. 

With a sigh, Mark rested his head against the tree. Donghyuck followed suit, and Mark noticed the heat of Donghyuck's arm pressed against his. In the steady silence, he could hear the gentle ruffle of leaves blending with their breathing, which was beginning to settle, regain its normal rhytm. A part of his heart went all out to his friend's suffering, hurting as if it was his own; a part of his mind pondered just what he'd been through, began seeing Donghyuck in a different light, trying to figure out if there was a way to right things somehow. 

But the other half of his heart felt a subtle warmth, while the other half of his mind briefly wondered why Donghyuck hadn't leaned his head on his shoulder instead of the oak. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cuddles at some point ahead! or, well, prolonged hugs (take a wild guess who calls them that). it really took them 7 chapters to get here, truly a momentous day :') also, my skills at tagging are just... sad.... but I hope light angst is a proper tag for a substantial part of this visit to hyuck's home? I'm struggling here sobs. but i hope you like it!

Mark had always considered himself a stubborn person, but witnessing the way Donghyuck's parents were acting, he'd begun wondering if he could be deemed even partially as stubborn as them. 

Perhaps stubbornness wasn't even the problem, just an unrelenting unwillingness to listen. "It was like talking to a wall," Donghyuck had said, and it turned out not much had changed over the years. But if his father had been stiff during the first dinner, he'd now become furious, even if he tried to remain and appear unresponsive. 

Mark couldn't understand him, just as he couldn't understand anyone with that type of mindset, hard as he may have tried. Mr Lee didn't inspire any particular amity or kindness, but he was intelligent, knowledgeable, and he had raised some amazing children - though it was unclear if that was or not his merit. Yet the problem lied in his vanity, or perhaps downright arrogance, his unshakable belief that he was innately right. 

From that very belief stemmed the disregard for his children's needs, pleas and desires, the inability to understand how his actions affected them, or to even consider they might have affected them to begin with. He couldn't be wrong, he made no mistakes, he was older and therefore wiser and more capable of making decisions. Over time, talking to him did indeed come across as more and more pointless, which only made it more painful for both Donghyuck and Sehyun. 

The discussions continued throughout the second and third day, an unyielding, rather rancorous process that wouldn't fail to resurface every time Donghyuck and his father set eyes on each other. He did somewhat listen to Donghyuck on the matter (listen, but not truly hear), if only to fight back with claims at times reasonable yet mostly plain crude, but Sehyun didn't receive even that minimal treatment. He'd shut her out completely, oftentimes acting like she wasn't even there. "Don't talk about things you don't understand," was his eternal reply. She could talk, just not about her own future. 

What did she know of it, anyway? She was young, young and inexperienced, though Mark had started sensing part of the problem lay in her gender as well. Why, despite the bad blood between them, could their father allow Donghyuck to speak, while acting like she hadn't even spoken whenever she did? It only infuriated him further. 

Mark was proud of Donghyuck's intervention, but it was sordid that the one person who had the utmost right to be included in the conversation wasn't. 

At one point, Mark asked if he could hug her, aware she would probably appreciate physical warmth the most. As he couldn't intervene either, and as Donghyuck had suggested he didn't unless absolutely necessary, to avoid being 'invited' out (since he was a guest and it was within Mr Lee's rights), he hovered around Sehyun during those tense moments. 

It felt like they were watching a debate about her life from the sidelines, yet she never once wavered, even when Mark himself felt uncomfortable. There was strength in her, same as in Haeun, just manifested differently. It was in the way she had stopped trying to fight, not to give up, but because she knew what the result would be and understood there was no use; in the way she had asked Mark what his favourite food was and set about making it immediately; even in the way she'd rest a hand on Donghyuck's arm after every argument. 

Mark could only hope that, in the long run, she wouldn't let her compassion, perhaps the biggest strength of all, overshadow the realization of what she had to do, with or without her parents' support. Yet, especially after the talk he'd had with his friend, Mark also understood why Donghyuck was so keen on trying to convince them first, on ensuring that Sehyun didn't have to go through what he had. 

"Absolutely exhausting," Donghyuck said the third evening, and the sentiment was evident in his voice. He was sprawled out on one of the armchairs in his old room, definitely tired, but still holding onto an easy half-smile. 

"It is," Mark agreed. His own energy had been depleted after the endless, apparently fruitless discussions. 

"It'll work out," Donghyuck said, akin to a mantra. His conviction stood out every time, but Mark had to wonder if he hadn't begun believing the whole thing futile too. "I've talked to Sehyun about just going to uni without waiting for their say so, but she seems queasy. Makes me think back... if I'd been so too, what would've happened?" 

"What ifs? Doesn't sound a lot like you." 

Donghyuck clicked his tongue, looking hapless. "'Suppose not." 

He didn't say anything else, and neither did Mark. It was natural he'd want a moment or two of pure, uninterrupted peace, though on the inside he still appeared plagued by thoughts. 

"You're pushing yourself too hard, Donghyuck," he said once the silence had become dismal. 

Donghyuck eyed him cautiously, before letting out a breath he'd been holding in for very, very long. "Maybe I am. What else am I supposed to do?" Detecting Mark's reluctance to speak despite wanting to, he added, "Alright. What's on your mind?" 

Mark took the seat next to him, teeth worrying his lower lip. Donghyuck's years of emotional abandonment, Sehyun's indecision, the predictability of the treatment Haeun would receive later on, but especially the shared frustration at the impossibility of the situation, all of it had put Mark in the difficult position of wanting to help but having no way to. 

He wouldn't voice that - the mere mention of it the night on that hill had resulted in Donghyuck telling him how much he _had_ done. Were he to bring it up again, now even more despondent, Donghyuck would tease him to cheer him up, or would feel genuinely saddened. The fact that the latter was plausible... Mark didn't want to think about it. 

"Mark. If you're worried about how I'll react, there's no need. Just be honest. I know that's how you are, why would it bother me?" Donghyuck said, noticing Mark's prolonged hesitation. 

"It's just that..." Mark began, a little unsure, a little nervous. The younger was looking at him earnestly, almost tenderly, with the same calm Taeyong usually radiated, as if whatever Mark had to say mattered more than his exhaustion. "Well, I know I said I'd be here for you, but I think... I don't think this is going to work. Trying to convince them. Your father... he's as immutable as can be." 

It seemed unlikely Donghyuck hadn't thought the same, at least in passing, but upon hearing it, a cloud of hopelessness settled on his face. 

"I guess not. It didn't work for me, I don't see why it would now. He hasn't changed at all. What did they say, huh? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different outcomes, or something like that. It's a never ending cycle." He sighed, a weak, broken treble. "I just don't know what else to do. That's the really exhausting part." 

He'd told Sehyun to follow her heart even in the face of a refusal, so it was a step in the right direction. But maybe there was something more he could do. 

"Donghyuck... What if you did what you're doing right now?" 

Confused, the younger tilted his head to the side. "What am I doing now?" 

"Being honest. Not putting on any pretences. Not smiling if you don't feel like it. Putting your feelings out there." 

"Funny, that's really funny," Donghyuck chuckled, not much humour behind it, slipped back into a detached smile. 

"No, I mean it," Mark continued, fighting through the uncertainty and the voice nagging at him to stop, the fear Donghyuck would think him mad. "I know it's a lot, of course it is. But I think it's worth a shot." 

"Mark, what're you saying? What honesty, what am I even supposed to tell them?" 

"What you told me by the oak." At this, Donghyuck truly stared at him like he had a screw loose, and perhaps, in hindsight, he did. This was Mark though, and if there was one thing he should have expected of him, it was his words remaining candid despite his feelings. 

"Not everything, that's not the point. Just whatever comes to you in the moment, whatever you feel you need to tell them. Tell them how how you felt when you had to leave and take things into your own hands, or when your passion was being trampled on, or even as far as your childhood... just tell them how you've felt all these years." 

The younger laughed, a nervous thing, and rubbed his forehead in a gesture so very unlike him. 

"Mark, I get that you're trying to help, but this is silly. What I told you..." His gaze lowered to the ground. "I haven't told anyone all that. Johnny, sort of, he has the general idea, but not like this. I don't talk about it. Just because I told you, doesn't mean I'm suddenly a new person or something, okay? I'm not. How am I gonna say all that to my parents, and why, what would that--" 

"It would get it off your chest and I don't know, bring you some sort of... closure. It sounds stupid, sure, but you've been holding onto all of this for years. It's not okay. Don't you think it's a step towards letting go? And, honestly, I think your parents, or your mother, would see things differently if they heard that." 

"Different... how?" Part of his expression betrayed a hint of curiosity, and Mark had to latch onto that. 

"She does seem to care about you. She's going about it very badly, but I really think she does. I've seen her try to lessen your father's insults. If she heard how you felt and knew she would bring the same hurt to Sehyun, do you think she'd be okay with that? Money and prestige and whatever be damned, you're her children. At the very least, she might try to put an end to this whole thing they have planned for Sehyun." 

For a long time, stretching the realms of comfort, Donghyuck stayed quiet, face twisted in trepidation. Though Mark knew his idea was akin to hoping for the sun and moon to meet, no alternatives came to mind. If all of Donghyuck's attempts to get through to his father had fallen on deaf ears, what was the point? There was no guarantee this wouldn't also fail, but he had to at least suggest it. 

Slowly, a heavy burden pressed Donghyuck's eyelids closed, and he rested his head in one hand. "You just had to add Sehyun to the mix, didn't you? How could I say no to it now?" 

"Hyuck," Mark tried, feeling less confident in his idea the more he was faced with Donghyuck's state, "You don't have to do it. I just... I just think it might work. But you don't have to, it was just an idea." _I don't want you to do something that would bring you more pain,_ he almost added. 

"You know what's dumb? That I'm actually thinking of doing it. Bare my heart to the last people I'd want to do it to. It's hilarious," he said, leaning back in the armchair and opening his eyes to meet Mark's. He looked deeply confused, torn, as if everything he thought he knew was battling inside of him. "Tell me more," he continued, a mere whisper. 

About...? Oh. Keep trying to convince him, perhaps. 

So Mark did, explaining everything as rationally, as objectively as possible. 

"What's... what's the worst that could happen? They won't listen, but you don't see them any more anyway, so it doesn't matter. At least you'll have tried. You'll have spoken your truth. That's still something," he finished after a lengthy speech. 

Donghyuck looked as if he could name at least a dozen more bad scenarios that could arise. Instead, after a silence that dragged excruciatingly, he leaned over to bump Mark's shoulder with his fist. 

"What're you doing to me, Markles?" he teased, falling back into a small smile, only there was an underlying seriousness to the words, beyond only his apprehension, something fragile yet somehow crucial, something Mark wanted to understand. 

"I don't know," he answered, since that encompassed the extent of his feelings. Donghyuck's eyes initially lingered on his, then focused on the ceiling, examined the hands in his lap. 

"Okay. I'll do it." 

"You... will?" Mark said, surprised. 

Donghyuck bobbed his head in one exaggerated, peppy nod. "Mhm." 

"Just like that?" 

"Yep. Just like that." 

Mark's eyebrows furrowed, partially sceptical of such a quick concession - or, truthfully, any concession. 

"Don't frown, Markles. I'm the one who should be frowning. This might be the maddest thing I've ever agreed to. And I've agreed to a lot of mad things." 

"You don't have-" 

With a crooked, rather jaunty grin, the younger covered his mouth with his palm. "How 'bout you don't add to my jitters, huh? Let's just get this over with," Donghyuck said, pushing himself up in one swift, energetic motion, swinging his arms in the process. 

"What- right now?" 

"When else? The more I postpone it, the more likely I am to postpone it for good." 

At that moment, Mark finally comprehended the reason behind his energy, his jovial smile; it wasn't just to conceal his real emotions, but rather to hearten himself, especially in the face of such an endeavour. It seemed nothing was as straightforward as what Mark might once have thought. 

"But since you put the idea in my head, I'm gonna have to make you a tad as uncomfortable as this is about to make me," Donghyuck warned. Hardly giving Mark the chance to question his words, let alone agree or disagree, he wrapped his arms fully around him, propping his chin on his shoulder and letting out a contented sigh. 

The reality of finding himself with Donghyuck in his arms, without preparation or even the knowledge that it would happen, left Mark thoroughly baffled. He nearly sucked in a breath, but the genuine warmth that radiated from the younger alleviated any and all shock he might've felt. Slowly, he lifted his own arms and rested them on Donghyuck's waist in a delicate pat, not necessarily awkward, but certainly conscious. 

"You don't have to be so scared, you know," Donghyuck muttered, unexpectedly close to his ear. 

"Oh. Yeah." Mark tightened his hold and clutched the younger's shirt, succumbing to the warmness. 

In spite of what he knew his reaction to hugs often was, everything about this one soothed him. The embrace was secure, safe, yet not in any way intrusive. Respecting, perhaps, the limits Mark seemed to be so fond of. Even his scent was soothing: lily of the valley and citrus, an unusual combination, simultaneously sweet and sharp. Though Donghyuck was the one who needed the hug, here Mark was, melting into it himself, letting his eyes close and his mind mull over how a person could emanate such comfort, such care, with such a simple gesture. 

A minute or two later, which meant faster than Mark would have preferred (not that, of course, he had a preference), Donghyuck untangled himself from him and offered him a slightly bashful smile. 

"Sorry. I kinda needed that," he said, chuckling. Mark shook his head, implying it was fine. "I can do it now." 

"You're sure?" 

"Definitely not gonna get any more sure than this, so." 

He clapped Mark on the shoulder and strolled out of the room, one step confident, one worried, but holding onto a smile that wasn't giving much away. 

In the very way Mark had started suggesting unthinkable ideas earlier without considering the possible consequences, he found himself waiting on the hallway, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyes not leaving the door of the room Donghyuck had just entered. 

He couldn't place what had brought him there: the desire to intervene in case his parents still wouldn't listen, not even now (because he would, at the expense of coming across as ill-mannered and brash and rude, he wouldn't hesitate to tell them everything they deserved to hear, he would no longer remain idle); a stinging fear that he'd let Donghyuck astray; a strong, undecipherable gnawing at his heart; perhaps all three. Either way, he was there, unusually anxious. 

"Mark?" sounded next to him, and Sehyun's lean, rosy face came into view. "Is something wrong? Where's Hyuck?" 

Unable to guess what effect revealing her brother's true enterprise would have on Sehyun, Mark chose to keep it vague. "He's... uh... talking to your parents." 

"Again? This never ends, does it? Then I'll-" 

"No!" he cut her off wildly, perceiving her next words. "I mean, he's got it covered. I think. We should give them some space." 

She raised a single, quizzical eyebrow and broke into a giggle, opting to take a spot against the wall across from him. 

"Alright. 'You're such a strange person, Mark,'" she said, drawing a surprised gasp from him at how familiar the sentence was. She giggled again. "How many times has he said that to you?" 

Mark frowned. "Uh... A few." 

"He really likes saying that when he doesn't understand something. 'Strange', I think that's his go-to word." 

"Dumb and not a big deal too. But... only when he's uncomfortable," Mark added, perhaps in vain. His cheeks heated up once she shot him an even brighter smile at the statement. 

"Yes... he's not exactly the most open person. From what he tells me, I don't think he has a lot of friends any more. Aside from Johnny, of course. Does he?" 

"Well... I couldn't say, but I don't think the people he mentions sound like friends. They're on good terms, but I think Johnny's his only... true friend," he said, feeling presumptuous assuming all this in Donghyuck's absence. Sehyun's presence, however, was so perfectly relaxing, that the words were tumbling out blindly. 

"And now you," she said, pushing her long locks behind her and laughing once he'd lowered his head. "You're not getting shy, are you? It's true. After all, you're the one he brought here, not Johnny. He really trusts you. He appreciates having you around, too. He's calmer, more at ease. Have you noticed?" 

"Uh..." 

"He is. And it makes me so happy, Mark. He deserves that. You both deserve each other." 

"We do..?" Mark said lamely, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Sehyun nodded but said nothing more for a few moments. Across the hallway, Mark heard, or thought he heard a raised voice, but Sehyun recaptured his attention before he could allow himself to worry. 

"Do you know why Hyuck has such a hard time opening up, Mark?" She paused, watching his reaction. Her calm, gentle voice, as well as the softness of her expression, made her next words seem lighter, like a story. "You've seen everything going on these past few days, so you already know what kind of people our parents are. They weren't much nicer to him than they are to me now, but you could say he had it worse. They're fine with my interests, but they could never stand his, or his friends. They belittled him constantly. Still, he respected them. I remember him talking about them like they were superheroes when I was little girl." 

"Even with... how little they were around?" 

"So you know. Well, maybe even because of how little they were around. It's ages ago now, so I couldn't say what he might have been thinking back then. Either he genuinely admired and loved them, which I do think is the case, or he wanted us to see them in a positive light, no matter how distant they were. And he succeeded... He tried to find excuses for them being away most our childhood and he was always, always there for us when they weren't. I can count on one hand the times we actually saw him break down. He was strong, unwavering. It didn't matter what was going on in his own heart. He wanted to be... for us. I think he hoped we'd have the pillar of support he never did. 

"When we missed them, he was there. When we were sad, he'd cheer us up in an instant. When something was wrong, he would find solutions. He didn't really bother with his homework, but he never hesitated to help me with mine when it got too difficult, when school wasn't letting me rest. He was almost always smiling, though as I grew older I started to notice it wasn't fully... him when our parents, or his passion, or his future were concerned. He always tried to hide any arguments from us, or if not, to be the calm one, the mature one. I'm sure it wasn't easy, especially with how... cruel our father was. And he really was, back then, I think. It makes me sad to think about it. 

"But Hyuck smiled through it, somehow. And as any action sufficiently repeated becomes a habit, a years-long practised smile inevitably turns into a way of being." 

The muffled conversation from across the hallway, the ticking of the clock, the wind caressing the leaves of the elm by the window, all were drowned out by the heavy, violent heartbeat in Mark's ears. 

Indeed, he'd assumed as much - Donghyuck's confidence, his distant smile, they were clearly a façade, but hearing the reasoning behind them, the purpose for which they had started, pierced Mark deep in his heart. 

_This idiot,_ he thought, in a way so tender that it could not possibly be articulated by way of speech, _this good, caring, strong, loving idiot._

"I know he loves you very much," he said instead, a truth he'd wanted to voice to Sehyun for some time, self explanatory though it may have been. 

She nodded with genuine gratitude in her eyes. "I know. But you see why he's so used to putting up a happy wall. His past friendships didn't really... end well either, so he doesn't let a lot of people in. He loves them and he's loved back, but talking to them, hoping to understand and learn from them is as far as he'll go. But not you, right? Crack by crack, he's let go of the pretences around you." 

"He's trying to be more open," Mark said. If only Sehyun had known just how open that meant. 

"He is, isn't he? I hope you cherish that, Mark. Maybe he's my brother so I'm bound to say this, but he's one of the genuinely good ones. And, really... so are you," she said, tone still so kind, like a smile moulded into words. 

Mark nodded, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. She beamed, patted his shoulder, announced she'd better see if her sister was ready for bed, and had almost left, when Mark called after her again. 

"Sehyun. Despite everything, was Donghyuck happy as a child?" 

"Hm... I think so. He tried to be. He always finds the good in things, doesn't he? And all else aside, we were there for him too." 

"Thank you," Mark mouthed. 

Sehyun shot him another grateful smile. "No, Mark.. Thank you." 

Alone again, Mark noticed a metallic taste in his mouth and a numb, stinging pain in his lips, and came to realise he'd been nibbling at them for a long while, though he wasn't entirely sure when he'd started. He clearly remembered biting them when Donghyuck had been around, too, which was partly disconcerting. How nervous was he to do something like this? 

With a bit more force than was necessary, the door eventually opened and out came Donghyuck. He approached him, as Mark pushed himself off the wall to meet him halfway. 

"What happened? Are you okay?" Mark asked automatically - there was no thought process involved, he was entirely fuelled by his concern. 

Aside from the slight dampness of his cheeks, Donghyuck looked at ease, in a rather peculiar manner, like a drop of water after severe thirst - a painful journey, followed by the simple taste of fulfillment. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so," he said, fairly breathless, eyes a little wild, distracted. He seemed unsure what to say, but not because of being unable to word it, rather because he himself couldn't make sense of what he'd done, or what reaction he'd received. 

"C'mon, let's not talk about it here," Mark suggested, heading towards Donghyuck's old room, while the other followed by instinct rather than choice. 

Once there, they both sat down on the bed, touched by the glow of the fairy lights, yet again the sole light source in the room. Even in the general dimness and consequent shadow cast over the yellow tones that were so bright during the day, the chamber's optimism persisted in the countless polaroids of Sehyun and her friends hung on the walls, the bowl of fruits and the handmade animal wood figurines on the table. It was a safe, happy place - yet it didn't feel much like it now, what with the uncertainty that was hanging in the air. 

Donghyuck would sigh, then fiddle with his hands, then take on a serious expression of thought or confusion - or whatever it was, the emotions behind it too complex to pinpoint exactly. 

Mark watched him, torn between dread and the pride of seeing Donghyuck doing something so brave, between wanting to inquire and fearing doing it at the same time. In the face of both his inability to decide what to do, as well as Donghyuck's state and the tense quiet that followed it, the oddest, most absurd, most un-Mark thought came to him. 

"Donghyuck... Uh..." 

The idea that had struck him was inspired by the hug from earlier, the knowledge that psychical affection soothed Donghyuck. Offering a hug, however, seemed insufficient after the emotional roller coaster the younger must have been through, after taking such a leap into the unknown. Following from that, the only thing Mark could offer were... prolonged hugs. Or cuddles, as people called them. Not him, though. 

Phrasing something so ridiculous could outplay even Donghyuck's wit, but Mark was stuck with the burden. What was he to say? 'Donghyuck, would you have a mind not to sleep downstairs tonight, both to deflect your parents and to be comforted?' - how highfalutin was that! 'Let me hug you' - was another one, but that was elementary enough, how was he to say it? The last one, 'C'mon, let's sleep together'- in what world was that okay?! 

For there to be any hope of surviving this without fully embarrassing himself, perhaps he'd just have to.. not talk at all. And, naturally, to pray life wasn't cruel enough to make even that a problem. 

With that in mind, he scooted over to the far corner of the bed, lying down on his side and patting the pillow next to him to imply what he hoped to achieve. If only but a moment, Donghyuck regained his lost poise and arched an eyebrow at Mark, intentionally cheeky, but he couldn't hold it for long. 

"Is this your way of flirting with me, Mark? Asking me to share the bed with you right after you guided me on the right path?" 

Flirt! Mark, flirt! With Donghyuck? In a bed! A bed, of all places?! 

It was then that he realised how he must have looked, lying as he was, inviting Donghyuck to do the same, in the late hours of the day, and he sat up as if electrocuted, falling in a nervous rant. 

"Wh-what, no, that's not-- That wasn't it at all, I- I just thought you'd want to be with someone after everything- I mean, not _be_ with anyone, just, be, as in the presence of--" 

A light chuckle escaped Donghyuck's lips and he rolled his eyes. He plopped down on the bed too, resting his head on his arm and settling on his side, mirroring Mark's earlier position. 

"Oh, Mark... I can't believe you overreact like this to my teasing even after so long. Even when I don't feel up to joking around," he said, expression softened after the amusement. In truth, it helped to know he could make the younger brighten up a bit in spite of the situation, even if it was at the expense of his dignity. 

Biting down on his lip (a terrible idea, his lips were sore enough already), both out of nervousness and to suppress a smile, Mark lay down once again, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Well, I... I thought you'd prefer to avoid your parents while you could, and sleeping in the middle of the living room is the opposite of that. And I know you like human, um, affection?" 

Donghyuck, bless his soul, didn't comment on the phrasing. "I do love hugs, yes. And cuddles, since that's what you seemed to be implying. But it's good just being with you, too. I'll stay, if it doesn't make you uncomfortable." 

Mark didn't grace the question with an answer. 

Hoo, hoo... Hoooo.... The silence that followed, softly underlined by the distant hooting of an owl coming from the open window, was plenty answer in and of itself. Naturally, the fear of what he might have brought upon the other agonised Mark, but hearing the steady breath that flowed between them and facing Donghyuck, with his slow, almost sleepy blinks, that worry dwindled. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was perfectly safe, harmonious, simple, perhaps unlike Donghyuck himself, but like a balancing of their energies. 

In time, after just lying down face to face, no real words spoken, Donghyuck's tension seemed to fade, his confusion shifting into acceptance. 

"Are you okay, Donghyuck?" Mark finally dared to ask, the same question as earlier. 

A faint, confused smile tugged at Donghyuck's lips. "Mhm. I don't know how, but I feel strangely normal." 

"Normal?" 

"Unchanged? The sky didn't fall on my head, no choir of angels sang my praise, I didn't feel any sort of existential crisis, I'm still same old Donghyuck." 

...What exactly had he envisioned would happen once he'd let everything out? 

"Or I don't know. Am I? I've never done anything like that. It wasn't just the maddest thing, it was the hardest too. Still, once I started... it all just came out. Like a broken dam. How they messed stuff up and never acted like parents and hurt us all so much. All of it. It was the dum-" He shook his head, halting his usual comment and throwing Mark a canny look as he did so. "It was just funny, how I told them everything without even thinking. Is... is that good? Is that what should've happened?" 

Mark was taken aback by the fact that the question was directed at him. 

"I mean, you've been holding everything bottled up for years. You must've been angry, it's okay that you couldn't control yourself. Truth is not always easy to suppress. Once it comes out, it comes out," he said, attempting a more philosophical approach. Donghyuck hummed, pressing his lips together in thought. 

"I don't know if I was angry. Or I was, but I think it came from the hurt. I don't even remember for sure what I said. I was shaking like I had a cold, and my voice was shaky too. I had tears on my cheeks, but I don't remember crying. But I let it all out, I think." 

He definitely had, and not just by way of words. Mark hesitated, but eventually pressed a hand to Donghyuck's arm in sympathy. 

"And your parents? What did they do?" he asked, voice little, scared of finding out. Donghyuck fell on his back and stared at the ceiling. 

"It's sort of a blur. Father didn't always let me speak, so I raised my voice a few times. He stuck to his 'You don't understand' and 'Once you're an adult you'll see what sacrifice is'. I zoned him out for the most part. He shut up at some point, though I don't know if he _listened_ listened. It was better than usual, though. And mother... She didn't seem too okay with any of it. She kept trying to stop father from intervening. She didn't really say much, other than that. But I think she might've been... conflicted." 

"So there's a chance?" 

"Dunno. I hope so. She's never been there for us much either, but she's not been quite like father either. She's, well, stood up for me from time to time. Maybe she'll be able to get through to him? Sehyun deserves it. You know I'll fight for her even if not, yeah?" 

Mark looked at the boy next to him and nearly reached out and hugged him. 

He mapped his soft face, delicate and still gracefully youthful, despite having to grow up and take responsibility not only for himself, but for two other people so early on. He stopped on his beautiful, expressive eyes, the ones he trusted more than whatever expression so easily came and left on his face, and noticed they glistened with the light above them, their usual hazel close to a yellowish copper. Forlorn, hopeful, thoughtful, nearly serene, they most importantly embodied so much of Donghyuck's true essence - which, in one word, Mark would have called tenderness. Kindness. Care. 

He didn't need to hear ample details of what had gone down between those four walls. What he did know extended to that, too. He knew that as every day passed, both a lesson and an adventure, he admired and cared for Donghyuck more and more. He trusted he'd handled it as well as he could have. 

"I know. I don't blame you. But- I'm proud of you, Hyuck. So proud. You accepted my idea and were beyond brave. You didn't have to, but you did. I'm really, really proud, no matter what happens." 

Another small but grateful smile kissed Donghyuck's lips as he turned his head to Mark, and it somehow held inexplicable warmth. 

"I think you deserve a bit of an applause too. After all, you-" he began, but Mark cut him off with a shake of the head. 

"This is all you. _You_ did this. And I'm _proud_." 

Donghyuck's eyes widened, and his reply died in his throat. Then he grinned, boyish and fond. 

"How many times are you going to leave me speechless, Mark? Well. Thank you," he said, sounding more serious than expected, whilst the words felt like they comprised many more meanings, that simple thank you extending to more than just the compliment. 

Mark nodded, unable to do much else. The longer he looked into Donghyuck's eyes, the more his throat dried out. 

Hoping to escape, he gently pushed at Donghyuck's shoulder, prompting a raised eyebrow from him. 

"You said you liked... cuddles," he explained, praying that was enough. A disbelieving, astonished puff of air escaped Donghyuck's lips and amusement took over his features, but he shifted to lie on his side, back turned to Mark. 

Though it had made sense in Mark's head, in practice it made none at all, and it was more fiddling rather than proper movements. He pulled a blanket over them, threw an arm over Donghyuck's waist (after the younger had assured him it was fine, since Mark had stopped midway), amazed yet again by how warm the boy was. Donghyuck shuffled until they were touching, but he seemed reluctant to press himself entirely to Mark, which the older appreciated. More baby steps. Plenty, plenty baby steps. 

Donghyuck's hand rested on the arm Mark was holding him with, squeezing slightly. Though uncertain and unfamiliar with something so... intimate, perhaps, and despite the few centimetres of space left between them, Mark's hold on Donghyuck's waist was strong, and it tightened a bit at the contact. 

"Are you sure this is okay?" 

Holding him as he was, Mark felt Donghyuck's stomach convulse with laughter, and wondered if there was another feeling as happy as that. 

"You worry too much, Markles. Yet... you're the same person who convinces me to face my fears and stands by my side while I do it." 

"Well... remember when you asked me if I was shy or not? People are much more than a few lines of description. There's no easy answer. We're more complex than that. It's hard, to describe or even understand people, right? I see that a lot more clearly now," Mark said, referring to his own recent epiphanies, tapping Donghyuck's back softly with his other hand. 

"Is Sehyun to be the psychologist or are you?" Donghyuck teased, but his voice was beginning to regain its lost calm, little by little. 

"Sehyun, of course. I'm just saying things as I see them." 

"And helping me do more of the same." 

A pang of fear tugged at Mark's heart. "Maybe, but... I hope you don't think I'm trying to change you or something after I suggested talking to your parents today. It's not- I'd never-" 

Donghyuck looked over his shoulder at him, expression exasperated. "I know, Mark. You really do worry too much. I would never think that. You've done nothing to make me think it. You've just been here for me, honest to who you are. I told you, I'm grateful for that. Seriously." 

"Okay, Hyuck," Mark said, similarly grateful. Those two words bloomed a smile so soft on Donghyuck's face, and he stared at Mark like he was seeing him anew. "What?" the older asked, and Donghyuck looked away again, though Mark could still see the smile stretching on his face. 

"It's the fourth time you've called me that," he whispered, then chuckled. "It... makes me happy." 

Mark frowned, propping himself up on one elbow to better see him. "What? Hyuck?" 

"Mhm. Hyuck." Donghyuck let his eyes fall shut, that sunny expression never once faltering. "Let's sleep," he mumbled, sounding already almost half asleep. 

And again they alternated between seriousness and lightheartedness, between advice and banter, honesty and teasing, quiet and words. It did not mean their serious, vulnerable moments were not so - but it was perhaps written in their dynamics that they didn't need to stick so adamantly to only one emotion. 

It dawned on Mark then, that when around Donghyuck, the flux of feelings flowed so easily, that they didn't need to be categorised and analysed too deeply, in a way that just... made sense. 

Perhaps things made sense around Donghyuck precisely because they didn't. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII oh gosh, it's been ages.. I'm really sorry about the (very) long wait!! these months have been really difficult and crazy busy for me, for many reasons, and then I ended up with a writer's block too, so it all just added up. but I have returned! I'm honestly super excited to get back to this story ^^ I hope all of you are alright and healthy with everything going on! let's all do our best to stay safe <33
> 
> also, this will seem really amateurish, but I posted the 7th chapter at a time I wasn't in a good spot and have since felt the end was far too rushed, so I broke it up into two parts! 
> 
> some of you'll have already read the first part of this chapter (aka the second half of the previous one), and if you don't wanna bother with it, you can skip it altogether! the general idea of what happens is the same, it's more of a pacing problem. the very rushed interaction between hyuck and his sisters upset me especially. I would forever regret it if I left it like that, so I'd rather seem silly than compromise what I think the story should be... sorry about this too! I'll upload the next chapter today as well, to make up for it ^^ thank you for understanding!

Mark woke up feeling much more peaceful than he had the past few days, enveloped in a pleasant warmth. Enveloped was right - sometime during the night, their positions had changed, and he'd ended up in Donghyuck's lazy arms, the younger's head leaned between the blades of his shoulders, his even breath bringing a slight chill down his back.

Despite the closeness, which had begun to feel more real in the light of day, the revelation, the position, or the memory of who'd been the one to suggest, as well as initiate the aforementioned, Mark could only sigh, eyes shutting, ready to slip back into sleep. More fascinating still, he didn't even flinch at the fact that, somehow, he was clutching Donghyuck's hand. Sleep was to blame, clearly.

Perhaps he fell back asleep, perhaps he didn't. What he did know was that at some point, a muffled groan came from next to him, then the form which embraced him stretched sleepily, the morning ritual culminating with two hands pressing down on Mark's waist as a means to lift said body up, and Donghyuck's drowsy, lazily beaming face leaned in close to his own. Mark felt the need to suck in a breath.

"Booo," Donghyuck said, wearing a sluggish smile, eyes only halfway open.

"Morning to you too, Donghyuck," Mark said, amused. Remembering the night's admission, he rephrased, "Hyuck."

"You fawner. Saying what I want to hear?" the younger jested, but his smile softened. He then poked his cheek lightly. "You're a good cuddler, though."

"I am?"

"Mhm. The best."

"Do you, uh, cuddle people a lot?"

Donghyuck repaid the question with a face of utter scorn.

"Who would I be cuddling?"

Mark cleared his throat and shrugged, "Fair point."

Donghyuck fell on his back, letting out an loud sigh. His reactions were far more uncontrolled in the early hours of the day. It was always nice to see him reacting candidly, with that childlike energy he'd let shine recently.

"I don't even have a Mr Snowflake like you do. Do you cuddle him?... Maybe I should get one. But do you?"

"I just..." Mark hesitated, but decided it ultimately didn't matter, "Hug him to bed."

"Adorable," Donghyuck cooed. "You never disappoint, Mark. But on a more serious note, thank you. It did really help."

"Anytime," Mark answered, and was surprised to find he meant it.

They eventually got up after that. Donghyuck brought tea and a light breakfast for the both of them, only to then inform Mark of his father's request in the most detached way possible.

"How did you forget to bring up the fact that your father had us clear out the house by afternoon?!" Mark exclaimed, throwing Donghyuck a dirty look, which the other shunned with a shrug.

"He didn't, he didn't. He asked me to leave by afternoon, it's a totally different thing. He was on the verge of a breakdown, but still, for him, it's like the difference between night and day," he explained, a magnetic grin stretching on his face, while he threw his clothes back in the bag without much consideration.

"And what, we're just leaving? Things are still the same," Mark said, extremely confused, as well as worried. The Donghyuck he knew wouldn't give up so easily, not even after something as vulnerable as his confession to his parents. Not usually, but definitely not when his sisters were involved.

Donghyuck took hold of his shoulders, putting on an expression of mock disappointment.

"Markles, I know the flowers are calling out to you, but of course we're not leaving yet. Or, I'm not, you can if you want to. No, you're not, I get it, no need to get upset. There's such a thing as hotels though, I'll get us a room. Just 'cause I can't sleep here doesn't mean I can't still pop by. He's not _that_ cruel, you know... Usually."

Mark frowned. He wasn't sure of the reliability of the plan. Then again, Donghyuck was the one who knew his father better, and Mark didn't have any other idea, so he'd just have to go along with it. Donghyuck looked pretty relaxed. Maybe that was enough. 

While they were both packing, a knock came at the door. It was Donghyuck's mother. Dressed in a pristine, plain blue dress, hair immaculately coiffed, she looked a true businesswoman, elegant and, in some ways, maybe even posh. She offered them a smile that would have appeared apathetic, were it not for the obvious waver in her movements.

"Mother? What is it?" Donghyuck asked, keeping his composure, even if Mark knew he wasn't at ease.

"Donghyuck, Mark. Could I speak to my son alone for a minute?"

"If it's about everything he's already witnessed these past few days, I'm sure he can stay," the younger replied without delay. 

In face of her son's solemnity, Mrs Lee agreed. There wasn't much Mark hadn't heard at that point, anyway.

"You see, I've talked to your father. What you said last night made me think, and him also. Perhaps... perhaps we didn't handle things as gracefully as we could have," she said, chin still up, voice so carefully controlled. 

"Perhaps not," Donghyuck said, looking at her as if she'd grown another head.

His mother sighed. There was evidently no reason to rebuke him on his short, uncaring answers - she likely saw that now.

"He doesn't agree entirely, but I have tried to... make him agree. If nothing else, he does understand what you said about Sehyun. I don't know if he would have, were it another job, but he's willing to... rethink his stand."

Donghyuck glanced at Mark as if to make sense of what reaction to have, but for once Mark's face didn't hold the answer.

"Is this for real? What, did father have an existential crisis? He's past his mid life already," he said, not particularly classy, but Mark couldn't blame him.

"I understand why you're sceptical," she said, took a few steps around the room, picked a wooden figurine from the desk. "There's nothing certain yet, but I'll do my best to convince him. He isn't as bad as you believe, Donghyuck. He can listen to reason."

"Maybe to you, but don't try to tell me he's ever listened to me. Or Sehyun. He's not going to any time soon, that much's for sure."

"He is still your father, Donghyuck."

"Yes, to his profound dissatisfaction."

She stopped, lowering her head. "I don't... agree with this path you have chosen. But I do understand where we went wrong. I... never realised how much pain our... _my_ work brought you. I truly believed everything we did was for your own good, though now I am no longer so sure," she said, voice fragile for the first time Mark had heard it.

He wasn't certain what to make of her - she didn't look truly pained, though that could have just been good acting, but she did sound guilty.

"How didn't you see it, mother? Were we ever close, any of us? Did we ever spend any real time together, did you ever show the girls the affection they deserved? Were you ever there as the mother they should have had?" Donghyuck asked, stepping closer to Mark as he did so, until they were almost shoulder to shoulder. There was anger in his features, but his words didn't come out as accusatory as expected; only disappointed.

She took in a deep breath and looked at him. Now Mark knew where he'd gotten his eyes from: they were entirely hers.

"No. I am aware I will never be able to change that. That is the only reason I'll do my best for Sehyun to choose her career, and for your father to support her while she does it."

Donghyuck watched her, then returned his gaze to Mark, seemingly asking him for his take on the situation. 

It did seem an abrupt change of heart, but Mark knew perspectives could change with less. Not many could hold to their beliefs in the face of the vile effects they'd had on others, much less their children. Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and Mrs Lee, clearly a not very maternal woman, nor a very perceptive one, had made numerous mistakes. However, Mark felt that, at core, she was not a bad person. The fact that she'd admitted to having wronged them was proof of that. He gave Donghyuck a nod as answer.

"Okay," Donghyuck said. "I hope so. She'll do it either way, but I hope she doesn't have to. She loves you both."

"Good." She hesitated, clearly unsure how to phrase her next words. "But for this to work, you will have to really go back home, Donghyuck."

"What?" Donghyuck jumped, shaking his head with a wry laugh. "Is this your way to get me away so you can keep acting how you always have, push Sehyun the same? You think this sort of trick works on-

"Hyuck," Mark whispered, a quiet reminder to calm down. He was losing himself in his mistrust.

"I promise I will do what I can. However, even if your father might rethink his approach with your sister eventually, but he is still just as furious with you. What you said last night did not lessen his disappointment. He doesn't understand why you said those things about him, or your feelings. He only thinks you were trying to slander him. He's not working today either, so seeing you around after he told you to leave would only make the situation worse."

"She's right, Hyuck. Sometimes... sometimes the best thing to do... is do nothing at all," Mark said. 

"...How does that work?"

"Someone once said 'Responsibility is not expertise. Action is not inherently superior to inaction,'" Mark continued, massaging his back in circular motions, hoping it would prove relaxing. "You've done the best you could have. You can always keep in contact with the girls and we'll see where to go from there."

"We?" his mother cut in, expression curious.

"As if he hasn't been here the past few days, mother-"

"We're in it together," Mark said at the same time, willing his cheeks not to crimson. It was true, and the one thing he wanted his parents to know was that Donghyuck had someone to rely on. That he could be happy, that he'd chosen the right path for _himself_ , and that others saw that, even if they didn't.

Despite noticing's Donghyuck's wide eyes, he continued, figuring he might as well throw all caution to the wind, "I know you're trying to right things, Mrs Lee, but I want to say this. Your son is one of... one of the best persons I know. He's hard working and smart and bright and he's so, so good. I hope you forgive my bluntness when I say you didn't give him the love he deserved. Whether you agree with his choices or not, I don't think it matters. You should have supported him either way. You have a son few could hope to have, and he's doing wonderful on the path he chose for himself. Really, he... I daresay he's happy. I hope you remember that."

It was difficult to comprehend what exactly he'd tried to say, as it felt like his mouth had spoken ahead of him and he'd not expressed any coherent thoughts, but the gentle surprise and bashfulness on Donghyuck's face eased his uncertainty.

"I... see. Yes. I shall keep that in mind," his mother said, and for a moment her eyes lingered on Mark. They then returned to Donghyuck, downcast. Mark expected an apology, and maybe she had intended to say it, but changed her mind last minute. "I hope you do as I asked, Donghyuck. I'll leave you to your luggage."

Right before she'd closed the door, Donghyuck spoke again.

"For what it's worth, I have forgiven you. I think it's time we all moved on from it, somehow. If you want to make up for it, just try to do better by my sisters from now on. But don't let it haunt you. There's been enough pain already."

She nodded dejectedly, and left without a word. 

As Mark looked at him, his chest swelled with affection. Whether he truly meant it or not, it had been a kind thing to say. In peak Donghyuck manner, he'd cared for her feelings even after all the years of believing she had no regard for his own. Mark felt a twinge deep down at the observation. 

"See, the problem with being your friend is the battling desire to hug you to thank you and the knowledge that not hugging you would be more of a thank you to you," Donghyuck said, voice emotional though the words were not.

Mark smiled sadly. _Idiot_ , he thought.

"Even if I do this?" he asked, and stretched his arms out as invitation. Donghyuck's eyes softened in gratitude and he nearly threw himself in for the hug. Clearly, he needed it more than he'd admit.

Once Donghyuck stopped mumbling thank you's and incoherent nothings in Mark's shoulder, among which words such as 'mad' and 'blooming unbelievable', he settled on smiling as he packed, puzzled and hesitant, but sincere once more.

In all likelihood, his father would probably never understand him, nor try to. But Donghyuck had spoken his truth, had given him one last chance before being able to let go for good and move on. As Mark stole glances at him, it looked as if something was lighter about him. Like his movements were less weighed down by the pressure of the past few days.

However, his mother's warning meant they'd have to rush through the last couple hours before their departure, so as not to risk his father losing his temper again. Thankfully, he hadn't physically thrown them out, so Donghyuck still had time to say goodbye to his sisters, but it wasn't much better. To have to leave on this note, both rushed and not particularly pleasant, though promising a happy ending for Sehyun, wouldn't be easy on the siblings.

The burden of letting them know of the latest development in the situation again fell on Donghyuck.

They both stood in front of the girls' door, uneasy. Not even good news were entirely good.

"You know, I... hate leaving. Telling them I'm leaving," Donghyuck whispered, small again as reality faced him. The previous relief had taken a turn for dread.

"It's not your fault. It's not even up to you," Mark reminded him and squeezed his shoulder.

Donghyuck grimaced. Whoever was to blame, it didn't change the fact that he had to leave behind the two people who might as well have meant most to him.

"Yeah," he said, then entered the room.

The girls were both lying on the bed on their stomach, looking through an atlas. Sehyun was pointing to what was likely New Zealand, at least from what Mark could make out from the distance.

"Here, we're not the only ones to have an oceanic climate. There's also- Oh, Hyuck!"

Sehyun ceased her explanations when she saw them and her face broke into a smile. Haeun perked up from behind her, still in her pyjamas, hair tied up into a bun that was falling apart - she'd likely not changed after waking up.

"What're you guys doing?" Donghyuck asked, gesturing to the map.

"I was helping Haeun learn the climate groups and their types. I thought seeing them on a map would be more efficient." 

The image before them was adorable, and it made Mark think of what Sehyun had said the night before, about how Donghyuck used to help Sehyun with her own studies once. It seemed she'd taken over his job in the meantime. The Lee siblings... truly the best trio Mark had ever known.

Donghyuck grinned and leaned over Sehyun to ruffle Haeun's hair. The young girl tried to duck and huffed when she didn't succeed.

"Look at you, always so keen to learn about the world," he said, pride evident in his voice.

"Stop teasing," Haeun mumbled. A bashful smile played on her lips.

"Not teasing. I think it's a noble pursuit. I'll buy you a globe for your next birthday, okay? Or a David Attenborough DVD set."

"Both?" Haeun said hopefully. Donghyuck clicked his tongue.

"Trying to profit from my generosity, are you?"

"No, I'm just making a simple suggestion--"

"We'll each buy you one," Sehyun said, to settle the situation. You could've sworn Haeun had received the gifts just then, given how large her grin had gotten.

They made way for Donghyuck on the bed, while Mark headed for a nearby chair so as not to intrude. It wasn't the right call: Sehyun started beckoning him over as soon as she'd realised his intentions, and Haeun nodded once in satisfaction when he finally made his way to the bed. The best thing about the interaction was the warmth it brought to Donghyuck's face, as he couldn't hold back his smile. That soft, bright smile. Mark caught himself staring for a moment too long, until the memory of where he was caught up to him.

"What about you two? What have you been up to this morning? I haven't seen dad even leave his office," Sehyun asked.

"Well, about that..."

Sehyun's sunny disposition darkened immediately. "What has he done now? Hyuck, I keep telling you to stop, you're only hurting yourself and he's only-"

"No, no," Donghyuck began, and Mark noticed the tremor in his voice. It was harder to impart the good news now that they both knew they'd be followed by bad ones. "He... Well, you'll love hearing this. He didn't say he'd let you choose psychology, but mother thinks she can convince him. Apparently psychology isn't like, the worst career you could have chosen, and mother's on your side now, so I think it's worked out."

"What? Hyuck, what?" Sehyun watched him with a hope that didn't yet dare to fully take shape. "You're not joking?"

Donghyuck chuckled and took her hands in his.

"How could I joke about something like this, sis? I mean it. It's not a hundred percent certain, but you're going to study psychology." Without having to do what I did, he didn't say, but Mark understood.

"I..."

If ever anyone needed a clear picture of what happiness in its purest state was, Sehyun's face in that moment more than portrayed it. There was shock too, doubt and confusion, but at the root of it all was just the happiness of a girl who'd been afraid (to hurt herself, or hurt her parents) and who didn't have to be any more.

"But how?" Haeun asked.

She was sitting near the edge of the bed and watching her brother with apprehension. The usual spark in her eyes was overpowered by a frown, almost as if she was preparing for the worst. Mark understood that she'd either intuited their father's reaction or had caught onto the restrained excitement in Donghyuck, as he struggled with how to break the news.

"But..." Donghyuck began, but wasn't able to finish. He threw Mark a look, a quiet plea, and Mark braced himself for him.

"But we have to leave in a few hours," he said, as delicately as he could.

It was a vulnerable thing to hear the fragility in Donghyuck's expression as the implications of the situation dawned on him, as if Mark's admission made it real. It was more painful still to see the girls' reactions - Sehyun's sharp gasp, the cloud of bleakness on Haeun's face, their fleeting gazes. Mark didn't take much joy in parting from his parents either, yet it seemed Donghyuck and his siblings had grown with a bond so strong that farewell wasn't, couldn't be easy. 

But the reaction to the news was less important than its handling of afterwards. In this, the sisters differed. Where Sehyun found understanding for the state of things, perhaps by way of age or just temperament, and subsequently hugged Donghyuck for a good two minutes (minutes in which Mark, sat by Donghyuck and peering directly into her face as it stood propped on his shoulder, noticed the gentle breathlessness of her features), Haeun did quite the opposite. She didn't hug him, nor did she complain, but neither did she really say much in the way of anything, whether agreement or disagreement.

Mark had rarely been reminded of her age during their stay. She acted with more maturity than one might expect of a fourteen year old, though it did not feel out of place, what with her jokes and smile and easily youthful mannerism - in many ways, so similar to Donghyuck's. But she was still fourteen, and evidently looked up to her brother, so Mark found her open displeasure, or disappointment, reasonable.

She kept this disposition throughout the next hours. A smile escaped her when she beat everyone four times in a row at cards, but it faded as quickly as it came. 

It was this elephant in the room, as everyone was aware of her feelings, but no one actually dared to do anything about it. Though not necessarily comfortable for any of them, Sehyun and Mark mainly tried to ease Donghyuck's mind, with a few touches, the occasional glance towards him. 

Despite this, the next hours they spent together were pleasant, as for once no father related problems were looming over them. They were able to have fun, be even more relaxed than usual, and conversation flowed freely between them. After all the time Mark had spent with the sisters over the previous days, he found he almost considered them family; or at the very least, dear friends. The fact that they meant so much to Donghyuck had already influenced his opinion of them, but getting to know them and realising how easy they were to get along with, as well as learning how similar they were to Donghyuck, had made him care for them very much. 

In all honesty, he wished they didn't have to part so quickly, that they'd be allowed a few more days to themselves. Knowing he himself was this way, it only made him more apprehensive to think about how Donghyuck was feeling. Whether their current relief over the state of things was prudent or not, the true problem was not being able to prepare for what a departure meant on an emotional level, as they were forced to more or less rush the whole thing.

As it were, the carefree time spent with the girls had to come to an end eventually.

"You know you need to let go, right?" Donghyuck said, as his youngest sister held onto him tightly. They all stood in the hallway, ready to leave. The girl didn't say anything, but she didn't really have to. Haeun had been quiet, tense, almost sulky, and she hadn't contributed to their banter, had only given short replies.

"Haeun, come here," Sehyun began, but Donghyuck cut her off with a shake of the head. He managed to unwrap Haeun's arms from around him, then lowered to one knee. 

"Haeun. I hate leaving too, you know I do. I wish I didn't have to. Better yet, if I could, I'd stuff you in my bag and take you with me. We'd go out and eat all these crazy sweets and go to those museums you like and draw together and I'd let you come to my gigs," he said softly, looking up at her and patting her face gently, sadly even. "And you should come, as I said. No, you _will_ come, definitely. It'll be so much fun. I might even let you steal Sissi, if you're really good. But now Sehyun needs you, okay? Don't leave her alone... It's never nice being alone. One day soon, alright? I promise." 

She just stared at him, small pout on her face. Mark hesitated, then stepped in.

"Don't worry, Haeun. I'll make sure he keeps his word. I'll come get you myself, if I have to," he said, which drew a small smile out of her.

She took a deep breath, evidently unsettled, but steeled herself. "...Fine. But I'll really miss you. Lots. I wish you could stay." 

"I'll miss you even more, little one. You have no idea," Donghyuck said, hugging her again. He was so very delicate with her, so careful, yet so affectionate. Still holding her, he looked at the other girl. "Sehyun. From now on, no more hiding important information, yeah?" 

Sehyun had the grace to blush. "No more. I'm sorry you had to come because of this. But... thank you. It's not enough, I wish it was, but thank you." 

"What are you apologising for, silly? I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but I hope I won't have to. But you _have_ to keep me up to date from now on," he said, smiling warmly. Standing up again, he pulled Sehyun into a side hug too. "Just take care of yourselves, both of you. That's what's important." 

"You have to stay safe too," Haeun said, tone grave. 

"I know Mark will see that he does," Sehyun assured. 

This caught Haeun's attention, as she turned towards Mark and looked him straight in the eyes for a moment, almost like she was about thirty years older, a field marshal with great authority, and Mark was at best a sergeant major. "You have to, Mark," she said seriously. It was as though she was personally entrusting Donghyuck's well-being to him.

Mark chuckled, rubbing his neck nervously. "I'll try, but he does have a way of making trouble... not seem like trouble." 

"And you make all things out to be trouble! I say we'll be fine," Donghyuck joked, inviting Mark to join the group hug - he did. As far as goodbyes stood, this one wasn't as bad as he'd expected. Being allowed to share the same embrace as Donghyuck made him feel the girls had fully accepted him into their little circle, and he even caught Haeun chancing a warm look at him, after which she poked him in the stomach to save face. 

Naturally, his father did not come to say his farewell, and Donghyuck knew better than to seek him out himself, but Mrs Lee did wish him health, gave him a brief peck on the cheek and waited to the side while they talked. It was wishful thinking, considering everything, but part of Mark hoped they'd be able to solve some of the tension between them. This was better than nothing, at least. 

After a few more quick hugs, thank you's and words of comfort or advice, they walked away, if only because they needed to catch the bus, looking back more than ahead. It was, again, as Sehyun had said - Donghyuck smiled throughout the entire thing, perhaps aided by the speed with which everything needed to he done, but when they got on the bus, he all but collapsed onto his seat, harried.

"Can you believe even this ended up all messy?" Donghyuck said, though not angry. "If I'd known we'd really be leaving, I'd have... I don't know, done things differently? I don't know what, but..."

Mark understood; the reality that they'd left hadn't fully set in yet. The past few days felt like an eternity, a complicated one, so it ending so hastily was... strange. 

"You did well. Parting is never pleasant, no matter what. So maybe it was better this way. Less painful."

"Really? I felt it was as painful as it gets." 

"Then should we talk about it?" Mark asked, setting a hand on his shoulder. 

Donghyuck frowned. "In a bus?" 

"A nearly empty bus." 

The younger winced, looking out the window, eyes tracing the passing scenery. "What's there to talk about? It's weird. Knowing nothing's changed but that it also has. I know it's ridiculous, but a small part of me still foolishly hoped father might have been swayed. Or that he'd care, at least when seeing his son breaking down in front of him." 

"But?" 

"But?" Donghyuck echoed. "I don't know. It hurts a bit, but not as much as other times. I'm just... disappointed, really. That's all, honestly. Disappointment. This is him. This is who he is. There's no changing that. What's sad is that I do believe he'd, like, have the potential to be better. I do have some good memories with him, from before. This one time we went to Bristol, when Sehyun was little, and for a bit he actually felt like a dad. He's not... incapable of emotions. Or he wasn't, once. Now there's only... this void." 

He closed his eyes, then shrugged. "Maybe it's not even disappointment. It's like this feeling of, why would I be angry? Or upset? This is as much he's capable of, there's no asking him for more. I won't ask him to change, but I won't bother struggling because of him any more either."

"That's a very mature way of seeing this, Hyuck," Mark said. 

Donghyuck laughed, dry. He sunk in his seat, like a child. "Or maybe I'm tired of this and want to forget. Maybe I'm not mature at all, and it'll all come kick me in the head later."

"I don't think that's true. I think you've finally acknowledged who he is, and that's a big step to make. You know what I'm sure of, though?" Mark said and found himself smiling despite the situation, "That you're very brave, and very kind, and a much better person than he'll ever be. You don't need him to accept you. I know you know that, but I'll keep telling you until I'm sure there's no trace of doubt left."

Donghyuck studied him for a while, expression incredulous, just the slightest bit emotional. He might have been struggling with what to say, but then he simply whispered, "Thank you," repaying Mark's smile. He then leaned his head on Mark's shoulder, shifting around until he found the right position, arms crossed, still peering out the window.

"You always say stuff like that and manage to make people feel comfortable. I don't know how you do it," he mumbled, but didn't wait for an answer. "Let's not talk about this any more, hm?"

"Of course, Hyuck," said Mark. 

For much of the ride, they savoured the quiet, interrupted only by the occasional comments Donghyuck would make when they passed by something noteworthy, usually flocks of sheep or a farmhouse boasting a beautiful garden. He hadn't a hundred percent recovered, which was to be expected, but he let Mark play with his hair, hummed along to a song, and Mark found himself thinking things would be okay. Sehyun was likely not going to suffer, Haeun would eventually visit her brother. One way or another, sooner or later, Donghyuck would be okay. And Mark would be there with him along the way, in whichever way the younger needed him. 

It was new to Mark, feeling so completely at ease. In spite of everything that had been (ominous feelings, different personalities, uncaring fathers, rushed departures), in spite of everything that should have been. Things seemed so much simpler around the younger, even when they weren't. Glancing down at Donghyuck, he thought he wasn't the only one feeling that way.

Glancing down at him, hand patting his hair, the warm, constant pressure of Donghyuck's head on his shoulder, Mark felt a something he couldn't quite place. A very happy something.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which birthdays and revelations seem to go hand in hand.

When Mark woke up on the 2nd of August, he found the excitement he felt (because yes, he was still prone to a little enthusiasm, even on his twenty fifth birthday) wasn't much shared by those around him. 

He read the sweet, long messages his parents had sent him, followed by a set of lion cub gifs on his mother's side and an insightful quote about life from him father ("Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom"). There were a few other simple but kind texts from his extended family and some friends from university, though nothing out of the ordinary. Regardless, they were more than enough to cheer him up, and he got ready for the day joyfully, taking the time to groom himself and pick his best clothes - still a t-shirt and a pair of trousers, but he tucked his best yellow tee in elegantly, put on his faux leather belt. To finish the look, a pair of gold rimmed glasses. A simple but cheery look. 

On this light hearted note, he sauntered downstairs with a mix of awkwardness and eagerness. Though he'd hardly admit this to himself, let alone others, he was looking forward to the birthday greetings. He was used to them, especially from the boys - they had made his previous two birthdays unforgettable, as they all treasured their friends and, implicitly, their birthdays. 

To his surprise, no such celebration awaited him. Ten did not, as he usually would, cheer. No one pulled at his ears or ruffled his hair or teased him. A heavy silence reigned over the shop. Ten and Taeyong were sat at their usual places, scribbling something in some papers, the only ones there. 

"Marks!" his boss said when he saw him, and approached him with a winning smile. He first patted a flustered Mark on the shoulder, then embraced him. Ten would deny it, but he loved hugging those closest to him. "Happy birthday!" 

From behind them, waiting for his turn for a hug, Taeyong also wished him a 'very, truly happy' one, eyes brightened by his grin. 

"The baby really is twenty five! Life is unfair to us all," Ten nearly wailed, not without some theatrics, but definitely less energetic than his usual self. 

"Should I even be surprised you're calling me baby on my twenty fifth birthday?" Mark said, shaking his head not in irritation, rather amusement. 

"Marks, you could be turning forty, that doesn't change your status as a baby. Certainly not to me." If the situation called for it, Ten could (and would) call any living thing baby. It was... endearing, in its own way. "But never mind that. How do you feel now that you've reached this beautiful age?" 

Mark shrugged. "Same as yesterday, pretty much." 

Ten threw him a pitying look, as if his lack of creativity was a personal blow, but said no more, retreating to his papers and letting Taeyong handle him. Handle, as in hug him also, and ask him questions merely to talk of himself, as a 'birthday boy' apparently had to do. 

Something was amiss, though. Ten lacked enthusiasm, lacked general interest, really, as he stressed over some statistics much more than usual, much more than was required, looking thoughtful, perhaps downright troubled. Taeyong did not offer to treat him to a meal that evening, did not leave sweets for him hidden among the vases and flowers as he had before. 

Of course, Mark couldn't blame them. But it was strange to see that after the initial greeting, they did not even bring up the idea of his birthday. _They must not be feeling great today_ , his brain supplied, though deep down he knew that was not something to stop either Taeyong or Ten from ensuring one of their friends' birthdays was celebrated accordingly.

"Wait... where's Hendery?" came the natural question when Mark discover that the back door was still locked, and the eager gardener nowhere in sight. 

This further troubled Ten. "Oh... I asked him to help me with something. Business is never as easy as it seems. Don't worry, he'll be back soon," he said, voice calm yet also tense. 

This peculiar revelation reassured Mark. Bicker though they may have, Hendery and him had always been close. For his twenty forth birthday, Hendery had charged in his room, carrying a cake, a few balloons (two of which had exploded after nearing the lit candles) and, between hip and arm, a watermelon. Mark could not comprehend how he had resolved to bring everything on his own, much less how he'd set the cake in front of him in one piece after the endeavour. Still, it was a touching gesture, one Hendery had only spoken of afterwards in jest, feigning aloofness. 

Perhaps... perhaps he was preparing a similar entrance for later? 

That hope, however, never came to fruition. When Hendery hurried in a couple hours later, his hands were empty. Moreover, it seemed only the sight of Mark reminded him of the occasion. He smiled, strained.

"Ah! Happy birthday, Mark. Having a good one?" 

Mark returned the smile, his feeling similarly heavy. "It's just crazy thinking I'm twenty five. Mid twenties already, you know?" 

"You're telling me! I wouldn't give you more than eighteen," Hendery joked, haphazard. 

"Well, I'll take that as a testament to my timeless beauty." 

"Pff, whatever helps ease the burden, mate."

And with that, he went upstairs in search of Ten, likely to talk of whatever he'd left to do. 

It was rather disconcerting. Ten seldom involved Hendery in the business, although he was always open about how the shop was handled and the decisions or changes that pertained to its employees. Hendery had no experience in the field, and Ten preferred to carry the heavy load himself. For him to ask for help, it must have been a grave matter. Mark didn't mention it, waiting instead to see how their mood would evolve, and trusting they'd let him in on it once it was okay to do so. 

Mark busied himself with his clients, surrounded himself with his flowers. He pushed aside the ridiculous pang of disappointment. He cared about his friends too much, and his birth date was just that, a date amidst many others in the calendar. Every day, special or not, they only encouraged and supported him, even on those he felt drained or unwell. They listened when there was something on his mind, teased him to bring a smile to his lips, and around them he always felt at home. 

In comparison, a less than brilliant birthday hardly mattered. If anything, whatever was going on with Ten and Hendery bore much more importance. Having accepted that his day was to be one like all others, he went about it in quiet. 

"Hyuuuung!" 

Doubtlessly, the jubilant cry belonged to Chenle. Not allowing Mark to adjust to the exuberance the word had brought to the otherwise calm atmosphere, Chenle engulfed him in a hug, jumping up and down simultaneously. It was lucky there were no clients in at that moment. 

"Happy birthday!!" he exclaimed once Mark had managed to break free, thankful the greeting hadn't been said right in his ear. 

"Thank you, Chenle," he laughed. Of course the younger wouldn't tame his happiness. 

He stole Mark away ahead of his break, complaining to Ten about how he shouldn't have been working to begin with, and they went for a stroll around the area. It wasn't much, but the walk really came as a wave of relief. If anything could brighten someone's day, it was Chenle's apparently boundless enthusiasm. On their way back, Mark's eyes found their way to Funky Pluckers, being reminded of only one of its employees. 

"Does Hyuck hyung know it's your birthday?" asked Chenle. The mention of Donghyuck pulled Mark out of his thoughts. Unbeknownst to him, he'd slowed his pace, almost stopping altogether in his search for the boy. 

"We've never mentioned our birthdays, so.. no." 

"Aw, hyung," Chenle said, dejected. "I'll go tell him." 

It hadn't been just a polite suggestion - Chenle changed course immediately and was about to cross the street, when Mark grabbed his arm to hold him in place. 

"There's no need, Chenle. He already has a lot on his mind. He'll just feel bad he didn't, I don't know, do something. Leave him be," he said, and it felt like advice meant for himself rather than Chenle. 

"But, hyung, he should know! He's your friend." 

Mark gave a small smile. "There's always next year." 

"Fine, hyung," Chenle said, evidently suppressing any sign of disapproval for the sake of not disturbing Mark's wishes. "But why isn't he at our shop today?" 

A good question, one Mark had also asked himself. He hoped it had nothing to do with Sehyun or his parents. Nearly a week had passed since their return, but the situation wasn't yet fully settled. The balance seemed to be tilted in Sehyun's favour, but given their father's unpredictability... anything was possible. 

"He's probably busy there. Let's not fuss over him, okay?" he instructed, unwilling (and unable) to voice his real concern. 

Truthfully, he would have enjoyed spending his birthday with Donghyuck. Though things were always more spontaneous, more energetic with him, in the strangest way, he also had a calming effect on Mark - it was a feeling he couldn't completely place, of perfect balance. A birthday alongside Donghyuck... that was a pleasant thought, indeed. 

Nevertheless, he wouldn't linger on the mental image of that impossibility, even if it turned out to be difficult to stifle. He found himself hoping he'd at least visit them at some point. He never did, so Mark again looked for solace in his work, reminded himself to be professional. There was a time and a place for everything - work was not the place for worry. 

"Perfect, just perfect!" exclaimed Ten hours later, after a heated phone call. The clock had just struck six, and their clients were few and far between. "Hear this! The guy who was supposed to deliver that order of exotic flowers? Guess what, he's messed up our order! Brought it to someone else or something? I didn't even get it. Who does that? _How_ does one do that? Now he wants me to come clear up the confusion, as if I have nothing better to do!" 

He was uncharacteristically frustrated, but then again, he hadn't been himself since morning, so it was understandable that he'd not take well to something like this. 

"What does he want you to do?" Taeyong said, shaking his own head in mild disquiet. 

"That's what I'd like to know! It's absurd, literally absurd. You can't trust anyone, can you?" He ran a hand through his hair, and Mark saw his eyes glimmer with tears, his patience depleted. "I'm not up for this today." 

The anguish that had overcome Ten tainted the general mood. Ten wasn't one to lose his temper. He put up with any setbacks, problems, occasional unhappy clients coolly, often with a smile on his face, so to be this affected, even to the point of tears, was completely unlike him.

But Mark knew everyone had a breaking point, and he couldn't let him deal with his own in such a state. 

"I'll come with," he said. 

Ten looked at him, eyes sad, with a little forced smile. "It's your birthday, Mark. I couldn't ask that of you." 

"You didn't ask. I offered. Come on," he said, grabbing the car keys from under the counter and throwing them to Ten. Taking the lead for once, he continued, "Tae, Chenle, take care of the shop while we're out." 

Not up for conversation, Ten drove in silence. Mark studied his state carefully, but it didn't seem to improve. 

Half an hour later, they reached their destination, an old but well-kept mansion on the outskirts of the city. Mark briefly paused to look around, uncertain what was going on. There was no van, no lost delivery man. In fact, the entire neighbourhood was bathed in a quiet that was bordering on eerie. 

"The guy said there's a garden or something? We should look for a back door to it, I suppose," Ten said, as if to soothe Mark's nerves - or perhaps his own. 

"But... why not just ring the front door?" 

Ten threw both hands in the air to indicate he was just as clueless, and his impatience, his utter disdain shone through yet again. Mark decided not to look more into it, lest he'd drive his boss to a premature breakdown - he was clearly already headed that way. 

"Maybe that's the one?" Ten suggested, pointing to the huge fence towering above them where, somewhere to the side, was a door. Mark shrugged, beckoning Ten to knock. 

What else were they to do? They were quite possibly in the most random place on earth, he couldn't see the van anywhere, it made virtually no sense that the flowers or the delivery man would be inside the garden of some enormous mansion, or even that he'd have asked Ten to come there in the first place. Deep down (or not quite so deep), Mark was beginning to doubt the authenticity of the entire story and fear that they'd end up kidnapped for, what, a ransom? Who'd even pay it? That is why he couldn't trust the means by which some rich people had acquired their wealth. The whole thing was illogical. 

Moments later, the door opened. Only, before Mark could register anything, Ten had pushed him inside, where, no, he wasn't met by a confused delivery driver, nor an armed criminal, not even the unconsciousness induced by a hit to the head. He was, however, met by a very loud bang. 

Not the bang of a gun, rather an explosion of confetti. 

Wait... confetti? 

He flinched at the sound, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to step back, only to bump into Ten's chest and be shoved forward again. 

The confetti was the least surprising out of the things awaiting behind the door. Immediately after the bang and a loud cheer, he was greeted by an ecstatic, if somewhat chaotic rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. When he recovered from the scare, he realised it was being sung by all those at TENder Blooms, as well as Donghyuck and Johnny. As a matter of fact, Donghyuck was in the middle of the group, holding a cake in his hands and beaming at Mark in pure delight, while Johnny, the tallest, was filming the procession. 

So that's what was going on! 

Mark finally understood the bizarreness of the day, the strange behaviour of his friends, the outrageous story about the mishap of the flower order, and started laughing in both relief and embarrassment. 

"That's why you took all those wrong turns!" he said, an aimless thought, catching Ten's eyes. So the others could arrive before them! 

"Shhh," Ten said and resumed his singing, which was answer enough. 

"I can't believe you," he whined. It made the others laugh, but they seemed resolute to finish the song. It worked out in his favour, as he could look at each of them - fiddling with his hands, no less - and give them his most bashful smile. He was caught entirely off guard, mumbling random thoughts, not sure how to react or adjust to the circumstances, especially while everyone was staring at him. 

He noticed there was music in the background as well, a song by one of his favourite artists. 

Eventually, he caught Donghyuck's gaze as well, finding it relaxed and warm. Had he...? No, that was a dippy idea. 

"I didn't think you knew," he said, prompting a cheeky shrug from the younger. He nodded towards the cake, and Mark's eyes followed his gesture. 

It was... adorable, and not altogether surprising: a tiny Mark was picking daisies from a field of flowers and cradling Mr Snowflake under one arm. His smile reached his ears, which had been intentionally accentuated. In the background, some cacti provided the greenery needed to accentuate the vibrant colours of the flowers. Needless to say, the cake had been Donghyuck's doing. 

Mark's smile grew as he found Donghyuck's again, just as everyone began clapping. 

"Happy birthday!" they more or less cheered in unison. 

"Blow the candles!" 

"Don't forget to make a wish!" Chenle reminded him. 

A wish? He had already leaned in, ready to blow, so he had no time to think of something. Thus, he went with the first thing that crossed his mind, foolish though it may have been. _I wish for Donghyuck to be happy_ , he thought, and blew. 

Perhaps he should have been worried his first thought was of Donghyuck, not himself, but he attributed it to the fact that the boy was right in front of him. In any event, the wish was made - there was no taking it back. 

"Honestly... you didn't have to," he mumbled, aware his face was hot and likely very, very red. He didn't know what to say - no one had prepared a surprise party for him before, nor had he ever thought anyone would. It was flattering, as well as somewhat flustering. There was a bit of a nagging sentiment that they'd done too much for him. That's when it struck him, and he turned to Ten and his now happy countenance. 

"Wait, so the whole thing was staged? You're fine?" 

"Couldn't be better," he affirmed calmly. 

"I told you Ten's acting is unmatched! We had these sort of auditions, to see who could play the role without bursting into laughter after five minutes. They didn't believe me, until they actually saw him," Hendery said, obviously proud of his older brother. 

"You were seconds away from crying," Mark said in disbelief. 

"How else would I have gotten you to come with me? Needed to tug at those gentle heartstrings of yours." 

Incredulous, Mark laughed. Impeccable acting aside, the story had been so far-fetched and childish, he should have figured it out instantly. 

"But why are we dilly-dallying here? There's an entire garden to enjoy! You can continue your usual line of questioning after I put this cake down. It's heavier than you think," Donghyuck announced, mocking exhaustion. 

"You're the one who requested to carry it," joked Johnny, as Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at him. Regardless, they took his advice and advanced into the garden. 

Only then did Mark stop to admire the scenery. The garden was vast, expected considering the mansion it belonged to. But its grandeur wasn't its most impressive quality - it was how beautifully it was arranged, with the rusticity and unpredictability of an English garden and the precision and elegance of a Japanese one. At the heart of it were roses, sorted by colours and surrounded by countless other flowers, their vibrant petals gleaming in the dwindling sunlight, bees buzzing around them. 

From tree to tree hung globe fairy lights, which, given dusk was yet to fall, weren't very useful yet, but they did make the scene that much more dreamy. To one corner, a small pond girdled with marsh-marigolds and with a few water lilies floating atop it, to another, a few vegetable patches. All paths led to the the centre of the garden, which had been left bare, just well mowed grass. There it had likely been the boys themselves who'd brought the table and garden chairs. 

It was one of the most picturesque settings they could have chosen, and Mark had to consciously stop himself from gaping as he took a seat in the rocking chair, which Chenle declared had been especially reserved for him. 

"Is this... your house, Chenle?" he asked, grasping the situation. 

Chenle flashed the brightest smile. 

"Yep! My parents aren't home though, don't worry. But mum made all this food! I helped, but it's mostly her." He pointed to the table: it was filled with almost any dish imaginable, alongside many plates of watermelon slices. "She had me tell you that's her birthday gift for you!" 

Mark blushed again. Why was everyone going out of their way for him, even someone he didn't know? 

Hendery came behind his chair, laying both hands on his shoulders, and Mark had to lean his head back to see him. "No offence, but it was horrible acting like I didn't know it was your birthday, so sorry about that," he said. Mark should have hit him for apologising needlessly. 

"And he acts like he doesn't care. Awww," cooed Ten. Hendery sprang after him, but Ten quickly hid behind Johnny's large, albeit completely unintimidating form. 

"Let's not fight on Mark's birthday, fellows," he said, patting Ten's hands with a smile, hands which were wrapped securely around his waist. "Hyuck will throw you all out if you ruin anything, remember?" 

"Hyuck?" Mark said, eyes flickering to the boy, who was toying with a fringed paper blowout, avoiding his gaze. 

"He came up with the idea, didn't he?" Johnny continued. "Planned and organised the whole surprise." 

"We all made it happen-" Donghyuck began, but Taeyong cut in softly. 

"No one more than you. He went all out, stealing moments with each of us as often as he could, organising brainstorming sessions, texting us daily." 

"Yes!" Chenle agreed cheerfully. "He wanted it to be special, that's why we're here. We thought of doing it at the shop, but he was like 'Noo, we need flowers, fresh air, nature' and eventually we decided to hold it here!" 

Curiously, Donghyuck was still focusing on the blowout, cheeks deeply tinted. "A park was too public, not your sort of thing. But you like flowers, so..." 

"He also had us take photos of all the flower arrangements we made in secret, to check if they were perfect. As if we haven't been doing this for years! We're not amateurs," Ten said, rolling his eyes in good nature. He was referring to the simple but elegant flower arrangements placed around area. 

"But he worked harder than all of us, you should have seen how long he-" 

"That's enough of that! Are we here for Mark or me?" Donghyuck blurted. Despite the enthusiasm he was trying to portray, he was evidently embarrassed. What's worse, the one time Mark had the opportunity to tease him back, he couldn't. Though grateful, he was feeling just as embarrassed as him. 

So he had been the mastermind behind the whole thing, just as Mark had intuited (or... hoped?) but chosen not to believe. 

To halt any comments on his merits, Donghyuck placed a metal headband with the words 'It's My Birthday!' in bold colours on Mark's head and grinned. "There we go, now you're back to being the centre of attention, as you should be." 

"Thank you," Mark said, biting his lip. Deciding to extend the thank you, for Donghyuck's sake as well as his own, he added, "All of you. I really didn't expect something like this." 

"You more than deserve it, Mark," said Taeyong. 

"The most," Chenle agreed. 

Did he indeed? 

Ignoring his pleas not to give him any presents, the boys each set boxes and gift bags next to him, varying in size and shape. Each was special, with a small story behind choosing it that was inevitably told as the gift was opened. Even Johnny had gotten him something, namely a Coldplay LP, explaining that he'd hoped it would suit his taste. 

When Donghyuck's turn came, Mark was surprised at the care with which he lowered the box in his lap, asking him to be gentle. After taking out some bubble wrap, he found an irregular, geometrical glass terrarium inside, large and modern. A portion of it was open, which explained Donghyuck's warning. In it, various ferns, some small rocks, moss, even some blooming spiderwort for that splash of colour, upon layers of soil and pebbles. 

"Donghyuck made this himself. He was really meticulous," Hendery revealed. 

"Really? It's so beautiful, Hyuck," Mark said. Still enraptured, he took the terrarium out to examine it. Everything was expertly arranged, in perfect harmony.

Donghyuck shrugged casually, but he was trying to disguise a smile. "I think something handmade is always more meaningful. And your room needs some life." 

"It definitely won't lack any now. I'll take good care of it, promise." His eyes were steadfast on the younger's as he thanked him, and it only deepened the pink on his cheeks. Mark was sure he likely bore a similar coloration, though he couldn't explain either of their timidity.

Soon after, Chenle called out, "The cake! We need to cut the cake!" 

Stars now sprinkled the sky, the fairy lights sent streaks of gold careening off the windows. The sweet fragrance of roses and the crisp tang of watermelon wafted through the air. It was the perfect time for cake.

"The first slice is yours, Mark," Taeyong said, handing Mark a long knife, which he mused should never be placed in his hands. 

Mark had to admire the intricately designed cake before cutting. Strangely, he felt attached to it, so ruining seemed a shame.

"Having second thoughts?" Donghyuck joked. 

"You really went all out even with the cake, didn't you?" Mark said, not missing a beat. The younger began fidgeting.

"What's the point if it's not special? It's just food otherwise." He grinned, pointing to Mrs Snowflake. "He turned out real cute, didn't he? I had to sneak into your room and take a photo of him for Kun to get him right-" 

"Kun? Kun made it?" 

"We made a special order. You'll be glad to know he was very excited to bake it for you. He even said this might be one of his best yet," Ten informed him. 

The smallest details... not even they had been neglected. 

"I talked his ears off, but it was worth it! Turned out adorable," Donghyuck said, nodded in satisfaction. "Do you know how hard it was to decide what to put in your hands? A watermelon was a bit silly, another daisy redundant... I did consider a duckling, but that would have been a bit on the nose, right?" 

"Why a duckling?" Hendery asked, less from confusion and more from the evil desire to tease Mark about it for all eternity. Donghyuck had started explaining, but Mark cupped a hand over his mouth, throwing him a pleading look to save him at least this embarrassment. 

Once the cake had been cut and the slices distributed, everyone began talking amidst themselves and praising Kun's delicious creation. 

"How did you even know, Hyuck?" Mark asked, taking advantage of the one time they were more or less alone. 

Donghyuck bumped into him gently, warm little expression on his face. "Well, you did say you were almost twenty five. Doesn't take a genius to work that out. I asked Ten not long after I started working at your shop, but I wasn't initially going to do... this. But after you came..." He stopped, shaking his head. "After nothing. I'm grateful for that, but I did it because you deserved it. Plus, you know, gotta uphold my unpredictable reputation, no?" 

His tone was light, but Mark couldn't help but notice the softness behind it. Mark suddenly felt full of the joys of spring. Part of him wanted to jump. 

"No ulterior motives then?" 

"Oh, yeah, totally forgot, I was gonna ask you to sell your soul to the devil," he deadpaned. "I just wanted you to be happy today. You... Yeah. You helped me a lot, and I don't know, I-" 

"You don't owe me anything, if that's what you think, Hyuck." 

That brought a smile to Donghyuck's lips. "It's not about owing. I just wanted to do this for you, that's all. If you're happy... then it was worth it." 

Mark didn't know what overcame him. Whatever it was, he pulled Donghyuck into a hug, tucked his face in the crook of his neck. Perhaps he didn't always need to say thank you for it to be evident from his actions. 

This time around, it was Donghyuck who was taken aback. He recovered quickly enough, wrapping one hand around him, another patting his head. 

"Is this a birthday thing, or have you grown to like hugs, Mark?" 

"Maybe," he said. _Only yours_ , the rest of the thought went. 

"And this morning he was telling me he felt the same as he did at twenty four... Look at him now! He's all grown up, it's like I don't know him anymore," Ten's emotional voice sounded from behind him. 

Part of him wanted to step away from Donghyuck in awkwardness, but the other, much more potent part held on, convinced that Donghyuck had earned a hug after pouring his heart into this party - for him. And... it was a warm feeling, hugging him again.

"Shut up, Ten," Mark said, drawing a laugh from Donghyuck and a pained gasp from Ten. 

"See how he treats me, Johnny? Finds out Donghyuck did one nice thing for him, then he betrays us all." 

"There, there," Johnny said, playing along with Ten's performance. 

To call it a party was going a bit too far - it was a sweet, relaxed affair, much like Mark preferred. Everyone took turns choosing music while they played games or just talked. Chenle even took them to his room to check out the framed selfie he had by his bed, with all the TENder Blooms employees. He suggested they take a new one, this time including Donghyuck and Johnny, to commemorate their friendship and the successful birthday surprise. 

Easier said than done. They had to squeeze together and frame it so that the decorations could also been seen. Johnny was the designated photographer, Chenle ended up holding a balloon, Ten was blowing into a blowout, Hendery just dotted some of the confetti from earlier on his head and shoulders, and Taeyong, the poor thing, had been persuaded to wear a huge pair of multicoloured paper glasses. Naturally, Mark was pushed to the front, that ludicrous headband still on his head, and Donghyuck, who'd wound up behind him, was pulling his hair up and sticking his tongue down at him, the perfect moment to capture.

It was pure chaos, in the best way. 

Right before midnight, as everyone slacked off, Mark saw Donghyuck retreating by the pond, swaying side to side, sipping some iced tea. He hadn't even noticed him break apart from the others. Perhaps because he'd had a few drinks and was feeling more foolhardy, Mark eyed an opportunity to slip away and joined him. 

"Hyuck," he said as soon as he'd reached him. "Let's slope off." 

"Leave? Your own party, Mark? The guys came here for you," Donghyuck said, but he looked intrigued. 

"They'll go to sleep soon, they're not the kind to pull all nighters." He somehow ended up pouting, though goodness knows how that happened. "I don't want the day to end. Let's do something." 

Donghyuck laughed but started heading towards the exit. If anyone noticed, they said nothing. 

"As you wish, birthday boy. What do we do?" 

"I don't know. Anything you like." 

"Anything _I_ like? Are you really putting your faith in me like that, Markles? You and your perfectly constructed comfort zone?" 

Mark scoffed. They had already walked out the door and into neighbourhood. At night, the quiescence was almost stifling, created by a life so tranquil it could only belong to those of the highest class. Only the distant music and the colourful lights spilling out from Chenle's yard brightened this very formal atmosphere. 

"We all have them," he said. Even so, he could do without one. Or, at the very least, he could hope to do something for Donghyuck too, or with Donghyuck. The day had been all his, and the younger had done too much for him. He didn't feel bad, not for something that was out of his control, but he did want to even things. "Let's just do one of those crazy things you talked about. Bungee jumping or camping on... campus." 

"Mark, I get it's your birthday and you want to live to the fullest, but other people haven't rebuked sleep. Both those places are closed at this time, so, unless you want to break in..." he trailed off, petulant enough, hinting at their earlier brush with a similar occurrence. 

"I don't know then. Anything new, something I haven't done before." 

"How am I supposed to know what you haven't done?" Mark raised a questioning brow at him, and it made Donghyuck laugh and throw an arm around his shoulders. "Fair enough, I can probably tell. Alright then. I have just the thing." 

And Mark decided Donghyuck could come up with the most preposterous ideas, and still Mark would trust he'd have his best interest at heart, would only push his limits. It would always be safe, always make him rethink something, return happy. 

The walk was a mix of quiet and talk, though in hindsight, Mark realised he'd been the one to change subjects the most, keeping the conversation dynamic and unpredictable. Donghyuck let him, eyes crinkling prettily. 

Prettily? Not prettily. Just... softly. 

"Not... another park? Hyuck..." Mark said when they arrived before a large canopy of darkness. He wasn't given the chance to whine about how that wasn't new to him, as he saw a silhouette to his left.

Following the movement, he found a fox looking at him with big, glossy eyes. It was frightened, but curious too. Mark just stared at it with parted lips for a few seconds, afraid to say anything and frighten it. Donghyuck had seen it too, so the commentary could wait. 

Feeling the moment needed to be captured, he reached into his pocket for his phone. A slow, nonthreatening move, but it startled the fox regardless. With its agile, somewhat wobbly walk, it continued its journey and entered a house's yard through a crack in the fence, disappearing from view. 

A hand clapped him on the back, followed by Donghyuck's chuckle. "Not bad! I know you're the straightforward one, but I wasn't expecting the sightings to begin before we even entered the forest." 

"Sightings?" 

"I thought we should try to see what wildlife we can spot. This forest's teeming with animals, even if it's fairly close to populated areas. Apparently it's easier to see them at night, so here we are." He poked Mark's cheek, cheeky smile in tow. "I know you wanted something crazy, but it's night and, anyway... sometimes it's nice to slow down a bit, I won't lie. Spotting wildlife seems like something you'd like." 

Of course it was. The sort of thing Mark liked doing, yet not the sort he actually did - not often, in any case. It seemed Donghyuck cared more for his interests than he himself did. 

Donghyuck had indeed brought him to a forest, kept as such, not transformed into a park. There were a few footpaths, but no benches, no signs, just nature left to its own devices. The little patch of forest was completely deserted so late at night, and Mark soon decided Donghyuck's idea had been a great one. Every few minutes, they'd spot something else. He saw a few bunnies, an owl, a couple more foxes, even a fawn peering from behind some trees. But Mark's favourite was a lone hedgehog that he almost stepped on by accident. 

"Careful!" Donghyuck exclaimed, somehow detecting the small creature in the dirt. He caught Mark's arm, making him drop his phone (also known as their only source of light) and throwing him off balance. Mark stumbled back, his fall stopped by Donghyuck, whose arms quickly encircled him. "Look!" 

The little hedgehog didn't seem to notice them, or better said, didn't care much for their presence. It walked slowly, like a bundle of needles. There was something calm to it, its unconcerned way of life. 

"How come we always find cute animals when we hang out?" Mark said. 

"I'll do you one better. How come I always have to save you when we hang out? First it was a bike, now your spotless reputation. Also this guy's life, but that goes without saying," Donghyuck said, rubbing his chin as if greatly troubled by his responsibility. "What would you do without me, Markles?" 

It stood that his life would be simpler (duller, Donghyuck would have reworded) without the younger, but it seemed to him that simpler no longer meant better. Their connection was special. Not friendship; he could've called it that, and they were indeed friends, but there was more to it. None of his other friendships had been like this - initially tumultuous, before quickly becoming so comfortable, safe. They were a strange duo, perhaps, but there was no denying their strange affinity for each other. 

"Hm... sleeping? Maybe dreaming about hedgehogs?" he said. Direct though he may have been, not even Mark could stand to always bare his heart and make every moment more serious than necessary. 

"Tsk tsk... please remember _you_ had us forsake our sleep for the sake of adventure. And so we are! C'mon." 

Much more careful not to injure any animals on their quest, they pressed on through the dense forest, the dark trails barely noticeable beneath their feet. After they'd seen enough wildlife, they'd turned off their torch, opting for a more authentic experience. It wasn't... pleasant; they'd occasionally trip on some root or rock, while the snapping twigs in the distance and the passing shadows around them were often startling. Yet it was refreshing, to rely on other senses other than their sight. To rely on each other - a warning if they'd noticed something, a steadying hand in the event of a wrong step, simply the solid presence of one another. 

Eventually, an opening revealed the fluttering lights of the city below them. Most of it was visible - it seemed they'd climbed quite a bit, though Mark hadn't even noticed, too concentrated on keeping his balance in the tricky footing. 

" _Harry, I've reached the top!_ " Donghyuck cried, falling into a set of giggles at Mark's stupefied expression. "Come on, you can't tell me you haven't watched Home Alone at least _once_ in your life." 

Mark had to hold in a cackle of his own. "I hope you won't fall down this hill like he did, at least." 

Donghyuck all but threw himself on the ground, right on his back, spreading his arms out merrily. "Nah. But I can lie down!" 

"Marvellous character development," Mark said, smiling. Aided by the pale yellow of the moon, he could see Donghyuck properly again, so joyful in this idyllic setting. He bubbled with mirth and humour and freedom and possibility, and Mark had to convince himself not to stare. 

"Hmph. I'll let you steal my retort just this one time. Birthday and all," Donghyuck said. He briefly pressed his cheek to the grass, likely in search of coldness; his face did seem flushed from their arduous walk. "A breather! That was exhausting. Fun, but exhausting." 

He looked tired, though it was just signs here and there, nothing concrete. Mark blamed it on the late hour, aggravated by the effort. 

"But fun!" Mark said, surprisingly the energetic one. "Seeing all the animals--" 

"Mostly just flashes of them.." 

"--Even a badger! I've never seen a badger." 

"You didn't see the hedgehog either. Almost killed the poor fellow. And scaring that fawn by tripping on the anthill... Wow. Near death experiences, bringing terror into the woods, house demolition... all in a day's work." 

Mark crossed his arms, exhaling languidly. "Didn't you say you were exhausted? Where's all this sudden energy to make fun of me coming from?" 

Donghyuck tapped his chest with exaggerated pride. "Deep within. But I _am_ tired. Aren't you?" he said, now patting the ground next to him - an invitation. Mark took it. Ended up lying on the cold, prickly grass, finally getting a moment to breathe, to rest. 

A woven scent of tree sap and moss floated around them, the silent lullaby of a forest dozing off. A distant, fleeting thought came to Mark. If he were to shuffle closer to him, would Donghyuck still smell of citrus and lily of the valley, a summer day, drinking lemonade in the garden? He hadn't paid attention when they'd hugged earlier; he'd been nervous and flattered and a little bit self-conscious. It was an odd thought that he discarded. 

"But Donghyuck," he said, a little hushed. Donghyuck could hear him. He could hear his breaths, if he tried, or wanted. "I had a blast today. The party was amazing." 

"'Course you did. Everyone you care about was there!" he said in jest, but the sentiment behind the words was tender, happy. "Well, not everyone. I asked Ten to contact your parents... but apparently they're abroad for a while, with work or something?" 

"They are, yeah. It's fine, they texted me right at midnight, which was like 5 am for them. We were supposed to Skype, but then all this happened. But it's okay. They'll be grateful to know someone put so much thought and effort into making my birthday special." He paused, making sure to look at Donghyuck for this. "Thank you, again." 

Donghyuck smiled, eyes somehow sunnier with the laugh lines around them. 

"Anytime, Markles. I aim to please." 

"Oh God, please never say that to me again," Mark groaned, rubbing his temples to stop a headache from kicking in. A few drinks and an unpleasant memory and he was bound to end up with a migraine. 

"War flashbacks?" the younger laughed quietly, like magnolia leaves coursing through the wind, but he was already sitting up. Mark frowned. That wasn't enough rest for such an eventful day. 

Still, Donghyuck started feeling through his pocket, incentive enough for Mark to follow his lead. Then, he produced a box, like the kind used for jewelry. 

"For you," he said, setting it in Mark's palm. It was light, almost weightless. "I was, uh, going to give it to you earlier, but I kept hesitating. I sort of wanted to do it when not everyone was watching. They teased enough as is. You can open it. If, uh, you want." 

Gently, Mark lifted the the lid. Inside, on a bed of velvet, crimson like the box, lied two thin bracelets. Picking them up, Mark noticed they hadn't been randomly chosen. 

They were identical, string bracelets, with beads which alternated to form either daisies or sunflowers. Though evidently well made, they did not look store bought. 

"You made these?" Mark asked, meeting Donghyuck's eyes. Well, trying to - the younger was picking at some grass between them idly, eyes trained on that. 

"Well, yeah. I wanted to do only daisies first and sunflowers for me, but then I thought of this and went with that. It's so they're identical, you know. Different is fine too, but I was thinking it was nicer if... you know... they were the same?" 

A little restrained apprehension in his tone. Oh. That's why there were two. One for each of them. 

Mark's lips curled into a smile at the discovery. He slipped one on his wrist, just as Donghyuck began mumbling ("You don't have to wear it, I don't know if it's your style-"), and outstretched his palm with the other bracelet for him to take. The acceptance bloomed a smile on Donghyuck's face too, and he put on his own bracelet. The coffee coloured string proved a great contrast between the white and yellow buds, especially on his wrist. 

Both their wrists. 

Why was Mark focusing on that instead of the present itself? 

"So your goal was for us to match," Mark said, to lighten the mood. Or to get the idea out his head. 

"I don't know what the goal was. But you can go with that theory, sure," Donghyuck said, shrugged. 

No, that was a half truth. There was more to the gift, and Mark had to probe further. 

"So it's just your everyday gift? I can give mine to someone else?" 

Donghyuck shook his head in resignation, but not anger. He understood Mark simply wanted the truth.

"Fine. I just... I never got around to properly thanking you for being there with me last week. It meant so much to me. Things calmed down. Father will always be father, but Sehyun called yesterday to say he's given in. She's taking up psychology." A spark of relief passed in his eyes. "She'll be happy. Or, you know, do something that makes her happy. And you're also to thank for it, don't even deny it. I couldn't have done most of that without you, or try to put it behind me so quickly. So... yeah." 

His expression was impossibly soft again, but Mark felt something was amiss - not with the younger's explanation, but somewhere inside of him. He was relieved and satisfied, as of course Sehyun deserved it. He'd been just as dedicated to her cause. But there was a pang of hurt deeper down, too. 

"It's just a thank you?" he asked. It came out quiet and absurd when it had no reason to. Donghyuck blinked at him, then shook his head vehemently. 

"What? No. That's not what I meant. I... What you did meant a lot to me, but that means you do too. I don't know how to word it." Mark's strange reaction had obviously put him on the spot. "It's- We both have one, you know? Like... a friendship bracelet." 

Mark's eyes lingered on the small beaded string. A friendship bracelet. Is that where the hurt was surfacing from? What had he expected, anyway? Why would he have expected anything else? Friendship. Was that the word that stung? 

His eyes returned to Donghyuck, who looked confused, but also slightly crestfallen - he'd given Mark a beautiful, handmade bracelet that would match his own and Mark was acting entitled and cold. That's not what he'd intended. He nearly reached out to him to make up for his reaction, when it hit him fully. 

Oh. Friendship. _Just_ friendship. Donghyuck had gifted him a friendship bracelet and Mark had thought it might mean something else. Maybe not now, but...

Someone really, really needed to give him a wake up call. 

He smiled in spite of himself, because he was ridiculous. Embarrassing. Donghyuck was his friend, this was foolish. Of course he'd give him a friendship bracelet, and Mark would have done the same, because they were _friends_. That's what they were and that's what he wanted them to be. 

God, when and why had he started heading down this path? 

"Yeah, I get it. It's great. Thank you, Hyuck." 

Donghyuck was side eyeing him like he'd suddenly become a different person. 

"You do realise you don't have to pretend to like it if you don't, right? It's cool. We're long past stuff like that." 

"No! I love it. I really do. Everything you did today, but this especially. I'll treasure it." He barely held back from wincing at what he felt he was implying. But he wasn't implying anything, and Donghyuck wouldn't think he was, since this was just another of their usual conversations. There was nothing to overthink about it. 

No, wait, what if... what if Donghyuck could read that off of him too? He looked for some sort of realisation in Donghyuck's eyes, while trying to show nothing, or rather, show contentment in his own. He found no such thing - merely puzzlement. 

"Hyuck," he said, letting himself smile. That much was sincere, as though he was panicking, he was also amused at the senselessness of the situation. "Don't mind me. Today's just been a roller coaster, I still haven't wrapped my head around everything. And it's the alcohol too, honestly. But I really do like it. I'll love it even more tomorrow morning when we'll both have rested and I won't be worrying about you rolling down this hill in your tiredness and I won't have a million thoughts and feelings up in my brain. And I'm happy for Sehyun too, so happy. You have to let me congratulate her tomorrow. Just... not today." 

Donghyuck visibly relaxed. With this new knowledge, he looked at him sympathetically. Mark wasn't one to hide his real feelings, he'd proved as much, so Donghyuck believed him. Rightfully so: he loved the bracelet, and it had been a long day. But the other thoughts... those he wouldn't, he couldn't let surface. 

"Can't argue with that, Markles." He lay down, on his side this time, back turned to Mark. "C'mon." 

"What? You want to sleep here?" Mark asked in alarm. 

"We're not even close to the edge, chill. Besides, you don't really move in your sleep. So c'mon." 

He did have a point, and Mark couldn't tackle the distance to Chenle's house even if he tried. It was warm too, so... to hell with it. He had bigger problems to worry about than sleeping in a forest.

He pillowed his head on his arm, same as the younger, while his other arm was pulled by Donghyuck and rested on his waist. Here they were again, in the very position from back at Donghyuck's house, only now Mark's awkwardness was fuelled by something else entirely. 

"Happy birthday, Mark," Donghyuck whispered. 

"..Good night, Hyuck," Mark whispered back. 

Even with his eyes closed, Donghyuck appeared in his mind an endless series of yellows and oranges, somehow glowing brighter every time Donghyuck's chest rose and fell with his steady breath. It was so often this way - when Donghyuck settled into tranquility, Mark became the tireless one. He might never have been more tireless than in that moment, as he fought with an unpleasant discovery and tried to calm his mind. Hoped not to interpret what it meant.

As he descended into sleep, he realised that Donghyuck did, indeed, smell of citrus and lily of the valley, merged with grass and watermelon, dazzling and blissful. He tried to take the silly ideas with him to sleep, praying to wake up without them, but that unique scent followed him all throughout the night, a haunting memory and an unnameable longing. 


	10. Chapter 10

Lily of the valley and citrus. 

Mark would hate that smell, if he could. What with how it had haunted him, day in and day out, for months, finding its way even into his dreams, he _should_ have hated it. 

Yet he couldn't. Not when the mere memory of it rekindled his other senses and they all stumbled and crashed and finally settled, crystallised into a vivid image of Donghyuck, an echo of his laughter, a tickling remembrance of his warmth. 

No... who could hate that? How could he?

He also couldn't push that fragrance, as well as what it meant, out of his mind, no more than he could physically keep his distance from Donghyuck. If their common workplace had been the only hindrance, he wouldn't be in this predicament. But it was more complicated than that; it was obvious, to everyone as well as themselves, that they'd more or less become a significant part of each other's days. Mark had no desire for things to go back to the way they'd been before summer had started - he was fairly sure they never would. 

Mark had accidentally been thrown into Donghyuck's personal, family life and had gotten to know him a lot better, a lot faster than one normally would. Could all he'd witnessed and taken part of have awakened some feeling of responsibility towards Donghyuck, subconsciously? No, that wasn't it, of course not. He couldn't decipher the reasons for the deeper understanding between them, but it was clearly leading to disaster.

Namely, a part of Mark had started considering ideas that could never stand, ideas that he needed to trammel. 

But if ideas might be ignored, feelings, once they take root, are much harder to weed out. Mark tried, he valiantly tried, to pretend the whole situation was a mere slip, an unfounded thought, as a result of the exaltation of his birthday surprise, a flattered ego thanks to Donghyuck's care, a witless notion which could be attributed to the consumption of alcohol. Yet the more he tried to fool himself, the more he realised that what he felt, the amalgam of umpteen of emotions, could be traced to a time much earlier than that night, before sunflower and daisy bracelets even played a part in the whole thing. 

In one word, Mark was helpless. 

Helpless, and a great deal uncertain.

Truthfully, he'd never been in any proper relationships. As a teenager, he didn't see their point, nor did he meet anyone to make him reconsider his beliefs. Afterwards, he spent his university years so immersed in his studies that half of them were a blur, the other half a pleasant time surrounded by the roommates who'd become his friends. At twenty five, perhaps he shouldn't have been so skittish about such feelings, but he had little experience to help, nor did he grow up with a particularly open mindset towards these things. 

Not to mention, this was Donghyuck. Why that played a part in it, he wasn't entirely sure. 

Except that he really, really didn't want to lose him.

By the time autumn had overwhelmed the city, chillier days setting in, Mark's heart had started shivering as well, but not because of the cold. If anything, it was the warmth that proved harder to be immune to - the warmth of Donghyuck, smile and touch and laughter and everything in between. The both of them might've been children of summer, but with each day that passed, Mark was more convinced that the one who fully embodied summer's traits was Donghyuck alone. 

It would be a while later that he'd put two and two together, after overhearing one of Donghyuck and Johnny's conversations, and distinguish the meaning behind his stage name: Haechan, as in Full Sun. Yes. How very fitting. 

And it made sense, he began thinking, it felt but natural to care deeply for Donghyuck - so natural that he wondered how anyone who was around him, who'd gotten to know him, would ever be able to feel differently. 

But, then again, as Donghyuck would occasionally remind him, not many did get to properly know him. 

Mark was lucky, yet were his feelings equally so? 

"Why do you hate guitars so much?" Donghyuck asked one day, sat as he was on the sofa upstairs, hugging one leg to his chest. 

Mark blinked at him in surprise. It was a sudden question, completely unrelated to their conversation. "What do you mean? I told you, I don't like-" 

"Rock, I get it," Donghyuck finished for him. "I mean, I don't get it. Rock is superior in every way, but you're not ready for that conversation." He threw Mark a dirty look, half passive-aggressive and half ironic. "But it's not only rock, is it? It just hit me that for a while you were all unwilling to enter the shop, even after Johnny put an end to the music sessions. And don't tell me it was just 'cause you hated me, like, you couldn't have hated me _that_ much." 

Mark might have argued that he had, for a while, but stayed quiet. It didn't need recalling. 

"Besides, there's still times I see you look at them silly. So? What's all that about?" 

There was something to be said about Donghyuck's observation skills, as there was indeed some truth to his claims. In any event, it was a matter Mark hadn't talked to anyone about, because, though not necessarily a personal or sensitive subject, it wasn't a memory he was fond of. He could be allowed to bury some things, couldn't he? 

"It's, uh..." Mark coughed in his fist, throat a bit tight. Well, he could dig it out just once, for the sake of Donghyuck's curiosity. Besides, it was hard to keep anything from him. Maybe it was that he felt guilty for disliking something Donghyuck loved, or maybe it was simply because he was so comfortable around him, able to tell him anything on his mind - or simply both. "Promise you won't laugh? It's sort of... stupid." 

"Can't make any such promises, Markles. I love using your deepest, most embarrassing secrets against you." 

Mark rolled his eyes, aware the younger was joking. Or, well, hoping he was. 

He caught Donghyuck's gaze then. His smile was blinding, and it flickered in his eyes like a banked fire. Still, he looked curious, calm even, ready to hear anything Mark had to say, which inspirited him a bit. 

Everything Donghyuck did had that effect on him. Ridiculous, really. 

"I think it happened in maybe eight grade, ninth? I can't remember that well, it was a long time ago. I, uh... I played guitar back then." 

"What?!" Donghyuck nearly shrieked, prompting an embarrassed Mark to cover his mouth with both hands. "'Ou? Mwark Lwee?!" he added, the words muffled. 

"Me, yeah. No need to yell. It was my hobby back then. I played for years. My dad even thought I'd end up in a successful indie band or something. I had lessons twice a week, plus I sometimes played at school festivities or parties... it was this whole thing," Mark recounted, feeling a light pang of nostalgia. Donghyuck had stilled, listening with interest, so Mark let his hands drop back in his lap. "I loved it, actually, though it feels weird to say that now." 

"So you were good at it?" 

Donghyuck was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms, watching Mark intently. Again, because recently it had become a habit, Mark cleared his throat and looked away from Donghyuck, from his eyes and the way they held an entire world deep within them. 

"People said I was. I, um, thought so too." 

The younger nodded. There was an aura of calm and quiet about him, one Mark had learnt to expect amid all the different sides of Donghyuck, one he truly appreciated. 

"I auditioned for this singing competition. Got cocky, thought I didn't even need to practice, which was pretty daft looking back. I guess all the praise got to my head a little bit. Anyway, I get there, and the moment I string the first few chords I realise the guitar isn't even tuned." 

A tinge of concern flashed across Donghyuck's face. 

"It was ridiculous. Amateurish. I could've stopped and asked for a few moments to tune it, obviously, but instead I got so, so nervous. Everyone was staring at me, it was crazy overwhelming, I'd messed up and I knew I was done for. My hands were clammy and shaking. I continued playing so badly, my singing was off pitch and the chords were all messed up. And uh, yup. You can figure out the rest." 

Donghyuck sighed. "They didn't make fun of you though, did they?" 

"If belittling counts as making fun of me, then yeah, they did." 

It was as if the hurt and embarrassment he'd felt back then was mirrored in Donghyuck's eyes now. He seemed to want to reach forward, perhaps for a hug, but then faltered with a frown. 

"And that was it? You hated guitars? Stopped playing?" Mark shrugged as way of confirmation. He didn't know what to say at the sight of Donghyuck's animation. "Why?" 

"Why..?" Mark repeated, staring blankly. It wasn't much of a story, but it had started an irrational hate of guitars that he had never tried to get over. He'd gifted his guitar to one of his friends, and couldn't be convinced by either parents or teachers to take playing on again. He'd never dwelled much on it, up until then. "I don't know. I think... I suppose it's because I'm a perfectionist." 

"I am too, yeah," Donghyuck mumbled so quietly that Mark had to strain to make out the words. 

"Well, then you know how much pressure we put on ourselves. I hated feeling like a failure, so I stopped and... here we are," Mark said. 

A silence hung over them, bordering on awkward. Then Donghyuck's eyes bore into Mark's, and next he spoke his voice was deep, stern, altering the entire ambience of the room. 

"But that just means you don't stop. You mess up and maybe it sucks even more than it would for other people, but you try again. And again. And again, again, again, until you get it right, until it's perfect. You don't let a setback stop you. You push forward. Didn't you say a few days back that you fall seven times and get up eight? It's like that." 

Instead of letting the older answer, he rose abruptly and walked away, running down the stairs before Mark could even process what was happening. 

"Wait, what? Wait! Hyuck!" 

By the time Mark had reached the door downstairs and called out after him, Donghyuck was already marching towards his own shop, his steps large and momentous. 

Mark could only stare in something akin to horror after him, trying to rack his brain for what he'd said that could have unsettled him so as to up and leave. 

The sensation was distressing because it was an uncommon one. Notwithstanding the rocky start to their friendship, they'd never argued, so Mark had no idea how to deal with a Donghyuck who'd just stormed out mid conversation. Since he didn't know what had caused the reaction, he couldn't blame himself either, but that didn't stop him from overthinking everything to the point of worry as he shambled back upstairs, deciding to give Donghyuck time to cool off. 

Just when he'd sat down again, the door opened and in burst Donghyuck. Only this time, he was holding a guitar in his hands. 

"Take it," he said, though he'd already pushed the instrument towards Mark, the older's hands grasping it on impulse, still shocked to see Donghyuck back. The younger took a seat next to him, watching expectantly. 

"Wait, what?" Oh no. No, no, absolutely, certainly not. "Do you want me to play? No." He tried to return the guitar, but to no avail. "You don't, do you?" 

"I don't _want_ you to play. I know you'll love it if you do. Go on." 

Mark gaped. He glanced between the guitar and the boy, unsure whether to get up and flee the scene then and there, or to try to reason with him. 

"Hyuck, listen--" 

Pertinacious, the younger shook his head, eyes closed, hand lifted in a 'stop' gesture. 

"-- I... I haven't played for years. I don't know how to-" 

"First let's see you try. Then we can talk about it." 

"Hyuck," Mark downright whimpered, at a loss for words. 

"Mark," Donghyuck said, soft this time, holding his gaze. He placed his hand on the back of Mark's neck, rubbed gently, a chilling yet soothing sensation. "You know me. I'm all about a bit of fun, just as long as it doesn't hurt you. I don't think this will though. I think you're just afraid. Don't be." He smiled, poked the same spot on Mark's neck as if to restart him. "You've got this. Just give it a go." 

Donghyuck would be the end of him. More precisely, that earnest, sunny expression on his face would be the end of him. He had no control over himself at the sight of it. 

For goodness' sake. Alright. 

Taking in a deep breath and letting go of any and all expectations, Mark nodded. What's the worst that could happen? 

Experimentally, he strummed a few chords, cringing at himself. With Donghyuck's encouraging touch on his knee, Mark focused solely on the roughness of the strings beneath his fingers, the slight discomfort they caused his skin. It was a feeling from a different life, but Mark heartened himself and continued, moving on pure instinct, memory. 

The short strum was better than expected, given he hadn't as much as picked up a guitar in over a decade, but the moment a note came out far too off pitch, he pressed his palm to the strings, closing his eyes in recollection of the past. A bitter taste filled his mouth. 

"See! What were you worried about?" Donghyuck said and patted his arm. Noticing Mark's grimace, he continued, "You know what I think, Mark? I think you're being too hard on yourself. How many would still be able to play after such a long time? But you did! You've obviously got talent. Mad instincts." 

"...It was terrible, Hyuck." 

"Everything considered? No, it wasn't. Listen, what was one of your favourite songs to play back then?" 

Mark exhaled deeply. He could sense where this was going. "I'm Yours, by Jason Mraz." 

"You're in luck!" Was he? He felt the opposite of 'in luck'. "I know that one. Let's give it a try," Donghyuck said, moving closer to Mark and guiding his hands to the right position, one arm circling his back, pressed against him. Mark tried to steady his breath for a different reason now, and decidedly stop himself from looking at Donghyuck. 

The attempt should have failed for a number of reasons, but perhaps Donghyuck's resolve was stronger than them all, for it didn't. A distant memory of the hundred times Mark had practiced the few simple chords moved his fingers for him (with some added help from Donghyuck). He often wavered when having to change the position of his left hand, moving slowly, but Donghyuck never let him take his hands off the guitar, helping him instead and occasionally pressing his own finger where Mark's was missing. He sang too, adjusting the speed (at times stopping altogether) to Mark's strumming. 

They played the entire song, and what Mark had expected to be a dreadful experience had turned to be brimming with giggles and amused shakes of the head. When Donghyuck asked for another song, he had no choice but to accept, giving in to a forgotten joy. 

After the fourth, slightly more challenging song, Donghyuck pulled away, all radiant and excited and proud, and Mark would have let the earth swallow him if he didn't know that would mean never again seeing Donghyuck smile. 

"Mark! You are an idiot!" he announced, the last affirmation you'd expect to be uttered so merrily. "You stopped playing because of a setback when you play so well after a decade? I could hit you!" And he did hit him, a quick slap on the arm. "You're exasperating, honestly Mark." 

The older rubbed his injury and tried to suppress his own mirth. Playing again had erased much of the previous animosity. 

"I mean, it wasn't that-" 

"If you say it wasn't good I will hit you again, honest to God," Donghyuck said, holding in his excitement long enough to glare at Mark. "Forget how it sounded. How did you feel?" 

Happy, free... A child again. Content. 

"Well, good. It was... nice." 

"Was it truly? Don't just say that. We're doing this for you, not for me." 

Mark raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you taking over my job of worrying?" Donghyuck rolled his eyes with the subtlety of a raven among a sea of doves. "Will you have me say it word for word? ...I liked it, yes. It was fun." 

"And?" 

"And...? You were right? Is that what you want to hear?" 

"Mark, at times I cannot understand how your brain can juggle both intelligence and silliness. No, when are we starting the guitar lessons, that's what I want to hear." 

Mark blinked once, twice, until the meaning actually hit him. "You mean... you want to teach me how to play?" 

"If you think you need teaching, yes. I say you just need to be set back on the right path. You've still got it, just needs some practice. But if I can teach you anything, sure, I'm totally down." 

Mark watched the eagerness in Donghyuck's eyes and felt a sudden burst of desire to ensure it would remain there. If it required taking up something he had forsaken for years, then so be it. 

"Alright. Let's do it." 

"Really?!" Donghyuck exclaimed, then cleared his throat coolly and continued in a lower tone. "I mean, really?" 

Mark stifled a snicker at the reaction, but Donghyuck saw and turned a few shades redder. 

"Squealing, blushing... Do you want to spend more time with me that much? What will people think, Hyuck?" Mark teased, not only because he'd genuinely found Donghyuck adorable, but also because he was glad to leave the matter of the guitar in the past for a moment. 

With one prompt move, the guitar disappeared from Mark's hold, and next he knew Donghyuck had pushed him down on the sofa and was leaning over him, hands hovering threateningly above his waist. Throwing him a look distinctively similar to a fox eyeing its prey, he grinned a Cheshire cat smile. 

"What if I were to tickle you?" he said. 

Mark grabbed his hands and tried to fake nonchalance. "What if I were to kick you off?" 

"But would you? You, oh so gallant Mark Lee?" 

Mark made a face of contempt at the title, but the momentary hesitation offered Donghyuck the chance to escape his grasp and start tickling him. 

"Donghyuck!" he yelped through his squirming. "I _will_ push you, stop!" 

"Pff, I'd love to see you-" 

Mark didn't just try - with a shove, Donghyuck stumbled backwards, laughing as he went, as well as grabbing tight onto Mark and pulling him right along. They ended up on the floor, half of Mark sprawled over the younger, in a ridiculous fit of laughter. 

"Dork... what if I'd gotten hurt?" Donghyuck said, blinking as if pretending to stop tears. 

"Did you?" Mark said, hoping to match the younger's detached sarcasm, but a note of concern rang in his voice. Donghyuck stopped his play acting to look up at Mark, expression torn between practised aloofness and affection. 

"Here I am, hoping to crack some jokes, and you're all soft. It's unfair, Mark. How am I supposed to continue any act with you around?" 

Mark shrugged. "I think you can manage. Your acting could win you an Oscar. Though... Ten might win it instead." 

Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at him, then looked away in woe. "You wound me. I'd be nominated for lead role, he'd be supporting. Wasn't that how it went down for your birthday too?" 

"Technically, you didn't really act back then. You just up and disappeared for a whole day." 

"Honestly, Mark," Donghyuck sighed, but he was smiling, "I liked you better when you didn't tease me." 

"Did you?" Mark asked. Yet again it sounded too serious, incongruous. He kept doing this, ruining the mood by letting words slip him without consideration. 

Donghyuck paused, eyes still fixed on Mark, the distance between them much more obvious in the silence. It wasn't a strange occurrence for them to occasionally cuddle now, so the proximity wasn't new, but it felt different after the question. Mark almost scrambled away, and it seemed Donghyuck nearly did too, but doing so would have merely made it more embarrassing, so neither moved. 

"No. I didn't. I like you just the way you are. Teasing or no teasing," Donghyuck said, voice small, just short of vulnerable. 

Mark floundered, glancing away. He hated how his heart rate picked up at the simplest of statements, the slightest possibility of something more. Out of the corner of his eye, the white and yellow of Donghyuck's bracelet shimmered. Of course Donghyuck hadn't been referring to what he might've hoped. 

"Oh, uh," Mark said, eyes flickering back to Donghyuck. He ignored the tightness in his stomach. "That's great to know." 

Donghyuck easily regained a smile, though it felt more distant than any of the ones he'd given him in a while. 

"Ouch," he said. "You'd have played an outstanding Han Solo, you know that?" 

"What, me...? Why? No." 

The guy from Star Wars? From what Mark could vaguely recall of him, he was dynamic and charming, both qualities that he couldn't envisage in himself. Moreover, he was a terrible actor. It was a miracle he hadn't accidentally told Donghyuck upfront how he felt at some point during the previous two months. 

"It's just- I mean, he had this... There's this scene where he tells this girl 'I know' after she- Ugh, never mind. You just reminded me of it." 

Donghyuck shook his head and poked Mark for him to get up. Unwillingly, as well as with great relief, Mark put some distance between them and took a refreshing inhale. 

"Anyway, before you started teasing me, we were having an important conversation. We're actually doing this, yes?" Donghyuck said. 

"I told you so, didn't I?" 

Donghyuck held out his pinkie, expression self-explanatory. Feeling fond, Mark completed the pinkie promise, which resulted in more self satisfied remarks on Donghyuck's part. This dork. 

Since he'd made such a promise, there was no way of going back. 

Donghyuck never tried to push him to do more than he was willing, but every other day he'd lean in close, as if relaying a huge secret, and asked him if he was 'up for practice later'. Of course, it wasn't a secret - Donghyuck might have been more skilled at subterfuge than the average person, but not even he could sneak in two guitars in plain daylight, nor could he stop the sound from travelling through the walls. It might have been safer to just play over at Donghyuck's place, but the younger had been adamant: they'd play in Mark's room. 

"For familiarity. A safe space, you know," he'd explained. 

Besides, wherever they were to play, the rest were bound to find out somehow. Word travelled quickly between the two shops, especially because of Ten and Johnny's apparent... newly dating situation, or whatever it was. They were still bluffing every time someone inquired about their relationship, pretending there wasn't much of one to speak of. In private, Ten had told Mark he simply wished to take things slow, which Mark couldn't argue with. He knew that for all of Ten's sheer magnetism, the people and relationships in his life mattered greatly to him. Plus, deep down, he was quite the romantic. Alas, the others had forged friendships too, TENder Blooms and Funky Pluckers now being on very good terms.

Unexpectedly, Donghyuck was very serious about the lessons. He'd put on this sagacious air, of undertaking an important task, and explain everything calmly and methodically. Mark let him, though he remembered most of the theory. He was quite the professor, one of the best Mark had had: demonstrating first on his own guitar, gingerly guiding Mark's hands to the chords, not once losing his patience, cracking a joke every so often to lighten the atmosphere. It was obvious he took great joy in doing this. Mark didn't even think it had anything to do with him - teaching just seemed to come naturally to Donghyuck. 

As the months passed (evening lessons, sometimes letting the others stick around to listen to a song or two, accompanying Donghyuck to his gigs to 'observe the technique') Mark regained his lost ability. Though a turn of events he couldn't have predicted, it was one he was grateful for. It was likely the combined effect of both realising that he was still good at playing and could steadily improve, as well as Donghyuck's unwavering support and encouragements. 

In a way, he also found he simply... wanted to play with him. Perhaps just to witness how ecstatic it made Donghyuck to have someone to practise with. 

"Finding a new passion is one of the happiest things," Taeyong had told him after a mini performance, beaming almost dreamily. 

A passion... flowers were his passion. Was playing now another one? 

When he played with Donghyuck, and a song came into being by their strums blending or complementing one another, and Donghyuck looked so concentrated yet so absolutely free, carried far away by the notes and the lyrics and the feelings behind them, and Mark was no longer perturbed by mistakes or past embarrassments, he truly did feel an immeasurable love for playing. 

Playing had been wonderful in itself, all those years before. With Donghyuck, it wasn't necessarily better, but it was unique. There was another layer to the process. Mark genuinely loved it. 

Hm. A passion indeed. 

"Mark," Donghyuck said, drawing out his name in the whiny way he'd gotten used to. 

"Hm?" 

"You trust me, right?" 

Mark had thought the answer was obvious. 

"Do you even have to ask?" 

Donghyuck smiled softly. "Even if I were to ask you something that might seem a bit mad at first?" 

"Isn't that how stuff usually goes down anyway?" 

The younger grabbed Mark's hands, as if to assure himself he wouldn't slip away, and gave him a pointed, grave look. 

"This is a bit crazier than usual. I can already imagine how you'll react. But you'll listen, yeah? Trust me?" 

"Are we in a play, Hyuck? What's with all these dramatic questions?" 

"Funny you should mention plays. It's not a play per se, but, well, it does involve a stage. And... a guitar. Or two, actually. Two guitars and a stage. And us." 

Mark analysed his expression to gauge whether Donghyuck was joking or not. He looked sheepish, lips pressed together in embarrassment, but underlining that was determination, a plan he'd likely been brewing for a while. 

At Mark's sigh, Donghyuck continued, tightening his grip on his hands, "Hear me out! We've been practising together for like, four months now, and you've been so consistent, improved so much. It's amazing how naturally it all comes to you. And you love it, don't you? I can see you do. So then why don't we get rid of all your frustration with guitars and the fear and everything else once and for all?" 

Another sigh. 

"...And what's the grand plan? To play for the guys again, only make it grander?" 

Donghyuck eyed him cautiously. "I was thinking an actual stage. One of my gigs, one of these days, eventually. Whenever you want!" He continued quickly, rushing through the information and giving Mark no opportunity to refuse. "We can do just one song if you want. Of course we'll practice ahead of time and I'll talk to the owners of the pubs I usually go to as soon as you're ready. There's no hurry. We'll do it at your own pace." 

It was a mad idea, no doubt about it. A Donghyuck-like idea, so that much was no surprise. 

Mark didn't particularly wish to play even in front of a restricted, small crowd. He'd let the guys listen sometimes, but that wasn't the same as actually performing. And a crowd of strangers? One that would notice his mistakes and not stay quiet, but react badly? Whether or not he cared for Donghyuck, there were other things to take into consideration. 

"But where did you get the idea? Why do you want to do this?" he asked, hushed. 

" _Because_ ," Donghyuck started, voice warm. "You're amazing and you shouldn't feel like you're not, or like you need to prove yourself to anyone, or play to anyone's liking. You'll get on that stage and prove to yourself that you've got this." 

Embarrassed, Mark bit his lip and looked away. 

Maybe Donghyuck was right. Playing with him in his own room was all fun and games, but maybe he needed to just get on a stage again and see where that took him. Maybe he needed to remind himself that he was capable of doing something simply because he'd set his mind to it - even if it was overcoming a long-standing stage fright. 

Although it was harder saying that out loud without feeling silly. 

He didn't have to, though. Given his mysteriously good understanding of people, Donghyuck caught on to his concession and clapped his hands together. Then he poked both of Mark's cheeks simultaneously, eyes glistening, grin broad and hopeful. 

"Yes! It'll be amazing, I know it will. You'll rock it." 

For the sake of his sanity, Mark really hoped he would. 

A few days later, hand encircling Mark's wrist, Donghyuck dragged him towards Funky Pluckers. Mark could walk, and he could follow behind if needed, but it was endearing to have the younger tow him instead. 

They briefly bid hello to Xuxi (whose real name Mark had long since learnt was Yukhei) and Taeil, the affable, soft-hearted new employee, and then shuffled up the stairs and bumped into Johnny. 

"Woah, Hyuck. Slow and steady'll do the job," he said. "Good to see you, Mark." 

Mark returned his friendly smile. "You too. We were-" 

"We're getting Mark ready for the most important night of his life," Donghyuck dramatically revealed. "Don't come in without knocking!" 

"What?" Johnny asked, perplexed. He had ample reason to be, what with Donghyuck's phrasing and his canny smile. 

"You'll see. Just remember to knock." He opened the door to his right and pushed Mark inside, followed, closed the door, then reopened it to pose a most important question. "Which is better, my pastel pink shirt or that amber Oxford one?" 

Johnny didn't hesitate, even though he received no further explanations. "The pink one is one of your best. I like the grey one you wore a few nights ago too." 

"Hm... But what about-" 

Mark shifted his attention from the conversation to the room he was in: cosy, comfortable, boasting a blend of warm, tonal shades. There were splashes of dark colours here and there, mostly in the shape of Donghyuck's clothes, but overall it felt subdued - Donghyuck's space to unwind, to read, to jot down lyrics. 

Like the previous times Mark had visited, the bed was in utter disarray, but the rest of the room was quite orderly. His old guitar sat propped on the bed frame, with its adorable little inscriptions on it, either written with a marker or carved with a knife. The shelves above the bed held dozens of books, not necessarily organised - they always reminded Mark of the stereotypical writer studio he'd see in movies. 

A writing desk was laden with different restaurant fliers and business cards, an open notebook revealing the previous night's dream (at the top of the page, in thick red letters was written "February 7th: Flying to Canada") and three framed photos of him and his sisters. One was new, as he was standing with Sehyun in front of her dorms, holding her in a sort of headlock, both laughing. On the wall, a Michael Jackson poster, old and a bit creased, but more photos of other musicians sprinkled the walls all throughout the room. 

"Okay, so I think I know what we should go for, but let's have a look together. C'mere," Donghyuck said, giving Mark a more patient smile now that he'd entered his intimate space. He approached the clothes rack where his clothes hung in full view, also acting as a room divider. They'd decided to get the small details (as in clothes and songs) sorted out, so afterwards they could focus solely on prasticing.

"First up!" Donghyuck lifted a hanger with a beautiful shirt, the pink one he'd mentioned to Johnny. 

Beautiful, but... well. 

"That's definitely not my style," Mark said, looking at it sceptically. 

"Don't be intimidated by the embroideries, Mark. I bet it'd look stunning on you. There's also this one!" He presented Mark a short-sleeved one, with abstract shapes in different shades of green, and grabbed a pair of emerald trainers from under the rack. "Hm?" 

"It... could work. It looks cool," Mark conceded with a nod. 

"Agreed!" 

He found a couple more, each with vastly different patterns. Then, he pushed the desk chair upon which he'd stacked them towards Mark, motioning for him to begin. 

"Here?" Mark said, in what might've been a squeal had his voice not cracked. "I can go to the ba-" 

"You're embarrassed? We're both guys, and it's just me, Mark," Donghyuck said as he crossed his arms and shook his head in disbelief. _Yes, and you're the last person I can undress in front of without losing my composure_ , Mark thought, making a conscious effort not to let his face contort in panic. 

Just as he was trying to come up with a credible excuse, Donghyuck chuckled. "Fineee, I'll turn around and watch something on my phone. You're safe, no worries." 

Seeing as it would have been absurd to argue with that, Mark went about trying some clothes on, and blissfully managed not to glance at the younger with every move. Somehow, this was setting him on edge even more than the thought of singing on stage. Again, he was helpless and doomed. The truth of it kept resurfacing. 

Once the first shirt was on, he glanced into the mirror. It was of true high quality, the satin caressing his skin. The rose pink somehow blended with as well as softened the colour of his skin, while the white embroideries across it gave the attire a timeless aura. Though not the sort of thing he was accustomed to wearing, he couldn't deny how elegant it made him feel. 

"I wouldn't say it's the one, but..." he said, as he revealed the fit to Donghyuck, who turned around to face him. 

Donghyuck stopped dead in his tracks and stared, lips ever so parted. His eyes briefly paused on the deep V-neck, which, paired with the delicate lace, drew one's attention involuntarily. Mark felt his own mouth become dry. He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to subtly cover some of the neckline with his arm in the process. Why... why was Donghyuck looking at him like that? 

"Quite a look, isn't it?" Donghyuck said, a spinx-like smile reappearing on his face, though there was an imperceptible tremble to his voice. 

"Uh... yes. Yeah. A look," Mark began, likely looking as flustered as he sounded. "I wouldn't have guessed it was yours. It doesn't seem like your sort of thing? Like, pinkish and this tight-fitting?" Donghyuck arched an eyebrow. "Or, well, maybe. It's... elegant. Modern, but also vintage, classy? Totally singer-like vibe." 

The younger laughed, patting his arm. "Just not your style, got it. No need for this explosion of words. Besides, I- Uh, _we_ want people to focus on your talent rather than... all this." He gestured to Mark's upper body, and the lightest flush surged to his cheeks. He was clearly struggling with where to move his eyes. 

Mark chose to ignore his breathlessness and cleared his throat. "I'll try the others on, then?" 

"Mhm. Go for it." 

Small mercies. Thank God for that. 

The younger's picks had been inspired, and they were all striking in their own way, yet none felt... right. They retained Donghyuck's eccentricity and Mark gained confidence wearing them, except they lacked something of Mark's spirit. 

Donghyuck agreed, but then produced a hidden gem. 

It was a stunning white short-sleeved shirt. A few sporadic branches of royal blue blooms were splatted over it, varying in size and stretching in random directions. On them dwelled small birds. Near the chest area, the biggest flower bloomed a lighter shade of teal. Despite the complex details of the design, they were in perfect balance with the immaculate white background and only made up about a third of the shirt. The more important central branches, possessing the teal bloom, seemed to stem from the bottom-down collar, while some others settled smartly on the shoulders. 

"Saved the best for last. Try it on," Donghyuck said, grin smug when he noticed Mark's awe. 

That awe only grew as Mark studied himself in the mirror and noted the perfect fit, the intense blue and black, the flawless concept. He was fairly sure it wasn't just the best shirt Donghyuck had picked that day - it had to be one of the most gorgeous pieces of clothing Mark had ever laid eyes on. 

"Give me a moment," Donghyuck instructed, as he grabbed a black belt from a nearby drawer and made Mark put it on and tuck the shirt in. He then personally unbuttoned another button, for added stylishness, and pushed a pair of faux leather boots by Mark's feet to ensure the end look was perfect. "The shirt's the main piece here, but we can't disregard the rest. What do you think?" 

"It _is_ the best," Mark said, barely suppressing a smile. "Unreal. The colours, the design... I love it. Can I-" Wear this one, he almost said, then stopped, abashed. 

"You can, and you should. You're bound to leave a lasting impression. Add in your bashfulness and talent... I say you'll be the star of the night," Donghyuck said. Having finished his job, he flopped down on the bed and regarded Mark fondly. "D'you know what's funny? I bought this a while back, but I've never worn it. It seems it was waiting for its rightful owner." He waved a silencing hand before Mark could speak, "It's yours and that's final." 

Mark wouldn't have minded popping by and borrowing it from time to time either. That way, it would retain the smell of citrus and lily of the valley, which had permeated it during its time amongst Donghyuck's clothes. 

Regardless, he nodded, feeling the usual warmth buoying in his chest. "Thank you, Hyuck." 

"Anytime, Markles." 

They just smiled at each other, for a moment or two longer than they had reason to. Once Mark had changed back into his own clothes, they both squeezed together on the bed. Donghyuck pulled out his phone and started scrolling through various Spotify playlists, hoping to find something to sing. They'd do three songs - Mark had agreed to this too, after Donghyuck had suggested it in jest. What was one more thing at that point? 

It was then that Donghyuck gave a chortle, and he shook his head as one does when seeing something they find funny, yet simultaneously outrageous. 

"What's got you giggling?" asked Mark. 

"It's Haeun, she's such a goof," Donghyuck said, staring at his phone with such fondness you'd have thought Haeun was there in person, saying preposterous things. "She sent me all these twenty messages, and obviously I didn't reply, since I was busy," which translated to 'with you', as he very rarely used his phone when he was in the company of others, "and just now she goes 'you're with Mark again, bet'. Ridiculous." 

He laughed this time, a short cough of amusement, then shoved the phone in Mark's hands for him to see said text, as well as the ones that predated it. 

**little one 🥝** : hyuck hyuck hyuck 

**little one 🥝** : i found a cute pup today do u wanna see 

**little one 🥝** : [7 attachments] 

**little one 🥝** : he's like super tiny and he loves when i pat his tummy and he didnt eat bacon but he likes chicken lots, i think i'll name him peanut 

**little one 🥝** : i took him in without mum and dad seeing, ill keep him for now until i figure out how to get them to let him stay 

**little one 🥝** : hyuckkkkk 

**little one 🥝** : :(( 

**little one 🥝** : u never reply :( 

**little one 🥝** : ure with mark again, bet 

"It wasn't that hard to guess," Mark said, smiling in endearment, "She knows by now that we're kinda always together." 

"Yup, exactly. I think she's gotten a bit jealous of you," Donghyuck said. 

"Haeun? Of me? When she's the coolest fourteen year old in the world?" Mark said, playfully. 

"Fifteen by the end of the month! And rest assured I'll let her know what you said, even if she'll never stop gloating about it, but you know how she gets. Plus, she told me you and I are 'two peas in a pod' now. Literally used that expression." 

"How eloquent of her," Mark joked. He remembered one of the many occasions he participated in one of the siblings' video calls, when Donghyuck had announced they'd be practising guitar together: how animated Haeun had been as she cheered Mark on, but also how at the last minute she pouted, sullen, and crabbed about the fact that Mark would have Donghyuck to himself more than she did. 

"Mhm. But that's why you should text her back and say that she's right," Donghyuck proposed, with puckish delight at having come up with the idea, while Mark looked threw him a look Donghyuck liked to call 'that look when you're needlessly surprised with something I said and it's like you're holding back a sigh'. "Go on, I'm entrusting you my phone and this pivotal mission." 

Mark rolled his eyes, but typed a reply for the girl. 

**You** : Bet won, Hyuck's right next to me. 

"Won't she just think you're trying to pull her leg though?" he asked, after pressing send and having Donghyuck grab his hand and high fiving him. 

"Mark, you used caps at the start of the sentence, you know I never use up my energy to do that unless it's like, work stuff. And it rarely is, I usually get calls. I'm pretty sure she's sold." 

And they patiently waited for a reply, which popped up a minute later. 

**little one 🥝** : hi mark~!! ｡ﾟ( ﾟ^∀^ﾟ)ﾟ｡ 

**little one 🥝** : tell hyuck to pick up when i call later or i won't talk to him for a week ok 

**little one 🥝** : have fun thoooo! ^°^ 

Mark turned the phone towards the younger, trying and failing to hold back his smile at the change of tone in the messages. "That sound jealous to you?" 

"Classic Haeun," Donghyuck scoffed. "It's because she likes you too much, dork. As she should." 

"As she should...?" Mark asked, frowning. 

Donghyuck scrunched his nose at him, like he found his question comical. 

"You still haven't realised how amazing you are, have you? Of course she likes you. I've yet to find someone who doesn't, honestly," he said nonchalantly, as one would point out a pleasant change of weather. 

It was fascinating how often Donghyuck talked about this 'like' around him, and how Mark succumbed further into hopelessness rather than hope when he so did. 

Opting to just avoid the subject altogether, for the sake of his remaining dignity, Mark returned his eyes to the phone, rereading the messages idly. 

"I have to say, the kiwifruit in her name is peak comedy," said Mark sagely after a short silence, as if that was the matter they were discussing. Donghyuck flicked him on the back of the head affectionately. He was the easiest person to change the subject with - he would immediately go along with it, no questions asked. 

"It's an old joke, dork. And anyway, it looks cute. Sehyun's a lemon, I'm... Actually, I can't remember what I am." 

"A strawberry?" Mark suggested. 

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Why a strawberry?" 

"Because you're sweet..?" 

"Oh my God, Mark, no," Donghyuck whined, dropping his head on Mark's shoulder (or rather on a spot closer to his chest), as if the older's humour was too hard to cope with, and he preferred submitting to second hand embarrassment. Mark couldn't say he minded; he might attempt cheesy lines again, if it resulted in this. 

"Don't be dramatic, Hyuck," he said instead. "But yikes, now I dread to think what you set _my_ contact name to." 

It seemed Donghyuck dreaded it just as much, as he poked Mark in the ribs and, while Mark flinched away from the stab, seized the phone. 

"Don't tell me it's that bad?" 

"Sure Mark, it's terrifying," Donghyuck deadpanned. "What did you set mine as then, if we're to be exchanging information?" 

Mark fell silent and tried to correct the uneasy grimace that had overcome his features into an inscrutable smile, though it was unclear if (or unlikely that) he ever succeeded in his attempt. In any event, he had no plans of admitting that, after extensive consideration, he'd chosen a sun emoji, no text, for Donghyuck's contact name, much less that he ended up smiling every time he saw it. He could live without knowing what it was that Donghyuck was apparently embarrassed about, if it meant his own dignity would remain intact. 

"Don't tell me it's _that_ bad?" Donghyuck mocked in an eerily good impersonation of Mark. 

"I'll change it to Pooh Bear if you keep being ridiculous," Mark warned. 

"Ouch, going straight for my weakness, I see how it is." 

He pretended to be struck with a stake, his head once more falling on Mark's shoulder, only this time he managed to look up at him too, fuzzy grin spreading wide across his face. Mark had to purposefully keep his line of sight on Donghyuck's eyes, but it was hard when they did this strange thing where they softened and flickered with something Mark couldn't quite place. Something that didn't fully fit the playful mood, or the bright grin, or worse yet, even the limits of what a friend's gaze should conform to. 

It would cause Mark more recondite, headachey rumination at night, before sleep, if he allowed himself to keep staring at that flicker of... of whatever it was, and have it imprint itself in his memory, so he pushed the younger away. It proved harder than expected, as Donghyuck let his body go limp and pushing him back to a sitting position required quite a bit of strength. The hardest part, however, was doing this when he wished Donghyuck could stay there for as long as possible. 

When he succeeded, Donghyuck threw him a satisfied look, said "Let's get back to work," and it was clear the moment, like all the moments before it, the ones when Mark felt a conflicting feeling there was something more between them, had passed by them, that Mark had again thought to preserve what they were, ignored again what they could have been. 

"But what genre? Vibe? What are we going for?" Donghyuck asked, and Mark had to acknowledge he didn't know either. "How about I'm Yours? It's the one you know best anyway, and you like it too." 

"Yeah, but... if we're doing this, shouldn't it at least be a challenge? And anyway, I'm Yours... it just feels so cliché." 

"Right... How about we go for an actual duet then? Like!" A few taps later, he was playing Elton John and Kiki Dee's Don't Go Breaking My Heart. "When he's like 'don't go breaking my heart' and she goes 'I couldn't if I tried'... Iconic, Mark, iconic." 

Too iconic, Mark thought. Romantic as well, for that matter. The last thing he wished to sing was a love song. 

A light shake of the head was all it took for Donghyuck to understand. They began looking for other potential songs, soon discovering that finding a duet that worked for them both, was suitable for a gig, and wasn't at least partially love related was no easy feat. 

They'd exhausted most options, when inspiration struck Donghyuck. 

"There's this one song I found a few days ago that stuck with me. There's something about it that..." He cleared his throat. "Well. It's just special. Let's leave it at that." 

And he pressed play: Hardest Part by Laura Welsh and John Legend. 

Mark felt an attachment to the song right from the very few notes, which he couldn't explain until he puzzled out the meaning of the lyrics. 

It was a love song, yes, but it no longer felt cheesy or overly emotional or even entirely romantic. What it did, however, was hold an eerily personal description of Mark's feelings for Donghyuck, the ones he was so pointlessly trying to suppress. A few succinct verses contained the root of his dilemma, the reality he hated to admit. He might've written those very words if he'd known how to express himself through writing. His heart ached, so much that it felt like his rib cage was pressing hard against it, squeezing all the life out it, stopping the flow of blood through his arteries. 

Oh, Donghyuck, for you to be the one who plays this song so innocently, so cluelessly. 

For the next three minutes, all Mark could focus on was the song, as though falling into a trance, as though the song was relating a terrifying portion of his life. If he'd been paying attention, perhaps he'd have been surprised to notice Donghyuck was watching his reaction, a forlorn glimmer in his eyes, hand itching closer for just a second, almost reaching out to him, before silently, pathetically flopping down on the bed, like he'd thought better of it.

"What do you think?" Donghyuck quietly said when it ended, once Mark wished nothing more than to melt into a puddle and evaporate. How was he to look at Donghyuck now? How did he ever look at him, knowing he felt the way he did, knowing that Donghyuck would likely feel pressured and awkward if he found out? 

"I loved it," he said in spite of himself, in spite of knowing how stupid he was being, "I think we should play it. It's not that well-known, so it might be a bit more unique for the audience. It's sweet and warm and it has a distinct sound, let's." 

\- Is what he said, yet his actual reasoning for picking it was another entirely. If he was honest... there might never be another chance for him to say those things to Donghyuck without him actually knowing. 

"And just minutes ago you were so against love songs," Donghyuck said, a bit hollow. He avoided his eyes for a second. "But okay. We'll just have to change the key a bit, I don't know if you can go that high." 

That didn't bear much importance for Mark, unsettled as he was, so he let Donghyuck fuss over the technical details. The younger declared he'd already mostly figured out how to play the song on guitar, admitting to 'something about it' having been cemented in his brain for the past few days. Mark was listening, but his mind was also far, far away. 

Eventually, they agreed on the other two songs too, and decided that based on the type of song it was compared to the others, Hardest Part would be the last one. It was a welcome order for Mark too, as maybe, just maybe, if no problems were to intervene, he'd feel more comfortable after the initial scare, and would be able to focus wholly on the song. 

Other details were discussed - how often they'd try to practice starting the next day, around what time the gig would be, how Mark had absolutely no reason to fret. 

It might've been half an hour later, when Donghyuck discovered things weren't going anywhere. Mark was tired - TENder Blooms had had to supply far too many weddings that week, and, because he'd been adamant about not skipping any of their practice sessions, he'd not gotten the amount of sleep he'd needed. To say nothing of how the song had rattled him. 

Donghyuck moved to his bergère, a chair that looked so out of place in his room, which Mark assumed he'd gotten at a flea market or found in a charity shop, took his guitar and smiled. 

"Markles, you'll fall asleep if I keep talking. Lie back, I'll play something for you." 

"I don't-" 

"If you don't want to sleep, just close your eyes and relax a bit." Donghyuck's smile softened, a little amused disapproval Mark had learnt he exclusively reserved for him. "C'mon, you'll overwork yourself to exhaustion one of these days. I won't let you leave this room until you take a fifteen minute nap at least." 

"That's called kidnapping, Hyuck," Mark complained weakly. He was aware he did need a nap, and that he was bound to inadvertently fall asleep while in the middle of something if he didn't take action sooner rather than later. 

"Nope. You walked into this room willingly. It's false imprisonment, if you're out to make me a criminal. But enough of this," he said, looking at Mark with severity, "It's a well needed kip. Close your eyes and hush." 

Mark did as told. He was asked if he had any requests, but he didn't answer. For a while, Donghyuck just strummed a nameless melody, like the caress of the ocean breeze, and Mark relaxed with every note. 

Just as he came to the brink of sleep, Mark mumbled without actually making a conscious decision to, "Play your favourite song." 

The music stopped for a heartbeat, two, as if Donghyuck was contemplating what to choose. Yet silence was no less relaxing than sound, and it only plunged Mark deeper into sleep. As he drifted more and more, slowly losing awareness, as if shepherded by Donghyuck's fragile, sentimental yet perfectly controlled voice, Mark imagined himself actually lying in his arms, the melody tickling his ear and neck, Donghyuck stroking his hair with one hand and holding one of Mark's in the other. Then dream-Donghyuck laid an innocent, ephemeral kiss to his temple, wishing him 'sweet dreams', and the tender moment rapidly turned into a chance of self-reproach. Donghyuck deserved better than Mark's asinine behaviour. 

The last thing he heard was the chords of a song so very similar to Hardest Part - though naturally it couldn't have been that one, as Donghyuck had no reason to choose it, did he? - a sad, lonesome ballad, stirring something inside Mark too. 

"But I do.... I need you," trailed in his dream, but the voice was neither of the original singers'. 

It was Donghyuck's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just... how whipped is mark... poor soul. also, when I wrote the 'mark's an idiot, but an endearing idiot' in the tags I was referring to how he was acting in the beginning, but I'm starting to think it's yet again valid ㅠ.ㅠ all things considered though, he's honestly dealing pretty well, I'm quite proud of my boy


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see! how are you all? hopefully well, healthy and smiling <3 
> 
> life's been a whirlwind recently - among various others, I also had some super important exams (which I aced wOHOO), so as much as I always wanted to write I barely had the time to :(( but here I am, back to these two dorks <3

It turned out that when Donghyuck had told Mark ‘anytime’ after he’d gifted him the shirt, he’d meant it quite literally. 

Spring had already begun sending its heralds across the city when the big moment arrived - clumps of hyacinth and snowdrops emerging from the lush grass, laden with rainwater from a noon shower, swallows darting overhead, ladybirds perching anywhere they saw fit. It was a sunny and pleasant late afternoon in March, which the earlier rain had seemed only to further vivify.

If nothing else, it had been a stroke of luck, deciding on this particular day half a month ago. As he made his way towards the pub, Mark discarded his earbuds and let the buzz of the bees and the chirping of birds hoist him up and waft him elsewhere, far from his nervousness, to a reality where the tranquility of nature replaced the image of an audience. It helped, and his nerves receded for a while.

When he reached his destination, he was met by Donghyuck waiting for him in a private room of the pub, which the owners had let them use before their short performance. His wavy hair in an elegant but tousled state, eye shadow a soft shade, he was wearing only a black short-sleeved shirt, in a larger fit, the front tucked into a pair of ripped jeans. He even had a pair of aviator sunglasses with bronze-coral lenses, which added class to the outfit. 

He stood out because he was Donghyuck, who could do so even in the most ridiculous, worst matched outfit, but he’d obviously chosen a more subdued look than usual. Mark had to ignore the thought that he’d done it especially for him to be the one in the limelight when on stage. 

The younger greeted him with a sheepish smile, carrying a guitar case. 

Ironic though it was, Mark still didn’t own a guitar. Donghyuck had two, that old one of his, and a cleaner, more presentable one for most his gigs. When they played together, they used those. Mark hadn’t thought of buying one. Moreover, he’d never needed to play on his own; he already practised with Donghyuck for a big chunk of his spare time. It wasn’t a problem he’d been too eager to fix, even if it might’ve come across as a bit inconsiderate. 

But apparently, this mattered to Donghyuck. 

Delicately, he set the guitar case on the table. 

“See, I was thinking you don’t have a guitar. You’re performing in less than an hour. So I... well, I may have taken the liberty of choosing one for you myself.” 

It was a gorgeous model, a Seagull S6 in a beautiful shade of wine red, which Mark hadn’t seen before - it had to be some sort of special edition. He glanced between it and Donghyuck, unsure what he was more overwhelmed by. 

“Honestly, you always get this silly look when you receive something, what am I supposed to say now…” Donghyuck mumbled. He wore such an abashed, endearing expression that it set Mark’s heart ablaze.

“It’s because I wasn’t expecting it,” he said, looking at the younger with the fondness he could never repress around him. Suddenly, he realised the implications of the gift. “This must’ve cost a fortune, are you insane? As if I’m letting you give me this-” 

“It’s awfully rude to reject a gift, Mark,” Donghyuck said, eyebrows raised in provocation. 

“But... First the shirt,” which he glanced down at a little guiltily, “Now this?” 

Donghyuck sighed. He rested against the table, nearly lolling atop it. “I got you back into this whole playing guitar business. It’s only right I should try to make you enjoy it. Besides, you can’t very well play mine forever, right? Not that I’d mind, but still. You’ve earned your own.” He waved offhandedly. “Just take it and use it well.”

Well, that had put an end to the debate. Convincing Donghyuck once he’d made up his mind was a nearly impossible feat. Mark would know (literally, given how often he’d been on the losing side of arguments because of this - his rigidity had never suffered more than after meeting Donghyuck).

Instead, his let his gaze drop, only for it to land on a small carving on the upper side of the guitar, depicting two adjoined daisies. One was made out to be smiling, boasting a bubbly expression Mark found he inadvertently attributed to Donghyuck. The other was wearing a pair of glasses, not unlike the prescription ones Mark often wore himself, and had a tiny frown hiding behind them. Underneath the daisies, in a beautiful cursive script, was written ‘you can’. 

Goodness. This had to be the work of some deity which was toying with him, there was no other explanation. Did Donghyuck have to do the utmost every single time? 

Disarmed and unable to do much else, Mark sprung to meet Donghyuck in a hug, ignoring his breezy ‘your shirt, Mark’, just tucking him close and squeezing, more fervently than necessary. It was so nice to be held, just to be held, like Donghyuck was the sun and all of the stars and all their combined warmth, gazing down upon him, caressing his problems away, and Mark could just... 

For one fleeting moment, his lips parted enough to utter an ‘I-’, but fear overcame whatever impulse had taken him, and the words remained unspoken. 

“Silly, what’s up with you? You’re the biggest softie,” Donghyuck said, followed by a light laugh. Even so, he locked his hands around Mark’s waist, and his breath tickled his ear, so wretchedly close. “Or is this emotional blackmail? You know I love hugs and here you are, so quick to hug me once I give you something.”

Mark knew the younger was joking; they’d hugged countless times. There was nothing novel about it. But even with this knowledge, something itched inside him to correct Donghyuck, to let him know it wasn’t the case. That it could never be the case.

“That’s not true. Hugging you is just…” Right. Safe. The single most important embrace Mark could imagine. “Special,” he decided. “Really special.”

Donghyuck’s breath hitched, and he stiffened just barely in his arms. “Mark?”

“It’s true,” Mark reaffirmed, with gravity. “Thank you. I’m not…” He pulled away just enough to see Donghyuck’s eyes, that beautiful chocolate brown, so soulful and fairylike and _him_. “I’m not worried at all. About tonight, I mean. It’ll be great.” 

Donghyuck faltered like a leaf in the wind, but eventually found some composure somewhere in that sea of acceptable, unemotional reactions he’d perfected.

“Sure it will, Mark. With how much you’ve practised, you wouldn’t need to stress even if you weren’t this talen-” 

“That too, but no,” Mark interrupted. In a moment of true openness, he patted Donghyuck’s head. It was an intimate gesture, but Mark was too enraptured to notice. “The reason I’m not worried is because we’re doing this together.” 

Donghyuck’s face had really neared so much, their noses might have brushed had either of them moved the slightest bit. Mark’s eyes flickered downwards hastily. Not just their noses, but their lips were at a perfect distance to bridge.

Mark wanted to kiss him. He’d wanted to kiss him for months, with periods of various intensity, at times thinking he didn’t want to purely because he’d make a conscious effort to stop. But he’d wished to kiss him so much more recently, and the reasons he was holding back were so blurred he’d nearly forgotten them altogether, while the way Donghyuck was looking at him now, stunned and unusually fragile, almost broke his resolve. 

“You-- What’s gotten into you?” Donghyuck said, more of a whisper. His voice cracked on the very last word.

“Nothing, Hyuck. I just wanted you to know. You deserve to hear it.”

“I…” 

Whatever Donghyuck had intended to say never found the right resonance and he pressed his lips together. His eyes were torn, innocent, clueless. Aware he wouldn’t be able to control himself for much longer in the face of this proximity (and in the face of Donghyuck, because that sufficiently messed with his self-restraint), Mark pulled him back into a speedy hug, a mere squeeze, then broke apart from him. 

“Thank you. Really, Hyuck. Not only for the guitar,” he said, with the same solemnity. 

He watched as Donghyuck’s eyes flitted away, almost shy. But Donghyuck was never shy, was he?

“Sure, yeah, you’re welcome, I guess. I mean... I don’t guess, I know, but you know... _God_ ,” Donghyuck groaned, clasping a frustrated hand over his mouth, as if to restrict the tide of words. He then complained with his mouth still covered, “Your babbling is infectious.”

His cheeks were painted the beautiful shade of a pink Peruvian lily, so very graceful - a flower of mutual support, which they'd always shown each other. 

Only a Peruvian lily of this shade could also point to a close friendship turned into romance, and it ached that that's exactly what had happened to him.

“You’ll have noticed I didn’t babble this time.” 

“I _know_! It only makes this that much more embarrassing.” 

“You’re never embarrassing, Hyuck.” 

As he said it, he rested his hand atop Donghyuck’s upper arm. Donghyuck’s lips parted and he stared at him for a few long moments, something complicated but inscrutable in his expression - soft, yet somehow vulnerable, conflicted. It was difficult to interpret it, so Mark overlooked it. He simply gazed back at him. A feeling he’d been experiencing a lot recently, of twirling around about a dozen times and simultaneously balancing a bowl of water on his head, overwhelmed him again.

Donghyuck broke the moment by making wide, grandiose gestures with his arms, to express the end of his patience. Even they had a note of lingering awkwardness about them.

“God, okay, enough of this! I’ll start to think you’ve lost it or switched bodies with someone or something! Very much enough! Just accept the guitar and let’s get this over with.” Steadying himself, he managed a soft smile. “I made sure to tune it myself, twice. So don’t worry about that.”

 _I wasn’t_ , Mark could’ve said, but he’d been plenty sentimental to last the entire week. The year, even. Honestly, possibly the next decade. 

“Mhm. I’ll just have to hope destiny won’t do me badly this time,” he said.

Donghyuck scoffed, then broke into a sly grin. "Destiny doesn’t hold a candle to us two, Markles.”

p>That Mark could agree with, although likely not for the reason Donghyuck believed. 

Twenty minutes later, their turn to head to take the stage had come.

"And that was The Phoenix’s new song! But we’re not done with novelty this afternoon. Haechan’s back," A couple people cheered appreciatively, "But he’s brought someone along this time! How unheard of is that? Haechan, Mark, please come up!" 

Mark was rethinking a few things. Namely, deciding this was a good idea in the first place. He was also wondering why he’d chosen the pub he’d once made amends with Donghyuck in for the occasion - it was classy and extravagant and so _not_ Mark. More importantly, telling Donghyuck that he wasn’t worried. Because, well, yes, he _was_ safe with him, and he could take on anything alongside him, but he was on a _stage_. And Donghyuck wasn’t like, holding him, so he still had to tackle this himself. 

Donghyuck uttered something into the mic, his usual greeting, after which he turned towards Mark, beckoning him to do the same. He gave him such an encouraging, private smile that Mark yet again conceded that, fine, this was fine. Okay. He could do this. Donghyuck believed in him. It was _fine_.

“Hi there! My name's Mark. I’m Donghyuck’s…” Friend. Best friend. Both were true, there was nothing wrong with them. But calling himself that in front of an entire room of people? That would sting. “Partner. Uh, singing partner.” He made the dignified decision not to check Donghyuck’s reaction. “It’s been ages since I’ve done this sorta thing, so I don’t know if I’ll-”

Donghyuck cut in quickly. 

"Nonsense! You’ll love him. He’s almost better than me." He most certainly wasn’t. "But no more chitchat, we’ll get right to it."

The audience hummed in amusement. It was ridiculous how Donghyuck could probably say any mundane thing and everyone would continue to listen and react as if he was enthusing about the most extraordinary subject. Again, like every time Mark had seen him on stage (alas, from down below and not next to him), he felt Donghyuck had the art of singing, and the charm to go along with it, flowing through his veins. 

Before they actually began, Donghyuck caught Mark’s hand in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze, holding his gaze as if to say ‘You can do this.’ Glancing down at his new guitar, Mark found the same words, and that was enough. 

As flashes of an earlier failure appeared before his eyes, Mark was indeed afraid. Of the past repeating itself, of a newer, more painful present materialising. His brain was chanting ‘It has to be perfect it has to be perfect it has to-!’, but Donghyuck was right there, immutable and comforting and the literal definition of supportive, of complete faith and certainty and confidence in himself, but more so in _Mark_. 

Knowing this, Mark sedulously told himself that he could. 

And he did. 

His fingers moved of their own accord on the strings, telling their own story, a story he shared with Donghyuck for a few minutes. The audience joined in on the secret - where they could, they quietly sang along or mouthed the lyrics. With every upbeat note the two stroked into existence, voices blending beautifully together, complemented by those facing them, the energy in the room shifted, steadied, unified.

No one was booing, no one walked away. The chords were right, Mark wasn’t off pitch. In fact, part of him felt that, shivers aside, he’d never played those first two songs better than right then, under the pressure and the eyes of some couple dozen people, but that could have just been the adrenaline. Donghyuck’s smile seemed to prove it, though. 

By the last one, Hardest Part, Mark was almost fully relaxed, totally unconcerned. But he was now similarly fuelled by the genuine desire to sing the song for Donghyuck, to bare his heart in the only way he could without risking losing him. 

He started it, taking Laura Welsh’s part - not only because Donghyuck was more capable of executing John Legend’s, but also because he’d felt an even deeper connection to her lines. 

He braced himself, and his eyes bore into Donghyuck’s, his gaze purposeful but oh so soft when he started singing, as if the words were no longer frightening, but pleasant, a soothing lullaby, a hot bath that engulfed him from head to toe, and rather than drowning, he was floating. 

_The hardest part I know is giving up a little bit of my control_  
_I open my heart, just a little part, though my mind says no_  
_If you’re so close to me, why do you remain a mystery?…_

How often had he thought this? And it was true, because he didn’t, he couldn’t understand how Donghyuck had come into his life and shattered everything and then mended it back together, parts of the old and parts of the new woven together, intertwined like an intricate lattice. 

Far from a mystery, Donghyuck was someone Mark intrinsically understood. His feelings weren’t always accessible, he still dissimulated at times, he wasn’t the embodiment of simplicity. But this complexity, everything that made him Donghyuck, Mark had long accepted and learnt to appreciate.

_I can’t dwell on it, lately I’ve been going through hell on it_  
_I keep lying to myself, I don’t need nobody else_  
_But I do_  
_I need you_

His voice trembled the slightest bit with the meaning of that last line, like the flutter of a butterfly wing.

Even so, Mark had expected this to be scarier than it was. He’d envisaged the words getting stuck in his throat when he walked up on stage, or when remembering Donghyuck was sat next to him. But it was easy to say them, to admit everything, because it was ultimately not a confession - he was hiding behind a façade, he was pretending to look at him only for the sake of the song, was singing lyrics Donghyuck had no idea were meant for him. It was a lucky thing, but perhaps in another way it was ever more unlucky.

God, what would Donghyuck think if he knew Mark was keeping things from him, when Donghyuck himself no longer did? How would he react if he knew Mark was being so reckless, so impulsive? So... selfish.

But what would he think if he were to be honest? 

Donghyuck’s part began, his velvety and powerful voice resonating not just across the building, but in Mark’s heart as well, and now he _was_ drowning, because Donghyuck’s expression was so intense, yet so sad, so content all at once. 

_And it’s not hard to tell, you’ve already peered behind my veil_  
_I let you look inside, it’s too hard to hide_  
_Cause you know me well_  
_And baby, I’m confused..._

Mark’s heart pattered and accelerated and then suddenly felt like it stopped completely, just for the briefest moment. Donghyuck was... looking straight at him like that. Singing those lyrics. He focused on Mark alone, not stopping even for a glance at the audience. His lips formed the words with ease, as if gifting every word to Mark.

Mark blanked, his mind suddenly clear of anything save for a touch, a mere spark of hope.

When the time came to harmonise, he was a beat too slow, mind muddled by his rumination. Before he could come to his senses, Donghyuck had to sing the first part on his own. It couldn’t be a mistake, really, when Donghyuck continued in a near laugh, and his eyes crinkled mirthful and contented. 

It was effortless afterwards, as their harmonising always was - the rise and fall of the sea, the leaves in perfect harmony with the wind, the murmur of a creek and a forest coming together. No audience, not one that mattered, just them, singing, smiling. Just them two.

It all ended far too quickly. If Mark had initially been hesitant about three songs, he now wished they could play more. And if he could sing Donghyuck that last one again, when they were alone, when his intent was clear... how precious that would be.

Donghyuck was glowing with such pride that Mark had to look away and say their goodbyes into the mic instead, to an excited, beaming audience. Some shot him thumbs up, others nodded in appreciation or clapped, and a small girl even cheered "Amazing!" loudly. The atmosphere was an animated one, the kind Mark hadn’t felt for himself in the longest time.

So it had been alright. 

However, as he left the stage, he noticed a vase of daisies positioned in one of its corners. Given the fact that the stage was slightly slanted, it was a miracle it was still standing. Mark had been too nervous to notice it when he’d gotten up there, the only two things he’d been aware of being Donghyuck and all the eyes trained on him. Yet it was definitely there, closer to where he’d been sat.

For a moment that felt like an hour, the applause and even Donghyuck’s grip on his wrist all but faded, and the only thing Mark could think about was that vase.

“Mark! That was amazing! You were absolutely amazing!” Donghyuck shrieked once they’d retreated from prying eyes, hugging Mark so tightly he was lifted a few centimetres off the ground. He spun him around twice too, for good measure, but his legs wobbled under the weight. “You _rocked_ it, I can’t believe you went out there and blew everyone away in like, fifteen minutes!”

“So you did have some doubts, then?” Mark asked loftily.

“About your skills, potential and talent? Literally none. Does that make me any less proud? Nope!”

There was something so incandescent and joyful in his aura that Mark feared he’d start jumping up and down at any moment. He managed to suppress the desire, though all that excess energy had him rocking on his heels.

Mark had no clue what he was supposed to say besides ‘thank you’, which was too banal for the circumstances. Thankfully, Donghyuck didn’t wait for an answer.

“Do you realise what this means? You’re a rock star now, Markles!”

“Markles is possibly the last name a rock star would have, Hyuck.”

“Really? Funny, because you have it,” Donghyuck said peremptorily, narrowing his eyes at him as if to warm him against continuing down this path. “Never mind that! They all loved it so much!”

 _Did you?_ Mark wanted to ask, but there was a more urgent question plaguing his mind.

“Hyuck. Those daisies on the stage, did you...?”

As he worded his predicament out loud, the obviousness all but threw him off balance. Of course it had to have been Donghyuck.

Donghyuck was still fizzing with excitement, so he answered almost intuitively, “Oh, those? Yeah, I put them there earlier.” 

“Why?” Mark said, trying not to get ahead of himself. 

Mark’s seriousness and impatience were very out of place, yet Donghyuck, flexible as ever, expertly adjusted to them. 

“I hoped the stage would feel less foreign. The more familiarity, the more-” 

“I mean... why do you always think of ways to help me like that?” 

“Oh?” Donghyuck said, hesitated. Last spring, if Mark had asked something like that, he would’ve deflected the question - with another question, a witty remark, a confidently raised brow. Now, he held back this habit and allowed himself to speak frankly. “Well, that’s... obvious, isn’t it?” 

“It is?” 

“Mark. You know I care about you. A... lot.” He sighed, then his lips regained an upward quirk. His eyes did this thing that they seemed to keep doing: soften. Soften in such a way that they appeared to be fondling Mark. “I just want you to be happy. I really do.” 

He said happy delicately, like it was the single most priceless thing he could hope for him. Mark recalled him saying the same thing about his sisters, many months ago - “I want them to be happy. I’ve always wanted that” - and the gentility from back then resounded ever more potently. It was similar, yet there was an edge to it that propelled Mark forward. He grabbed Donghyuck’s hand, took a step closer, then another.

He had to tell him. Donghyuck, and his small gestures of affection, his gentle encouragements, his vulnerable words. The way he’d watched Mark up on stage, like the song was a personal declaration. What if, and couldn’t there be a chance, he’d done the same thing Mark had? And now here he was, wide-eyed but smiling, telling Mark he only wished for his happiness. 

When Ten was sending Johnny silly gifts instead of talking to him, he’d judged his trepidation. Now he was doing the same thing, and why? When Donghyuck was Donghyuck, his closest friend, his one truest ally, the one who understood him best. Even if there was nothing more to be had... he had no reason to be afraid, did he? 

“Hyuck-” Mark said, but had to clear his now very dry throat. Donghyuck’s expression was open, eager, as if awaiting something.

“Yeah?” 

“Hyuck, I-”

“Haechan, young lad!” 

Shaken, their eyes shot to the short middle aged man who’d just walked in, clapping Donghyuck on the shoulder as he approached. 

Their locked hands dropped back to to their sides and Mark felt his own heart plummet alongside them. 

“Mr Watts, I told you, Donghyuck’s fine,” the younger said, lips curling into a charming smile. Mark envied his composure more than anything - but maybe, unlike Mark, he had no reason not to be composed. 

“Yes yes, but it’s Haechan who steals all our clients’ hearts! My wife’s too, ha! She’s your biggest fan,” Mr Watts said and guffawed. 

“Well, you’ve nothing to worry about. You’ve _won_ her heart, and there’s no competing with that,” Donghyuck said. 

“You should tell her that!”

“I will, if you want me to. I know you’re both kind people who care for each other.”

Mr Watts laughed again, loud and rasping. Did he always laugh so much? “With an attitude like that, I’m sure you’ll find your own girl to settle down with soon.” 

“Yes, well…” Donghyuck trailed off. He seemed amused, if a little out of water. 

Competing for... a woman’s heart. Settling down with a girl. Oh. Mark hadn’t... He hadn’t thought about that. 

That didn’t necessarily have to mean anything, right? Mark had never allowed himself the time for relationships, but the few times he’d had crushes, they’d been either girls or boys. And here he was, so taken with Donghyuck, more than he’d ever been with anyone else. So, maybe...

Why was everything a maybe? Maybe everything did mean more, maybe Donghyuck couldn’t even like him - for more reasons than one. 

But even if, by some chance, Donghyuck liked guys too, what certainty could he have that he’d like him? And if he didn’t, and Mark confessed? Would he lose the most special person in his life? Was he right to keep silent, before? Surely everything else had to be the adrenaline.

Mark felt the walls lower and constrict around him, like he was in a booby-trapped temple, and his heart sunk entirely.

“Mark?” Donghyuck waved a hand in front of him to get his attention, since he'd long ignored the conversation. “I was just introducing you to Mr Watts. This is Mark, he’s-”

“I’m Donghyuck’s friend.” 

The words tumbled out impulsively, sounding more heavy than he’d meant, only to grant Mark some kernel of stability, to distance the horrifying confession he’d just been about to make. 

Donghyuck seemed taken aback for a moment. Mark couldn’t understand why - he’d saved him the embarrassment of having to say partner. What had been going through his mind earlier to use that term, of all things? What a word, really, leaving so much space for interpretation. 

“Yes, he is,” Donghyuck said, expression guarded. If Mark hadn’t known better, he might have mistaken his passing reaction for disappointment. “And this is Mr Watts, Mrs Watts’ husband. You’ve met her already.”

Mr Watts shook his hand so fervently he might have dislocated it. He clearly hadn’t noticed the tension in the room. 

“Great to make your acquaintance, Mark. My wife was quite impressed with you. Maybe you can come perform again, how ‘bout it?""

“Oh…” That was quite possibly the last thing on his mind. “If Donghyuck wants, sure.”

“The nonsense you say, Mark,” Donghyuck said, then addressed Mr Watts again, “We’ll definitely come.” 

“Warms the heart to hear it, fellows!”

The rest of the conversation came and passed right by Mark. Mr Watts purely wanted to chat, and Mark was mostly excluded, not for lack of trying on Donghyuck’s part, so it was all a blur. The man saw them off, yet again invited them back at a later date, and then they were left in front of the pub, amidst a dismal silence. Or so it felt to Mark, who was embarrassed both by his feelings and what had nearly occurred thanks to them.

“Before he interrupted-” Donghyuck began, and Mark felt all the air being sucked out of him. Was Donghyuck going to ask him what he’d been meaning to say? Or worse, had he figured it out? Was he about to call him out on it? “I was about going to ask what we should do to celebrate.”

Oh. Well, he’d been spared.

Only didn’t that just mean Donghyuck hadn’t noticed anything? Donghyuck, who was one to notice everything. Clearly it was such an outrageous idea it couldn’t have even occurred to him. He’d likely been expecting Mark to thank him. The tingles of electricity, of a strange tension, the strong pull Mark had felt, thought he’d felt in the air? Perhaps that was just him.

Of course it was.

“We don’t need to-”

“And there was one answer you weren’t allowed to give. That one.”

If there was one thing Mark wanted, it was to return home and wail in self pity for the rest of the night. Still, he dreaded thinking he could be so selfish as to deny Donghyuck this, after all the hours he’d sacrificed to help him, the way he’d taken this goal of Mark’s (to improve, to get over his stage fright) not as a burden, but rather as something natural. Maybe he’d even assumed it as his own goal. 

How could Donghyuck give up so much for him out of pure friendship, while Mark, Mark and his laughable feelings, couldn’t even get over a wound Donghyuck hadn’t meant to cause?

“Let’s go have a drink, then,” he said, more out of spite for himself. 

“I didn’t peg you for a drinker, Mark,” Donghyuck said, expression curious. 

“I’m really not. Not like, getting drunk sort of drinking. But I won’t lose my wits after a drink or two, it’s cool.”

So it was settled. Mark refused to invite the other guys as well; he had enough on his plate without Hendery prodding him until he cheered up, or Taeyong looking at him with a knowing sympathy, when in fact neither knew anything. These were Mark’s feelings, his burden to bear. 

And he most definitely needed to stop burdening Donghyuck with near confessions. Needed to think about their friendship. 

Because of his gigs, Donghyuck knew most of the best places in town. He guided them to a small bar positioned in a back alley, looking rather dodgy from the outside, smudged windows obscuring the interior. It was the sort of place Mark would never enter on his own. He was somewhat iffy about entering it even then, but he knew the younger would never take him anywhere less than respectable.

Unexpectedly, it was the opposite of scary inside. The pub was decorated in an 80s style: cheesy neon signs, bright, lurid lights positioned in various places to illuminate key components of the room, as well as some random, questionable decorations (a fake fox head pinned to a wall, a man-o’-war replica on a pedestal, various partially broken vases on each table). Like something out of a movie, honestly. 

Or the taste of a very curious individual? 

When they approached, the bartender called out to them, the excitement in his voice punctuating the laid-back atmosphere.

“Duckie! How long has it been?”

Dressed in an all black, tight-fitting outfit, hair attractively parted, he hardly looked like a barman. With his handsome features, charming half-smile and intentionally bashful aura, he might’ve passed as an A-list celebrity. 

Donghyuck released an exaggerated sigh as he slipped into a seat.

“Yoonoh,” he said drily, to which the man raised an eyebrow. “This is Mark. And for the fiftieth time, Donghyuck, not Duckie.”

“Mark, was it?” the barman said, crossed his arms and watched Mark with mild interest, then returned to Donghyuck. “You never bring anyone around. What’s this?” 

“Are you unwell, Yoonoh? Should I be concerned? Since when are you that interested in the people I hang out with?"

“I’m simply looking out for you, Duckie! You could learn to appreciate it.” He chuckled, teasing. "You two look cute together."

Together? As in, together together? Romantic sort of together?

Mark's brain short circuited and he glanced towards Donghyuck, in time to catch his eyes widen fractionally. Mark said nothing (if he had, he'd have rambled anyway), praying Donghyuck would take the lead. Hoping he would, so he'd hear his answer.

“Is your goal to make me regret coming?” Donghyuck sighed, but Mark noticed the note of warmth beneath the theatrics. "Don't make Mark uncomfortable."

Yoonoh laughed, a low but inviting sound. Every reverberation pierced Mark in the chest like shards of ice. Laughing, as if it was a funny joke. At least Donghyuck hadn't seemed appalled by the idea. He'd mentioned Mark's comfort, not his own.

“Never mind this youngin, Mark. He’s been this dramatic for as long as I’ve known him, it’s his speciality. And call me Jaehyun. Yoonoh’s just Hyuck being eccentric.” He patted Mark’s shoulder as if to welcome him, but his expression held a light warning to not use the latter. “Rosé for Hyuckie here, and for you?” 

“Uh, whatever you have that’s not like, super strong.”

“Ha! All my favourite clients place themselves in my humble care.” He grinned, and it seemed the request had shifted his perception of Mark. “I’ll make you something special, hold steady!”

Mark wasn’t entirely sure he’d made the right decision by not choosing his own drink. It would be quite anticlimactic if he was to die so young. Hopefully Donghyuck’s trust in this man was well-placed, and he’d survive the night.

As Jaehyun began pouring the drinks, he asked Donghyuck, “So how’s Johnny, huh?” 

“You know him - always positive and on the go. Even happier lately, if you can believe it.” 

"Oh? How come?" 

“He met a really great guy a few months ago, and they’re together now.” 

“Really?!” Mark exclaimed, caught off guard. 

Donghyuck threw him an incredulous, amused look. “Ten, Mark?” 

“Wait... I thought they were just dating?” 

“There’s not that big a difference, dork,” he said. “But yeah, Johnny told me a few days ago that they’re properly together now. It’s not like I couldn’t tell anyway. They’ve hardly kept it a secret.” 

“And Ten didn’t think to let me know?” Mark lamented, as Jaehyun slid a drink in front of him. A whiskey sour? Some other type of (hopefully not dangerous) concoction?

“I reckon he thought you knew.” 

That was a funny idea, thinking that Mark could notice all important things on his own. 

For an uneasy moment, Donghyuck hesitated. He tapped his own glass of wine, thoughtful, before adding, more quietly, “You’re... okay with it?” 

“What with?” 

“Johnny and Ten being in a relationship?” 

A short, confused huff escaped Mark. “Why would I not be?” 

Donghyuck avoided his eyes. If his shoulders were tense, clearly uncomfortable, his expression was about ten times more contorted, jaw clenched.

“Just, you know. Since they’re both guys? I guess.” 

If someone had grabbed a hammer and hit Mark on the top of the head, it would’ve likely been less disorienting. Dread stole into his gut, and he inhaled the next two breaths with difficulty. Maybe this was all part of a universal plan to trample on all of his feelings and hopes, one step at a time, to show him how wrong he’d been to assume singing Donghyuck a confession song was the right thing to do.

Did Donghyuck have something against them being together, for that reason? And... Mark had almost revealed his feelings, less than two hours ago. 

Since he doubted anything could ache more than that, he figured he’d ask, at least to get some clarity. 

"So you’re not-" 

“You two, you haven’t forgotten about little ol’ me, have you?” Jaehyun interrupted instead. His arms were spread out expansively on the bar and he was leaning over it, watching them with brashness. Mark didn’t know if he was grateful for or annoyed by the intervention. “I haven’t seen Hyuckie… say, has it been a year already? Johnny’s not been stopping by as often as he used to either… Betrayal, you two.” 

“The shop’s been keeping him busy,” Donghyuck said, regaining his self-possession. “And you haven’t invited me to play. Pour me another, will you?” 

Indeed, while Mark had barely touched his drink, tempted though he was, what with his gradually worsening day, Donghyuck had finished his in two full gulps. 

“So that’s all our friendship resumes to, huh?” Jaehyun joked, but did as told. He glanced to Mark with a jaunty grin, so very attractive in his comfortable, not at all domineering confidence. “Hyuckie doesn’t drink much, but he used to give some killer performances. Had clients lining up. Bet you know, right?” 

“He’s really good,” Mark said, voice coming out a bit weak. 

“Mark’s great too.” 

Jaehyun shook the curly hair out of his eyes with Donghyuck’s comment, then set one hand on his hip. “Saw the guitars, figured. I’m in the presence of another artist, then?” 

“Uh... something like that,” Mark mumbled. 

“Humility? You could learn a few things from this one, Hyuckie.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Donghyuck groused. 

He was in a strange state. On the one hand, despite bickering with Jaehyun ever since they’d arrived, he seemed at ease with him, like he’d known him a long time, trusted him. On the other hand, though, he’d nearly finished his second drink, and was eyeing the bottle dutifully. He didn’t look any less put together than normally, but he wasn’t the ebullient boy he’d been after their performance. 

Mark battled the need to check in on him, replacing it with the memory of how stupid everything he’d done in the previous few hours had managed to be. He’d only frustrate Donghyuck further. 

And, honestly, he also needed a moment to himself to simply breathe.

Come night, the bar filled with lairy youths, as well as some spry senior citizens. Jaehyun, unlike Donghyuck, had been very talkative. He’d explained the outlandish decor was the owner’s, ‘Doyoung’s fault’. More precisely ‘it’s ‘cause he watched this one movie or something’. Mark also discovered how he and Donghyuck knew each other. 

“Doyoung had just taken me on, might’ve been half a year at best. Then Hyuckie pops up, guitar in tow, asking for a chance. He was adorable, by the way, he’s such a bore now! Look at him, always wearing those patterned shirts, acting all grown up! They’re gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but nowhere as cute as back in the day. Those squishy cheeks! A child, I tell you.” 

An image of a teenage Donghyuck, amidst those Sehyun and Haeun had presented him, crystallised in Mark’s mind. Donghyuck just rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment. 

“Then he played here for a long while, almost every day at some point. I think he’d just moved here, no clue. But our bar might as well take all credit for the crazy renown he has now,” Jaehyun related, while he alternated preparing drinks for clients and wiping the counter, and smirked at Donghyuck. “He even met Johnny here.” 

“So the place you mentioned before...?” Mark said. 

“Was this one, yeah. Only Jaehyun seems to forget the circumstances of my meeting Johnny. Remember the rowdy and bruetish crowd?” Donghyuck said, resting his chin in his palm. He’d become more sluggish, smiling randomly after the four (or was it five?) glasses of wine he’d had. He was probably tipsy by now, so Mark had one more reason to postpone drinking himself. 

“Why focus on the negatives? Johnny saved you, didn’t he? No harm, no foul.” 

Donghyuck sniggered. He reached for the wine bottle Jaehyun had purposefully left him, so he could pour himself another drink and, as the barman had put it, ‘spare him’. Mark caught his hand before he could. 

“That’s one too many drinks, Hyuck,” he said, trying not to sound condescending.

For the first time since they’d arrived, Donghyuck’s eyes stared into Mark’s. They were dark and forlorn, glimmering with far too many emotions, like hundreds of disparate reflections in a shattered mirror. Mark couldn’t catch onto any particular one. Then his eyes moved to their hands, and Mark pulled away as if burnt, hyperaware of the touch. 

“Oooh, he cares about you, Hyuckie. What a sight,” Jaehyun sighed. 

“Do you ever stop teasing?” Donghyuck said, and the accusation sounded a lot rawer than the situation called for. Even so, he’d pushed the glass and bottle aside. 

“I’m just saying, you two are-" 

“I don’t need to hear it, Jaehyun." 

“Yikes. Hint taken,” Jaehyun said, then mouthed conspiratorially to Mark ‘grumpy’. 

Mark frowned. Something wasn’t right. Guilt overpowered him - he had no idea what had prompted the change of mood. He’d been so focused on his feelings, running back and forth between deciding to confess and not to, that he hadn’t even noticed there was something bothering Donghyuck. Far worse was the thought that perhaps he’d played a part in it, that Donghyuck was only feigning ignorance to Mark’s secret.

God, he was overthinking absolutely everything. 

“Do you want to head home? It’s been fun, but it’s late,” he asked, knowing Donghyuck wouldn’t suggest leaving when they were supposedly there to celebrate Mark. Not that it had felt like a celebration. 

“Sure, yeah,” Donghyuck said, in a tone that rang like ‘God, yes, please’. 

It took longer than necessary to actually pay for the drinks. First, Donghyuck wouldn’t give in and let Mark pay; second, Jaehyun was uncertain whether he should accept the money or offer the drinks on the house. ‘A one time thing’, as a token of friendship and a congratulations for Mark besting his fear earlier. Apparently, he admired such initiatives. Eventually, they settled on paying half the bill, a practical compromise. 

“Tell Johnny to drop by sometime, Hyuckie. He can bring his boyfriend, if he wants. And you can visit too, Mark. Bring Hyuck and a guitar and the bar’ll be all yours.” 

“Thanks,” Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll remind Hyuck in case he forgets in the morning.” 

“Oh, he will! On purpose, for that matter. Counts that you thought to offer, though.” 

And there Mark was, arm wrapped around Donghyuck’s waist, walking them home, trying to push the events of the day aside until he could make sure Donghyuck was safe and sound in his own bed. It wasn’t the easiest task he’d assigned himself, given Donghyuck was right there, alternating between sad and happy smiles, not quite drunk, but definitely absentminded. 

“You liked Jaehyun, right? He’s a cool guy. Johnny and him pretty much grew up together, even though Johnny’s a bit older. Sometimes I get it and sometimes... it makes no sense. Strange, but they have the same kinda aura,” Donghyuck mused, and he walked the next metre with his eyes closed, holding tighter onto Mark. 

“You two seemed close too,” Mark said. 

“He’s a nice guy,” Donghyuck said simply. He considered it for a while longer, saying, “Close. I guess. I thought we were, some, before. But Jaehyun’s close with everyone. Flirts with most people too. You're bound to get the wrong idea. We get along. We’re not like... friends friends. Like me and Johnny. Or even him and Johnny. But he’s a good guy. Live life fully sort of guy. Pretty interesting guy, y'know.” 

Mark nearly got vertigo from the amount of times Donghyuck had used the word ‘guy’ in a mere few sentences. He decided it was better to keep the questions to a minimum. The excuse that his head was spinning hushed Donghyuck, and they made their way back quietly. The fresh air had a positive effect, and by the time they’d entered Donghyuck’s room, his daze partially wore off. 

Donghyuck succeeded in kicking his boots off while Mark tried to make sense of the mess that his bed was. A little straightening, discarding of unneeded books and pens and about three shirts and a pair of jeans later, Donghyuck slipped under the covers.

The first time Mark had visited, Johnny had teased Donghyuck about having tidied his room in a timely manner. He’d insinuated Mark should drop by more often to provide incentive for the younger to repeat the process. He hadn’t got it right - it had been a one time effort only, and now, whenever Mark entered his room, it was in its raw state. Mark preferred it, honestly, as it had more personality. 

March nights were still rather cold, so Donghyuck was shivering slightly under the covers. Against his better judgement, Mark rubbed the younger’s arms, hoping the touch and friction would create the sought after warmth. He disregarded how Donghyuck kept peeping at him, then turning away. 

“Better?” 

“Mhm,” Donghyuck mumbled. 

He grabbed the stuffed lion Mark had bought him for Christmas, after the younger had hinted he ‘definitely needed’ a soft toy like Mark’s. ‘Lions are really cute, did you notice? Probably the cutest animal,’ he’d said, pressing his lips together to stop a mischievous smile. He’d named it Raaawr (which was objectively the worst name he could have chosen), only because Mark had burst out laughing at the suggestion. 

He hugged it tightly to his chest. At any other time, Mark might’ve teased him for being a child, but now Donghyuck looked anything but young or carefree. 

During their entire walk back, even before, Donghyuck’s mind had been elsewhere. It wasn’t necessarily that he was overwhelmed by something, rather that he seemed meditative. Maybe even gloomy, but it was hard to say with his strange behaviour that night. 

“What’s on your mind?” Mark said. 

Donghyuck hummed, his hold on the toy lion loosening. A long silence followed, like Donghyuck was contemplating whether or not to tell him. 

He still avoided his eyes as he answered, “I was thinking about myself. From before I met you.” He inhaled, exhaled languidly. “When it was easier.” 

Mark blinked, not at how abrupt and odd that course of thought was - though it had come out of the blue. It was rather the word ‘easier’ that he’d latched onto, the one that felt like a punch to the chest. Part of him knew he shouldn’t ask, that maybe it was wiser he didn’t. 

“Why... why easier?” he asked nevertheless. 

Donghyuck’s lips held a faint smile, distant, clouded by an expression Mark couldn’t discern as either serene or burdened. After a lengthy pause, he whispered, “It hurt less then.” 

Mark’s fist tightened by his side, the silky fabric of his shirt fell heavy and rasp against his skin. He might’ve felt sick, and his stomach _was_ contracting agonizingly, but in those short moments the only emotion was that of emptiness. A void, a desert that had been drained of its mirages, a lonely, hopeless sea of sand. 

‘Hurts? How? What? I’m hurting him? Is it that I... Why? I’m not... it’s not me?’ Mark thought frantically. What had Mark done to hurt him? 

Two painful realities awoke from that single, passing confession - that Mark’s feelings were indeed, as he’d thought, not reciprocated, but beyond that, that thinking of hurting Donghyuck stung more than the previous realisation ever could. 

His silence was followed by Donghyuck’s eyes searching for his. When they met, the younger gave him a pat on the knee.

“But it was harder back then too, lots harder. A different sort of pain,” he said through half-lidded eyes, before staring back at the wall. Maybe he didn’t have the energy to keep looking at Mark for longer than needed, now that he was being honest. 

Mark stopped prodding this time. He just sat there, for a while, not truly there, not alone but lonely, left only with his thoughts. Then he braced himself and spoke. 

“Do you regret it? Meeting me?”

Of course he hoped it wasn’t the case, hoped the previous months hadn’t been a lie, that their bond was real. It had to be, right? Why else would Donghyuck allow him into his life, make an effort to be a part of Mark’s as well? All of the embraces, stories, jokes, advice, they had to mean at least partially as much to Donghyuck as they did to Mark, surely?

And not just that - nights spent reminiscing, lying on their backs in the back garden or in either of their rooms; debates about serious topics, surprisingly profound, even with the occasional jokes laced between opinions, when they’d go for afternoon walks; exploring the city, finding random restaurants and filming their reactions to new dishes, a series of videos they kept for themselves and titled ‘M&D’s Taste Milestones’. Donghyuck playing Mark his self-written songs, even letting him read some of his dreams. Mark cuddling him, something so special and intimate to him, a privilege he’d only permit Donghyuck. Mark and Donghyuck, two peas in a pod, wasn’t that what Haeun had said?

But if Donghyuck did regret having Mark in his life, Mark would step aside, however much it would ache. He’d do the hard thing for himself, if it meant it would allay Donghyuck’s pain. The scar it would leave would likely remain embedded in his heart for a long while to come, but he wouldn’t hesitate.

Same as on his birthday, his wish was for Donghyuck to be happy. That would suffice.

“Mark,” Donghyuck said, finally looking at him properly, though still a little tipsy-like. His features were soft, glistening in the low light of the lamp, like a sleepy sunflower stroked by moonlight. He smiled, that same personal mien he’d shared with him on stage earlier: the sunflower blooming again at dawn. “How could I ever regret it? Easier or harder, you made it better. Happier. So much happier. Only happier.”

Mark barely held back a sigh of relief, if only for the fact that the pressure in his stomach was still there, needlelike and vehement. It eased with the fragility of Donghyuck’s gaze, but intensified when remembering the supposed pain he’d brought him. 

Seeing as he didn’t respond, Donghyuck attempted another smile, drowsy, and said, “Will you sleep over tonight?” 

The day was supposed to be one of the most extraordinary days of Mark’s year - overcoming a fear, performing with Donghyuck, celebrating - and it had. Afterwards, however, it had gone downhill, in a continuous plunge, each blow harder for Mark to bear. 

The hardest one wasn’t for Donghyuck not to like him back - Mark was grateful to have a friend in him, and he’d never dream to ask him for more. But it was for that same reason that this had affected Mark so strongly. He couldn’t stand to think he’d done something to negatively impact the younger, didn't want to become a harmful factor for him.

“No,” he said. His words came out as if unattached to his voice, a low, weak cadence. "I don’t think I will.” 

“Oh. Okay,” said Donghyuck, but didn’t try to convince him otherwise. 

“Sleep well, Donghyuck,” he said, and the boy’s full name was droplets of lead crashing onto his tongue. Even in his state, Donghyuck’s eyebrows knitted together at the sound of it. 

Before leaving, he checked again that Donghyuck was well covered, removed his phone from him, so that he wouldn’t do anything he’d regret in the morning, and encouraged him to leave all other activities for the following day. At Donghyuck’s request, he left one of the lamps open in a far corner. Then he slipped away, chancing one last look at the boy before he left. His eyes were already closed, blankets pulled all the way up to his chin, breathing through his mouth. A palpable dream.

Having returned to his room, Mark didn’t head for the bed. He stood by the window, nibbling on his bottom lip. 

He blew warm air on the cold window, watching it condensate, then dragged his finger over it aimlessly, drawing random shapes, as he’d used to do as a child. He nearly wrote Donghyuck’s name too, but stopped after the first syllable. Even that was risky - what if Hendery or Ten awoke, visited and found the evidence to incriminate him? Perhaps Donghyuck himself, if he hadn’t gone to bed, would be able to see it from across the street, through the pitch black of the night.

He let his hand fall in a weak fist against the windowsill, the terrarium Donghyuck had gifted him trembling lightly with the reverberations. Even that hurt, somehow. Like everything that day.

He suddenly wished he’d drunk more, so he’d wake up devoid of the memories of the night, the pain similarly dissipating. 

He wasn’t sad. Not upset, either. He didn’t know what he was. Disillusioned. Confused about what Donghyuck had meant by saying he was hurting. Unsure how to continue. 

“Ha, Mark. What’ve you gotten yourself into,” he muttered. 

It was foolish to hope, but a small part of him still had. Not a hope he'd he believed in, but... still there. An anchor to justify his feelings, to lessen the trepidation and uncertainty. Hearing those words upfront was a confirmation he didn’t wish for, but maybe one that he’d needed. A wake-up call. 

He gave into the pull of the bed, resting in the corner next to the window. He sank more and more, like he’d fallen in quicksand. Or rather an endless galaxy, somewhere deep inside his starry blankets.

He leaned back on one arm, tilted his head back. It was like all the energy had been drawn out of him. There was no feeling. Just him. No sounds, either. Such a strange quiet - only, it seemed, not the calm before the storm, rather the calm right after. Outside, some raindrops from a rain that didn’t yet dare take full shape fell on his window. One now, one half a minute later, the next an eternity away - like the heavy, slow steps of a giant.

Mark welcomed the silence. His emotions would have run rampant without a calming factor. This silence... he’d accepted it, the first step before accepting everything else. 

He felt more tired than he had in months, but he couldn’t see himself getting as much as a wink of sleep. No... He was stuck, for now, in this state. Or in this non-state.

He just was, and the quiet was, and the mattress was, and everything was. Not all was: Donghyuck wasn’t. Perhaps he never would be more than that palpable dream. But Mark was, and he would continue to be. 


	12. Chapter 12

Time was a cruel thing, Mark thought idly. Whoever had created all its divisions, how fast or slowly they passed, had clearly taken a very systematic, rational approach, but failed to consider the more subtle details. Such as the fact that time went by in a completely different way when strong feelings were involved. Feelings like his.

The few days after the revelation (“When it hurt less”), he and Donghyuck had fallen into small arguments time and again. Not proper quarrels - just Donghyuck’s confusion beating against the fortress (with walls of guilt and gates of fear) that Mark had retreated to. More often than not, Mark had snapped, saying something acid, once the concern and the questions and the attempts to lighten the mood got too painful to bear. They were out of step with each other, and everything hurt.

Thus, the only solution Mark had come up with was to try to avoid him as much as possible. In time, he would manage to repress his feelings enough for them not to get in the way, cease to prove hurtful for Donghyuck. Eventually, he might even obliterate them for good, and they would stop taking a toll on their friendship.

Naturally, that was easier said than done - although it had only been little over a week since the ordeal started, that period had felt to Mark like about five full, insipid months, stagnant and leaden. His solution only proved miserable. Beyond miserable: avoiding Donghyuck was _hard_.

It was always hard, without exception. In physical terms, it was hard because Donghyuck was right there, in the same shop, often gliding past him to get to a client or instinctively resting a hand on his back so as not to scare him when reaching for something from next to him. It was hard because they were used to being together - during lunch breaks, after work hours, often even on their days off. Now it was only during work, really, but that made things no less complicated.

As for a more emotional approach, it was exhausting because Donghyuck still smiled: that comfortable, mellow, self-possessed smile towards his clients; the broader, more radiant smile when talking to Chenle, the one that extended to his eyes, made them flicker with fondness; that sort of… pouty smile, however that worked, when trying to get Ten, Taeyong or Johnny to pay attention to him. He still laughed, because Hendery was funny without even trying, and Chenle was an instant bringer of joy.

It was also hard because Donghyuck seemed (was?) dejected as a result of Mark’s actions. When Mark chose to spend time with Hendery during lunch breaks, confusion twisted the lines of Donghyuck’s forehead; when he retreated to his room or meandered around the streets after work, Donghyuck looked at a loss and, honestly, a bit crestfallen. He never seemed quite so completely unlike himself than in those moments, wearing an uncomfortably strained smile. Not his past easy, habitual one - this one felt tired, so tired, like his lips were made of lead and he had to force them to curl upwards. And when Mark chose to bypass a topic or answer his questions with monosyllabic replies, be vague and unfeeling, Donghyuck truly looked so vulnerable and shaken it hurt Mark to the core.

No, hard wasn’t the right word. It was empty, compared to how harrowing the process felt. Avoiding Donghyuck wasn’t hard. It was about a dozen painful blows at a time, it was like trying to escape from quicksand and only sinking deeper, it was the crack of a tree branch under a violent storm.

It was all of those things and yet none of them, because half the time it just felt like a void - next to him, where Donghyuck wasn’t present, but even more so inside, deep down.

Avoiding Donghyuck was one of the most painful things Mark had ever done, and yet he found no way to work around it.

“I’m fine, Hyuck, stop badgering me.”

“But-”

“I’m _fine_.”

Fine was taking it a bit too far. He wasn’t quite fine, but he’d get there. Somehow.

“Seriously, Mark, you’ve been so… I don’t know. Not yourself. Frowning, constantly on the defensive. Did I… Did I do something? That night?”

Wasn’t Mark the one who’d done everything? Donghyuck had only been honest. How could he accuse him of that, when he’d been the one to help him become more open in the first place? 

His answer was a shake of the head. 

Donghyuck clasped his wrist tenderly. The sudden gesture, but even more so its gentility, had Mark glance at him. He immediately faltered as he met his eyes, saw the apprehension swimming in them. 

“Mark. You don’t have to pretend. It started around that time, didn’t it? I was pretty drunk, and I might’ve said something stupid, but if you tell me what happened we can figure it-”

“I’m fine. Drop it, okay?”

“We’ll never work it out if I do, though, will we? We promised to be honest even if it’s difficult. And I know it is because it’s probably my fault somehow and you don’t want to put me in an uncomfortable position, but-”

“Not everything’s about you, Hyuck, you know,” Mark said, not thinking. Regretted it the moment he did.

A flash of emotion dashed across the younger’s face. His head bobbed down, flinching. Mark nearly slapped himself. He was afraid of hurting him, and by trying not to, he was only doing it more.

 _I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that_. Yet, since Donghyuck had momentarily followed him to the backroom to ensure he was okay, clients were waiting for them out front.

“We should get back to work,” Mark said, words with which he trampled over his heart. 

Donghyuck nodded, didn’t answer. Gave up on trying to persuade Mark to talk. His expression turned impassive again, but Mark would’ve been blind not to realise that his words had stung. Happier… Maybe he didn’t make Donghyuck happier, after all.

But there was no time to ponder on that. Work hours and clients were sacred, and Mark’s dedication to them, especially in his attempt to occupy himself and forget his worries, was obstinate.

Only wasn’t their friendship ever more precious than all that?

“It could just be work or all the guitar practice catching up to him. Don’t read too much into it.”

Mark was returning downstairs after a bathroom break when he heard Taeyong’s voice. He moved to the halfway-opened window on the first-floor hallway, facing the back garden. Outside, Taeyong, Hendery and Chenle had gathered around Donghyuck, who had his back turned to him, and was standing, arms crossed, peering into the horizon. It left a sour taste in his mouth, as he knew he once would have joined them. But he was glad to see him with them - it was a testament to how much closer they’d grown. Mark was pretty sure Donghyuck now considered them friends.

“Really, Tae? Hyuck’s right to be upset. Mark’s harebrained antics are getting old,” Hendery said. _Hey!_ Mark thought bitterly, but couldn’t blame him for it. He would’ve said the same thing to Mark’s face, without any reservations.

“I told you, I’m not-” Donghyuck began.

“Well, I am! Want me to give him a good bop across the head? As his friend, I am a hundred per cent entitled to knock some sense into him if, no, when he’s being daft.”

“I don’t think that’s why Donghyuck wanted to talk to us, Hendery,” Taeyong said. Mark could hear the light reprimand in his voice, but laughter punctuated the crisp spring air. Donghyuck’s.

“It’s alright,” he said, stifling a chuckle. “He’s only trying to help.”

“I mean it though,” Hendery continued, serious this time, “Not about beating him up, but if you want me to try to talk to him and-”

“No, no... There’s no need for that. I’m… I wouldn’t want to put any more pressure on him. I just thought he might’ve, y’know, said something. If there was something wrong.”

Mark felt the words like a stab to the chest.

“Hyung,” Chenle moaned and moved to hug him from the side. Even from a distance, the embrace was visibly tighter than it needed to be. Donghyuck patted his back gently.

“Lele, no need to be so sad, I’m really not-”

“I’m sorry this is happening,” the younger continued, “I’m sure Mark hyung’s just dealing with something, he cares about you so much and he wouldn’t knowingly do anything to hurt you.”

And yet, wasn’t he? Everyone had so much faith in him, but he couldn’t have been handling things more terribly if he’d tried.

“I know, Lele... I was simply hoping he-”

But Mark never found out what Donghyuck was hoping, as suddenly someone said ‘Eavesdropping?’ right next to his ear.

“Argh!” he yelped and sprang to the side with a jolt, hitting his head against the open window. “Ten, what the hell?!”

Ten, the culprit, gave him a shrewd smile and shrugged innocently. “Was curious, is all,” he said, patted Mark’s head (which stung, by the way) and moved to the window. “It’s our guys down there, what’re you snooping for?”

“I’m not! I was… uh…”

But Ten cut him off by sticking his head out the window and yelling “Hey, Hyuck, look up he-!”

Mark hit his head once more in his haste to pull Ten away, further into the hallway, to put a stop to his ear-splitting cries. “Ten!” he hissed, still holding tightly onto his arm, to make sure he wouldn’t get any other brilliant ideas. “Just what’re you doing?”

“How about what are you doing? Aside from staring at Hyuck from afar - and don’t tell me you weren’t, I’ve got neurons, and eyes - with that airy-fairy look, when all the while you’re avoiding him like the plague.”

It was fascinating, as well as partially concerning, how easily the lie slipped out. “I’m not avoiding him? I’ve just been…” He remembered the excuse Taeyong had come up with for him, “tired.”

Ten gave him a serious one-over, then raised an eyebrow, unmoved.

“Mark, take it from me: if you want an excuse to be believable, put some effort into it. A tree could tell you’re lying.” He waved a hand dismissively as Mark started explaining himself. “As I was saying - effort. Extend the excuse to everyone. Why can you spend time with me and Hendery if you’re so tired? But then you don’t open the door if Donghyuck comes, don’t go out with him if he suggests it. It’s ridiculous, that’s what it is.”

He... did have a point. Mark had intended to spend less time with everyone, but solitude had only made him more uncertain, thoughts he wanted to bury swirling incessantly in his mind. When Hendery was around, the thoughts drifted away, at least for a short while. 

“He’s been asking about you a lot,” Ten continued, voice lower, more gentle. Mark flinched - the earlier conversation, that wasn’t a one-time thing? “He’s obviously hurt, Marks.”

That further weakened his fervour. He’d heard how Donghyuck had sounded when he’d knocked, only to be met with more excuses; small and worried and confused. But to know it wasn’t just a minor frustration, and that even Ten thought he was hurt, pricked deeply.

“He is?” 

“It’s not that he’s said anything, although he always asks Hendery if you’re alright. Chenle’s been trying to cheer him up, and he’ll smile, but it never reaches his eyes. I’ve never seen him so unfocused. And it’s fair he should be - what’s going on with you two? Did he do something?”

“No! Of course not. He just…” 

He was kind and affectionate and considerate and he held all the beauty of the spring lilac, the glow of a firefly fluttering through a balmy summer evening, the soothing effect of a cup of tea on a bleak October afternoon, the shimmer of the first snow, only the snow was warm like a wool blanket, a paradox. Everything Donghyuck was was inexplicable but it made perfect sense and Mark just didn’t know how to deal with it. He wanted to cave in and tell him everything (“No secrets between us, Markles”), while simultaneously he wanted it all to stop - the compliments, the teasing, the closeness, wanted to stop feeling so helpless yet so hopeful, wanted things to go back to how they’d been. 

But they wouldn’t and he needed to _breathe_. 

Other than be positively lovely and give Mark hope he had no way of suppressing, then shatter it unknowingly, “He didn’t do anything.”

Ten smiled the kind of smile he saved for those closest to him, a sweet, slightly crooked lift of the lips, which in another person might have looked like a smirk, but the fondness in its curves reflected in his eyes tenfold. He seemed to be contemplating what words of wisdom to offer, but deflated and clapped Mark on the shoulder instead.

“Marks, I know you care about him. I care about you both. I’d rather not see either of you hurting. Don’t do things you’ll regret, hm? What you two have, what you’ve built around each other, that’s rare. The way you two communicate so openly... don’t let go of that. Even if it’s uncomfortable, the truth naturally balances things in time, provided you acknowledge it. Know what I mean?”

Mark took a sharp intake of breath. He did know. He should have known. Then why was it so difficult to accept?

“Yeah. But it’s been… tough, recently.”

“That happens. Even Taeyong and I have had our fair share of trouble, believe it or not.” He did, though he was fairly sure their problems were of a vastly different nature. “But you don’t let tough take over - you work through it. Your problem is that you look at things only as black and white, right and wrong, this and that - constant opposites. Things are rarely like that. Never mind what you think might or might not happen. Just try to sort out whatever’s going on, and everything will happen on its own, the way it’s supposed to. Do it together. Make an effort to. Otherwise, it might get to a point where things are much too complicated to sort out.”

“Yeah… I know. You’re right, I... I’ll do my best.” He sighed; paused; lifted his lowered chin to look at Ten, wide-eyed. “You haven’t talked to him about this too, have you?”

“If you want me to get involved, I will. But not otherwise,” Ten said, kindly. “But do tell me if I ever have to give either of you any nudges in the right direction. I’m all ears.”

He ruffled Mark’s hair, patted his cheek twice, which drew a momentary smile from him. “It’ll be fine, Marks. If there’s anyone who can find their way back to each other, it’s you two.”

Mark nodded, but the feeling of dread squirming in his belly lingered long after Ten left.

If being with him hurt Donghyuck, and not being with him hurt too, what was Mark supposed to do? What was the middle way that Ten was talking about?

Mark collapsed into a chair as Taeyong turned the sign on the door to the “Closed for now!” side, in Ten’s extravagant handwriting, boasting different doodles around the corners, as though meant to attract clients rather than halt their arrival.

He was rightfully exhausted - it had been such a hectic day. It seemed everyone in a five-mile radius had needed bouquets, for any and all occasions. Consequently, order after order after about a dozen other orders had come in continually. They were two workers short, too. Chenle (who’d since become an official, albeit part-time employee) had had to drop by his parents’ for an unstated reason, and Donghyuck was also missing. His was a reason Mark knew but preferred to ignore. He and Taeyong, with Ten’s added help, had had to overcome this shortcoming.

He propped his chin on his outstretched arm, if only to not directly drop it on the counter, and groaned. He tried to focus on the strain in his muscles and hoped it was enough for his mind not to wander down guiltier paths.

“Tired?” Taeyong asked as he returned. He laid a comforting hand on Mark’s shoulder. 

“Knackered. Where d’you find the energy to still be up and about?”

“Trust me, I’ll be out like a light as soon as I find my bed,” he said, smiling, though weariness tinted the usual spark in his eyes. “Let me guess, it’s the kind of tiredness that won’t let you walk upstairs?”

“Mhm. I’ll just lie here as if slain by the flowers until I can feel my muscles again. Actually, until I _can’t_ feel them. I don’t suppose I should be feeling them quite so much.”

Taeyong chuckled. “‘Slain by the flowers’… I’m sure Donghyuck would’ve been proud of how poetic that sounded,” he said. Mark winced at the comment; well-intentioned, but not something he currently wanted to think about. “By the way, where is he? I never got to ask when he left.”

“So you’re asking me?” Mark said, prompting a curious look from Taeyong.

“Shouldn’t I be? It crossed my mind, and you’re the one who’s normally aware of his whereabouts.”

Mark scoffed. “And if I’m not, what? You can’t stand his absence anymore? Miss him every time he’s at Funky Pluckers? Worry about him for no reason?” he said, unsure why it sounded so bitter. Taeyong had done nothing to warrant such a caustic reply.

Nevertheless, the older didn’t argue, nor return a yet more spiteful answer of his own. He simply leaned against the counter, looking down at Mark sympathetically, and somewhat… sadly?

“Are you worried about him?”

Mark nearly spluttered. He stood up in his chair, open-mouthed.

“What? Where did that come from?”

Taeyong shrugged. “That was a rather sour reaction to a simple question. Sounded more like something you wanted to say to yourself than me.” His eyes passed over Mark’s face, apologetic. “And you _look_ worried. You’ve looked worried all day.” 

God, Mark had really thought it wouldn’t be noticeable. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, feeling winded under Taeyong’s caring gaze. He’d managed to sidestep any conversation that pertained to Donghyuck (more specifically, their recent ups and downs) for so long; but this was different, because he _was_ worried.

“I’m not,” he mumbled, sinking back into his chair. “I mean, I am, but not about him. He’s probably enjoying himself. I’m…” He heaved a long sigh. “Worried I might’ve done something stupid. Something I shouldn’t’ve. For a stupid reason.”

“That seems to be a constant lately,” Taeyong said and drew a nearby chair to sit down, level with Mark.

The younger frowned; it wasn’t like Taeyong to accuse anyone of making mistakes, even if, for all intents and purposes, Mark had more than his fair share of those.

“You thinking that, I mean,” Taeyong said with a light chuckle. “It’s obvious you’ve been giving yourself a hard time. It always looks like you’re beating yourself up for something. Donghyuck’s noticed it too. He asked me about it, but I thought I’d give you some space before bringing it up. Since we’re here - what’s wrong?”

Mark kept quiet, drawing in a deep breath. Taeyong was a wonderful person and an ever-loyal and trustworthy friend. But Mark had unintentionally made everything so muddled and troublesome that he wasn’t sure even Taeyong would know what to make of the situation, or how to solve the strains he’d created.

Noting his unwillingness, Taeyong dropped the subject but backtracked to their initial discussion.

“What do you think you shouldn’t have done?”

Mark lowered his forehead into his hands. It had been a ridiculous, split-second reaction, yet he felt it must’ve been the one to hurt Donghyuck the most out of everything he’d recently done.

Given she had some time to spare before summer term, after a short visit home, Sehyun had revealed she’d be coming to visit her brother, bringing their youngest sister along. Mark knew Haeun would have found a way to join her older siblings even if Sehyun hadn’t thought to bring her, but alas, apparently she’d been saved the trouble. It was a reunion that had been in the works for months, a wish Haeun had been holding onto ever since Mark had first met her.

It naturally meant a great deal to Donghyuck to have his sisters visit at last. He was positively beaming as soon as he received the news, unable to contain his happiness - or impatience. He raved about it to Mark, eyes glimmering joyfully, smile so firmly plastered to his face Mark supposed his cheeks had to be aching. Faced with his elation, Mark had surrendered, embracing him with the same amount of glee.

But that was a few days ago, and this was now.

That morning, Donghyuck had suggested they both pick the girls up from the train station - with such certainty too, as if, for all of Mark’s frigidity, it couldn’t have crossed his mind he’d refuse. He might not have; however, the night before, he’d realised there was a chance Sehyun would be able to read him and his feelings like a book, and that was the last thing he needed. What’s more, things between the two of them were in such a bind that Mark could only assume he’d be barging in on a perfectly special reunion, acting as if the previous weeks hadn’t taken place. How hypocritical would that be?

But, as with every rash decision he continued to make, regret followed.

“Hyuck wanted us to meet up with his sisters, and I…” He grimaced, wishing he could hide his face from Taeyong, dissolve into the air and become one with his embarrassment. “I sort of snapped at him. Said something stupid. Well, not just stupid - hurtful. I don’t know why I can’t seem to stop doing that, Tae. It’s gnawing at me. I only ever make things worse, no matter how much I want them to go back to normal.”

Taeyong grabbed his hand and squeezed it between his. Such a simple gesture, but one of kinship. He briefly struggled with what to say, expression meditative, as streaks of his newly pastel blue hair fell over his eyes. 

“Mark, I think there’s a parallel to make here. This is unlike you, isn’t it? I’ve known you a long time, I know how much you care about the people in your life, and how much more you care about Hyuck. The only other time I’ve seen you like this was... well, actually, when you first met him.”

But back then, he’d gone and… he’d been so…

No… could he truly be acting just as horribly?

“There’s clearly something more going on here - whatever it is you’re trying to solve. But what I’ve noticed is that when you’re struggling with something you’re not in control of, you have this tendency to... well... be a bit rash. A bit crabby. Say and do things without thinking them through. Question is, what’s on your mind that’s been making you act this way?”

What was Mark to say? That he was afraid, guilty and worried? That he regretted every impetuous word and decision? That he considered he’d been wrong in acting this way from the beginning? That he should’ve made the difficult but correct choice of broaching the subject when Donghyuck was sober, solved things one way or the other, never let the tension evolve and weave itself deeper and tighter between them? That he wanted everything to naturally fall back into place, to ignore all that had occurred, but felt that it would forever weigh him down if he didn’t apologise?

That it all hurt? That he was hurting himself, alongside Donghyuck?

“Does it matter? If I know the cause but not the solution, what’s the point?” he asked, defensive.

Taeyong cocked his head to the side, as if not believing his question.

“Whatever the cause, isn’t the solution obvious? You regret what you did, you’re worried and you miss him - what else could you do but try to talk this out with him?”

“I- I can’t. It'll only make things worse--”

“Worse than _this_?”

Mark opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. He was so sick of arguing - he couldn’t argue with Taeyong too, not when he was only looking out for him. And he was right, of course he was. Ten had been right before him, too. He was so clouded by remorse, fear and trepidation that what he wanted, how he truly felt, as well as what once would’ve been the obvious choice had become harder to discern.

“Please, go see him - not today, it’s late and you’re tired, you’ll only say something you’ll regret again - and talk to him. Apologise, clear the air,” Taeyong said. He patted the hand he was holding, to inspirit him. “Can you do that?”

Could he? Perhaps he had to. For Donghyuck, for himself; all he’d done in weeks was cause even more harm in his meek attempts to reorganise his feelings.

“I’ll... try,” he physically strained himself to say the words. Though the simple idea was making his heart hammer in his chest so that it physically hurt, Taeyong’s kind, unassuming smile alleviated some of his concern.

He needed to listen to Taeyong and Ten. Sometimes you had to do the right thing even if certain factors were holding you back. Donghyuck mattered too much to lose him because of something like this.

The next morning, his entrance to Funky Pluckers was accompanied by the soft ring of a bell. It almost made him smile - they’d finally, almost a year later, upgraded to a shopkeeper’s bell. He’d always been surprised Ten hadn’t tried to convince Johnny to do so sooner.

“Hey, Johnny,” he said, approaching. “Is Hyuck around?”

A hint of disappointment coloured the older’s expression, his smile not the warmest he’d given him. He was tuning a guitar but was as impressive sitting down as he would’ve been at his full height.

“Upstairs, with his sisters. No more fighting shy of him, then?”

Discomfited by the straightforward question, Mark felt his cheeks burn. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find out every person between the two shops had noticed the recent dissonance between him and Donghyuck and cottoned on to the fact that Mark was the main source of tension. But he wondered if Johnny perhaps knew more than the others, given how close he and Donghyuck were. He considered asking, but, upon reflection, it seemed the safer option was ignorance.

“Uh. No? No, I’m not-- No.”

Johnny set the guitar aside and leaned forward, one hand propped on his knee as he inspected him.

“No, as in you’re stopping this for good? Doing your best to fix things?”

Mark stared, biting his lip. Johnny could be more intimidating than you’d expect.

“I’m just giving you a hard time, kid. Though I say you’ve earned it. No?” Johnny said, finally smiling amicably and pushing his jet black hair back (how was he so _cool_ even when he was rebuking you?). “You’re a good kid, Mark, you know I like you - but you should also know I won’t stand by if Hyuck’s not being treated fairly.”

Quietly, Mark promised he’d do his best to right things. A reproof from Johnny was possibly the last thing anyone could want. While he looked no less friendly than usual, there was no doubt he’d meant every word.

Once Johnny motioned for him to head upstairs, Mark scampered up the stairs, torn between jitters and an urge to dash in the opposite direction.

Before he could start overthinking, he opened the door to Donghyuck’s room. In hindsight, he definitely should have knocked, but walking in unannounced had become a habit for the two of them - before recent events, in any case.

Three surprised pairs of eyes shot to him.

“Sorry, I--”

“Mark!”

Haeun released Sissi from her arms (a beautiful, regal white Siberian cat, with whom Donghyuck had a funny love-hate sort of relationship), all but leapt out of bed, and in a flash, she’d enfolded Mark in her petite arms. It wouldn’t have been an unexpected reaction - he’d been by Donghyuck’s side during many of their video calls, and she and Mark had definitely become close. But he’d completely avoided meeting them on their first day in town. Knowing her, shouldn’t she have been at least partially upset?

He hugged her back, just barely resisting the urge to ruffle her hair - ironically, a gesture he’d once blamed Johnny and Ten for.

“Heya, Haeun. Good to see your energy levels are as high now as any other time of day.”

“Good to see you’re teasing me as soon as we meet,” she said. “Not unlike someone else.” And she cast a dirty look behind her, at Donghyuck.

Mark chuckled. “Luckily, you’re not cutting either of us any slack.”

“Nope! Never.”

And to show her disapproval, she poked him in the ribs, though it was such a light, clearly playful stab that it managed only to make him laugh. She pulled away, to allow the other two to see him too, but didn’t retreat from his side.

“Where’ve you been? You missed out on the best of fun yesterday!”

“Hyuck told us he was busy, Haeun,” Sehyun said. She was covered with a blanket, sitting on a mattress on the floor, knees drawn under her. She smiled brightly and gave him a little wave.

“Oh,” Mark said, and his eyes trailed over to Donghyuck.

When he’d entered, Mark had caught him sticking his tongue out at Haeun, but he’d since straightened his back, and the surprise on his face had been replaced with an entirely blank expression. It seemed he’d been kind enough not to tell the girls the true reason he’d missed their arrival.

“Yeah, the shop was super busy yesterday. Lots more clients than your average day.”

Not a lie, per se.

“And? What about today?” Donghyuck said. His voice sounded so unaffected, Mark might have attributed it to an older version of Donghyuck, one he’d previously not been able to get through to. He had to hold back a wince.

“Dunno. Might be the same. But I told the guys I had something more important to take care of for the day.” Taeyong would have pushed him towards Funky Pluckers had he not, anyway. Might have enlisted Ten’s help, too. Probably the others’, if it had come to it. “If, you know, you’ll have me?”

“I think that’s the sort of question that’s not entitled to an answer,” Sehyun chided.

“Well said, sis,” Haeun said, categorically.

But Mark was hoping for someone else’s agreement. Donghyuck watched him for a moment, two, completely impassive save for the slight raise of his eyebrow, then shrugged and switched to a smile.

“We were just deciding where to go, so you’re right on time,” he said simply.

“You mean you were _arguing_ with Haeun about where to go,” Sehyun said. She turned to Mark as if begging for an ally. “They’ve been at it for half an hour. Haeun wants to visit a natural history museum, Hyuck’s sick of museums-”

“Hey! We went to like four yesterday, do you want us to do that forever-"

“What did you suggest, then?” Mark asked, mostly to appease Donghyuck.

“He was talking about this organised treasure hunt thing,” Haeun answered instead, in a tone that indicated she could have yawned at the blandness of the idea. It was amusing how much museums appealed to her, yet she couldn’t even stand the thought of searching for treasure around a city she’d been dying to explore for years. Still, she did have a point.

Mark squinted at Donghyuck. “That’s... kinda uninspired. Especially for you.”

Donghyuck scoffed. “That was just a random suggestion since Haeun refused everything else. You’re so picky, sis. Not even Mark’s that fussy.” And he caught Mark’s eyes, confident grin firmly in place, as if to test his patience. After how insufferable he’d been, Mark supposed he’d earned the teasing. “He’s actually a lot more open to my ideas, nowadays. Aren’t you, Mark?”

“Then how about you’re open to one of mine, for a change?” Mark challenged. The girls piqued up, intrigued. “I think I have just the place.”

“An amusement park! What a lovely idea,” Sehyun exclaimed.

“And so much prettier than the one back home!” Haeun said, eyeing the diverse collection of roller coasters in the distance appreciatively. Then she broke into a grin, grabbed Mark’s hand and high fived him. “We’ll have you in charge of choosing places to go to from now on.”

“Mark? In charge of the fun itinerary?” Donghyuck laughed, though not mockingly. Honestly, Mark found it no less funny.

“We’d best leave it to Hyuck,” he said. “But I can throw in some ideas if he’s ever running short.”

“In your dreams, Mark. My imagination knows no limits.”

Haeun broke into a fake coughing fit, saying “Treasure hunt?”

When the two started bickering, Mark and Sehyun exchanged a look of mutual endearment. The playful back-and-forth continued as they quickly scouted the premises to see all the attractions before deciding on one, so Mark turned his line of sight entirely on Sehyun.

As always, she appeared older than she was, but now looked so much more carefree, watching all the laughing children with a small, contented smile. Donghyuck had told him their father was still (unsurprisingly) not thrilled about her decision, but at his wife’s insistence, he kept the dissent to a minimum. Mark was pretty sure that, unless Mr Lee had become a different person overnight, the occasional derisive comments couldn’t have stopped, but they were no longer holding Sehyun back from her dream. On her and Donghyuck’s calls, she’d repeatedly expressed how delighted she was with her classes and how ecstatic to have met like-minded people. She deserved every good thing coming her way.

“Your new haircut suits you, Sehyun,” he said. Her once straight, waist-length black hair was now styled in a short, elegant bob. Sehyun blushed, pushing some loose strands behind her ear.

“Thanks, Mark. I thought, since I’m in uni now, a change was in order. I couldn’t really commit to dyeing it, so... I found a compromise.”

“A very pretty one. Kind, intelligent and beautiful - I reckon you’ve already stolen everyone’s hearts?”

Sehyun slapped his arm lightly, making him chuckle.

“You sound exactly like Hyuck,” she accused friskily. “Relationships aren’t something I’m actively looking for. I wouldn’t mind finding someone special, but there are other things I’m more focused on right now. It’s not like friendships aren’t just as important. And you can’t force love, can you? Feelings have a mind of their own.”

“True... You really can’t,” Mark said, aware he’d hardly planned _his_ feelings, nor was he anywhere near able to repress them.

By chance, he glanced Donghyuck’s way and found the younger seemed to be listening in on their conversation. When their eyes met, Donghyuck’s gaze instantly flickered away. At this rate, how could he bring up their situation or try to make amends? Would an apology even change anything? Right all the wrongs? He could try gather his strength while the sisters were with them.

A monumental roller coaster stood before them, by far the biggest attraction there, both in size and in terms of popularity, given the number of people queuing even so early in the morning. Mark felt foreboding lodged firmly in his chest at the sight.

“That one!” Haeun said, validating his fear. “We should start big, right?”

A buzz of agreement followed, so Mark had no choice but to comply.

“I’ll go get us tickets. Wait here with them, yeah?” Donghyuck said. The apprehension in his eyes (the one when he looked at Mark) seemed to have finally receded.

Mark quickly reached for his wallet and handed it to Donghyuck. “I brought you here, right? My treat.”

“It’s cool, I’ll-” he began, trying to return it, but Mark moved out of reach.

“No, go for it. Whatever rides the girls want. I want you to have a great time visiting.”

Haeun instantly brightened up, going ‘Aww’, but Donghyuck continued watching him with that distant expression, a cross between impressed and disarmed. Mark wasn’t doing this in the hopes of erasing his mistakes (not like he could, anyway). He genuinely wanted the siblings to have a memorable reunion. Wanted Donghyuck to enjoy the time spent with them to the fullest.

Finally, Donghyuck let out a short chuckle and left.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Sehyun said. “We’re just glad you could join us this time.”

Haeun chose a more practical approach and engulfed him in a quick hug - her way of saying ‘thank you’.

Maybe having siblings was indeed as great as Donghyuck said. He couldn’t find it in himself to be jealous, though, when a brotherly feeling filled him every time he was with them. 

“You liked your first day here?” he asked Haeun as they waited.

“It’s amazing! I’m totally coming here to study. Not just to pester Hyuck, like Sehyun says.” She stuck her tongue out at the older girl. “There’s so much to do! And it’s teeming with people!”

Mark laughed. Yes, it did seem like her sort of place.

“So you’ve already decided what you want to study?”

“Pffft! I’ll figure it out. There’s still plenty of time left. Something related to animals, maybe. Or geography. Archaeology? I’m kinda into fashion design too.” She made a gesture of indifference. “I’m not stressing out about it yet. Might even skip uni for a few years. Or for good! Did you know there’s all these charities you can volunteer for? You’d be helping so many people and getting to know a lot of different cultures in the process! There’s so many possibilities!”

Though it was great knowing she had such a diverse array of interests, what Mark most appreciated was hearing how breezily she spoke of her future. She hardly seemed bothered by her parents’ opinions (as, naturally, most of her dreams would’ve sounded like blasphemy to Mr Lee) and sounded so sure of herself. It drew a smile to his lips, and he was sure she had a bright future ahead of her regardless of what he’d choose.

Soon, however, the dreaded moment arrived.

The last time Mark had been in a roller coaster was, if he even remembered correctly, nearly a decade ago. Roller coasters were fun - that is, in the event you liked torturing yourself. Given he’d brought the siblings here of his own volition, it could well be said that he did.

Of course, he hadn’t thought (though he should have expected it) Haeun would choose the tallest, longest, evidently most dangerous attraction so early on in their adventure. He’d have preferred she’d not chosen it at all.

Never mind. He’d pull through. Heights meant nothing to him. Why would they? Why would he bat an eyelash at the unnatural distance between him and the ground, a hard, potentially fatal piece of terrain? What cause for worry was there? It’s not like something could go mortally wrong, causing everything to come crashing down - quite literally, at that. Heights were perfectly fine. They didn’t remind him of the human race’s, and his own evanescence, did they?

The girls took the front seats, and (since fate had humour) he wound up behind them, seated next to Donghyuck. 

“It’s my hundredth ride and still I get nervous before it starts,” Sehyun said, throwing them an enthusiastic look.

“What would a roller coaster ride be without the anticipation? That’s the best part!” Donghyuck said. Anticipation? The adequate word was dread. But Donghyuck turned towards Mark, expression brightened by said ‘anticipation’, and asked, “Ready?”

Donghyuck was more likely to be the end of him than any roller coaster ever created. 

“...Guess so, yeah.”

Everything was alright, honestly - they _were_ going higher, and higher, and _higher_ , and sure, Mark knew that meant an incredibly steep slope would follow, but for the time being all was exceptionally normal. Until they were falling at such speed that everything started spinning.

A few screams escaped him, given the way the speed decreased and increased unexpectedly, as well as all the turns, inversions and loops. He pressed himself into his seat, head falling back, face almost entirely scrunched up in fear. Upon reflex, he also clutched the first thing he could - which was Donghyuck’s hand.

He was probably squeezing harder than necessary, but, even with the rush of adrenaline the ride had awoken in him, he could feel Donghyuck grip was just as strong, and it soothed him almost on command. Scary turns be damned, Mark hadn’t felt steadier or more at ease in weeks.

When it ended, Mark took a shaky breath, unsure whether to laugh (because it had been fun, in spite of - or as a result of - all the discomfort; that’s how roller coasters worked, apparently) or thank the Maker it was over. From in front of them, Haeun was cheering (she’d laughed the entire ride, surpassing even her brother), but for a tortuous moment, Mark turned towards Donghyuck, and Donghyuck turned towards him, and Mark could feel their clasped hands resting between them, just as tightly intertwined as if they were still facing an extreme turn.

What’s the speed with which a meteor falls? Because he felt his heart rate had exceeded it.

“Oh, uh,” he began, voice rasp, “Sorry.”

Donghyuck laughed, in that don’t-be-silly sort of way, and gave his hand another squeeze, expression warm for a moment, unconcerned, the way it had used to be when they were together, no sign of the effects Mark’s mistakes had left. Because of this alone, he could forgive roller coasters their many sins.

With one more look at his hands, memories of tangled limbs and light tickles and warm embraces flooded his mind, nights of being together in the simplest, purest way, and longing engulfed him like never before.

“Can we go again? We have to go again!” Haeun exclaimed in delight the very moment they stepped off the roller coaster, to Mark’s horror. Once had been… mildly fun, but twice? Twice would probably turn all his insides the wrong way. Aside from the possibility of holding Donghyuck’s hand again, the idea was not even minutely appealing.

Sehyun agreed and Donghyuck gave a victorious I-taught-you-well laugh. But he then looked Mark’s way, and though Mark didn’t say anything, when he returned from the ticket booth, he was holding two tickets less.

“You two go,” he said, passing them to Sehyun. 

“You’re not coming?” Haeun asked, visibly surprised.

“Nah. One ride was enough for me. Promise you’ll have double the fun to make up for it, yeah?”

Haeun took this very seriously and joined the queue, followed closely by Sehyun. Instead of thanks, Mark shot him a bashful smile, which Donghyuck shrugged off by cocking his head to the side and faking a confused expression. Typical.

As the girls got in again, waving energetically down at them, Mark returned the gesture, and a large smile spread on his face. He knew it would never match how bright Sehyun’s and Haeun’s were. 

“And here I thought they were my sisters and not yours?”

Glancing his way, Mark found that Donghyuck's half-teasing, half-serious tone was matched by his smart smile, as he leaned against an iron railing, arms crossed. Mark crimsoned, eyes lowering to his feet. When Donghyuck said those words, they sounded more like a joke, losing the bite with which Mark had uttered them the day before.

“Hyuck... I... I keep saying the most idiotic things,” he croaked.

“Mmm.”

“No, really. I don’t…” His words died in his throat, replaced by a gulp. They were doing this, then? He fiddled with the stem of his t-shirt, as he tried to figure out what he could say that wouldn’t come across as empty words. “I’ve been treating you unfairly, for no reason. What I said... I honestly didn’t mean it. I mean none of those things, they just come out and…”

“I’ve noticed,” Donghyuck said, a small smile dancing on his lips. “Oh, what if I try to take a photo of that first drop? I’ve got the best angle.”

And he lifted his camera (the one Johnny had lent him), zoomed in, preparing for the roller coaster to approach so he could take a photo of the girls as they experienced the slope. 

“I’ve been horrible, and I know I have no excuse- I... I wanted you to have fun with your sisters, without me intruding. You missed each other, and I thought I’d somehow manage to ruin that too.”

Donghyuck’s eyes returned to him, gentle yet firm.

“They missed _you_ too, you know. You’re pretty much part of the family now, like it or not. Don’t think you have much of a say when Haeun adores you as much as she does.”

Mark’s shoulders slumped. “I know, it’s not that, I-”

“And I _wanted_ you there. You’d never intrude, or ruin anything. My sisters are important to me, but…” He shrugged defensively. “So are you.”

So are you. Guilt devoured Mark whole. 

“I’m-” 

“There!” Donghyuck cheered, lowering the camera with a satisfied grin. He stared at the small screen, on which Mark could just barely make out the two sisters, screaming, hands thrown in the air. “Now this’ll be a photo to remember.”

“Hyuck…” Mark said, feeling deflated. He knew he had no right to demand Donghyuck to listen to him, but the least he could do was apologise.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck’s grin dwindled to a more affectionate curl of the lips as he turned back to Mark, and the corners of his eyes, in which glistened the amber shade of his hair, softened. For a second, it seemed to Mark that, except for the boy in front of him, the world stopped. He’d never seen anything more breathtaking than Donghyuck in front of a backdrop of colourful rides, standing out far more than them even in the simple denim jacket he was wearing. His hair had grown longer, almost a mullet at that point, falling prettily in loosely styled curls upon his bare face. 

It was so easy to get lost just staring at him, especially when he stared right back as if Mark was the most endearing person he’d ever met.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Donghyuck whispered. “I’m not blaming you. I’m not angry. I’m just worried, Mark.”

Huh?

“What? Why?”

Donghyuck looked away, eyes downcast. “Because I know this isn’t you. Something’s bothering you, and you’re pushing me away, and I’m worried. I don’t want you to be struggling on your own.”

There was around half a metre between them at best, but emotionally, Mark felt he’d unintentionally doubled the distance.

“Did you think you’re the only one to worry?... _I_ worry. You tell me I don’t have to be so independent all the time but neither do you. I’m not asking you to do something if you’re not comfortable with it. But you’ve been there for me time and again; you deserve to have someone there for you too. Whether that’s me or someone else.”

Mark nibbled at his lips, knowing for a fact that hearing Donghyuck’s concern and affection hurt much more than if he’d begun complaining or blaming him. He’d at least deserve that. But this?

“But I’m also worried you’re like this because of me. Worried it means we’re, I don’t know... drifting apart or something. Losing what we have. That... you don’t care as you once did, I suppose.”

Could the earth truly swallow you whole, if you wished hard enough? Because Mark hoped the ground beneath him might do just that.

“But if it is that, you - you can tell me, yeah? I’m not saying I’d be happy, but I’d rather I knew than you having to tiptoe around me, pretending to-”

“Hyuck, no,” Mark said, bridging the distance between them by stepping in front of the younger. “No, absolutely not.”

Donghyuck looked mildly startled by his fervour, one hand gripping the railing to steady himself.

“Okay…? Relax, I didn’t mean for it to be that serious, it was just a thought-”

“I know, and it’s my fault you’d even think that,” Mark cut in. “God, I am so stupid.”

He closed his eyes in frustration. Imagine making your best friend think you no longer cared about him as much as you once had, only because, and here’s the irony, you’d began caring more, merely in a different manner. Apparently, Mark didn’t have to imagine.

“Whatever I’ve done, I promise it’s not because of that. It’s not you, either. It’s simply…” It’s that I like you so much my entire day is made just by seeing you smile. That I like you so much even the thought of you hurting feels like a punch to the chest. That liking you is frightening, because I’ve never felt this way before, but also magical, because you’ve changed everything, brought life the sort of colour I never knew it could have.

“Mark, it’s alright-”

Mark shook his head and, impulsively, grabbed Donghyuck’s hand. There were no speedy drops or ups and downs, no adrenaline to speak of, but his heart had to be pounding no less intensely than earlier.

“I promise that’s not it, okay? I don’t care about you any less. I couldn’t ever care about you any less. You... Ha. You make it really hard not to care about you.”

Surprise was etched onto Donghyuck’s features. Slowly, he pulled his lip between his teeth. It didn’t seem like a conscious action.

“Why ‘couldn’t ever’? Ever’s a long time, Mark. What makes you say that?”

Mark rubbed his arm idly as he looked down at Donghyuck, who seemed smaller, sitting against that rail. Foolish, but all he could think about was that he hadn’t been this close to him in far longer than he should have, and even longer than he would have liked.

“A, uh... hunch?”

“Hunches are usually caused by something. A past experience, certain knowledge, a belief, a... feeling,” Donghyuck whispered. There was an edge to his voice that sounded almost flirtatious, and Mark’s heart shrunk infinitely at the possibility. “So why never?”

“Because... Hyuck, I only seem to care more about you.”

Mark wasn’t even fully aware of what he’d said, or how they’d reached this point after such a serious conversation. How could he be, when their eyes seemed to be locked together by an invisible string that wasn’t allowing them to look away? He’d said this a million times, but Donghyuck had the most mesmerising eyes. It was perfectly realistic to assume he’d one day be so utterly hypnotised by them that he’d blurt his feelings aloud without even realising.

“Only more?” Hyuck mumbled. What was that gentle emotion plastered on his face? “Funny, but so do I, Markles.”

And this is precisely why he’d been keeping his distance. When Donghyuck said things like that, muttered that personal nickname so, in that half-whisper, Mark...

Mark’s eyes somehow found their way to Donghyuck’s lips, of their own accord, in time to see them part minutely. Frantically, he glanced back up, but was no longer met by Donghyuck’s gaze. He seemed concentrated on something else, lower, seemingly just as enticed by the shape of Mark’s lips as he was. Could he be...?

Steered by something stronger than his own will, Mark inclined his head closer and closer, until he could feel Donghyuck’s warm breath on his face, and goodness, their lips were seconds, fractions of seconds away from touching. He could practically feel them already.

Until he ducked, turning his head to the side so violently his fringe bounced with the movement.

“We should, uh,” he said, clearing his throat, squeezing his eyes shut to sink into the abyss. “The girls. They should be done by now.”

“Yeah. The girls, sure,” Donghyuck choked out. He sounded rather breathless.

Once they’d broken apart, Mark chanced a look at him. His ears had turned bright red, but he was doing a better job than Mark at keeping still and not giving away how mortified he was. Aside from the fact that he was avoiding Mark’s eyes, his expression couldn’t have betrayed discomfort to the average person.

Mark spun around hastily, realising that not only was what he had been about to do potentially suicide, but also that they were in an amusement park, surrounded by people. _Children_. That Donghyuck’s sisters were in the area, too. God, did he have no self-control?

Speaking of, where were they? Their ride must have ended, so where were they?

They set out in a hurry to look for them, one panic replaced by another.

Mark couldn’t understand what had come over him. Donghyuck was... God, Donghyuck was the brightest star in the galaxy, and every time he got too close, smiled too prettily, Mark had the desire to lean in and forget about everything else. But this was new, in that yes, the urge was there, but he’d never acted on it. He couldn’t even have dreamt of truly doing such a thing. Near confessions were dangerous enough, but this was beyond that - it meant forcing Donghyuck into something he might not have wanted, overstepping every single boundary he could think of, taking advantage of their trust. So what had happened to that, to everything he knew?

And why had Donghyuck not pushed him away?

It seemed that other than hurting them both, distance had also only made Mark even less adept at handling his feelings, even more drawn to Donghyuck. An endless cycle.

But did that mean Donghyuck was experiencing the same struggle as him? Or had he just missed Mark and let himself get lost in that, for a moment?

“Sehyun! Why on earth did you up and leave without a word?” Donghyuck said after they’d jogged to a nearby candy floss cart where the sisters were queuing.

The girl had the grace to blush. “It seemed you two were in the middle of a serious conversation. I thought we could wait for you with some candy floss.”

Reiterating: could the ground please part and drag Mark under? Anything to spare him this suffering. He’d easily pick hot magma over the image of Sehyun witnessing virtually any part of their ‘serious’ conversation. Seeing as she was wearing a benign smile, Mark prayed the ride had ended before... all _that_.

“We only needed to get some stale air out the way,” Donghyuck said, voice blissfully even. His ears hadn’t returned to their usual colour, though.

Certainly, yes. That was exactly what they’d been doing. Mark could go with that - his nerves might appreciate him for it, in any event.

“You don’t say?” Haeun began, voice laced with mischief, “Because I never knew there was ‘stale air’ between me and Jaewan when he leans in to--”

“Haeun!” Sehyun squealed. At once, she shoved the piece of cotton floss she’d torn for herself in Haeun’s mouth, and the stream of words halted. Then they’d both seen - or intuited - enough as to haunt Mark forever.

He was utterly, horribly doomed. There was literally no way he could avoid Donghyuck asking him to explain what he’d been about to do, at some point.

Donghyuck seemed just as stupefied as him, but he shook his head and laid a hand on Haeun’s head, taking on a concerned brother type of attitude. “Tsk tsk, I just have to meet this Jaewan of yours. Look at you, can’t go half a day without bringing him up, at the most random times too-”

“Just because _you_ don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean-”

“What are you-”

Sehyun, ever the peacemaker, stepped in to diffuse the tension. “Enough, you doofuses. Hyuck, Haeun’s a decade younger than you, but you could be twins, for all anyone who sees how you’re acting will know,” she chastised. “Eat your candy floss and then let’s try out more of the stuff around here.”

But candy floss was inconsequential at the moment. Haeun had been teasing, yes, but... boyfriend? Perhaps a simple slip, given what they were talking about, but she could’ve easily said girlfriend and it would’ve been a good jab in its own right. Unless the joke about him liking guys touched a sensitive spot - or unless it wasn’t a joke.

Earlier, it’s not like he’d been the only guilty one, had he? Though, well… they’d been apart for so long, it had been ages since they’d had an honest, vulnerable conversation - maybe that was just getting to their heads. There was no guarantee Donghyuck wouldn’t have regretted the kiss the moment it happened.

But Haeun had said boyfriend so casually... Donghyuck hadn’t even seemed phased... What if...?

Mark couldn’t consider another ‘what if’ if his life depended on it. He chased every painful thought away and forced himself to focus on the present, tangible circumstances. Rode the merry-go-round, stared in awe from high up in the Ferris wheel (the one instance he could suppress his hostility towards heights), even won a small toy giraffe, which he then gifted Haeun. He would have given it to Donghyuck, but he was on thin ice as it was. 

But it was stupid, because though he was pointedly avoiding looking in his direction, Donghyuck had somehow spotted the exact moment Mark stumbled over his feet and nearly fell from the merry-go-round. He immediately steadied him from behind, both hands pressed firmly to his sides. He kept one of them on his waist for the rest of the ride, saying he needed to make sure Mark wouldn’t meet his end on one of the most beloved amusement rides and taint its reputation forever. And it was even more stupid that they both ended up laughing about it, and it was like the bottled up frustration and embarrassment melted away, the awkwardness dissipated, and Donghyuck did look at him, Mark looked back, and it was… okay.

The rest of the day continued in the same way, though Donghyuck still watched him at times, to convince himself he had no reason to worry, that Mark wasn’t lying again, that he was okay this time around.

How ridiculous, really, because this was the last way two best friends who’d been on the verge of kissing were supposed to be acting. But Donghyuck didn’t seem nearly as angry as he had reason to, nor nearly as upset as he’d been the night of the performance. If he was willing to overlook a kiss, then that night, Mark’s inability to disguise his feelings couldn’t have been the problem. So... what else? What was at the root of everything that had since taken place? What piece of this insanely intricate puzzle that he and Donghyuck were was Mark missing?

And why, against all logic, had it felt so right to lean in to kiss Donghyuck? More importantly, why was there a part of him that had suddenly started to believe that, were he to try it again… Donghyuck might not actually mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since the better half of this story is about being honest and vulnerable, and since mark's failing remarkably at that for the time being, here's my contribution: it literally took me about five centuries to write this chapter and part of the next one :') 
> 
> okay, not quite _thaaaat_ long, but I did struggle with it for... much longer than I'd like to admit. the perfectionist in me had it out for me this time around - I literally have three or four versions of this chapter, rip. I was so very critical of everything. yikes. nonetheless, I did love writing it (and all its alternate versions pffft), I care about this story a lot <3 but aaah I really hope you enjoyed it still...!! I'll probably be posting the next one in a couple days ^^
> 
> also: let's please have a moment of silence to commend mark for his short-lived courage, he **actually** almost kissed hyuck, unbelievable but outstanding! but then he also did... everything else... goodness. though it was for what he thought were the right reasons, so :(


	13. Chapter 13

If once the days had passed by too slowly, as the four of them enjoyed their time together, they all but evaporated into thin air. As expected, Haeun and Sehyun were a pleasure to be around, especially now that there was no longer anyone to taint their fun. Not even Mark’s feelings could get in the way, not when faced with the girls’ enthusiasm or their strong bond with their brother. Every day was more heart-warming than the one before, and it was a pity that the visit only lasted a week. Even though, throughout it, Mark had had to juggle both working and making time to join them (as they’d insisted they’d love for him to), which proved more challenging than anticipated, how could that bother him? If anything, he felt only re-energised.

But the visit also stirred certain feelings, certain ideas inside Mark - conflicting ones.

Now that they were together again, no walls drawn, no dishonest claims of being ‘fine’, no guilt lacing every single action, he noticed… little things, here and there, which both further puzzled him and managed to clarify his thoughts - somewhat, at least.

He noticed that, once they cleared the air, Donghyuck was simply content to have him by his side again and to leave everything else behind them, grateful that their friendship had regained some normality. He noticed how Donghyuck’s touch lingered, almost unconsciously, how if they embraced, he seemed unwilling to pull away. Noticed how flustered he also looked when Haeun teased them (as she seemed adamant to continue doing so), how, despite skillfully changing the subject, he never denied any of her claims. 

Then there were moments, the most innocent of moments, which made him start to see everything in a different light: when their hands accidentally touched; when they casually helped the other if a word didn’t come to mind; when they seemed unable to look away, or even when they spoke in a bantering tone for minutes on end, nearly immune to the outside world, save for the sisters. In these moments, there was something different about Donghyuck, something softer, which he hadn’t noticed before. 

No… Mark wasn’t the only one who visibly gravitated towards the other, nor the only one who broke into a smile upon gazing in the other’s direction.

For someone who was supposedly ‘hurt’ by being around him, Donghyuck sure smiled a great deal because of him. Not just now, but ever since they’d become friends.

For someone who was supposedly hurting, he spent more time with him than with anyone else, smiled the same amount throughout, his joy never once waning. He was always happy-go-lucky, but alongside Mark… it was never strained, it never seemed like an act. And that was just it, he never had to pretend, no matter what. If he was upset about something, Mark would not only notice, but Donghyuck wouldn’t hesitate to tell him. He’d become more open about his feelings and thoughts, all the more so with Mark. So why was tipsy-Donghyuck the only Donghyuck who’d felt comfortable enough to reveal this big secret of his (how much more he’d been hurting since Mark had come into his life)? The same person who’d then tried to convince Mark to express his concerns, even if the truth were to hurt?

It was a more mature line of thought than his usual musings. A concept he’d discarded rather easily in the past, but which maybe, just maybe, warranted further consideration.

This idea - or foolish hope, as he liked to call it - had been muzzled from its very foundation the minute Donghyuck had voiced his feelings. But he’d started reconsidering its verity; wasn’t Donghyuck acting too much like himself than could be considered a coincidence?

All this could’ve merely been a figment of his imagination, yes. But what if it wasn’t? What if someone could prove him right?

“It was great seeing you again, Mark,” Sehyun said, as she got up on her tiptoes and hugged him warmly. It was hours before they were to take the bus back home, after an unforgettable week with their brother - and Mark. “If you’re ever in York, you have to give me a call! I’ll give you a tour. Promise you will?”

“Promise,” he said.

Sehyun matched his smile - only, while his was hesitant, hers was practically glowing.

She rested a hand on his arm and stepped closer, so the other two couldn’t overhear. “But are you alright? You’ve been a bit on edge. Did you want to talk to me about something?”

He swallowed hard, rubbed his forearm. Perhaps he’d been lucky his body language had given him away. Otherwise, he might’ve cowered at the very last moment and the opportunity would’ve slipped between his fingers.

“Actually, I…”

He looked towards Donghyuck, who was still helping Haeun pack all the bits and bobs he’d got her (simple souvenirs, stationary, some video games, various small things she’d shown an interest in). He also spotted the little giraffe he’d won at the amusement park, discarded next to her suitcase. They’d probably be a while.

He pulled Sehyun aside, to a far corner of the hallway.

“Sehyun, listen. I know this is gonna sound ridiculous, but I was wondering if, um... that is, how Hyuck might react if he heard something like... like a confession? A romantic confession. From… a friend?”

The girl’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“A confession from a friend?” Her smile grew warmer. “As in, from you?”

Mark’s face fell. This was an awful idea. Horrendous. Asking Donghyuck’s younger sister of all people for love advice about her _brother_? He’d have been safer asking Johnny. Why did he think this would work?

“Mark, whether this is about Hyuck or not, whatever you have to say stays between us. You trust I won’t mention this to him, I hope,” she said, an amused tone to her voice.

Sehyun _was_ Donghyuck’s sister, so as a family rule, Mark could’ve believed she’d go running to tell him everything. But, even had they not become friends, it was impossible not to tell how trustworthy she was. Donghyuck would never hear of this from her. He had nothing to fear.

Besides, if he wanted her advice, he’d have to be honest. He couldn’t ask for more than he was willing to offer. And if he could tell a third party, then perhaps (if he’d ever even manage to convince himself to do it) telling Donghyuck would feel less like a piano dropping on his head and more like, say, a cello.

“Yeah,” he admitted, the first time out loud, “that’s… pretty spot on. It would be my confession.”

“Mhm,” she said, apparently holding back laughter. To his credit, Mark managed not to melt into the carpet or run away out of pure embarrassment. He just stared blankly, trying to wrap his head around her reaction.

“Mhm…?”

“I’m sorry, that was the least comforting to say!” Sehyun rushed in panic, halfway between genuine mortification and lingering enjoyment. “But it was pretty obvious, and, ah… It’s endearing, how shy you’re being.”

Horror flooded every inch of Mark’s body.

“Wait, obvious? So Hyuck knows?”

“No, no! Or... goodness knows. But this is a big step, Mark! To want to tell him.”

“I don’t-- I mean... Can I? Should I?”

Sehyun tilted her head to the side. “Why shouldn’t you?”

“Because- Sehyun, there’s like a dozen reason why not. No, more than a dozen. Just, what if... what if he’ll think badly of me? We’re both guys too, so maybe-”

At this, Sehyun chuckled in disbelief. “Wait, Mark. This isn’t very becoming of a future psychologist, but never mind. It’s you and Hyuck so we’ll take the less serious route. You’re worried my brother might have a problem with you being a guy?”

This conversation was truly keeping Mark on his toes, he could give it that.

“Uh… It’s one of the problems?”

“I promise it’s not! You really shouldn’t hear about this from anyone but him, but let’s just say he’s the last person who’d have a problem with that. The last, quite possibly the last.”

The last person to have a problem with... Wait. The words seemed to shake the foundation of everything Mark thought he knew.

“Hyuck likes guys?” he said, and though he’d not meant to whisper, his voice was barely audible.

Sehyun made a gesture of desperation. “I thought he’d have told you! I mean, you’re-- I see why not, but this is just- absurd- How could you know if... You two are unbelievable! Okay. Goodness. Mark, that’s not an issue, so let’s leave it behind us. Why else do you think you shouldn’t tell him?”

Mark was still so dumbstruck about what he’d heard that he had no idea how to word any of his other concerns.

“I... Because, uh... He’s? I’m- I mean, wouldn’t that just change, no, ruin everything? I don’t- There’s no guarantee he feels the same, and if not, it’ll... I don’t know, Sehyun--”

“Mark, I can’t make this decision for you, if that’s what you’re asking. My advice is for you to be honest with yourself. You’re afraid - I get it. You don’t want to lose what you two have now. But I want you to put away the fear, stop overthinking, and just consider the way Hyuck’s been acting towards you.”

A sigh escaped Mark. It felt as if his ribs were pressing against his heart with sad apprehension.

“I did think about that, but-”

“I can tell you one thing, but it’s up to you to interpret it,” Sehyun interrupted again. “Remember your birthday last year? I’m assuming you don’t know the whole story. The week before the party, Hyuck was needed in fifty places at once, to say the least. I know Johnny and… Ten, right? told him to work at only one shop while he was preparing the surprise. But he never did, did he? He worked at both, all week long.”

Indeed, Mark clearly remembered Donghyuck had only missed one workday: on Mark’s birthday.

“He kept telling me his ideas and asking for suggestions. When he wasn’t running around during lunch breaks to ask around about cakes or look for decorations, planning all the little details, from food to music to what everyone’s role would be, he was working on the terrarium! And those bracelets of yours? My brother’s amazing at a lot of things, but, well,” she laughed, “turns out he’s terrible at making bracelets. He had to try night after night after night... poor thing! I nearly looked into it myself, but he got them right eventually. He couldn’t shut up about it, that’s how excited he was to finish them. But he barely slept that week because of it.”

He... hadn’t?

Mark blinked and his lips parted, as though he was in the face of some deeper truth that was unfolding before him.

“And yet, did you ever see him even slightly weary? I bet he wasn’t. Physically he must’ve been drained, but every time he called - and he did a lot, to get a second opinion on everything - he only sounded ecstatic. I’ve never seen him, or anyone really, so happy merely to do something for someone, at the expense of their well-being. He was even happier when everything went according to plan and you enjoyed yourself. He poured his heart into it. I think you could tell.”

Even though he hadn’t been aware of all the details, Mark had noticed the amount of genuine care with which Donghyuck had handled everything. His mother did like to say that all good things were done with true enthusiasm.

“Since you know that now, why not look at everything he’s done for you since in that way? All the times he put you first without a second thought. How he never complains if it’s you. How happy he is to do anything for you, or just be with you. Every time you’re happy, like that’s enough.”

All the guitar lessons, all the extra work Donghyuck had taken upon himself, only to help him get over an old fear, so much so that the past few months he’d mostly dedicated to Mark. Each gift, as though it brought him the biggest joy to simply give, ensure his happiness. How he smiled only if Mark was, was as proud of his accomplishments as if they were his own.

Mark had to strain for the next words to come. For a second there, he didn’t quite feel in control of his body.

“So you’re saying-”

“I’m not. I’m only offering some food for thought - the rest is up to you.” She smiled, pleasant and sweet. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s you. Sometimes things just fall into place; I think this is like that.”

Before he could say anything else, she started towards Donghyuck’s room.

“Come on. Wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea, right? You both already seem determined to make things harder than they need to be.”

Mark stumbled after her, somehow more drained than he’d been in days. Something was battling inside him, begging to break free, but for now, the only thing he could feel was the thudding of his heart in his chest. As he entered the room, his eyes were instantly drawn to Donghyuck - and for a second, he truly felt that Donghyuck’s eyes were instantly drawn to him as well.

“Done packing?” Sehyun asked, kneeling beside the open suitcase and checking that everything was in order. “You got her so many things, Hyuck, what’ll she do with them? Wait - what’s this?”

Haeun snatched the small elephant-shaped toy Sehyun had found and nestled it in her arms. “It’s a squeaky toy for Peanut!”

Sehyun threw Donghyuck a mildly admonishing look and then directed it towards Haeun.

“It’ll be a miracle if dad’ll actually let you keep him, at this rate.”

“Eh, I can convince him to let him stay again. He doesn’t even really see him anyway, he’s always busy,” Haeun said, huffing. “And mum’s real fond of him too. He even slept next to her once. Dad didn’t stop complaining about ‘dogs not being allowed in beds’ for like a week after. Doesn’t stop Peanut from sleeping with me every night, though. I don’t think he cares much about dad’s tantrums.”

“I’d tell you to sneak him in his room again, just to see his reaction... but then, I’m sure father’d personally abandon him at the edge of a forest somewhere if you did,” Donghyuck said, somewhat bitterly. Though he did say he’d moved on, there were still times when sour memories resurfaced. Old wounds are, after all, rarely easily healed. “But there are other ways to--”

Sehyun gave him a light slap on the wrist. “More of your ideas? She has enough of her own.” She sighed, but there was endearment in her eyes. “Not even your influence will ever change this one, Mark.”

“I wouldn’t want it to,” Mark said at once. Fear, inner conflicts, Sehyun’s cryptic advice - when it came to this, they hardly mattered. This he’d never hesitate to remind him. “He’s everything he needs to be. He should never feel he needs to change. He’s... special. Just the way he is.”

Donghyuck regarded him curiously, blinks slowed by surprise, but his lips held the most beautiful smile. Mark would continue to tell him so until there was no more surprise upon hearing it - until only the smile remained.

“You know, Mark,” Haeun began, walking up to him. Her voice was shaky with emotion, unlike he’d heard it before. “I think meeting you was one of the luckiest things to happen to Hyuck. And I... Argh, I can’t believe what cheesy nonsense this is. I’m glad we met you too. I guess I’ll miss you as much as him.”

Even if he’d been warned ahead of time, the words would have still taken him by surprise. He smiled and, this time, didn’t stop himself from ruffling her hair.

“I’ll miss you too, Haeun. We’ll keep in touch, yeah? I’ll send photos of Sissi, you send us photos of Peanut. Just… don’t turn him into as much of a rebel as you, if you can,” he joked.

Haeun playfully punched him in the shoulder but hugged him before he could even register the pain.

“For the record... I think meeting Hyuck was one of the luckiest things that’ve happened to me too,” he whispered, for Haeun’s ears only. She mumbled something along the lines of ‘Naturally’ and only squeezed harder.

“Next time you visit, how about you crash at Mark’s place? Seems you’ve replaced me anyway,” Donghyuck said from behind them, drawing a snigger from the young girl.

“Jealous?” she said.

“As if! I’ve got Sehyun-”

“Jealous of _me_ ,” Haeun said, with the same mischief as each time she insinuated... whatever she was insinuating, “Hugging Mark and all. And anyway, it’s not like you’ve got Sehyun either.”

Indeed, the older sister had since joined the hug with an amused, partially chastising ‘Oh, Hyuck’.

“You too, Sehyun? Outrageous! Never knew betrayal was contagious,” Donghyuck lamented. He pretended to wipe a tear from his cheek, even if the girls’ backs were turned to him and Mark was the only one who could see him.

Feeling a tingle of affection, Mark briefly untangled himself from the girls. He grabbed Donghyuck’s wrist and pulled him into the group hug. He came crashing into Mark’s side, rewarding him with an impressed look.

“Of course you wouldn’t have betrayed me, Markles,” Donghyuck said and, as his hands were both unavailable, he softly bopped their heads together. Mark’s nerves spiked. The flutters in his stomach crackled like a bonfire, on the very brink of flaring up and dragging him under.

“No, of course he--”

“Haeun,” Sehyun warned, though her tone was light, and she caught Mark’s eyes again. It was a question, more than anything.

Mark nodded. He’d think on what she’d said, once he was ready. Process everything. Assemble the scattered pieces of truth he’d collected. Reach a conclusion - whether one he’d have to begrudgingly accept or... Well, perhaps one he’d treasure.

\-- 

He woke up (too strong a word, given he’d tossed and turned all night) with such a knot in the pit of his stomach that he’d called in sick for the day. Unlike the kind of purely physical sickness he’d used as an excuse to avoid work, his was caused by something more… emotional.

He lay curled up in bed for hours, arm shielding his eyes from the strong light slipping in. When, at last, he opened one of them, he spotted the bracelet on his wrist. His heartbeat skyrocketed at the sight, feeling like it might jump right out of his chest, desert him and let him face his demise on his own.

God, alright. Everything… really, everything led to the same conclusion.

Sehyun’s advice, Haeun’s teasing; ‘Jealous of me, hugging Mark and all’; the would-be kiss, how it seemed Donghyuck didn’t have the slightest intention of confronting Mark about it. Little details in between - bashful smiles Mark had never seen directed at anyone else, comforting touches, sincere, vulnerable words that no longer pained him to say, the softness in his eyes whenever he looked at Mark nowadays. 

And, for the first time, it struck him that the one thing that had made him act so recklessly, so impulsively - that night, that confession - was shockingly pointing him in the very same direction. Perhaps the pain Mark was causing Donghyuck… was the same pain Donghyuck was causing _him_. The pain of hiding, pretending, suppressing feelings that had evolved too much to be easily stifled. The pain of uncertainty. Of not knowing how to handle the situation.

He’d also said something else, hadn’t he? Not just that he was hurting - but that, despite it, he was happy.

‘Easier or harder, you made it better. _Happier_. Only happier. Always happier.’ 

Reality seeped in like rainwater, drop after drop pattering in Mark’s heart, and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d breathed for the past couple of minutes. He was distinctively sure he felt like flying or falling headlong to the floor, with a feeling that hit a lot like finally understanding a complex equation, discovering it was easy all along when looked at the right way, and wanting to laugh in triumph and irritation both. 

He’d only ever read between the lines, never once looked at things as they were. In his heart of hearts, perhaps he’d always known, but had been too reluctant, too scared to view the facts objectively.

He couldn’t distinguish any noteworthy moment between throwing the covers off of himself and reaching the ground floor - all he knew was that he’d been running and skipping steps, as well as on the brink of tripping about three times before nearly crashing into Hendery.

“Woah, Mark, are you-” 

“Hendery. Where are the daisies?” Mark said, gripping one of Hendery’s shoulders forcefully. 

Hendery made an expression of worry, laced with partial repugnance. It might have been the fact that Mark was running around the shop in his pyjama shorts, or that he likely looked like he’d not combed his hair in half a century, or perhaps that he was clutching onto him with such seriousness that you could’ve sworn he was preparing to head out to war. 

“Uh... we don’t have any in right now? If you want, there’s some in the greenhouse.” 

“Okay, greenhouse, good,” Mark said, patting that same shoulder as thanks. He’d almost left, when he turned back abruptly, startling his friend again. 

“Seriously, mate, has something messed with your marbles-” 

“Hyuck. Where’s Hyuck?” 

Hendery squinted at him. He then groaned in resignation, exhausted but used to Mark’s outbursts.

“In the back garden,” he said clearly, with exaggerated calm. “It’s lunch break, but I’m sure you didn’t know that either.” 

“The back garden?” Mark said, voice ringing frightened, “Why didn’t you say that before?” 

“I wasn’t aware people answered questions they weren’t asked...?” 

“And there’s really no daisies in the shop?” 

“ _No_ , Mark.” His patience was visibly running thin. 

Mark couldn’t go to the greenhouse now, if Donghyuck was there. Unless he suddenly developed super speed, he’d obviously be seen before getting there. No, he needed to think this through. 

“The park it is, then,” he said, nodding with determination. “Thanks, mate.” 

He dashed towards the exit, likely making the poor gardener rethink all past decisions which had led him to this point. Mark would remain one of life’s great mysteries. Hendery must have given up trying to figure him out ages, no, possibly aeons ago. 

“Yo, Mark, it’s a ten-minute walk to the park? There’s plenty daisies out back, why are you-” 

The rest of his words were drowned by the busy street, as Mark had already left, rushing towards the park. A ten-minute walk, perhaps, but who said he would be walking? He could make it there in five. 

He couldn’t have run more than a couple of blocks when it dawned on him that there was merit to Hendery’s claims. He had no idea what time it was - what if, while he ran to and fro the park, managed to find enough daisies, Donghyuck’s break would end and he’d go back to work? What then? He could usher him away, but this would mean more wasted time, more chances for things to go wrong.

He was in the garden, alone, and there were daisies in a greenhouse in said garden. Damn it all. 

Hendery seemed stuck between befuddlement and straight-up surrender when he saw him enter again. Though Mark knew Hendery was one of the last persons to be truly angry with him, he gave him a friendly pat on the arm and made a mental note to make it up to him another day. 

“Your daisies are the obvious choice. Just needed a walk,” he said, grabbing a pair of pruning shears. 

He heard Hendery mutter something about never admitting he was wrong, but he walked out into the garden regardless.

And there he was - sat on a log they’d placed to the side, next to a hawthorn tree, to use as a resting spot, and Mark was so taken aback by how gratifying it was purely to see him that he halted his mission just long enough to admire him.

He had a notebook perched on his knees, the one Mark knew to be his songwriting one, and was twirling a pen between his fingers in thought, his teeth worrying his lower lip. Even his hair was all dishevelled, either from the wind or because he’d run his hands through it, unable to come up with the right words. Sunlight cascaded across his face, turning it burnished gold, while the lines of his jaw seemed sharper, framed by the snowy white hawthorn blossoms beside him.

No painting, no matter how expertly made, how realistic, could ever come close to Donghyuck’s beauty in that moment, this breathing statue of careful, artistic rumination, every detail more precious than the last. Perfect. Mark didn’t use the word often, but it had been made to describe Donghyuck, the way he appeared like a beacon to him.

Well, if such a restless night hadn’t made him lose it altogether, he’d certainly become terribly romantic all of a sudden.

Why was he so afraid? Why had he been afraid, all these months? This wasn’t some soap opera, where his confession would be met with gasps and end in a tragic twist or a melodramatic altercation. This was Donghyuck, who’d invariably been by his side for nearly a year, seen the best parts of him and some of the worst, pushed him to be the best version of himself. Donghyuck was home, he was the simplest reason to smile, the most earnest definition of a soulmate, and Donghyuck _cared_ about him. He wouldn’t push him away just because he felt differently, if that was the case. Mark had no reason not to trust their bond, of whatever kind it was.

When Donghyuck saw him, his thoughtful expression eased on the spot.

“Mark?” he said, his voice coming out a bit high. Mark found himself smiling, and hearing Donghyuck say his name only widened that smile, a shiver coursing through him.

“Donghyuck,” he mumbled, just to test the word. The younger’s eyebrows knitted together slightly, but his eyes were sparkling like, God, some type of gemstones. Was that the inspiration, or… just Mark?

“How are- You’re feeling better?”

“Better?” Mark echoed, then nodded rather violently, a little out of it. “Yeah, totally, yeah, much better.”

“But-”

Wait. Mark was here for a reason. He darted past Donghyuck to reach the greenhouse, motioning for him not to sit up, or to wait a moment, or to keep quiet - it might’ve come across as either, in his rush.

He spotted the daisies easily, nestled between the pansies and hydrangeas, and started gathering a dozen or so. He hadn’t thought to grab some twine to tie them with, but this would have to suffice. He wasn’t sure Donghyuck’s patience (or, alas, his own) could put up with another march back to the shop.

So he returned to the younger, heart thudding in his chest, as though he was back on that roller coaster ride, but also strangely calm - unsurprising, maybe, given Donghyuck was with him this time as well.

He thrust the small bouquet into Donghyuck’s hands, his arms sinking by his side.

Donghyuck looked momentarily startled, blinking up at him in surprise. Then his eyes lowered to the flowers, and the tiniest smile took shape on his lips, full of wonder, as though he cherished them. Seeing it made Mark falter for a second, but it also bloomed certainty in his chest. Yes. This was right.

“What’s going on, Mark? I thought you weren’t feeling well? What’s with the daisies?” 

That little raise of his eyebrows, the almost-there-dimple in his cheek, the trail of moles leading to his eyes, the way he was holding himself, leaning back just slightly, like a provocation, but no longer one that frustrated Mark. He didn’t know if it was because the intent of the pose had changed, eased into something softer... or if it was just Mark’s perception of it that had shifted.

What he did know, however, was that Donghyuck’s eyes, warm coals gazing into his own, had remained perfectly the same - the small insiders to who the boy next to him was, a revelation on their own.

“I... well... Do you know why daisies are so special to me?” Mark said, feeling a little lightheaded.

Donghyuck cackled in disbelief, grabbing his wrist and pulling him down to sit next to him, like that would ground him. He seemed happy just to see Mark again. So much so that he wasn’t even questioning his chaotic state.

“You told me, Mark. That time we went to my house, remember? They’re simple and safe and they remind you of your childhood and-”

“No. No, they weren’t special then. I just told you why I liked them.”

His mouth was forming words without any actual thinking process on his part, but he was grateful for that. The more thought put into it, the scarier it was. The more likely he was to bail out of it.

“Then...?” Donghyuck asked, confused.

God, Mark could run away right then or press a kiss to Donghyuck’s frown, both desires that tugged at him, but neither would do much in the way of maturity or of making Donghyuck understand.

“It’s... it’s because of you,” he said instead, trying to keep his gaze steady on Donghyuck’s eyes, “I liked daisies, but you made them special.” 

“What...?”

“You went out of your way to put them on my cake. You made the daisy sunflower bracelets for us. You carved those daisies on my guitar. You even placed them next to the stage when we sang. It was always _you_ , the daisies were all _you_.” 

Donghyuck’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, but his expression became unreadable. For whatever reason, or likely just pure instinct, Mark took that as a good sign.

“Daisies mean innocence and purity, new beginnings and perseverance. I liked that about them. But, funny story…” He laughed, ragged, “since they’re made up of two flowers, basically, they... they represent…” What a big, big word. “Love. A perfect match. Silly, isn’t it? I never thought about that. But they do. Yellow and white, not at all similar, yet perfectly balanced.” 

How often did Donghyuck keep quiet? Yet here he was, looking at him with those big doe eyes, frozen in place. He looked almost drawn, drawn and breathless and, well, maybe even a bit unsure. It was the same realisation, the same shattering truth that had shaken Mark earlier.

“But that doesn’t... Never mind that. It’s just a funny coincidence.” A smile tugged at his lips, somehow no longer afraid. He took Donghyuck’s hands in his own, squeezing gently, grateful the younger didn’t flinch away. “I studied flower symbolism. I read about their healing properties, legends written about them, mythology, folklore, their meaning and importance in different cultures. But none of that meant anything to me, until they... until I saw daisies as a reminder of _you_.” 

That seemed to affect Donghyuck deeply.

“Mark,” he whispered, a single, broken breath.

Mark laid his heart bare. “It’s true. It’s you. You’ve given everything new meaning, did I ever tell you that? I look at them now and I see you, and that’s so... God. I remember how- I remember your smile, your laughter, your energy, how you’re so... you, no concern for what anybody thinks, not trying to change or adjust or- or anything. How much you’ve faced on your own, and still you’re so compassionate, and kind, and you care so much, never judge, take people for what they are. How much I’ve learned by your side, how you’ve been like a rock to me all these months, pushed me to improve, to grow, to change my perspective. How happy you always make me - how much it means to me that you do. And... how I hope I can make you even partially as happy as you make me. For as long as you’ll let me.”

Donghyuck had not looked away for even a moment, and Mark saw tears welling up in his eyes. Not sad, like the first and only time he’d seen them - just vulnerable.

“You... you understand, right?” Mark asked, to make sure, biting his lip.

Donghyuck let out a puff of air, exasperated, and the next moment he was reeling the older in by the waist. Feverishly, Mark thought that Donghyuck might actually (heavens have mercy on him) kiss him. Instead, he buried his face in Mark’s chest, arms draped over his shoulders in an almost frivolous manner, like he wanted to hide away.

“Idiot,” he mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, as Mark’s hands came up to pat his hair.

Stupidly enough, it was, perhaps, more of a confirmation of Donghyuck’s feelings than words ever could be. Just to feel him there, pressed tightly to him, breath evidently shallow, for once not knowing how to react.

As quickly as he’d embraced him, Donghyuck let go. Something broke inside Mark when he saw the tears in his eyes again. Donghyuck searched wildly for the right words, or phrasing, or whatever else, but then stopped fidgeting enough to look at Mark through already wet, lush eyelashes.

“You mean it, right? Like, in... in... in that way?” 

Mark stared. “Why wouldn’t-”

“Because... because you’re honest and a-and blunt and you care about everyone and you like to tease and it could mean any-”

Instinctively, Mark leaned in and stopped Donghyuck’s nervous, fragmented and emotional speech in the best way he saw of proving himself. It was only a peck, not daring to do more without his permission, but Donghyuck’s lips were soft and full and Mark couldn’t believe he’d touched them with his own.

“Does that answer your question?” he said, in a morsel of short-lived confidence, though heat surged to his cheeks. Since when did he peck people without thinking?! People who clearly liked him back, but still. Was he a reckless teenager?!

Those very plump, rosy lips parted with Mark’s unplanned move. As Donghyuck’s gaze glided over him, as though seeing him for the first time, Mark wondered if he was actually going to start crying, though he seemed equally inclined to laugh.

Instead, he narrowed the distance between them, pausing for less than a heartbeat to stare into Mark’s eyes. Mark had no time to allow himself to analyse any emotion - whether palpitation, or excitement, or reassurance - but he saw the younger’s eyes, glimmering like two smouldering embers, and a pure, simple joy washed over every inch of his body, the kind only Donghyuck could make him feel.

Donghyuck. All Mark could think was Donghyuck, an endless chant, each time saying his name with more affection.

Donghyuck kissed him so delicately he might not have been kissing him at all, like he was stroking a cherry blossom petal, afraid too much pressure would disturb it and cause it to fall to the ground, shattering the illusion. His lower lip was trembling against Mark, either truly crying or trying not to, but his palm held Mark’s face with more strength, his energy concentrated on that - whether to hold himself back from doing more or to ensure the older was indeed there. 

Why had Mark been so afraid? Donghyuck cared about him - no, Donghyuck… Donghyuck _liked_ him.

In his jubilation, Mark almost missed the tear that landed on his cheek. He couldn’t tell whose it was. Maybe Donghyuck wasn’t the only one crying, after all.

For another half-second, Donghyuck pulled away and breathed a shaky breath, before he pressed his lips to Mark’s again, more fervently this time, pulling him close, hands tangled in his clothes, and Mark felt it all - the relief, the disbelief, the quivering effect of joy so intense neither yet knew how to deal with, but beyond that, a feeling of coming home. 

Before long, Donghyuck was back in his arms. Mark had never seen him quite this vulnerable, so unlike himself, no more poise or confidence or fierceness.

And it didn’t feel too late, or drawn out, or like either had made a mistake by not speaking up sooner. In a way, it felt… raw, natural, as if it was supposed to be just so. All those months of trepidation, those couple weeks of actual pain, and the days he’d needed to grasp the situation, they’d all brought them here. And here indeed they were.

Donghyuck felt the same. While Mark had feared his every movement, analysed each gesture and word, Donghyuck had felt the same. That would take a while to fully set in.

“You- I didn’t want... I really didn’t want to think... Or assume...”

“Hyuck, breathe. It’s okay,” Mark said, calming himself for Donghyuck’s sake.

In a burst of emotion, Donghyuck shoved at his chest and gave him a frustrated glower.

“Okay? How is this _okay_? Is this why you avoided me for _weeks_?” Donghyuck asked, voice betraying his chagrin, though it paled in comparison to the evident gladness in his eyes. When Mark mumbled a feeble “Well…”, Donghyuck inhaled deeply. “I thought I’d done something wrong! You- I didn’t know what to think for a while there.”

Mark felt his cheeks burning. Donghyuck had had no reason to forgive him as quickly as he had. He’d acted with so much immaturity, caused the one thing he'd wished to avoid… there was no taking that back, no excuses to be made.

“The night of the performance too? When you were going back and forth constantly? What…” Donghyuck choked on a breath. “Just what was _up_ with you that night?”

“I was... really confused,” Mark admitted guiltily. “You were talking to Mr Watts about girls and asking me if I was okay with Ten and Johnny being together-”

“Do you not remember how quickly you called me a friend in front of him? As if you were afraid I’d say something else?”

Mark scoffed and lifted his wrist to display the beaded bracelet in a similar gesture to a prisoner resenting his encumbrance. “You called this a friendship bracelet, Hyuck.”

“Because- that was months ago, Mark, what even.” He laughed, a rattled, incredulous sound. “And we _were_ friends, what was I supposed to say? A couple bracelet? What would your reaction have been to that?”

Well, when he phrased the problem in that way... Was Mark so obtuse as to never consider things but in the way that he himself saw them?

Donghyuck encountered a similar impasse. He braced himself before saying, “Ever... Even then?”

“What?”

“You felt like this back then? In August?”

Perhaps he should’ve been embarrassed, but this was nothing compared to his recent behaviour. He released a short cackle of derision and said “Yeah. That’s when it started, I guess.”

Donghyuck deflated fully, the remainders of his anger fading. He looked past him, into the distance, swallowed hard. The expression on his face was one of having just been bludgeoned.

“Ever since then,” he said, as if repeating it would make him believe it. 

“Wait,” Mark said, hands knotting tighter around Donghyuck’s, “You too?”

“That night on the hill back home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the longest time. Nothing... everything about it was so honest, so you, so not me, but also... something I’d wanted for so long, without even knowing. To be open with someone. I never forgot that.”

Surely not...?

This knowledge, surprising as well as perfectly believable, pooled in Mark’s chest like syrup sliding atop a tree trunk, rang in his ears like white water or the endless echo resonating in a high valley.

The night on the hill... nearing a year, soon enough. They’d intuited their feelings at different times, only for both of them it had been a night on a hill. A different night, a different hill. Not different feelings.

Mark repudiated all immediate, trivial thoughts and for once didn’t shy away, didn’t wait around for some type of assent; he felt and reacted. He cupped Donghyuck’s face in his hands, smiling a little desperately at the slight curve of his nose, the teary eyes, the moles after which all constellations had been moulded, not the other way around, and in a second he’d closed the gap between them again.

He no longer held back, kissing Donghyuck the way he deserved to be kissed, to make up for the months they’d lost. He kissed him like he’d been daydreaming of doing - sincerely, driven by emotion rather than reason, at the heart of which beat a fluttering feeling of what might have been translated to ‘at last’. He drew Donghyuck closer, curving into him, but careful, well aware he was handling the gentlest of things.

Donghyuck needn’t have been called gentle. He was true and strong, a fiery youth, a calm endeavour, always rising despite all odds - he wasn’t fragile, he didn’t need anyone coddling him. In many ways, he was stronger than Mark could ever hope to be. But for all he put up with in valiance, his was a soft heart, gentle, caring and warm, a placid lake of devotion and ardour.

“Mark,” Donghyuck breathed against his lips, and the gentleness, yes simultaneous longing in it filled Mark with an all-encompassing warmth, spreading from head to toe. The younger's hands slid from Mark’s shoulders to his forearms, only to then rest delicately on his lower back, and his body eased completely in Mark’s arms, all tension drawn from it. 

When they broke apart, both tried and failed to restrain the smiles which found their way on their faces.

“How am I supposed to stay mad at you now that I’ve finally got to kiss you? But you’re still such an _idiot_ , I _cannot_ stand you,” Donghyuck mumbled in a cadence so gentle that it could’ve made peonies bloom, a stark contrast to his words. He squeezed a laughing Mark’s hands, though Mark wasn’t even sure when he’d caught them in his again.

His honey skin was damp with tears, and as another dripped down his cheek, Mark let himself act on his urge. He leaned in and pecked it away, a brief pang of salt hitting him.

Donghyuck stood there with a completely blank expression on his face, as though that simple, impulsive gesture had wiped him clear of everything save bewilderment. Then he chuckled, a sound that rang far more like a yelp. Mark had intended for the gesture to soothe him, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect, as the younger battled more tears by blinking upwards.

“Hyuck, why-”

“It’s ridiculous,” Donghyuck began. His face never settled on any emotion for too long, or rather any singular emotion at a time. “I know it is, but I’m so happy.”

It ached to hear that, somehow. “It’s not ridiculous.”

“You know why I ignored every sign? I lied to myself about every gesture, everything you said, when you were bashful or bold. I looked for other reasons, explanations, whatever. It should’ve been obvious, but I pretended it wasn’t. I’ve... I’ve felt like this about you for so many months, Mark, I just, I didn’t know what to _do_.”

The words seemed to be his way to collect his thoughts, so Mark stayed quiet.

“Every guy I’ve ever liked...” He paused, pursed his lips, shrugged. “They didn’t feel the same,” he said, but it sounded like they’d caused more suffering than simply not sharing his feelings. “And then you come, and not even a few months in it’s as if you’ve found your way into every part of my life. Even parts no one’s ever seen. And you make me want to be better, and to be honest, to be myself, you want to know more, want to listen, support me in everything. You’re like no one I’ve known, and you end up meaning so much to me, more than anyone ever has. So feeling this way... I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to risk losing you.” He sucked in a breath, the admission fragile in his next words, “I’ve never been more afraid of losing someone. Losing people’s always hurt, but losing you...”

He didn’t continue his thought, eyes flitting around, as he rubbed Mark’s hand restlessly.

“I tried, you know? To pretend I didn’t feel the way I did. To stop feeling that way. I didn’t want to get my hopes up no matter what you did, either. Being your friend was already more than I could’ve asked for, more than I thought I’d ever get. If it got in the way, if I wound up spoiling everything... But how was I supposed to stop, when you’re you? I’ve never met anyone like you. So good. So honest. So caring. Always there for me.”

“Hyuck...”

Mark sighed and shuffled closer, until he was in a sort of strange, weirdly angled position, halfway turned towards Donghyuck, part of his leg sitting atop Donghyuck’s thigh. He ignored the discomfort and encircled the younger’s shoulders, so that his head fell weakly in the crook of Mark’s neck. One arm cradled his head, his hand weaving itself in Donghyuck’s hair and caressing.

“I understand. It’s alright.”

“I just...I really didn’t want to lose you,” Donghyuck whispered again, voice shaky.

Mark could’ve assured him he wouldn’t, but there was something else that he felt more profoundly, a sentiment they shared.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he said, quiet. He propped his chin on Donghyuck’s head, whose breath was still uneven under him. “I should’ve told you, and I almost did, gosh, countless times. But I didn’t want to lose you either. I was afraid of everything. Hurting you, losing you. But... we won’t lose each other now, okay?”

Donghyuck sighed, taking his time before acknowledging the question. “...Okay.”

Mark held him tighter, letting his body prove just how much he cared about him and how grateful he was to have him close, how he wouldn’t let him go ever again. He thanked the heavens he’d finally built up the courage to confess. Just the thought of Donghyuck going through this for one day longer than necessary hurt beyond words.

They remained in that position a long while, surprisingly uninterrupted. Mark knew could only be because Hendery had decided to give them space, else he’d never willingly abandon his garden. The fact that no one called Donghyuck back to work - that was probably his doing too.

The trees sighed in the gentle breeze, the grass tickled Mark’s calves, and ringlets fluttered past them in gentle, wavery movements. It felt like all of nature was pleased to see them together, drawing from their contentment and letting it shine in everything around them. 

Eventually, Donghyuck disentangled himself from him. He’d gotten his emotions in check, at least for the most part, and what he was left with was a soft, grateful smile, as dazzling as a blanket of snow winkles in the sunshine.

“Mark.”

“Mm?”

“We’ll talk from now on, yeah? Even if we’re scared. Unsure about what it might mean for either of us. We’re not allowed to beat around the bush.”

Mark nodded. “Mhm,” he said. “I honestly want nothing more than to avoid miscommunication for the rest of my days. It’s always made everything difficult - when we met, and then this whole feelings mess.” 

It made Donghyuck’s usual playful, mischievous grin return to his face.

“Oh, yeah, when you came into my shop, fuming and yelling and then breaking in in the middle of the night to steal our speakers, I somehow didn’t foresee it’d lead to this.”

Mark winced, then wailed, “I can’t believe I actually did that. Or avoided you for so long. You honestly didn’t have to forgive me just like that, I... the way I acted this time around-”

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “Were you purposefully trying to hurt me?” 

Mark's next intake of breath caught in his throat and he hacked a cough. “W-What?! No way, I’d never-”

“Doing it because you couldn’t care about me or my feelings less? Because of an ego so big you couldn’t see past it?” 

“No, of course not-” 

“Exactly,” Donghyuck continued, brushing Mark’s fringe to the side. “You think I’d not say something if you were actually being horrible to me or anyone else? But you weren’t. You looked... lost. Really lost, for a long time. I was worried about you, about us, but why would I just give up on you? Without even giving you the benefit of the doubt? Would _you_ have given up on me?”

Mark shook his head vehemently. He wouldn’t, not a chance.

“Then there you go. Sometimes, waiting is the most you can do for someone. Trust them to find their way back. We all make mistakes; lose sight of certain things. It doesn’t make you horrible. You’ve never hurt me on purpose, Mark. I don’t think you ever would. I told you, I wasn’t angry with you. I wasn’t just now, either. Just, you know, emotions getting the best of me.”

How could Mark be so lucky as to know Donghyuck? For him to be in his life and to feel the same way about him. This wonderful, wonderful man. He could live a thousand lives and still not deserve him. 

“Lost or not, hurting you was the last thing I wanted. I’m sorry,” Mark whispered. “But thank you. Really. For understanding. You... always do.” 

“Not to worry, Markles. It’s what we do for each other.”

Donghyuck then flicked him on the forehead. When he did it harder than intended, he pecked the spot, expression both sheepish and satisfied as he did. Mark’s stomach whirled around, making him dizzy. They’d be doing this from now on? Just because they felt like it? Would his heart be able to take it?

“As for the other thing... you’ve been apologising for nearly a year, dork. Yes, it was stupid, no you shouldn’t have done it, but you regretted it and have more than made up for it. Will you ever start laughing about it instead? It’s a funny memory now, and that’s all it’s allowed to be.” He pinched Mark’s cheeks, pulling them upwards as to form a smile for him. He then sniggered, staring at the way he’d contorted his face. “I’ll do this until you give me a proper smile. Smile, Markles, smileeee.”

Well, Mark had managed to put on a serious expression, but there was no way he could contain his smile much longer. Not when Donghyuck was beaming and looking at him with the utmost fondness. 

A lot of laughing and kissing later, a drop of water fell on Mark’s chin. His heartbeat quickened, fearing Donghyuck might have started crying again, but that wasn’t it. The gloomy, grey-blue clouds, which had been drawing ever nearer, contrasting against the beautiful azure of the sky, were showering them with a warm, hopefully fleeting spring drizzle. 

Donghyuck threw his head back, not to feel the raindrops, but as an expression of annoyance.

“Sometimes I wish I lived in Sicily, or virtually anywhere where I can be free of all this rain,” he whined. It seemed he was more frustrated about being interrupted than angry with the rain itself.

“How radical,” Mark said. It was then that the drizzle transformed into a proper cloudburst, making it harder to keep his eyes open, even if Donghyuck, who’d since climbed into his lap, was taking the full blow of the rain for him.

Donghyuck eyed him victoriously. “You were saying?”

Leave it to Donghyuck to gloat instead of looking for cover from the rain he so ardently claimed to hate. Mark pushed him off and grabbed his hand, making for the greenhouse.

Once inside, they both looked at one another, clothes not quite soaked (but not far from it), raindrops sprinkled atop their hair, and burst into laughter. Donghyuck flipped some water off Mark’s hair. His hand lingered on the back of Mark’s neck almost on instinct. Even his boyish grin managed to turn softer around the edges. Then he glanced back outside, lips drawing into a pout.

“We’ll have to wait it out, unless the guys are nice enough to bring umbrellas,” Mark said. An excuse not to head inside, really, as, were they to run, it would take all of fifteen seconds to reach the house.

The amused smile on Donghyuck’s lips confirmed he’d seen through Mark’s excuse, but he was kind enough not to comment. Instead, he frowned down at his clothes as if they’d offended him, then tapped his lip in thought. 

“This won’t do. What if we catch a cold?” he said, gesturing to their wet clothes suggestively. “Shouldn’t we get rid of our shirts, at least?”

Mark’s eyes shot wide open, and he had to clear his throat through his embarrassment. “Huh? What, uh- I mean, no-”

Donghyuck laughed. “Good to know you’re still shy. I _was_ thinking the confession was a bit out of character for you.”

“Shy- I’m not shy!” Mark said, but demonstrated otherwise as he crossed his arms across his chest, bashful. “We’re not that wet and it’s really hot in here, we’ll be fine.”

“Well, I was only trying to toy with you, but now I’m rather enjoying this. What are you so flustered for?” Donghyuck said, resting against one of the flower-laden benches and arching an eyebrow.

“I’m not-…”

“Brilliant, then come here, I’ll help.”

He stepped closer, as Mark dodged hurriedly to the side, marginally avoiding hitting his head on a hanging flower basket.

“I tell you I like you and you do a one-eighty?”

Donghyuck shrugged leisurely and returned to pursuing Mark through the old-fashioned glass greenhouse, through all the rows of plants. They blissfully didn’t collide with anything or sent any pots flying (save for that one orchid - though its pot didn’t break, thank God). The place rang with their laughter.

Donghyuck caught him eventually, right as they reached the open door of the greenhouse. Contrary to his threats, he only pulled him into a snug embrace from the back. He pressed a playful but sweet kiss to his earlobe and one to the side of his throat, before he craned his head perfectly on top of his shoulder.

Mark shook his head with affection. He relaxed, patting his arm and succumbing to a smile at the touch. It was strange to think earlier that very day he’d been hiding in his room, still nowhere near ready to confess. Now here they were, feeling like their rapid heartbeats had fallen into place.

The tranquillity didn’t last long, as a cry came from the shop.

“Mark, trample all over there and you’ll have to watch me burn your pen collection! One by one!” Hendery yelled from across the yard, standing in the back door.

Bemused, Donghyuck tilted his head to look at Mark.

“We’re just waiting out the rain, man,” Mark called out, unaffected by Hendery’s empty threats. He knew how much he’d done for them both throughout this tumultuous period of their lives.

“Sure, tell me that after you’ve just run a marathon around my greenhouse, sure! Why does everyone-”

“Hendery, simmer down. Let the kids have some fun,” Mark heard Ten say over the rain.

“They’re not kids, and why must my greenhouse bear the consequences?”

“It’ll be sound as a bell when you return to it, you worry too much. Admit it, you’re just as happy they’ve stopped pining.” 

Hendery bumbled, apparently not quite eager to admit that, but gave in and Ten took his place, waving their way.

“All solved?” He clapped his hands together, not waiting for an answer. “Why am I even asking? Look at you two hugging!”

“Hugging? Like relationship sort of hugging?” Chenle's voice rang clearly, more joyful than those preceding it. Mark barely suppressed a sigh, aware their friends wouldn’t let them live this down for at least the coming week, if ever. Donghyuck, however, chuckled in his shoulder and tightened his grip around Mark’s waist, almost proud. 

“Let me s- Ten hyung, why, no, come oooon-”

“Kids, stay safe! And don’t even think about coming back to work! Work is off grounds for you today! Chenle’ll take over!” Ten called out.

“Why must I-” Chenle bemoaned, but then released a loud ‘Oh’ and said “Yes! I’m taking on all your work! Tomorrow too if you want! The rest of the week even! Just be happy, hyungs!”

Donghyuck laughed again, in the way he reserved for Chenle and his sisters. “Thanks, Lele.”

“And now you two should leave them be too,” Taeyong’s said, in his soft voice, though still loud enough for them to hear. He ushered Ten and Chenle away, threw a contented smile towards them, and the door closed.

Donghyuck turned Mark around to face him, hands coming to rest on his upper arms, the hold delicate.

“How d'you reckon Hendery knew what we were doing? Think we’ve made a stalker of him?"

“Honestly? I’d not be surprised if he hid surveillance cameras around here, to make sure nothing happens to the flowers.”

Donghyuck paused to weigh the merit of the idea, but then bubbled with laughter. “Doesn’t sound too far fetched.”

Mark attempted a groan, which turned into a chuckle instead. Hendery’s dedication to his flowers was certainly unmatched.

“C’mere,” Donghyuck said and hugged him properly.

Mark allowed his eyes flutter shut, absorbing each detail that surrounded him. Donghyuck - that unforgettable smell, the dampness of his shirt, the brush of some stray locks of hair against his ear, the trail his fingertips fashioned across Mark’s back, the rise and fall of his chest against Mark’s. Rain drummed against the glass of the greenhouse, like a melody dedicated to them. They really were drowning in the sound of raindrops all around them. The most peaceful thing. 

Somewhere in the distance, some reed buntings and goldcrests continued their soft tune despite the weather. Even with his eyes closed, Mark remembered the pristine white the metal linings of the greenhouse were painted, softened by the warm browns and beige of the shelves, pots and benches, but brightened by the lurid green and colourful shades of the flowers. The greenhouse was a special place, of stunning beauty, but having Donghyuck there made it that much more meaningful.

With that in mind, he kissed a giggling Donghyuck again, certain all the beauty of the pattering raindrops and the song of the birds were nowhere near as delightful as hearing Donghyuck laugh and knowing he was the reason for it. All the more so that now, with their lips touching, Mark could feel his laughter as his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone (read: hyuck) please give mark the tightest, warmest, fuzziest hug for expressing his feelings so eloquently and making hyuck happy and being the best boy!! finallyyyy 
> 
> perhaps I'm also very happy right now ^^


	14. Chapter 14

“Maaaark! Wake up wake up wake uuup!” 

That was the first thing Mark heard as he opened his eyes, after someone (that is to say, Donghyuck) tickled his sides to wake him, and then someone (also Donghyuck, unsurprisingly) threw an object at his head, making him jump.

“What’s… What time is it?” he asked groggily, voice still laced with sleep. Sitting up, he clasped the cotton shirt, or more precisely, the great antagonist which had ended his sleep prematurely, and eyed it grouchily. It was one Donghyuck had picked for him during a recent shopping trip, boasting large hibiscus flowers. Their striking, lifelike colour, aided by the sunshine slipping in through the curtains, right to his spot on the bed, only made him that much more willing to simply squeeze his eyes shut and ignore the matter at hand.

“Hm, let me see…” Donghyuck began, pretending to check a non-existing watch, “Very, very late o’clock. Like, _super_ late. Incredibly late. The most late.”

Mark blinked up at him slowly. “You mean… we overslept?”

“Silly.” Donghyuck shook his head, though visibly battling a smile. “Yes. We should’ve been downstairs an hour ago.”

Still, seeing Mark hadn’t fully woken up yet and that he was equally reluctant to, Donghyuck stretched across the bed, lifted Mark’s chin with a finger and captured his lips with his own, kissing him tender and slow. 

“Such a sleepyhead,” he mumbled after, so close his breath seemed to be one with Mark’s. “You can’t stand being late but look at you, not moving an inch even though we should be rushing right about now.”

“It’s because you stayed the night,” Mark whined. “You know I hate waking up when you do.”

“Far as I checked, it was you who was clutching to my arm last night, half asleep, _insisting_ I didn’t leave. Unless you forgot?” Mark felt heat rise to his cheeks. No, he certainly hadn’t forgotten. He also remembered how he’d pressed soft kissed all across Donghyuck’s arm, up to his shoulder, eventually reaching his jaw and ending with his lips, until Donghyuck agreed to stay. Mark knew he would have done so anyway, but pretending won him all this affection, and it was okay, because Mark was full of affection to give. “But don’t worry - next time I’ll remember not to do as you ask.”

Mark gave him a pointed, unimpressed look, which drew a laugh from him. He pecked Mark’s lips and nose in rapid succession, patted his cheek gently and then pulled away, once again the eager, purposeful, single-minded boy from before.

“Come on,” he said. “Just have to get through today, and then tomorrow you can sleep for as long as you want.”

“You’ll actually let me?”

Mark had long since learnt Donghyuck rarely slept past 9 a.m., no matter how tired he was, but recently he’d developed a bad habit of waking Mark up not long after. Apparently, ‘too much sleep is as bad as too little’. Mark couldn’t be truly mad at him because of it - more often than not, he was grateful for the extra time awake, and though he wouldn’t admit it in the morning, he really did sleep more than necessary. 

Having opened Mark’s closet, Donghyuck picked a white jacket from among the clothes and nodded at it in recognition. It was his own. He’d forgotten it in Mark’s room sometime the week before. Or, well, there was also a chance he might’ve left it on purpose. It was hard to tell the difference, what with the number of his clothes that had made their way into Mark’s closet as of late. 

He threw it over a loose beige t-shirt, which, by contrast, belonged to Mark. That was another bad habit he’d picked up: stealing Mark’s clothes. Although he still criticised their apparent ‘commonness’, he somehow found himself wearing them more often than could pass for what he called ‘just looking for something a bit comfier’. Mark thought it was likely for the same reason he, too, liked wearing Donghyuck’s clothes: the safe, comforting feeling it came with, like he was around even when he wasn’t.

With a shrug, Donghyuck shot him an over-the-shoulder smile, feigning innocence, and said, “Let’s just say no one’s stopping you from trying.”

Against his will, a cackle escaped Mark. For all Donghyuck prided himself in unpredictability, he somehow managed to be perfectly predictable. He looked up at the younger, fond. Just looked, because lately he did that, without a reason - paused to revel in the affection he felt for him, and in how Donghyuck’s eyes gave away the same emotion.

He’d had a few months to learn that though, yes, relationships meant certain things would inevitably change, the parts that truly mattered remained the same. They were as comfortable with each other as always, they spoke their mind without hesitation, and they simply appreciated each other’s presence. Because when they were together, things slowed down, gained a sort of peacefulness that Mark hadn’t been able to find anywhere else. Warm, soothing, buzzing with tingles of orange and yellow. Donghyuck in general seemed to have that effect.

It was strange to think how many months of this they’d more or less missed out on because they’d both allowed their insecurities to get the best of them. Being with Donghyuck was one of the simplest, most natural things in Mark’s life, and the memory of how afraid he’d once been at the prospect of confessing never failed to make him laugh. 

Well, it wasn’t so simple when the younger didn’t let him laze around in bed on his days off, or when he (quite adamantly, at that) requested they try new things Mark wasn’t fully convinced he wanted or needed to try, tickling him or pouting long enough to get his way, and it certainly wasn’t simple when he teased him to the point of blushing (that was something that _had_ changed, in that he’d begun teasing him even more, which Mark hadn’t even thought possible), least of all when he did so in public.

Naturally, any complaints all but died in his throat every time Donghyuck smiled at him. _That_ smile. The for-Mark-only smile. When he adopted this (incredibly evil yet incredibly effective) tactic, Mark’s for-Donghyuck-only smile emerged of its own volition and any supposed reason for frustration was wholly forgotten.

Oh, Donghyuck... What was he doing to Mark? 

About fifteen minutes later, which is how long it took Mark to shake off his drowsiness and get ready, the two of them walked downstairs. If it had been only one of them, the late entrance would have been overlooked immediately. Since they were together, however, Mark could pretty much predict their friends’ reactions. 

“Slacking off together, kids?” Ten said, as way of greeting. He was sitting in an armchair, one knee drawn over the other, and hadn’t even looked up from his iPad. With all the subtlety he could manage (very little, apparently), Chenle sniggered like a student who was seeing his classmates being scolded by a teacher. Them coming to work together was nothing out of the ordinary, but he still seemed to find it terribly entertaining. 

“Mornin’,” Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck as he took his place behind the counter. “You should’ve woken us up. We may have, uh, forgot to set an alarm.”

“And ruin your beauty sleep? I would never dream of it!” Ten laughed, airy and light, but his expression was kind. “Got enough manpower to handle an hour or two without you two. Given it doesn’t become a regular thing, of course.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it, Ten,” Donghyuck assured. Hearing his own line used on him made Ten break into laughter again. He gave Donghyuck a cheeky wink and returned to drawing something akin to a tiger on his iPad - perks of being the boss, Mark thought.

“Have you even had anything to eat?” Taeyong asked, but, as if already knowing what answer he’d receive, he set an energy bar in each of their hands. “It should be okay to skip breakfast this one time. Just make sure to have something more filling for lunch, alright?”

And there it was. The exact reactions Mark was expecting. He smiled gratefully and inclined his head in agreement. “Will do. Thanks, Tae.”

Taeyong returned his smile. “Don’t mention it. If you want one more, just ask.”

Sadly, soon enough he had to put away the last bite of his energy bar - not because of any clients, no, but because the way Chenle was looking their way, had been looking ever since they’d arrived (intensely, fairly enthusiastically, and with a knowing glint in his eyes) was rather disconcerting. Well, not disconcerting per se, but Mark could only take it for so long.

“What’s up, Chenle?” 

Chenle lit up at the question. Unfair, how adorable he managed to be, without exception, even when Mark felt there was a definite chance what he wanted to say could spell trouble for him and Donghyuck. 

“Ah! Hyung, it’s not like you don’t know what I want to ask!” He didn’t, actually, but he could make a few solid guesses. “You two are always crashing at each other’s place these days… So… It’s got me wondering… When are you gonna move in together for good?”

Donghyuck laughed. Of course he would, since he wasn’t the one who had to answer Chenle’s questions. Well-intentioned but ultimately embarrassing questions. He did, however, have the grace to hide his grin by covering his face with the chrysanthemums he’d begun choosing for a flower arrangement.

“Before you say anything, I’m not the only one who’s curious! I know Hendery hyung wants to ask too, but he’s outside now, and-”

“Make that the two of us as well,” Ten said. It seemed he’d discarded his iPad for the time being. With his chin propped up in one hand, he gestured at himself and Taeyong with the stylus pen in his other one. “Can’t blame us for wondering, can you?”

The glare Mark gave Ten might’ve been capable of felling a small building. 

“It’s not really-” he began, but Donghyuck cut in.

“We’ve been looking into it, actually. We’ve just not been super lucky so far,” he said, evidently deciding he could handle it better. Not a bad decision - Mark often got shy talking about their relationship when too many people were involved in the conversation. “We kinda didn’t want the hassle of driving here in the morning. You know the streets can get pretty jammed. We agreed walking would suit us better, so we looked into places around the area. Seems there’s not that many studio flats nearby that aren’t, A, too small, and B, reasonably priced for what they’re offering. The nice ones we did find just weren’t… us. So, yeah, no luck yet.”

Chenle nodded slowly, expression grim and disappointed, but Ten gave them a sympathetic smile.

“The offer I made Mark still stands,” he said. “You can take my room. It’s far too big for me, and I rarely use it for anything other than sleeping anyway.”

Ten was one of three people Mark had told about seriously planning to move in with Donghyuck, the others being Hendery and his mum, in a space that they could call theirs, not just one of their current rooms. They weren’t in a rush, honestly; whether they used Mark’s room or Donghyuck’s or found a studio, it was all the same to them. But they didn’t want to let go of the idea, regardless. Ten had repeatedly suggested Mark switched rooms with him, but Mark had turned him down. There was no reason Ten shouldn’t have the option of moving in there with Johnny one day, if they wanted to. Besides, a clean slate in a flat of their own, distinct from their workplace, felt like the right call in the long run.

“I told you, it’s fine. We’ll find a place sooner or later. Something we’ll make our own,” Mark said. “But thanks, Ten. You know I appreciate it.”

Ten gave him a thumbs up. “I get it. Long as you have each other, doesn’t really matter where you are anyway, no?”

Cheesy though it sounded, it was true, and Mark’s eyes met Donghyuck’s, quietly confirming this. Just having him by his side was all that he needed. 

Taeyong seemed to like this sentiment too, as he patted Ten on the shoulder and shared a warm smile with him, silently praising him. To Mark, he said, “Ten’s right. But I know a few people around here. I’ll get in touch with them, see if they can help, maybe put in a good word for you.”

“Yes!” Chenle agreed cheerfully. “If not, I’ll talk to my parents. They’d be over the moon to lend you and Hyuck hyung a hand. Plus they know like, half the city.” Mark would have liked to believe that was an exaggeration, but honestly, there was a chance it wasn’t, knowing how influential Chenle’s family business was. “We’ll make sure you find the best place as soon as possible!”

“And once we do, please let me help with the decorating. We need to make sure everything’s perfect,” Ten said. 

“And don’t forget to invite us from time to time either,” Taeyong added. “I can cook something for all of us and we can have dinner together, pretend it’s like one of our usual gatherings upstairs after work.”

“Or we could do a movie night! I’ll bring the best ones,” Chenle suggested.

Mark looked at each of them in part, feeling warmth flooding him. Every once in a while he was reminded how much he loved everyone at TENder Blooms, how grateful he was to have them in his life. Meeting people like them was rare, so for all of them to have gathered in this little, happy shop was something that needed to be treasured. That they’d become such good, loyal, caring friends not only to him, but to Donghyuck as well, meant the world to him. It was the sort thing that could never be sufficiently put into words.

“You’re acting like we wouldn’t still be seeing each other pretty much every day,” he said, softly, smiling.

Donghyuck poked Mark in the stomach lightly, shaking his head. “What Mark means is ‘Yeah, once we find a place, you’ll be the first to know and the first we invite.’”

Indeed, it was what Mark had indirectly said, and from the amused expressions on their friends’ faces, they’d clearly figured out as much. Maybe he didn’t have to express his gratitude: it was an unspoken truth between them. Real friendships don’t always need confirmations.

On that note, Ten clapped his hands together and sprung up from his armchair. “You’d better! But now c’mon. Let’s get at least some work done this morning.”

“Must we?” Chenle wailed, putting on a fake pout. “There’s so much we could still talk about!”

“Sure, and we’ll just tell our clients they’ve come to the right place for a good chin-wag.” Mark barely suppressed the chortle which came over him at Ten’s deadpan expression.

Another pout. “Here I thought you cared about us more than some clients, hyung.”

Ten wagged a finger at the younger. “Hey, I’m still your boss, and I can retract from your pay if you won’t get your work done,” he warned, in the most theatrical manner, so there wouldn’t be any doubt he was joking.

“As if you’ve ever done that,” Chenle mumbled, but he’d sat up straighter, smiling wide, preparing to do as instructed.

Ten hacked a laugh, and though he promised he could ‘always start today’, they all knew the truth well enough not to take the words to heart. Some could have argued that his wasn’t the regular way of running a business, what with how he generally put their well-being above all else, but Mark was pretty certain few other businesses provided a more ideal working environment, or had employees who put more soul into what they did than everyone at TENder Blooms. That spoke for itself.

Work was work, but Mark loved it no less now than he had when he first came here years ago. This job… one he’d have never considered for himself when he’d struggled with lack of sleep just to study for his college exams, but one that had changed his life for the better. He’d found his true passion here, a second family, and even the person who’d come to mean the most to him.

Hm. Maybe flowers were bearers of joy, indeed.

Just as he and Donghyuck nestled behind the main counter to work on Donghyuck’s flower arrangement (but mostly to stick close together), two clients walked in. One of them, a student named Jisung, had recently become a regular. He came in every other day, asking Chenle to make him small bouquets, always different flowers, claiming he wanted to learn more about them. A guise, of course; Mark had seen how sullen he became every time he dropped by when Chenle wasn’t working. That, and he seemed nowhere near as passionate about flowers when one of them took his order. 

The other, a woman in her late 40s, made a beeline straight for Mark. He knew her, as she seemed to gift flowers for practically every occasion, and had yet to choose a place other than TENder Blooms to buy said flowers from. More precisely, she had yet to choose a florist that wasn’t Mark.

“Good morning, Mark. And… Donghyuck, I assume?” she said, to which Donghyuck nodded, though clearly confused as to how she knew him. He’d seen her twice at most, as, by way of bad timing, she’d usually come when he was working across the street. 

“What will it be this time, Mrs Han?” Mark asked.

“Actually, I was wondering if Donghyuck wouldn’t be kind enough to help me out today.” Donghyuck’s lips parted in surprise - he knew how kindly she’d taken to Mark. But as Mark gestured for him to go for it, he stepped forward confidently. 

“At your disposal, ma’am,” he said, replacing his confusion with a charming smile. “Though I wouldn’t have thought you’d give up on Mark so easily. Be honest,” and he leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper, one Mark could nevertheless hear, “he’s not as good as he says, is he?”

Mrs Han elegantly covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed. From behind, Mark crossed his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes in amusement. 

“I’ll have you know it’s because he personally commended you last time I was here. He noted that your carnation bouquets were more beautiful than his own. I was quite impressed to hear that; his bouquets are some of the best I’ve seen. And so I promised him I would ask for you next time if you were around. Don’t you remember, Mark?”

Mark grinned. “It’s been a long time, but now that you mention it, yes, I do.”

Donghyuck turned towards him, eyes glimmering fondly, like the promise of a kiss for when they were alone. 

“He’s just too humble, ma’am. I’m no better than him,” he said, his cheeks bearing a light flush. Adorable, how quickly his attitude changed.

Well, Mark _was_ great at what he did. Ten always praised his skills to new clients, while Taeyong, opting for straightforwardness, never failed to remind him he was still ‘their ace’. But that wasn’t the whole truth. Surprisingly or not, he now shared the spot with Donghyuck. The younger’s imagination and risk-taking knew no limits, and now that he’d also learnt enough about flower symbolism to sustain him, he was a force to be reckoned with. And a client favourite, at that.

He enjoyed it too. They’d talked about letting him return to working only at Funky Pluckers again, but no such thing. To have to decide to stick with only one shop was, as Donghyuck worded it, ‘like choosing between your kids’ and he wouldn’t hear of it. Ten was pleased with this turn of events, even though he’d been the one who’d suggested leaving in the first place, out of concern for Donghyuck. But he liked having Donghyuck around, both as a valuable employee and as a friend he’d grown to care about dearly. Now he worked at TENder Blooms one day, at Funky Pluckers the next. If anything, it kept things dynamic.

“I thought you were trying to get me to confess he wasn’t as good as he claimed, moments ago?”

“I was only teasing,” Donghyuck countered. “If I don’t tease him, who will? Might get to his head. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“Oh, you youngsters,” she said, and with one final giggle, explained to Donghyuck what type of bouquet she wanted. Once finished, she seemed more than satisfied with the result, and left after cheering them both on.

“So, you talk about me with your clients when I’m not around?” Donghyuck whispered, leaning back against the counter and looking at him so earnestly, it was as if they were the only persons there. Then, with a great deal more enthusiasm than was required, announced to the rest of the shop, “Mark talks about me with his clients!”, and started chuckling at his own silliness.

“Who doesn’t he talk to about you?” Hendery said, having just brought in more roses. Mark shot him a hard, perfectly exaggerated glare, after which he smiled back at Donghyuck.

“Only about your work merits, Hyuck,” he said. 

As if. Most of his regular clients knew about Donghyuck at this point. He didn’t do it purpose - not always, anyway. He just mentioned him when the conversation reminded him of him, or otherwise when he randomly wanted to let them know what a talented florist Donghyuck was. They never seemed to mind. Maybe it had something to do with how big Mark’s smile was in those moments.

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow, all jaunty. “Yet didn’t she say that wasn’t the only context in which she’d heard about me?”

“Okay, you caught me.” And it was beyond ridiculous, but his smile shifted to one side, and he could practically feel how boyish and smitten it looked, and no, he shouldn’t admit it, but Hendery was right, Donghyuck might as well have him wrapped around his finger, that’s how fallen he was. “I really can’t help it. You’re always on my mi-”

“Someone please record this,” Hendery said dramatically. “We simply must have this on tape.”

“You already have the strangest collection of photos and videos of Mark, Hendery,” Taeyong chided softly. “Let them have their moment.”

Hendery looked personally offended. “Excuse you! It’s not strange, it’s to catalogue Mark and all his many sides. He’s the first to say they’re funny when I send them to him. Besides, this isn’t for that. They’re being cute, we need to film it so we can look back at it years from now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Donghyuck said, rubbing his nose against Mark’s playfully, as if to make a statement. “That would imply we aren’t always cute, which we all know isn’t true. You best of all, no?”

Hendery turned red. Teasing aside, he was more vocal about how happy he was for the two of them than even Chenle. He’d go ‘aww’ every time he saw the smallest gesture of affection between them, without even realising he was doing it. When they’d point it out to him, he’d just laugh it off, or complain about how it wasn’t his fault (“You’re being cute, what else am I supposed to do?”) and tell them to let him aw in peace and be grateful he wasn’t booing instead. 

Seeing how embarrassed Hendery had become, Donghyuck put some distance between him and Mark with a laugh. “You won’t admit it, fine,” he said. He rested his hands on his hips and beckoned Hendery to approach. “But at least come give me a second opinion here. Do sweet peas or bouvardia work better with these chrysanthemums?” 

“Is that even a question? Obviously bouvardia. And you’re one of our best?” Hendery said, grabbing said flowers with an air of great enlightenment, ready to take over. 

“How is it my fault you’re hiding out in your garden instead of being out here, claiming the title for yourself?”

“It’s not that simple. Sometimes one needs to dedicate oneself to more important activities and forgo titles,” Hendery said, all martyr-like. 

“Guess that means _my_ title is still safe. Lucky me!”

They were both laughing again, embarrassment long forgotten. Trust Donghyuck to know exactly what to say to steer the conversation back towards known, comfortable territory.

Mark lef them banter on their own, but not before sneaking a grin towards Donghyuck. These were their days at TENder Blooms now: not a dull moment in sight. He’d always felt at home here, but nowadays there was something… more about everything. Brighter, that’s the only word Mark could think of to describe it. Just like his and Donghyuck’s relationship, things were ultimately still the same, but they’d also changed in ways they couldn’t quite pinpoint. It made little difference, in the end. What was clear was that this was where they both belonged - among flowers, among friends, and at each other’s side. 

Mark smiled to himself at the thought. What more could he ask for?

-

“My guys!” rang across the shop hours later. Everyone’s attention snapped towards the door and the figure striding in. Johnny. “And ma’am,” he added with a bow of the head when he noticed the woman Taeyong was taking care of.

He slipped behind Ten with familiarity, planted a gentle hello kiss to his temple, saying, “Hey, babe”, and made a salute gesture towards the rest of them. Ten leaned back against Johnny’s chest, smiling blithely, and the older’s arms wrapped around his chest automatically. Mark loved seeing how comfortable Ten seemed with Johnny, as if they’d known each other for a lifetime. If soulmates truly existed, the two of them were surely it. He was glad to know that to be the case; Ten deserved someone to cherish him, and it was obvious to him just how much Johnny did.

“Stopped by to steal the kids for a bit,” Johnny said, ‘the kids’ being short for Mark and Donghyuck. When Ten looked up at him dubiously, he explained, “We scheduled today for live music night. You two aren’t bailing out on me, are you?” 

“Ha! You wish,” Donghyuck said, after which, sweetly, “That is, if Ten doesn’t need us.”

Ten gestured dismissively. “Go, go. Let loose, have fun, charm everyone and make me proud. You especially, Mark. Make sure to slip in something about TENder Blooms before you start, cool?”

“Got it,” Mark said and gave him two thumbs up, before sharing an amused look with Donghyuck. How Ten of him, to always ensure the shop was well promoted. 

It was something they hadn’t been doing for long. A month, two at most. Unexpectedly, not one of Donghyuck’s ideas, rather one of Mark’s. Funky Pluckers still held their evening music sessions, though only a couple of times a week now and starting at around 6 pm, so they wouldn’t stretch too late into the night, and Mark had wondered if there wasn’t a way they could spice them up a bit. Namely, have him and Donghyuck play every now and then. The fact that Mark had come up with such an idea was surprising even for Donghyuck but, needless to say, he’d been the first to support it.

They’d now garnered a small number of people who always came on the days they played. Though Mark enjoyed the occasional times he joined Donghyuck on his gigs around town, he liked these performances better for how relaxed they were. No stage, no fuss, just them seated on those auburn pillows, surrounded by a dozen or so others, usually familiar faces, playing songs they loved with no concern for monetary gain. Those who came did so to unwind after work, making the most of the chance to enjoy good music among friends or potential ones, and that was special in and of itself.

He and Donghyuck worked on the list of songs they’d play together, each choosing a few of their favourites, so the genres were varied enough everyone could enjoy at least something. This time, they also decided to play two of Donghyuck’s self-written songs. One of them, ‘moonlit’, Donghyuck had written for Mark. 

It was a sort of record of various small but precious moments they’d experienced together. Mark hadn’t been able to remember a few of them, but Donghyuck had explained each individually, as well as why they held a special significance for him. Though he’d smiled, his voice had been emotional, shaky, as many were from back when they were struggling with their feelings. After hearing that, Mark had kissed him, heart fluttering happily, and promised he’d never forget again.

Despite how special it was to them, they had no reservations to play it for others. On the contrary, it was fun, if a little sappy: they always smiled privately at each other as they sang, amused at how no one knew the words they were hearing were more or less their story. Maybe that was the living on edge Donghyuck often talked about.

Ten joined them (more perks of being the boss, clearly) right as they were singing ‘moonlit’. He waltzed up to Johnny (so fast you could have sworn Johnny was some type of magnet), sat down next to him and laid his head on his shoulder, drumming his fingers rhythmically against the older’s thigh. Both of them were swaying from side to side slightly, lost in the song and each other’s presence.

And that’s precisely why they’d chosen not to keep it to themselves; Donghyuck’s lyrics had a way of touching those who listened to them, and that was something that deserved to be shared.

About half an hour later, they let Johnny take over. He was a skilled pianist, apparently, and at Donghyuck’s insistence, he’d agreed to play for them. It was his first time to do so - he generally played in solitude or only for those closest to him. But Donghyuck had encouraged him to join the music sessions. Before his turn had come to play, he also joked around with him and the others (“Can’t let the poor piano gather dust like this any longer, can he?”), trying to lighten the mood. It worked: when Johnny took to the piano, with a supportive cheer from Ten, he didn’t even look nervous. That’s the sort of thing Donghyuck did: made people feel comfortable even as they stepped out of their comfort zone.

Indeed, Johnny was good, really good. And watching the loving way Ten was following his movements, Mark realised that was likely the exact way he also looked at Donghyuck every single time.

Guitars were amazing instruments, but when played so beautifully, pianos weren’t far behind. He listened alongside the others, but eventually left to put his and Donghyuck’s guitars away somewhere in the corner. He stood there for a while, partially to recharge, partially because he could see Johnny better from this angle, and let himself relax. 

Another finger locked itself to one of Mark’s, suddenly. He wasn’t even startled. He knew Donghyuck’s hand like it was his own.

He turned his gaze towards the younger, who’d sidled up to him and was standing at his side, wiggling on his feet. Donghyuck’s eyes really did smile, didn’t they? Mark couldn’t hope to explain it, but there was something about them that was simply… happy. Just as one might look at a tree in full bloom and find it emanates joy.

“Hm?”

“You know, we’ve done our part here... And it’s not like Johnny or the others will need us any more… Or notice we’re not around…” He actually smiled this time, a small curl of the lips. “Guess I’m saying, we were late to work this morning, why not leave a bit early too?”

Mark laughed quietly, to not disturb anyone. “Messed up once, we do it again? On the same day? Didn’t know it worked that way.”

“It’s ‘cause you’re looking at it all wrong!” He pouted, fully wrapping his hand around Mark’s. “We were late only because we spent more time together. The universe is telling us today’s our day, that we should make the most of it. Together. We’ll work extra hard Monday! What d’you say?”

Greater men could succumb to that spark in Donghyuck’s eyes. Men that had gone down in history, achieved great things. Mark wasn’t one of them - though, arguably, he could be remembered for just how quickly (no hesitation, no second thoughts) he gave in to the request. 

Driving around the outskirts of the city, August sun beginning to set around them, Mark had to admit, as he always did, that Donghyuck’s ideas rarely, if ever, disappointed. He’d suggested they took a drive around some of the (even) greener parts of the city, to make the most out of the sunset. Between the small patches of land, of forest or the occasional houses, it had certainly been the right decision.

They left their windows open to hear the soothing murmur of nature and played no music. Even Donghyuck’s voice became hushed, though it remained tinted with excitement as he enthused about the new album a favourite band of his had recently released, as well as other small topics that he was passionate about.

Little by little, the sky turned a stunning rose pink, sprinkled with fluffy, loosely shaped clouds varying in shades of cherry red and tangerine orange. Simultaneously, the hills, the old cottages and the dreary footpaths conceded to the sunset, allowing a curtain of light to cast them gold and bronze. Donghyuck lamented not having the oversight to borrow Johnny’s camera, though Mark attributed that more to the fact that they’d snuck out early instead of leaving the proper way. Since he eventually grinned at the photos he took with his phone, it seemed he’d made do just fine.

The colours of the sunset carried out into the evening, a beautiful thing, but... Mark found something else much, much more beautiful.

He glanced towards Donghyuck, who’d fallen silent all of a sudden, only to find he’d stuck his head out the window and was gaping at the landscape whizzing by. His hair, swept back by the wind, no longer covered his face, and as one of his arms was outstretched across the window board, his beautiful skin shimmered in the evening sun.

Donghyuck was, in all possible ways, breathtaking.

But it wasn’t just his looks. Perhaps they were even the last thing Mark was concerned about, with those few curious glances. It was the way his lips had parted, curling up to one side in a minuscule smile, the way he was looking upwards, at the billowing clouds, then quickly shifting to trace the trees, the birds gliding through the air, the serenity of everything. He kept turning his head back to watch a thing or another he’d liked until it disappeared behind them completely, and his lashes came down to blink less than usual, as he seemed keen to enjoy every single part of the world around him, leaving nothing unseen.

It was such a simple kind of joy, just to take in the beauty, the vastness, the grandness, and yet the gentility of the natural world. The pleasure made his eyes sparkle, flicker wild and untamed, though also calm, gliding over and infusing every part of his expression until there was only awe.

When at last he turned his head towards Mark and saw him smiling at him, he faltered and a blush rose to his cheeks, spreading to his ears.

“I- Why are you looking at me like that?”

Mark’s smile only grew, so much so that his cheeks tingled from the strain. He kept his sight ahead, but said, “You look wonderful, Hyuck.”

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Donghyuck’s head snapping back to the window. 

“I…” His tone was low, a soft, lovely thing, and Mark could hear the bashfulness in it. “The sunset’s beautiful. I was only admiring it.”

Indeed, which was perhaps the very reason Mark had found him so beautiful. To be so happy because of something so little. To appreciate life for what it is.

“And I was admiring you,” Mark said.

Donghyuck laughed, full-bodied and surprised. “No, you should be admiring the road!” He slapped Mark across the arm (relatively) gently and instructed gravely, “Pay attention to driving now, admire me all you like later.”

It wasn’t a bad plan, but also not an easy one. Unable to help himself, Mark soon gave in and looked at him, finding the blush lingering on his cheeks. He was displaying a more restrained reaction to the scenery, only his eyes were just as hopeful, just as impressed, soft around the edges. It wouldn’t be long before he would yet again find himself enraptured and forget he’d been trying to appear indifferent. Mark chuckled under his breath, like he was seeing something he wasn’t supposed to, snaked his hand over Donghyuck’s, and gave it a squeeze.

Minutes later, seeing as this continued, Donghyuck huffed. “You’re staring at me again, aren’t you?”

“I’m not?” Mark said defensively, but it sounded more like a question than an argument to support his case.

“Really? It’s not like you’re being very subtle about it. It’s a good thing you’re driving slowly and there’s no other cars around or we’d be in real trouble.”

“Ah, well,” Mark sighed, resigning. “What is it Johnny would say? ‘It’s because I can’t keep my eyes off you’ or something along those lines.”

Donghyuck shook his head and took on a disbelieving expression, like the comparison was funny.

“But you’re not Johnny and I’m not Ten. That’s too cheesy for us.”

With one more glance at him, Mark grinned. Suddenly he knew what he needed to say. Clearly, there was some truth to the things Johnny usually said, beyond their cheesiness.

“And yet... It seems I really can’t take my eyes off you.”

Donghyuck had to have set a record then, for how he instantly turned red, as if Mark had pressed a button and the heat rushed to his cheeks on the spot.

“Oh gosh, okay. Wow. Dork. You went there,” he said, flustered. “Johnny’d be proud of you, no doubt.”

“Kinda care more about what you think, though,” Mark said, biting his lip.

“Hm… Well then, hate to break it to you, but…” Donghyuck sighed, morose, but broke into a chuckle immediately after, incapable of keeping up the act. “I’m messing with you. It was cute. I thought it was very cute.” He lifted their entwined hands and pecked Mark’s. “Only ‘cause you’re the one who said it. Would’ve found it silly, coming from anyone else.” 

Yup, Mark was blushing. Definitely. To be honest, there was a good chance he even broke Donghyuck’s record. But he was beaming too, too satisfied to hold it back. Again, he wasn’t one of those great men, but he loved Donghyuck greatly, and in that, he was infinitely luckier than any of them. No other person could say those sort of things and have Donghyuck find them cute, and no other person could make Donghyuck laugh as gleefully as he’d suddenly started to.

“Oh, Mark… That’s all it took to make you smile that bright? I tell you you’re cute all the time, silly.” He sighed, a soft breath of endearment. “You really are such a dork, Mark, I can’t believe this.”

Mark chuckled. “Pfft, and yet you still love m-”

He stopped mid-sentence, eyes darting heavily back to the road. He nearly cringed at himself in the silence that followed.

Love? He was bringing up love now? Out loud, just because he’d been thinking about it moments before? It would have been a wonderful thing, for him to have a brain to mouth filter, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

They were together now, but they hadn’t... broached the subject, not yet. Aside from back when Mark had confessed, revealing that daisies also signified that very emotion, they’d never talked about anything of the kind. In all honesty, Mark hadn’t worried about it too much. Still, they were a couple, they had feelings for each other, but... were Donghyuck’s feelings... love?

“I do,” said Donghyuck, voice quiet. He’d returned to his previous enterprise, looking outside with a great deal more interest, while a tension floated in the air between them.

“What?” Mark asked, unsure he’d heard correctly.

“You heard me.” Donghyuck grimaced, a sigh cascading from his lips. His muscles were pulled tight, but somehow his expression looked almost... serene. Mark felt his heart beating so wildly in his chest, it might have been moments away from jumping out. “Will you really have us... _me_ confess in a car?”

“Confess...?”

Did he... Was he…?

Another sigh. “Maybe you should stop, Mark.”

Reality tumbled down so rapidly that Mark had no knowledge of what to do with it. When next he spoke, it was like his voice wasn’t even there.

“Stop?”

“Oh my God. The car, Mark.”

Oh, the car. Yes, the car, sure, he could stop the car, sure, yeah.

Easier said than done, given where they were, but eventually, he did find a good spot for parking. He was feeling unnecessarily antsy as he took the keys out, stepped out, and walked for a minute or two across the small field they’d stopped by, putting some distance between them and the car. The vivid colours of the sunset were starting to wane, turning a shade darker, and with them, the atmosphere calmed. Only the playful melody the birds were weaving and the crickets punctuated this, and, Mark felt, in his whirlwind of feelings and expectations, his booming heartbeat as well.

When they’d walked far enough, Donghyuck stopped, tugging at Mark’s sleeve for him to do the same. Before Mark had even fully turned around to face him, Donghyuck bridged the space between them in one swift gesture, his lips finding Mark’s with more fervour than perhaps they’d ever had before. He clasped one arm around Mark’s waist, drawing him near, while his other hand brushed the older’s hair back, making way to rest on his cheek. Mark kissed back, his hand knotting in the fabric of Donghyuck’ shirt, and a familiar comfort submersed him. If he’d been worried, however senselessly and briefly, all that dissolved along with the last sunshine. 

“You heard me right, back in the car,” Donghyuck said, once he’d pulled away. He smiled at Mark, intimate and shy, but steady, like he had no reservations about what he was about to say. “I do. You’re a dork, and yes, I do still love you. No, never mind the still - I love you.”

Mark took a sharp intake of breath. He’d heard few things as melodious as those words gliding off Donghyuck’s lips. He felt like the gust of wind just blowing had wafted him along, because he was so weightless he had to be flying.

“I could’ve said it a lot sooner, or waited longer until I did. It doesn’t really change anything, because it’s true either way. I don’t know when it started, whether even before the whole daisy thing, or after, or maybe it happened that same night back home, when I realised just how special you were to me, how special you would become. Doesn’t matter.” 

He plucked a small, stray dandelion seed stuck in Mark’s hair, blowing it away, and cast his eyes down, timid, as it disappeared from view. He found Mark’s hands, or Mark found his, and they held them laced together between them. The most innocent touch, and Mark was breathless with affection as he felt it. 

Donghyuck didn’t need to tell him he loved him - Mark knew, he’d known, he’d always known, every time their hands had touched so.

“All I know is I do. I’m so stupidly in love with you, Mark Lee. The whole checklist. Happy just thinking about you. Always feeling like it’s our first day together, like no time’s passed, nothing’s changed. Having such an easy time writing songs when they’re about you. Ridiculously being reminded of you when I see, I don’t know, the silliest things, like lions or cactuses or just a random flower, it’s so silly.” He chuckled, shook his head, long locks bouncing with the movement. “Why are you letting me go on like this? Doesn’t matter how I love you. I just do. There. Now I’ve said it.”

Of course he did. He _did_. He was a myriad of butterflies, each more brilliantly painted than the previous, the brightest star shower, all the ripples in a newly disturbed lake, the song of the sea in the most intricate seashell, and he’d somehow fallen for Mark as deeply as Mark had fallen for him.

“Hyuck,” Mark began, because in many ways, he’d repeatedly told Donghyuck how he felt just by uttering it, and it felt right to start that way. He didn’t continue, though, as he was overcome by a fit of giggles. So he chuckled, and chuckled, and kept chuckling until Donghyuck joined him, and they kissed like that, still laughing, less of a kiss and more of a childish meeting of lips.

“I love you too,” he finally said. “A lot. Ticked the entire checklist, as you said.” And then some. “I’m pretty head over heels for you, I think.”

“I know,” Donghyuck said, smiling, even as Mark raised an amused eyebrow at him. “What? You were literally quoting Johnny back there. I’d say I didn’t need any confirmation.”

“That was just an excuse to tell you I couldn’t take my eyes off you. It was true, anyway.”

Donghyuck’s laughter seemed to have been made to join the evening concert of the field. He threw himself down onto the ground and pulled Mark along until they’d sunk into the tall grass, which gathered around them like a cocoon.

“A bit too true. I’ll let you drive us home, but that’ll be the last time. I’ll drive from now on,” he joked. As he was laying on his side and Mark on his back, he traced his fingers over Mark’s chest, touch delicate and feather-light.

“Hey! I’m a better driver than you,” (one of the few instances he could confidently claim that) “I drove well even if I was a bit distracted. It’s not my fault you looked like that.”

“Like what?”

“Just… happy. Peaceful. Kinda like you were part of the sunset.”

Donghyuck looked at him then, moonstruck, and his fingers ceased their course. Instead, he pressed his palm to Mark’s chest, where his heart was. He stayed silent for a few moments, apparently taking in Mark’s words, before his features softened. 

“Stupid. This was stupid. Acting like we had to profess our love all of a sudden, when you say things like that without even thinking.” Well, in truth, Mark said a lot of things without thinking, but that was hardly the point. “You know what’s-” He cleared his throat, and shrugged the thought away. “Never mind.”

“No, what is it?” Mark asked, frowning.

“Ah…” Donghyuck crimsoned, but pressed forward in spite of it. “I… feel loved. When I’m with you. I always do. That’s why I never worried about hearing it. Or saying it, for that matter.”

He’d voiced everything with such certainty up until that point, but with this, he’d become truly timid, averting his gaze, his bottom lip pulled beneath his teeth.

If hearing Donghyuck loved him was akin to being privy to the magic of the starry sky, this was like actually touching those very stars. Mark felt so thankful, so happy, so content to know that was how Donghyuck felt. It was everything he’d ever wished for, could ever wish for, everything the younger deserved. It mattered so much to him that he knew, he simply knew that he’d be just as happy regardless if it was him or someone else who made Donghyuck feel this way. But as long as it was him, he’d make sure Donghyuck wouldn’t doubt it for a second. 

“Good,” he said, and gave him a soft, lingering peck, pressing Donghyuck’s hand more firmly against his chest. “You are. You’re loved. So very loved.”

“I am,” Donghyuck echoed, and Mark caught the fleeting wonder in his voice as he said it. “You do too, right?”

“Do what?”

“Feel loved?”

He did. Every day, every moment he spent with Donghyuck. So loved it felt like he was floating through the clouds, holding sunshine in his hands. It was true, in a way; Donghyuck was the sun, and here he was, held, even touching Mark himself. How Mark wasn’t melting, he may never find out.

“Of course I do. Always.”

Donghyuck grinned and slithered in Mark’s arms, dropping his head on his chest and embracing him by the waist.

“Good,” he said. “You are. You’re so very loved.”

Silly. Mark loved the silliest of boys. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Let’s stay here a while. The evening star’s already up. Let’s wait for the other ones to come out.” Donghyuck said. “We don’t have to talk, just… be here with me for a bit.”

“Alright, daisy.” 

Donghyuck was lucky he was already so warm, or Mark would have felt how his face had heated up through his t-shirt. Even so, Mark could tell he was blushing. He always did when Mark used that nickname, which only made him want to use it that much more. It was fair play, he decided - he crumbled the same way when Donghyuck called him Markles, even a year later.

So they sat, quiet, mapping out the sky, which was progressively turning navy blue. It was just them and the sounds of the crickets and the grass and the sky, and it was enough. It always was.

Under Mark’s hand (which was rubbing the younger’s back), Donghyuck was mouthing different numbers, and Mark realised he was counting the stars as they appeared one by one. Goodness. This boy. Donghyuck, Hyuck, daisy, Mark’s happiness. Mark couldn’t be more in love if he tried. 

“I was thinking, Hyuck,” Mark whispered in his ear.

“About?”

“About me from before I met you. When it was harder.” Mark could basically see Donghyuck frowning. They’d talked about what had happened that night, about what Donghyuck had said in his tipsiness, but this must’ve seemed a strange time to bring it up. “I was thinking I don’t regret meeting you for one moment. In fact, meeting you was the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me. You’ve made everything happier. So much happier. Only happier.”

If a person could emit glee, Donghyuck very much did. It radiated off of him and settled on Mark, enveloped him from head to toe. He squeezed him tighter, burying his face entirely in his chest.

“I feel so too,” he mumbled, hot breath hitting Mark. It made Mark’s smile grow even wider. “You’ve made everything better. The world brighter. My smile bigger. The little things more special.” He sighed. “Tell me you love me again?”

“I love you, Hyuck.”

“Ha,” he breathed, evidently giddy with delight. “And I love you.”

Mark didn’t know if his cheeks would ever stop aching from all the smiling. Things were easier now, for them both. They’d continue to be easier, but more than that, happier.

Only happier. Always happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end! 
> 
> honestly, I first want to say the biggest thank you for all of you who left kudos and comments and gave this fic love! you've made me smile countless times and made my writing experience even lovelier <3 and thank you so so so much for how patient you've been with me, I know this fic's been going for like... almost a year... and updates were such a mess... so for you to stick around for so long means the world to me <3 
> 
> this story came to be because I wanted to write again. from the beginning, the end goal was: finish a story, _this_ story. I hadn't really written seriously for about two years, because... honestly, because of a lot of insecurities. but I missed it; writing's always been an important part of my life. and this is where TENder Blooms comes in! I had no idea where it would go (let alone that it would end up being 111k words - that I never would have imagined), but I loved every minute of it, and it's truly sparked my passion for writing again.
> 
> I know this wasn't a perfect story, but it's very special to me and it likely always will be. you know how they say you pour your soul into what you do? I truly did. I loved writing these characters with all my heart. which is why it's... strange to see it end. 
> 
> I'm truly grateful to everyone who was here with me for the ride! if this story brought you at least a tiny bit of joy or helped take your mind off things, I'm happy. on that note, I hope you're all well and healthy! remember that things will be okay, you'll be okay! I believe in you. you've got this! and as this story's mark would say, you're loved <3
> 
> if anyone wants to find me or say hi: [twitter](https://twitter.com/newnctheroes)


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